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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,018
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
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....and regretting ever having left Cheltenham to explore the world.
Across the vast waters of the Atlantic Ocean Hurricane Danielle gathered herself and swiftly....
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element
"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
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Rank: Constant Gardener
Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 9,517
Location: Cakeland, United States
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migrated across the Florida peninsula, as a Cat5 hurricane and then removed all the oil from the Gulf and deposited it throughout the southern tier landmass of U.S. states. The good news is, the Gulf of Mexico is fit to fish and play in; the bad news is...
 The best thing you can do for your fellow,
next to rousing his conscience, is - not to give him things
to think about, but to wake things up that are in him...
to make him think things for himself - George MacDonald
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,018
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
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....there has been a collapse in the sales of hair gel and an upsurge of guys walking around in leather jackets shouting "Ha-aaay!!" whilst menacingly waving their thumbs!!!
Meanwhile, the geeky nerds of the world had managed to crack the security protocols preventing them from opening e-harmony accounts and were now....
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element
"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
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Rank: Constant Gardener
Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 9,517
Location: Cakeland, United States
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furiously cybering with all of the available former super-models who constantly scanned the online dating regions for their life-changing white knights. One such nerd, Niebaum, had created a portable auto-masturbatory machine which would...
The best thing you can do for your fellow,
next to rousing his conscience, is - not to give him things
to think about, but to wake things up that are in him...
to make him think things for himself - George MacDonald
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Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 8,194
Location: Oz, United States
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Also slice and dice, and make Juilen potatos, making him a small fortune in Television driven sales. He used his small fortune to build a two man rocketship to fufil his dream of...
 Bitches in the Basement on Amazon by our own Dancing Doll
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,018
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
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....finally winning the Nerdiest Nerd at the Vegas Star Trek convention.
Grateful that his lycra pants did not make his butt look too big, he swaggered over to.......
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element
"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
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Rank: Miss Sassy Pants
Joined: 3/14/2010
Posts: 6,474
Location: Ridin the Waves of Lush, United States
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...the dance floor when the song 'Baby Got Back' and shook that thang. Early in the morning, while everyone is still in bed, she wakes up with a...
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,018
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
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......curiously shaped two-man rocket resting between her legs and smiles.
She sighed and wondered if "Holly would free" herself from her inhibitions long enough to.........
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element
"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
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Rank: Matriarch
Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 22,401
Location: Sydney, Australia
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...discover the art of motorcycle maintenance. There was nothing she liked better than a huge chopper between her legs, except perhaps...
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,018
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
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....watching Nicola encourage MK to again draw his lance from its sheath for her amusement.
Pleased at her ability to resurrect a seemingly dead train of thought she decided to slip on her sexiest cfm heels and call..............
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element
"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 327,066
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...for a pizza. The two Rio brothers, Pablo and Chico, were due in town, and what better way to celebrate their arrival than to...
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Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,351
Location: Right here on Lush Stories...
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...re-load her shotgun. She had been waiting to get back at those two bastards ever since she heard that they...
 You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories
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Rank: Constant Gardener
Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 9,517
Location: Cakeland, United States
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had violated the covenant of Crappers Quarterly (don't ask). Instead of a gentle chiding, she was planning...
The best thing you can do for your fellow,
next to rousing his conscience, is - not to give him things
to think about, but to wake things up that are in him...
to make him think things for himself - George MacDonald
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 327,066
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... on stringing them up by the short hairs.
She reconsidered that option when she realised, upon looking at them, that they were preternaturally bald...
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,018
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
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.....around their genitalia and couldn't resist dropping to her knees. Expectant, she took a deep breath, reached tentatively out and.....
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element
"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 327,066
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... answered the phone, which had been ringing with a cacophony fit to wake the dead, or those who were merely dead drunk.
Listening to the voice on the other end, she realised that once again, telemarketing had...
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,018
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
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.....sensed her need for a time-share apartment in Nome, Alaska.
Drooling at the prospect of what could be done during those long Alaskan nights she decided to .........
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element
"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
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Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,351
Location: Right here on Lush Stories...
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...do a Google search for a new deep-fried penguin recipe. She wondered if she had a big enough deep fryer and also is she needed more...
You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories
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Rank: Miss Sassy Pants
Joined: 3/14/2010
Posts: 6,474
Location: Ridin the Waves of Lush, United States
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oil, but all she had on hand was massage oil. So the penguin was out of the question, until she remembered that...
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 10/27/2009
Posts: 1,276
Location: United States
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...she had won the red herring on a special rerun of UHF. The only thing she needed now was...
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 327,066
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... black silk stockings and a fancy suspender belt. Looking into the kitchen cupboard to see if they were there...
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Rank: Divine Rapscallion
Joined: 8/14/2010
Posts: 3,048
Location: On the ragged edge of disaster
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...she was distracted by a large jar of marshmallow fluff sitting tantalizingly on the shelf at eye level. With a wicked smile, she decided at once to...
Maggie Rascal
(Please note, I am no longer active on Lush and will not be responding to messages or friend requests.)
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 327,066
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... mix it with oatmeal and treat herself to an at-home moisturising facial. She glorped it on in generous dollops, and left it for the requisite fifteen minutes. The doorbell rang, and forgetting that she was covered in the strange mixture, she opened the door to see...
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,018
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
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.....the two Rio brothers, Pablo and Chico, who had finally been sent over by Rocco.
Realising that pizza was off the menu, the lads guided her back to the kitchen, pulled out their Hershey bars, and looked hungrily at her as they decided to.....
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element
"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
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Rank: Constant Gardener
Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 9,517
Location: Cakeland, United States
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purchase a pair of plump Chinstrap breeding penguins from the profiteering research scientists at McMurdo and ship it halfway around the globe to their cousin's husband's sister's restaurant in Nome. The very thought of introducing a penguin species into the northern hemisphere gave the Rio brothers wood; they would have the last...
The best thing you can do for your fellow,
next to rousing his conscience, is - not to give him things
to think about, but to wake things up that are in him...
to make him think things for himself - George MacDonald
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Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,351
Location: Right here on Lush Stories...
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...of the remaining marshmellow fluff sitting on the counter. But they were not done here, as they finished their meal of fluff they began to clear the counter and prepared to...
You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories
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Rank: Constant Gardener
Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 9,517
Location: Cakeland, United States
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take turns riding their drama Llama to their local 7-11 convenience store. Their friend, Apu was busily guarding the slurpee machine from... *usurpation sux 
The best thing you can do for your fellow,
next to rousing his conscience, is - not to give him things
to think about, but to wake things up that are in him...
to make him think things for himself - George MacDonald
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 10/5/2007
Posts: 1,987
Location: The Tundra, United States
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make hot, passionate love on the counter. Before that, the doorbell rang and....
The Roommates Trilogy: Roommates with BenefitsRoommates with Benefits: Snowed In Roommates with Benefits: The Working Vacation is now available for your reading pleasure Look for the eBook version of Roommates with Benefits to come soon!
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Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,351
Location: Right here on Lush Stories...
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...and a group of Jehova's Witnesses walked in and sat down. They knew it would be hours before they would be able to get to the slurpy machine Apu was guarding and tell Apu that they also needed...
You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,018
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
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......to speak with the Police Chief because, when they relocated from Wisconsin as part of the Witness Protection Programme, this was not what they had expected. Nevertheless, they settled down to 'witness' the intended sexual depravity on the kitchen counter and each of them took out.......
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element
"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
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