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Unexpected endings - writing challenge (ongoing) Options · View
cunnilinguist
Posted: Sunday, September 19, 2010 9:14:07 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/5/2010
Posts: 171
Location: India
...their guns. What ensued was a fierce gunfight between the Jehova's Witnesses and the Mormons who showed up from out of nowhere in drags. The showdown lasted for about three minutes,...
Guest
Posted: Sunday, September 19, 2010 1:02:26 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,343
which was just as long as John lasted in bed these days. Was it possible to get worse at ....
WellMadeMale
Posted: Sunday, September 19, 2010 2:22:10 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,213
Location: Cakeland, United States
putting his condom on the proper appendage? Someone needs to tell him not to put it on his tongue before we kiss, but I guess...

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
mercianknight
Posted: Thursday, September 23, 2010 11:26:45 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,029
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
...I should be grateful he kept the wrapper on. She chuckled to herself as she thought of.......

"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
Guest
Posted: Thursday, September 23, 2010 11:32:18 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,343
... chocolate. "What more can I say?" she opined in a low voice, not realising that her thoughts were silent but appeared as inflated balloons hovering over her pretty head...
sprite
Posted: Thursday, September 23, 2010 11:37:49 AM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 13,615
Location: My Tower, United States
...Which were promptly poppped as a particularly portly porcupine walked past, on his way to a very important rally for...
Guest
Posted: Thursday, September 23, 2010 12:10:51 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,343
waxing as an alternative to plucking or shaving. Porcupines, he opined, were sadly misunderstood...
Guest
Posted: Thursday, September 23, 2010 8:02:34 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,343
...and this rally would be a good chance to show off the new 87-blade razors, with the lubricated strip. Knowing he would need supplies, he quickly...
WellMadeMale
Posted: Thursday, September 23, 2010 11:03:05 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,213
Location: Cakeland, United States
dialed the number to Nicola's Hair Removal and Carpet Emporium. Or so he thought; in his haste he reversed two digits and instead was greeted with the husky voice of...

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
nicola
Posted: Thursday, September 23, 2010 11:13:14 PM

Rank: Matriarch

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 24,863
Location: Sydney, Australia
his mother in law, who smoked 80 ciggies a day. Cursing his misfortune at being talked into going over to her place for dinner that evening, he suddenly came up with a cunning plan, which was to...
magnificent1rascal
Posted: Friday, September 24, 2010 9:46:35 AM

Rank: Divine Rapscallion

Joined: 8/15/2010
Posts: 3,018
Location: On the ragged edge of disaster
...ring up his friend Baldrick to inquire about the availability of a truckload of turnips. He laughed sinisterly to himself as he plotted the nefarious deed that he was about to commit, which involved...

Maggie Rascal
Guest
Posted: Saturday, September 25, 2010 1:00:57 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,343
... shimmying down a drain pipe outside the Moldavian Embassy in the capital of the country this thread takes place in, and attempting to walk nonchalantly away, all the while smoking a real stinko of a cigar and caressing his ideals of...
Guest
Posted: Sunday, September 26, 2010 9:57:23 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,343
'Allisms' as he had not decided which 'idealism' he preferred and was briefly flirting with Facism at the moment. He then dropped his cigar as the the most peculiar vision he had ever seen strolled into view. Consuela was...
WellMadeMale
Posted: Sunday, September 26, 2010 10:28:07 AM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,213
Location: Cakeland, United States
was straddling Javier's shoulders as he was stumbling down the cobblestone street, a bottle of cheap scotch in his left hand and a fatty blunt of primo Afghani redbud in his left. Consuela had a firm hold of his ears, with her calves locked under his arms and her feet pinned to Javy's chest; she was also...

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, September 26, 2010 12:29:52 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,343
...wondering how the hell she got there, since she was meant to be preparing the cabbage for the upcoming...
mercianknight
Posted: Monday, September 27, 2010 9:15:30 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,029
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
.....Mr Universe tournament. Feeling bad about always referring to Javier as 'Cabbage', she decided to......

"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
MrNudiePants
Posted: Monday, September 27, 2010 12:37:12 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/10/2009
Posts: 2,068
Location: United States
...give cabbage a little more respect from now on. After all, of all the vegetables in the world...

LadySharon
Posted: Monday, September 27, 2010 12:55:21 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/5/2007
Posts: 2,060
Location: The Tundra, United States
are used for sex demonstrations. She then proceeded to explain the reason the importance of kiwis when...

The Roommates Trilogy:
Roommates with Benefits
Roommates with Benefits: Snowed In
Roommates with Benefits: The Working Vacation is now available for your reading pleasure

Look for the eBook version of Roommates with Benefits to come soon!
mercianknight
Posted: Tuesday, September 28, 2010 5:35:50 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,029
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
...Crocodile Dundee rushed into the room wanting to know why she thought only those from New Zealand were worthy of mention in this thread. He quickly threw her over his shoulder muttering, "Don't worry sheila, after a little down under you'll be ready to......

"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
nicola
Posted: Tuesday, September 28, 2010 6:01:51 AM

Rank: Matriarch

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 24,863
Location: Sydney, Australia
finally slay the dragon, who had been hanging around middle earth for months, demanding a higher appearance fee. Strangely, Hugh Laurie appeared out of nowhere, reminiscing about the days before "House", when his humourous ditties on the piano would get him into trouble, and he'd have a blast doing his impersonation of...
mercianknight
Posted: Tuesday, September 28, 2010 10:20:09 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,029
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
....Dame Vera Lynn singing "We'll meet again". Quickly dismissing the idea of wearing a frock again, Hugh instead reprises one of his "Black Adder" roles and....

"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
magnificent1rascal
Posted: Tuesday, September 28, 2010 1:03:36 PM

Rank: Divine Rapscallion

Joined: 8/15/2010
Posts: 3,018
Location: On the ragged edge of disaster
...exclaimed how happy he was that someone brought this thread back to the Baldrick/turnip reference! Seeing the blank look on everyone's faces, though, he...

Maggie Rascal
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, September 28, 2010 1:27:56 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,343
... scratched his nose, sniffed a turnip, found it to be, well, a turnip, and therefore lacking! Then he called in his mates before heading to the turnip exchange, from which doom none were likely to ...

Guest
Posted: Tuesday, September 28, 2010 1:34:37 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,343
metamorphosize into abstract thought as hard as he wanted it to. With a sigh of annoyance he drop kicked the turnip and watch it collide with...
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, September 28, 2010 1:42:41 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,343
... a double strand of pearls, around Lois's neck! How on earth did a truck load of turnips metamorphose into a pearl necklace? Stunned at the revelation, he ...
WellMadeMale
Posted: Tuesday, September 28, 2010 1:48:36 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,213
Location: Cakeland, United States
fantasized about giving Lois his own version of a pearl necklace. Meanwhile, in Tripoli, MercianKnight was spotted stroking and petting a braying camel, which seemed to...

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, September 28, 2010 1:56:42 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,343
have developed a weird habit of spitting at passers by who wore hats. He pondered the meaning of the trilby for a second too long. Realising with a start that he was late for...
MrNudiePants
Posted: Wednesday, September 29, 2010 8:11:41 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/10/2009
Posts: 2,068
Location: United States
... his "Camel Lovers Anonymous" meeting, he decided to hurry along. Unfortunately, up ahead in the street was a...

WellMadeMale
Posted: Wednesday, September 29, 2010 9:18:32 AM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,213
Location: Cakeland, United States
large, steaming pile of fresh Tyrannosaur dung, which meant the fearsome predator was still somewhere, relatively close to the neighborhood. Friar Tang carefully opened the envelope in such a manner as to not...

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
mercianknight
Posted: Wednesday, September 29, 2010 10:28:21 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,029
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
....let the waiting throngs see the name of the winner for this years L.A.F.T.A. (Lush Academy Forum Thread Award). He scanned the contents of the card, looked up and proudly proclaimed.......

"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
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