Uncomfortable silences?

Lurker

0 likes 13 Sep 2010

If you are having a date with some guy you like, but it looks there's a communication barrier, you want to have some small talk, but the whole thing doesnt flow as it should and there were some uncomfortable silences, and you felt like "cheescakes, what can I say now"...would that make you reconsider the chances of a second date?

Or what about after sex, people are supposed to have small talk after sex, what if he didnt say anything?

SweetPenny

Active Ink Slinger

0 likes 13 Sep 2010

If I didn't have good communication with a guy, then I would not go out with him again. Good communication is essential to any relationship.

However, small talk after sex is not a necessity for me. It can be wonderful to simply lay my head on a man's chest while he strokes my hair and we "bask in the afterglow." Or, if we really wear each other out, then it can be nice to just fall asleep together.

Guest

Lurker

0 likes 13 Sep 2010

Agree with SweetPenny.

If both people are asking questions about each other then there may be mutual interest. Just need to find something both have in common. If not and only onesided, the interest may be onesided as well. Time to move on.

Guest

Lurker

0 likes 13 Sep 2010

Quote by SweetPenny
If I didn't have good communication with a guy, then I would not go out with him again. Good communication is essential to any relationship.

However, small talk after sex is not a necessity for me. It can be wonderful to simply lay my head on a man's chest while he strokes my hair and we "bask in the afterglow." Or, if we really wear each other out, then it can be nice to just fall asleep together.

Penny Dear

I agree the small talk is not a big deal but sleeping in the arms of one you love certainly is.

But if it is a man that your only connection with is just sharing our bodies then you have done what you came for and what was expect, so it seems to me to be the time return to you normal life.

Bunny12

Active Ink Slinger

0 likes 14 Sep 2010

It's never happened to me. I'm very out going and could talk to a post! LOL Example went on a cruise nightly dinner in the dinning room at a table with three other couples. One couple the husband, an older gentleman, never said a word for two nights so I had to crack this clam! Asked him what he did for a living - an exterminator who lives in Florida. Well I'm a horticulturalist who once got a shipment of tropical plants from Florioda for the plant nursery I was working at that were covered with strange white catapillars. Clam cracked we had a long conversation on entomology and he joined in on all the tables conversations for rest of the cruise.

Bunny12

Bunny Rabbits cute and fuzzy they want to love you but they have razor sharp teeth - don't piss them off!

luscious3loli

Active Ink Slinger

0 likes 17 Sep 2010

If there was a language barrier I wouldn't be with the guy on a date in the first place.

classy

Active Ink Slinger

0 likes 18 Sep 2010

wots the point if no convo , i wouldnt go with them again . but i love lying in hubs arms after sex and talking about wot we liked about our session .

icecreamcandy

Active Ink Slinger

0 likes 18 Sep 2010

Good communication is vital. I would never go out with anyone in the first place if there was no spark…. there has to be some good banter!

flower

Ice cream + Candy = Yummy

Dancing_Doll

Alpha Blonde

0 likes 19 Sep 2010

Quote by javier
If you are having a date with some guy you like, but it looks there's a communication barrier, you want to have some small talk, but the whole thing doesnt flow as it should and there were some uncomfortable silences, and you felt like "cheescakes, what can I say now"...would that make you reconsider the chances of a second date?

Or what about after sex, people are supposed to have small talk after sex, what if he didnt say anything?

Serious communication issues would definitely be a deal-breaker. I'm assuming that unless he was incredibly nervous, that any issues with conversational flow, or lots of awkward dead-air time means that we just aren't connecting and that there's no spark. Even if the guy was really good looking, this would still make me lose interest completely. Who torture yourself with a second date?

As for "small talk" after sex? I don't need it. I wouldn't bother with sex though, if we weren't communicating well on the date. I'd just see it as a prelude to boring, awkward sex, and who wants that?

WellMadeMale

Constant Gardener

0 likes 19 Sep 2010

I once had a pair of enjoyable dates with a hearing impaired woman. I was 45 she was 40. Very attractive and very affectionate.

However I don't know ASL and she really could not hear anything. She claimed she could read my lips and I think she did, but I can't read lips either. Talking at someone you know can't hear you is distracting as you have to face them to say anything. There is no other way to accomplish giving them your thoughts.

The romantic language of luv was pretty good, but communications before and after? I worked it out to writing with pen on pad. And that was a pain in the neck. She would write to me, I'd read and then found myself trying to enunciate better towards her eyeballs. Very discomforting.

The deal breaker came after our second lustful encounter/date...a few days later I received a phone call from her. She used a service where the third party operator would talk to me and type to her, and Rhonda would type her responses to the operator who then would read to me. Repeat, etc...

She wanted to have phone sex.

I felt it was a little early in our relationship to have 3-sum phone sex with a, lol...stranger.

The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.

Christie

Active Ink Slinger

0 likes 20 Sep 2010

Quote by javier

Or what about after sex, people are supposed to have small talk after sex, what if he didnt say anything?

If, after sex, he has nothing to say, that needs to be the last time you have sex with him.

HornyNymph

Active Ink Slinger

0 likes 27 Sep 2010

Quote by SweetPenny
If I didn't have good communication with a guy, then I would not go out with him again. Good communication is essential to any relationship.

However, small talk after sex is not a necessity for me. It can be wonderful to simply lay my head on a man's chest while he strokes my hair and we "bask in the afterglow." Or, if we really wear each other out, then it can be nice to just fall asleep together.

Totally agree!

"I appreciate this whole seduction thing you've got going on here, but let me give you a tip: I'm a sure thing." - Vivian Ward (Julia Roberts) in Pretty Women

Beffer

Rainbow Warrior

0 likes 22 Jan 2020

After sex, it usually only happens with new partners who get apologetic about their perceived performance, and then clam up, hoping I'll reassure them that they did great. So I do, then conversation usually flows better.

Verbal

Gravelly-Voiced Fucker

0 likes 22 Jan 2020

I find the silence after sex kind of peaceful and enjoyable. But I like silence. I like talking too. If I just had sex, I'm gonna be pretty okay with whatever.