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What is Honesty? Options · View
Guest
Posted: Sunday, April 17, 2011 8:46:24 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,758
I don't know about everyone else but lately my inbox has been inundated by people dying to know what I honestly think of them.... or begging me to ask a question that I want honestly answered. To me, it begs the question, what is honesty?

I suppose, once upon a time, honesty was something more complex when you trusted someone enough to remove constructed barriers that might cover your more vulnerable, squishier, organs. So.... truth by revelation of concealment I guess.

Have we degenerated to the point where honesty simply means not lying or being blunt? (I should probably point out that 'not lying' is not the same as 'telling the truth', a loophole I'm sure we all enjoy.)

Ladies and Gentlemen of Lush: your thoughts if you please.
XX
BB
cokeheadbarbie
Posted: Sunday, April 17, 2011 10:15:27 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/4/2010
Posts: 163
Location: In the DJ Booth , United Kingdom
I am thinking they don't want to hear the truth they want the sugared version of it.

When they say "please be honest" that really means en translation "say it in a way that will make me feel better about myself"

Those people who are ok with true honesty and are cool enough to live in reality are the ones that don't ask for it. The people who ask for it are looking to be coddled. binky

xx B.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, April 17, 2011 11:42:52 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,758
cokeheadbarbie wrote:
I am thinking they don't want to hear the truth they want the sugared version of it.

When they say "please be honest" that really means en translation "say it in a way that will make me feel better about myself"

Those people who are ok with true honesty and are cool enough to live in reality are the ones that don't ask for it. The people who ask for it are looking to be coddled. binky

xx B.


Well said, I'm with you. Whistle

d o g
sprite
Posted: Sunday, April 17, 2011 2:29:18 PM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 14,414
Location: My Tower, United States
to me, honesty is opening yourself up, sharing yourself, warts and all. it's not really about always being brutally honest and blunt, but it is about trusting someone enough to let them see past all those walls we all build up inside of us, those layers and layers that protect us. like everyone, i tend to let some people past the first of them, and others see beyond that, but not everyone gets all the way to the center of the kingdom of rachel - that said, i try to be honest in what i share - i am me when i chat or post here - sometimes the 'Me' i want to be, sort of the best bits of me, and i guess you could say there is a dishonesty in not showing some of the other parts, the things we are not proud of or are too shy to show. in that, there are may different degrees of honesty.

sometimes, too, emotional honesty and factual honesty don't always mesh - there's nothing dishonest, btw, in telling someone you care about, who put their heart and soul into that what they did is amazing even if someone else might not appreciate it - i can see how much effort and love has gone into something, how far they've traveled and progressed, how brave what they did is - there is nothing dishonest about that. Honesty of the heart sometimes trumps honesty of the brain.

as far as answering questions, honestly, no. sometimes we need to keep those answer to ourselves. I've never been one to agree to answer something about me honestly before i knew the question or volenteer to answer ANY question. Some things are private and there is nothing dishonest about keeping them to yourself - parts of my i do not feel comfortable with sharing, it's as simple as that and i am sure i am not alone in that.



http://www.lushstories.com/stories/hardcore/west-coast-games-part-one-the-beach.aspx
Guest
Posted: Monday, April 18, 2011 4:46:26 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,758
I think honesty quite often gets confused with truthfulness. Honesty is more of a black and white situation and truthfulness is a question of degrees. For instance, what could be described as somewhat short of ...completely honest....It could only be dishonesty. Yet truth is more just how truthful are you. The acceptability of truth is in the perception of the listener never in the speaker or writer. To be generally true, or usually true is acceptable to most except the most principled of humankind. Yet honesty is sort of clearcut. You either are or your are not. George Washington was reputed to be unable to tell a lie. He told the truth about the Cherry Tree or at least most of the truth. But was he really honest about his motivation. Did he want the Cherries? Did he need the wood? Was he trying to hurt his Father for not buying him a pony? Just how honest was George in actuality?
BicycleBum
Posted: Monday, April 18, 2011 11:27:50 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/1/2010
Posts: 633
Betty-Bea wrote:
I don't know about everyone else but lately my inbox has been inundated by people dying to know what I honestly think of them...


Simply reply "Honestly, I don't."
Guest
Posted: Monday, April 18, 2011 7:11:27 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,758
The honesty in ones words, if the listener can be truthful, can stir one's pathos.

In my opinion, being blunt or being direct is a necessity. If someone calls your honesty, then you must oblige.

Whether or not it is appreciated, you have been truthful to yourself, and most importantly, to your audience.
LadyX
Posted: Wednesday, April 20, 2011 9:53:33 AM

Rank: Artistic Tart

Joined: 9/25/2009
Posts: 4,827
harrylime wrote:
I think honesty quite often gets confused with truthfulness. Honesty is more of a black and white situation and truthfulness is a question of degrees. For instance, what could be described as somewhat short of ...completely honest....It could only be dishonesty. Yet truth is more just how truthful are you. The acceptability of truth is in the perception of the listener never in the speaker or writer. To be generally true, or usually true is acceptable to most except the most principled of humankind. Yet honesty is sort of clearcut. You either are or your are not. George Washington was reputed to be unable to tell a lie. He told the truth about the Cherry Tree or at least most of the truth. But was he really honest about his motivation. Did he want the Cherries? Did he need the wood? Was he trying to hurt his Father for not buying him a pony? Just how honest was George in actuality?


Thanks for that. I agree completely.
MrNudiePants
Posted: Thursday, April 21, 2011 9:01:18 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/10/2009
Posts: 2,140
Location: United States
Quote:
All this machinery making modern music
Can still be open-hearted.
Not so coldly charted, it's really just a question
Of your honesty, yeah, your honesty.

One likes to believe in the freedom of music,
But glittering prizes and endless compromises
Shatter the illusion of integrity.









myself
Posted: Friday, April 22, 2011 9:26:13 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/17/2010
Posts: 966
Location: .showyourdick.org/
Honestly, these dumb emails are irritating.

Torture the data long enough and they will confess to anything.
Magical_felix
Posted: Friday, April 22, 2011 10:08:12 AM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 4,869
Location: California
I think true honesty is a myth. I don't think any of us actually tell anyone to their face exactly what we are thinking about everything. I could be sitting across from someone and they're black roots with fake ass blonde hair may be annoying the shit out of me but I'm not gonna say anything because that person would not like it. I think all of us judge everyone everyday but we never say anything because then every person would hate each other.

I mean have you ever sat with someone on a park bench and just people watched? You can find something negative and funny to say about every single person that walks by. Could you imagine if we all talked to each other with that kind of honesty?



Guest
Posted: Sunday, April 24, 2011 8:45:35 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,758
I think honesty is more than just telling the truth. It goes with being open about who you are, having good morals and ethics, having the courage to be truthful and do the right thing even at times when it may be hardest.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, January 08, 2012 12:09:38 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,758
Honesty is a lie invented by those who don't like others.
hobbhorn
Posted: Monday, January 16, 2012 9:06:08 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/8/2011
Posts: 320
Location: Andrews
Rachel said it well ... my contribution would be to link honesty with integrity rather than with truth... "truth" to me suggests a factual truth whereas honesty is an expression of what you really know or feel or believe -- even if it is not factually correct -- you are not being dishonest. I often qualify statements I make with "in my opinion" or "I perceive" because I don't want my honesty to be mistaken for fact... just in case I'm unintentionally completely full of shit (which has been known to happen).
Buz
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 6:17:02 AM

Rank: The Linebacker

Joined: 3/2/2011
Posts: 5,697
Location: Atlanta, United States
Honesty is raw bleeding rage screamed as loud as possible from the depth of your soul and the entirety of your passion!

ShyVixen
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 11:04:25 AM

Rank: Story Verifier

Joined: 5/2/2009
Posts: 1,393
Location: United States
Honesty is about our perception and our intent
charmbrights
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 11:34:35 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/2/2011
Posts: 192
Location: Tirphil, United Kingdom
Honesty is a quick route to suicide, especially in answer to "Does my bum look big on this?"

News of ALL my novels (and where to get free copies) on charmbrights.webs.com/novels.htm.
1curiouscat
Posted: Wednesday, January 25, 2012 5:42:21 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/25/2011
Posts: 1,144
Location: São Paulo , Brazil
To be 100% honest is impossible. Start with yourself... take a good look in the mirror and see if you are completely honest with yourself... I don´t believe anyone can answer this question with a yes. It could be as simple and superficial as a shitty bubble gum song that you "hate" socially but listen to when you are alone, or a sexual preference / kink that you are too afraid to share (without and avatar on lush). It could be something deep and integral such as your values or religious beliefs... How many "believe" something because they just don´t have energy to question it or don't ´want to deal with the social / familiar dilemma of questioning it.

Honesty is a personal lighthouse. It should be used as a road map for you personal development. A North Star if you will.



Overwhelming Reality

From Across the Room
DLizze
Posted: Wednesday, January 25, 2012 7:43:45 AM

Rank: Story Verifier

Joined: 4/23/2011
Posts: 2,552
charmbrights wrote:
Honesty is a quick route to suicide, especially in answer to "Does my bum look big on this?"

And I can say from experience, "I LIKE big bums" is NOT a good answer. icon_smile

But, as to honesty, I think Sprite had the best answer, because true honesty includes both facts and feelings. And, of course, it is in expressing our feelings that we allow ourselves to be most vulnerable. As to honest answers to personal questions, I have been known to reply, "I would rather not answer that question."

I was talking about this subject with a friend the other night. She was questioning something I had said, and I replied, "I promised I would never lie to you. Inherrent in that is a promise never to lie to myself. I keep that promise." It was a little scarey to tell her that, because it went to the heart of honesty, and when coupled with my previous statements in our conversation, made me open and vulnerable.

"There's only three tempos: slow, medium and fast. When you get between in the cracks, ain't nuthin' happenin'." Ben Webster
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