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Why do men cheat? Options · View
cokeheadbarbie
Posted: Sunday, April 17, 2011 9:41:58 AM

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What is the real reason for it?

Is it because all their best mates do it or is it biological or just to know they can get a hot girl or are they just always horny?

What percent of men do you think cheat?


xx B.
MMonroe
Posted: Sunday, April 17, 2011 10:21:30 AM

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Woman cheat as well you know, i wouldnt say it was something thats just exclusive to men



*Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?*



Guest
Posted: Sunday, April 17, 2011 10:26:55 AM

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I think it is just human nature, I agree it is not the domain of just one sex.
Everone is looking for something new in there lives to keep them young and fresh thinking.
Why do people cheat?
She
Posted: Sunday, April 17, 2011 1:51:55 PM

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As MM said, however lately I get a lot of this: 'My wife is not enough for me'
Go figure
overmykneenow
Posted: Sunday, April 17, 2011 3:38:20 PM

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I try not to reply on "Ask the gals" for one obvious reason - why is this this not under "ask the guys"?



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She
Posted: Sunday, April 17, 2011 3:55:13 PM

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overmykneenow wrote:
I try not to reply on "Ask the gals" for one obvious reason - why is this this not under "ask the guys"?




I think someone needs to get over your knee, *giggles*
cokeheadbarbie
Posted: Sunday, April 17, 2011 4:08:49 PM

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Location: In the DJ Booth , United Kingdom
overmykneenow wrote:
I try not to reply on "Ask the gals" for one obvious reason - why is this this not under "ask the guys"?



Oops! I think I need a spanking! Giggles.

I'm new to the Lush Forum. Men should please respond as well if that's ok with the administration staff on here. Its ok by me. I would like to hear what the boys think of this topic too so really its meant to ask everyone.

xx B.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, April 17, 2011 5:28:52 PM

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There was a study I read about that showed some men were more prone to cheating due to some chemical make up. I think most cheating has to do with insecurity, sometimes availability and sometimes a little bit of both. Quoted this once before, but still rings true:

"A man is as faithful as his options." -- Chris Rock.
Kimasa
Posted: Sunday, April 17, 2011 5:46:21 PM

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I think that...

Men cheat because their sex life doesn't suit their needs.

Women cheat because their love life doesn't suit their needs

My latest story:

http://www.lushstories.com/stories/reluctance/the-school-reunion.aspx
Mistress_of_words
Posted: Monday, April 18, 2011 4:01:21 AM

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Joined: 2/14/2011
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Location: At my keyboard, writing stories for you
Kimasa, I think anyone who cheats does so because some need is not being fulfilled.

Of course the ironic thing with that pattern you've identified there is that it assumes the cheater has stayed in an unsatisfactory relationship. It suggests men will stay in a relationship with unsatisfactory sex for the sake of emotion, while women will stay in an emotionally unfulfilling relationship if the sex is good.

Just saying. :P

overmykneenow
Posted: Monday, April 18, 2011 4:15:54 AM

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cokeheadbarbie wrote:

Oops! I think I need a spanking! Giggles.



Report to my office ;)



Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.

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Scribe
Posted: Monday, April 18, 2011 8:33:53 AM

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Why do some men cheat? 'cause they feel more for the second woman...

Love is my religion and her body is my temple!
WorkAlone
Posted: Monday, April 18, 2011 1:33:03 PM

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Hmmm, I'm going to be a pain in the ass and point out that men are like women in that we're not all exactly the same.

Some women cheat to get more/different sex, an ego stroke, emotional support, attention, love, cash and prizes, whatever, and men aren't so very different. Yes, the median shifts between the sexes but the reasons are as varied for both.

I'm still laughing at a recent study where they took a pretty (read "symmetric") college woman and had her approach men on campus to ask if they'd have sex with her. 100% said "yes"--married, with a gf, or single. They repeated the experiment with a young man approaching women and 0% said "yes". The researchers concluded that men cheat "beacause they can" i.e., that it's simply opportunity. Of course the experiment was stupid since we all knew the answer already. Would have been a shitty day for the guy though, I hear he'll be getting out of the ICU soon, lol (kidding). I disagree. I've had lots of opportunities I haven't taken.

Another study showed that women's preferences for men changes from 'nice guys' (gentle, stable, constant types) most of the time to 'alpha males' (strong, more assertive, more forceful) guys when they're ovulating. The conclusion here was the women want a stable life partner but want to breed with an "alpha". They actually said birth control is screwing all this up since women will often pick a life without really ovulating so when they stop taking bc pills, they discover a primal need for a guy that's the total opposite of their husband. They also said, basically, that it's a bad time in history for "manly men" since most women don't ovulate and so don't want them. Any of the women want to comment on that? lol.
Mistress_of_words
Posted: Monday, April 18, 2011 3:31:32 PM

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In many species the genetic drive in males is to find as many partners as possible, while in the female the drive is to find the best partner.

Not that I'm saying this is the entire story for sentient humans with the ability to think past their instincts, but it could be a factor. Of course both sides of that theory could be an explanation for cheating.

Guest
Posted: Monday, April 18, 2011 4:04:38 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
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My husband has never cheated on me nor have never I cheated on him and never will. We are both free to have sex with whom we want and where we want.

It is just about sex.

Seems we are back to the old distinction between love and sex. Have we not been here time and again?

cokeheadbarbie
Posted: Monday, April 18, 2011 6:04:30 PM

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overmykneenow wrote:
cokeheadbarbie wrote:

Oops! I think I need a spanking! Giggles.



Report to my office ;)



But you still didn't answer the question! Should I put you over MY knee now instead? Giggles.

xx B.
cokeheadbarbie
Posted: Monday, April 18, 2011 6:16:48 PM

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Joined: 11/4/2010
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WorkAlone wrote:

I'm still laughing at a recent study where they took a pretty (read "symmetric") college woman and had her approach men on campus to ask if they'd have sex with her. 100% said "yes"--married, with a gf, or single. They repeated the experiment with a young man approaching women and 0% said "yes". The researchers concluded that men cheat "beacause they can" i.e., that it's simply opportunity. Of course the experiment was stupid since we all knew the answer already. Would have been a shitty day for the guy though, I hear he'll be getting out of the ICU soon, lol (kidding). I disagree. I've had lots of opportunities I haven't taken.


That is not surprising because women are called sluts for having sex with strangers but blokes are cheered on!

What stopped you from taking those opportunities you mention? was it that you were afraid of maybe getting caught or was it that the girls were ugly? I think if a hottie suggest free sex to a guy where there is low possibilite to ever get caught then they will all take it. The only thing to stop them are if the girl is less hot than his girlfriend/wife or if he doesnt believe its really strings-free and that she might be crazy or a cling-on Glenn Close type that will hunt him down and wreck his relationship later. Its not often that a man gets approach by a hot girl on the street for sex unless she is a hooker. Most men will be looking for the cameras or think she is a decoy set up by his wife to try to catch him fucking around! Giggles.

WorkAlone wrote:

Another study showed that women's preferences for men changes from 'nice guys' (gentle, stable, constant types) most of the time to 'alpha males' (strong, more assertive, more forceful) guys when they're ovulating. The conclusion here was the women want a stable life partner but want to breed with an "alpha". They actually said birth control is screwing all this up since women will often pick a life without really ovulating so when they stop taking bc pills, they discover a primal need for a guy that's the total opposite of their husband. They also said, basically, that it's a bad time in history for "manly men" since most women don't ovulate and so don't want them. Any of the women want to comment on that? lol.


I always want the bad boys even when i'm on the pill. The nice guys bore me. Snooze.

xx B.
cokeheadbarbie
Posted: Monday, April 18, 2011 6:26:06 PM

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Location: In the DJ Booth , United Kingdom
WHR43 wrote:
My husband has never cheated on me nor have never I cheated on him and never will. We are both free to have sex with whom we want and where we want.

It is just about sex.

Seems we are back to the old distinction between love and sex. Have we not been here time and again?



I knew a couple in Spain that did that all the time so they they are each free to fuck around whenever they want. but then the guy started fucking this girl quite a lot and liked her better than the wife so he left her. but the new girl was a younger one and also a model. the wife was so sad she said she will never play these games again. its a recipe for bad times. men always go for the younger/hotter upgrade when they can hook it up.

xx B.
WorkAlone
Posted: Tuesday, April 19, 2011 12:24:41 PM

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cokeheadbarbie wrote:
WorkAlone wrote:

I'm still laughing at a recent study where they took a pretty (read "symmetric") college woman and had her approach men on campus to ask if they'd have sex with her. 100% said "yes"--married, with a gf, or single. They repeated the experiment with a young man approaching women and 0% said "yes". The researchers concluded that men cheat "beacause they can" i.e., that it's simply opportunity. Of course the experiment was stupid since we all knew the answer already. Would have been a shitty day for the guy though, I hear he'll be getting out of the ICU soon, lol (kidding). I disagree. I've had lots of opportunities I haven't taken.


That is not surprising because women are called sluts for having sex with strangers but blokes are cheered on!

What stopped you from taking those opportunities you mention? was it that you were afraid of maybe getting caught or was it that the girls were ugly? I think if a hottie suggest free sex to a guy where there is low possibilite to ever get caught then they will all take it. The only thing to stop them are if the girl is less hot than his girlfriend/wife or if he doesnt believe its really strings-free and that she might be crazy or a cling-on Glenn Close type that will hunt him down and wreck his relationship later. Its not often that a man gets approach by a hot girl on the street for sex unless she is a hooker. Most men will be looking for the cameras or think she is a decoy set up by his wife to try to catch him fucking around! Giggles.


Simple answer Barbie: ethics and integrity. I know it's hard to believe sometimes, but some men have them. If I'm in an exclusive relationship, I'm exclusive. Quite simply, I'm a man of my word. To turn the tables, as a woman, you likely get hit on often enough whether you have a bf/gf or not, why don't you take them up on it? Now consider why my answer MUST be different than yours just because I'm a man (unless yours involves plumbing-specific differences like fear of pregnancy or something).
cokeheadbarbie
Posted: Tuesday, April 19, 2011 2:12:44 PM

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WorkAlone wrote:
cokeheadbarbie wrote:
WorkAlone wrote:

I'm still laughing at a recent study where they took a pretty (read "symmetric") college woman and had her approach men on campus to ask if they'd have sex with her. 100% said "yes"--married, with a gf, or single. They repeated the experiment with a young man approaching women and 0% said "yes". The researchers concluded that men cheat "beacause they can" i.e., that it's simply opportunity. Of course the experiment was stupid since we all knew the answer already. Would have been a shitty day for the guy though, I hear he'll be getting out of the ICU soon, lol (kidding). I disagree. I've had lots of opportunities I haven't taken.


That is not surprising because women are called sluts for having sex with strangers but blokes are cheered on!

What stopped you from taking those opportunities you mention? was it that you were afraid of maybe getting caught or was it that the girls were ugly? I think if a hottie suggest free sex to a guy where there is low possibilite to ever get caught then they will all take it. The only thing to stop them are if the girl is less hot than his girlfriend/wife or if he doesnt believe its really strings-free and that she might be crazy or a cling-on Glenn Close type that will hunt him down and wreck his relationship later. Its not often that a man gets approach by a hot girl on the street for sex unless she is a hooker. Most men will be looking for the cameras or think she is a decoy set up by his wife to try to catch him fucking around! Giggles.


Simple answer Barbie: ethics and integrity. I know it's hard to believe sometimes, but some men have them. If I'm in an exclusive relationship, I'm exclusive. Quite simply, I'm a man of my word. To turn the tables, as a woman, you likely get hit on often enough whether you have a bf/gf or not, why don't you take them up on it? Now consider why my answer MUST be different than yours just because I'm a man (unless yours involves plumbing-specific differences like fear of pregnancy or something).


Thats the funny bit is that usually I do take them up on it! Giggles. Life is a pleasure trip for me so if I'm feeling it then I go for it so maybe I am like a bloke that way BUT thats why I don't do comitments because I know I can't handle it. Men always need a woman to take care of them and be the "GF" role but they still need to fuck around and shag everything in site. Most slutty girls that I know just stay free of headaches and relationship and have the fun they want. Guys want to have their cake and eat it too so thats the problem. Its pretty rare to get a guy with ethics these days. I'm all for sex but just don't get why guys think they can have it all and are intitled to it! Like its ok for a guy to have a girl and then cheat but when a woman does it all hell brakes loose. Sort of like the double standard as I see it round my parts.
WellMadeMale
Posted: Tuesday, April 19, 2011 10:18:32 PM

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cokeheadbarbie wrote:
What is the real reason for it?




Because it's there?

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
obscura
Posted: Tuesday, April 19, 2011 11:25:16 PM

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Because we can?

It's forbidden, exciting, scandalous, dangerous, and well, because it's sex.

dan17
Posted: Wednesday, April 20, 2011 4:33:33 AM

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Posts: 283
whether men or women they both do cheating if given a chance however always guys caught than women, but in fact when percentage is involve has equivalent numbers

mrgay
WorkAlone
Posted: Wednesday, April 20, 2011 7:50:15 AM

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cokeheadbarbie wrote:
Thats the funny bit is that usually I do take them up on it! Giggles. Life is a pleasure trip for me so if I'm feeling it then I go for it so maybe I am like a bloke that way BUT thats why I don't do comitments because I know I can't handle it. Men always need a woman to take care of them and be the "GF" role but they still need to fuck around and shag everything in site. Most slutty girls that I know just stay free of headaches and relationship and have the fun they want. Guys want to have their cake and eat it too so thats the problem. Its pretty rare to get a guy with ethics these days. I'm all for sex but just don't get why guys think they can have it all and are intitled to it! Like its ok for a guy to have a girl and then cheat but when a woman does it all hell brakes loose. Sort of like the double standard as I see it round my parts.


Without a committment not to, taking people up on their offers or following through with an offer isn't cheating so that's kind of a red herring. Seems you can't handle commitment and, I read from your post, that you have strayed in the past. It seems you just made my point for me: some men cheat and some women cheat. The reasons vary (yours is more stereootypically "male") but not all men nor all women cheat. I recall some saying about Cokeheadedbarbies living in glass houses or something... 3601

SOAPBOX WARNING

A more complete answer is that women have ample opportunity for sex (maybe not with the guys you want, but the fact remains, having someone shag you isn't exactly a challenge), while, for guys, that's not the case. As a result, I believe women have developed the ability to turn down opportunities, confident there will be more. For men, that's not exactly the case. While I'm not one of them, I think some guys hit on women all the time because, frankly, the odds of getting a "yes" aren't very high so they're playing the odds.

beat_deadhorse
Just to beat the dead horse a bit, there's an analogy to food (yes, I love food so you'll have to bear with me). For (at least some if not all) women, sexual opportunities are a bit like going out for Dim Sum (think 'buffet' for those who don't know what I mean), entrees are offered to you and you can be choosy, taking just the ones that appeal most to you, or just enjoying thinking about/looking at the choices. You develop a sense that there's another opportunity right behind this one which may be better or worse, and the options may not be to your taste but at least you know that you're not going to be forced to starve. For men, it's more like fishing. You can get very hungry, bored, lonely putting your bait out there over and over again and, once a fish bites, it's hard to just throw it back because you worked so hard to hook one and don't know when/if you'll get a bite again. I think this makes it harder for men to turn down opportunities; many simply don't have the ability to say "no"--not a lot of women have likely approached them and it really isn't something that they've had an opportunity to learn.

The parallel is, for those few women who've taken the initiative to hit on guys, most women can't deal with the rejection if that guy does say no--they haven't developed the ability to handle well.

You're young Barbie, you'll learn that we're all people underneath despite the 'roles' we have been cast in. Neither sex can be generalized. Sounds like you might want to find guys who are into open relationships so you can have your freedom and not have any expectation of exclusivity from your bloke. Enjoy your pleasure trip!
MMonroe
Posted: Wednesday, April 20, 2011 8:28:37 AM

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WorkAlone wrote:
They actually said birth control is screwing all this up since women will often pick a life without really ovulating so when they stop taking bc pills, they discover a primal need for a guy that's the total opposite of their husband. They also said, basically, that it's a bad time in history for "manly men" since most women don't ovulate and so don't want them. Any of the women want to comment on that? lol.


Interesting theory but my pill doesnt stop me wanting an alpha male



*Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?*



LadyX
Posted: Wednesday, April 20, 2011 9:02:16 AM

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MMonroe wrote:
WorkAlone wrote:
They actually said birth control is screwing all this up since women will often pick a life without really ovulating so when they stop taking bc pills, they discover a primal need for a guy that's the total opposite of their husband. They also said, basically, that it's a bad time in history for "manly men" since most women don't ovulate and so don't want them. Any of the women want to comment on that? lol.


Interesting theory but my pill doesnt stop me wanting an alpha male



I know plenty of women on birth control, me included, and none crave wimpy beta males.
WorkAlone
Posted: Wednesday, April 20, 2011 10:24:23 AM

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LadyX wrote:
MMonroe wrote:
WorkAlone wrote:
They actually said birth control is screwing all this up since women will often pick a life without really ovulating so when they stop taking bc pills, they discover a primal need for a guy that's the total opposite of their husband. They also said, basically, that it's a bad time in history for "manly men" since most women don't ovulate and so don't want them. Any of the women want to comment on that? lol.


Interesting theory but my pill doesnt stop me wanting an alpha male



I know plenty of women on birth control, me included, and none crave wimpy beta males.


Funny, I didn't say it was MY theory ladies. The theory also didn't say you'd crave beta or gamma males, just that stability/partnership was more important when not ovulaitng but that appearance ("genetic superiority" is what I think they said in their research) is more important at ovulation. The implication is that this is a tendency not an imperative. I can't assess its accuracy since I never ovulate ;) and certainly don't believe anyone is a slave to their hormones, but I have seen enough cycle-based behaviors to not be able to reject it categorically. Their conclusion was really that women cheat more frequently at ovulation than at any other time. If their data's correct, the question becomes "why?"

Maybe this is a better discussion for the Ask the Gals area.

Apologies to Barbie for diverting the discussion.
overmykneenow
Posted: Wednesday, April 20, 2011 11:00:21 AM

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MMonroe wrote:
WorkAlone wrote:
They actually said birth control is screwing all this up since women will often pick a life without really ovulating so when they stop taking bc pills, they discover a primal need for a guy that's the total opposite of their husband. They also said, basically, that it's a bad time in history for "manly men" since most women don't ovulate and so don't want them. Any of the women want to comment on that? lol.


Interesting theory but my pill doesnt stop me wanting an alpha male


The pill doesn't stop you ovulating, it stops the egg attaching itself to the womb. That theory seems spurious at best.

Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.

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swollen
Posted: Wednesday, April 20, 2011 11:36:56 AM

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Men cheat for the same reason as women - excitement and danger.
MindsEye
Posted: Wednesday, April 20, 2011 12:01:17 PM

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Joined: 1/14/2010
Posts: 75
Location: Canada
swollen wrote:
Men cheat for the same reason as women - excitement and danger.


Agree with the first part swollen, but think it has more to do with the personal need to feel desired, an ego refill if you will, cumming and growing at the same time!
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