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Limericks

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On the breast of a barmaid in Sale
Is tattoo'd the price of brown ale
And on her behind,
For the sake of the blind,
Is the same information, in braille!

There was a young girl from Thermopylae
Who dressed so exceedingly slopylae
There was no way of tracing
Which way she was facing
Except by behaving impropylae.

There was a young man of the Lido
Who subdued a ferocious libido
By fasting and prayer
A shirt made of hair
And a girl here and there, same as we do.

There was a young belle of old Natchez
Whose garments were always in patchez
When comment arose
On the state of her clothes
She drawled, “When Ah itchez, Ah scratchez.”

There was a young lady named Gloria
Who was had by Sir Gerald DuMaurier
And another ten men
And Sir Gerald again
And the band from the Waldorf Astoria.

While Titian was mixing Rose Madder
His model lay posed on a ladder
Her position to Titian
Suggested coition
So he climbed up the ladder and 'adder!