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How do you handle not having sex for a long time? Options · View
Espresso
Posted: Wednesday, November 30, 2011 3:17:59 PM

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Real talk! Cheating is talked about a lot and do share that also. But what are other things that has happened to you? Like do you treat them different? Has anything surprising happen that you can trace back to that? You become more jealous? Do you no longer find them attractive after awhile or they become hotter to you??

Do share, please! And thank you in advanced!

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Guest
Posted: Wednesday, November 30, 2011 3:22:25 PM

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Espresso ... why are they not having sex? Meaning: is it for health reasons, away, family crisis, etc.
Espresso
Posted: Wednesday, November 30, 2011 3:31:35 PM

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Good point, Yahtzee! I guess it does matter WHY they are not doing the horizontal mumbo? Mentioning that reason would help also.

I'm asking this question for an important reason. And in the situation I'm thinking of...there is no one, clear answer and both people have their reasons.

Check out my tumblr and follow me: indecentespresso
VanityBaby
Posted: Wednesday, November 30, 2011 3:45:41 PM

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Espresso wrote:
Real talk! Cheating is talked about a lot and do share that also. But what are other things that has happened to you? Like do you treat them different? Has anything surprising happen that you can trace back to that? You become more jealous? Do you no longer find them attractive after awhile or they become hotter to you??

Do share, please! And thank you in advanced!


Sorry guys I got to say as far as not having sex; I have experience with that///////////////I find other ways to enjoy myself and I don't take it out on the other person in my life. The reasons we don't are numerous...........you do what you gotta do to make your life work.

Feel free enough to be who you are !!
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, November 30, 2011 5:21:48 PM

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I can speak of my sexless relationship with my husband. We have had sex once in ten years and married for twenty. He has been on medication for high blood pressure and high cholestrol for almost that long. That is one reason the other is he basically said he loved me but was not in love with me. I still love him but not in love with him. But we have three children to think of and so we are like two roommates in the same house. I know that we each deserve to be happy but right now it's all about the children.
hornyyoungboy
Posted: Wednesday, November 30, 2011 8:34:00 PM

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I usually get more attracted and even hornier than usual (if thats even possible) ;)
Espresso
Posted: Wednesday, November 30, 2011 10:59:32 PM

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Thanks all! Keep the answers coming....
VanityBaby wrote:


Sorry guys I got to say as far as not having sex; I have experience with that///////////////I find other ways to enjoy myself and I don't take it out on the other person in my life. The reasons we don't are numerous...........you do what you gotta do to make your life work.
Hey my friend!

Yes, you have to keep your own fire lit haha!

It's so funny to have more women than guys respond. I hope they aren't scared. I know similar questions have been asked but I just got a unique perspective on it. I want to see the answers I get before I share more.

Check out my tumblr and follow me: indecentespresso
lafayettemister
Posted: Thursday, December 01, 2011 7:52:36 AM

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I don't understand the question? Are you asking why a husband won't sleep with his wife? Why she won't sleep with him? Does that lead to either cheating? Elaborate please.





When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
Espresso
Posted: Thursday, December 01, 2011 12:01:23 PM

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lafayettemister wrote:
I don't understand the question? Are you asking why a husband won't sleep with his wife? Why she won't sleep with him? Does that lead to either cheating? Elaborate please.
What happens to you and the relationship when you go with out sex for awhile?

Sorry, if I wasn't clear before. I hope that helps.

Check out my tumblr and follow me: indecentespresso
ricinatl
Posted: Thursday, December 01, 2011 12:35:23 PM

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Am I wrong or is your question, "How do we handle being denied sex by our s.o. for a long period.
Espresso
Posted: Thursday, December 01, 2011 12:36:56 PM

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ricinatl wrote:
Am I wrong or is your question, "How do we handle being denied sex by our s.o. for a long period.
That's another way to put it, yes.

Check out my tumblr and follow me: indecentespresso
wetpanty
Posted: Thursday, December 01, 2011 1:17:42 PM

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toy !!!! duh !!
ibee
Posted: Thursday, December 01, 2011 2:14:45 PM

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Location: west of the apple, United States
... and i thought Lush & Lushettes would not present such problems for my life. She loves but not in love it seems shes in "like" with me, no interest. Maybe one day I'll get the nerve til then my mind listens & I talk.
ricinatl
Posted: Thursday, December 01, 2011 5:59:37 PM

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Being denied intimacy may cause resentment and a frustration that can send your man looking elsewhere. He may even at one point turn you off in his head so the lack of attention from you will have no effect and at that point he won't care about your feelings at all.
What are you hoping the result will be?
poizenivy
Posted: Thursday, December 01, 2011 9:39:04 PM

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i had to buy rechargable batteries....sigh

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. ~Swami X

Guest
Posted: Thursday, December 01, 2011 9:41:11 PM

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i have fingers and toys, enough said.
poizenivy
Posted: Thursday, December 01, 2011 9:42:12 PM

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holly...you can use my fingers any time!!

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. ~Swami X

Archadia
Posted: Thursday, December 01, 2011 9:59:15 PM

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badly...
realz
Posted: Friday, December 02, 2011 4:51:35 AM

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There is a point at which one starts to wonder, 'what am I "preserving" myself for/? If someone doesn't love you enough to address your needs for intimate contact, but keeps you hanging on and expecting you to be celibate, that is not a healthy situation. Life is short.
Dudealicious
Posted: Friday, December 02, 2011 5:43:20 AM

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I have actually lived out this scenario, I was in a sexless relationship for almost 5 years of my 10 year marriage. I am a very sexual person and started to wonder if it was me that was the cause of the problem. I asked on numerous occasions and was told that it was actually her that had the problem. I tried to be as understanding as I could but over time it became a friendship to me, not a relationship anymore.

Then one day hit, and I had enough of it. I called off the 10 year marriage and have found someone with a sex drive that equals mine....I have never looked back.

If there is no sex in a relationship, wouldn't it be just a friendship?

The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker

seaking621
Posted: Friday, December 02, 2011 7:27:23 AM

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its tough going without but you do get used to it what i miss the most is the way my wife used to look me in the eye and say I LOVE YOU .she died 10 years ago and she a hard act to follown
CuriousUK
Posted: Friday, December 02, 2011 7:41:10 AM

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Sex or making love is for the pleasure of all participants. If my wife doesn't feel like it - I relieve myself when I shower. Don't think I would enjoy sex if she was doing it just because she felt she had to.

Similarly if she felt like it and I didn't she would pleasure herself (usually while she thinks I'm asleep LOL) and that generally makes me feel like it. She isn't daft is she.
Guest
Posted: Friday, December 02, 2011 7:48:48 AM

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Dudealicious wrote:
I have actually lived out this scenario, I was in a sexless relationship for almost 5 years of my 10 year marriage. I am a very sexual person and started to wonder if it was me that was the cause of the problem. I asked on numerous occasions and was told that it was actually her that had the problem. I tried to be as understanding as I could but over time it became a friendship to me, not a relationship anymore.

Then one day hit, and I had enough of it. I called off the 10 year marriage and have found someone with a sex drive that equals mine....I have never looked back.

If there is no sex in a relationship, wouldn't it be just a friendship?


That sounds about right. I think that many marriages/partnerships sadly go this way.
We become accustomed to one another, there's not the same need to impress and show how much we care...

Sad when it happens, for sure... Very sad...
Guest
Posted: Friday, December 02, 2011 7:58:19 AM

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Often you don't handle it. Then you set of on a journey of discovery...occasionally this works out...often not...but there is fun in the act of discovery and many surpises along the way!
lafayettemister
Posted: Friday, December 02, 2011 8:09:28 AM

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Joined: 10/4/2010
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Location: Alabama, United States
Dudealicious wrote:
I have actually lived out this scenario, I was in a sexless relationship for almost 5 years of my 10 year marriage. I am a very sexual person and started to wonder if it was me that was the cause of the problem. I asked on numerous occasions and was told that it was actually her that had the problem. I tried to be as understanding as I could but over time it became a friendship to me, not a relationship anymore.

Then one day hit, and I had enough of it. I called off the 10 year marriage and have found someone with a sex drive that equals mine....I have never looked back.

If there is no sex in a relationship, wouldn't it be just a friendship?


Gotta hand it to the dude. He's pretty much dead on. Don't get the big head about it though! lol

You'll never know what you'll do in a situation like this until you're actually in it.





When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
wetpanty
Posted: Friday, December 02, 2011 8:26:50 AM

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do whatever needs to be done
wetpanty
Posted: Friday, December 02, 2011 8:30:56 AM

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hollyc... me tooo !!!!!
Boombabong
Posted: Friday, December 02, 2011 9:26:06 AM

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I stay in control...and remember where my best friend live...her name? My Hand...lol!!!
Guest
Posted: Friday, December 02, 2011 9:33:00 AM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
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Dudealicious wrote:
I have actually lived out this scenario, I was in a sexless relationship for almost 5 years of my 10 year marriage. I am a very sexual person and started to wonder if it was me that was the cause of the problem. I asked on numerous occasions and was told that it was actually her that had the problem. I tried to be as understanding as I could but over time it became a friendship to me, not a relationship anymore.

Then one day hit, and I had enough of it. I called off the 10 year marriage and have found someone with a sex drive that equals mine....I have never looked back.

If there is no sex in a relationship, wouldn't it be just a friendship?


I am going to rename you, SageDude ... your wisdom is showing!

Very astute .. and completely accurate. Life is shorter than you really know, and it's not a dress rehearsal. I love that you chose to move in a more fulfilling direction. I applaud you.

mwah!
lucky15
Posted: Friday, December 02, 2011 9:34:15 AM

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Location: All Capps, United States
I think in situations where your s.o. may be living far away ie: military etc. than taking matters into your own hands seems to be the only answer. In cases where your in a relationship where the sex has just leesoned or even stopped, I dont hink that will sove it. I think in most situations (other than hormonal or chemical issues) that there is probably something deeper thats causing the dry spell. In order for there not to be resentment or anger, you have to get to the source, not fix the symptom. Usually if that can be resolved, then life will return to normal. If it doesnt't , then a break up would be the answer, but not going off behind anyones back.
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