I wanted to find out your opinions, and get some helpful advice on my 'problem'. I have been having a wonderful time with a gorgeous lady. However, she feels that she doesn't satisfy me, because I don't always orgasm. I get aroused very easily, even a hug can set me off, and I stay erect for over an hour. And I so want to orgasm, but it doesn't happen. I keep reassuring her that I've always had this 'issue' and that what she is doing would normally have most men orgasming like crazy. She gives fantastic oral (and having been to Amsterdam and experienced oral from professionals i know how good she is) and sometimes I'm fit to burst, but it still doesn't happen. Have you experienced this? And if so how did you feel about it?
This has happened to me a few times and it is frustrating, like I wasn't doing something right. However, when I talked to the guy about this, he said that he rarely cums with anyone and that it wasn't anything that I was doing wrong. Well...that still didn't really settle my mind and I was still bothered by it. It wasn't until he started to make me cum so many times and fucked me so hard and so long, I couldn't think clearly...I was so exhausted. Then I didn't really have the ability to think about him anymore.
If he said it isn't a problem, then I have just accepted it as not a problem.
erm...the only time i have any trouble (same for most people) is if im drunk, other than that then theres no stopping me lol. Cant really think of the reason why that would be, the only thing is, are you cut? Cos that can take away some sensitivity and make it harder to cum. (although im cut and its never really bothered me)
This is actually something you should see your doctor about, especially as this isn't just the occassional thing. Erectial dysfunction isn't just being able to get or maintain an errection, it is also the inability to reach orgasm or premature ejaculation. All of these forms of ED are quite common. Don't be embarrassed to seek medical attention.
That being said, no a man doesn't have to climax to enjoy sex or feel satisfied, at least according to my husband. Regardless, it would be in your best interest to talk to your doctor. Good luck!
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. ~Swami X
Honestly, I would also feel lousy if I couldn't bring a man to orgasm. I like to see/feel/hear the pleasure that I give him.
kochankatulipan, you're not the only guy got this issue there. It had happened to me several times, not frequent but it sure happens from time to time.
At first it seems fun because it kind of boost up my ego, allowing me to go on for long time bringing her multi-orgasms. But when we're both physically exhausted it's kind of burden. I really want to come but can not, and I need to explain to her it's not her problem.
We talked about it after it happened a few times. I told her it's not her skill or other things that I can not come, it's me. Maybe I concentrate or stress too much.
Now it still happens, but we're cool with it. She's quite playful so when it happens, I let her play with it a little just fo fun, like measure its length, count the winkles on it...kind of like cuddle game after we have sex, and let it cool down by itself.
It's happened to me a couple times. If its been too long or I'm trying too hard. It seems like we're always in a hurry. Stop for a few minutes and enjoy each other. Have him take over and help out!
I know this is ask the gals, but I'd like to chime in.
It happens to all of us from time to time. I've even had it happen to me while masturbating, usually in the shower. I'm hard, aroused physically and mentally. And working it really good, I mean I DO know what I like! And it feels great. But sometimes I just cannot get the release. My arms will get tired and wear out before my cock will. And it has happened with a woman a couple times, although those tiems it happened after I had already cum once. But no matter what we did, that next orgams just would not come. The whole not-able-to-cum thing has happened 5-10 times in my life. And trust me, it was frustrating for me too. The whole rest of the day I felt like there's was something I needed to finish. lol
If it's happening to you often, then you either need to stop jerking off so much. If you aren't a severely chronic wanker and using up all your juice during solo time, I'd recommend seeing a doctor. It may be nothing at all, but there's no harm in finding out for sure.
When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates My first instinct on reading: "Do Men Need to Climax" was, either someone's having a laugh or it's the daftest question ever posted here on Lush. However, now I understand and it's a psychological problem and far more common than you may think.
Maybe as a child you were chastised for playing with yourself. Maybe due to religion you were ignorantly instructed as to the harm of masturbation or the sex act itself. So many variables but from the onset of your problem you've convinced yourself of the inevitability of not being able to cum. Therapy can and nearly always helps - plus an understanding g/f. Yours, assuming she's unable to satisfy you only makes you more paranoid and the whole thing becomes a very vicious circle. Of course it's more than likely your g/f is totally unaware of the facts. You both need to see an appropriate therapist.
I had this issue with a guy.... every freaking time. I then found out he spent most of his life wanking.... so uh, yeah. Not my fault (phew!), once I banned him from wanking it was all fine.
Otherwise, where I'm not actually a male (shocking to some, I know), I can't really comment much.... is it something one should make an embarrassing doctors trip about? I know not.
yes!!! i want them too !!
I have noticed that at time I have experienced this issue too. However what I discovered it that sex is just as much mental as it is physical. Every person is different, every partner is different.
I once had a partner that when we attempted to "Get back together" after several years. I recalled all her preferences and catered to her. However I was not mentally or physically attracted to her as much anymore. I gave her more orgasms than she could count, her words not mine. But I only got off once after having sex and changing positions for over an hour. I way trying but my head (the one on my shoulders) kept getting in the way.
Prior to that, when I was married, I had to spice things up with dirty talk to get myself off because she wouldn't do much more than just lay there..... sad I know.
Bottomline is work on the mental part, it sounds like the physical part is ok.
Good Luck!
Thanks for all the advice and comments. Those of you who suggested it may be medical could probably be right, as she never fails to get me aroused and, orgasm aside, the sex is amazing. And I do get the feeling that she believes that she is doing something wrong and is not fulfilling my needs. So hopefully, with a little help from the medical profession, I will be able to show her just how fabulous she makes me feel.
