During sex, wife brings up things to whisper on my ear, and I'll pick up the pace, but is this something you actually would want to turn real?
Though I find many times to fantasize about few things but after cumming I think about if it were actually to happen just now and I become full of negative thoughts, I thought that it wouldn't be a good idea to try, unless I'm just away and really out of it.
Well everybody has stuff that they fantasise about but wouldnt want it to actually happen because in reality, stuff is alot more complicated.
For me there are several people i fantasise about but i cant actually sleep with them because i know that they're married, or that they're not interested in me, or that it would turn our relationship complicated etc.
I guess thats one of the good things about fantasies that you can do stuff you couldnt do in real life!
I wrote a story about this... the couple that has a rich fantasy life and indulges in lots of dirty talk but through miscommunication, the guy thinks it's just 'dirty fantasies' whereas the girl thinks he would actually like to carry them out in real life, so she indulges one without telling him until it's too late.
I think it's pretty common, and to be honest, an area where I've had a bit of confusion in the past too.
Just because you're enjoying a shared kink "in the moment" doesn't mean you want to do it in real life. If, during sex, she's talking about how hot it would be to have another guy fucking her at the same time, or she wishes you could see her chained up in a locker-room getting gangbanged and pissed on by pro athletes while she revels in their cum... it doesn't mean she wants to do this in real life. Or maybe she does.
To be honest - some people are comfortable just spinning lurid fantasies of what they "wish" they could do because they know it's just talk. Others don't have fantasies they wouldn't indulge if the right opportunity came up, or if you gave the green-light.
Unfortunately there's no way of knowing which type she is other than by asking... preferably during the afterglow of orgasm while the fantasy is still fresh in your minds. Just ask... 'would you really want to do that in real life"... It's better to know than to keep guessing. If you share a particular kink on a regular basis and it turns you on during sex, she might be inclined to think it would drive you wild with ecstasy if it happened in real life and you don't want her to set up some misguided awkward "birthday surprise" that will end up freaking you out. You probably also don't want to wonder if she's going to be on the lookout to fulfill those fantasies in real life when you're not looking.
Just talk about it... communication is key. She's probably wondering the same things about you.
To push a really dirty fantasy into reality, both people really need to be understanding the dynamics of how it would work and make sure that they're both prepared for the emotional and psychological aftermath. What's hot in fantasy might be too overwhelming to deal with in reality. Lay out the ground rules before attempting any of these things.
In the heat of the moment, I may say a lot of things that turn me on but doesnt necessarily mean I want to do them all. Some of them I do but others may just be very outrageous or taboo fantasies. Does that mean that really deep down I do want them all? Who knows!! But saying them during sex gets me very hot and usually does for my partners too. It adds pleasure to the experience.
I agree that the only way to know for sure is to talk about them afterward while you have them in your mind and you both are still turned on. You may be pleasently surprised that he/she is really into trying some of them. And either way at least you will know.
As with everything, communication is key!
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