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if a exgf sent this how would you respond? Options · View
MissBehave
Posted: Friday, March 16, 2012 2:49:51 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/1/2011
Posts: 1,767
Location: Atlanta
I can't help but think that if this was in the ask the gals section written by an exboyfriend that most of us would be saying how immature that text was and how he needs to get over it already.
Resident
Posted: Friday, March 16, 2012 3:05:50 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/24/2011
Posts: 173
Location: United Kingdom
I wouldn't reply. In fact, it would probably boost my ego and get rid of any
hurt I might have had with the split.

What you said in your text and what you did (text him a long swan song)
contradicted themselves big time. As an outsider, it seems that you were
hurt by the fact that you haven't heard from him. In truth, silence is the
quickest way to show someone that you DON'T care, have moved on,
found someone to occupy your thoughts and time...not texting them.

Are you truly awake?
Guest
Posted: Sunday, March 18, 2012 2:15:27 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,383
a message like that, that person is dying for some contact from you, your best option is to completly ignore it.
tellme001
Posted: Monday, March 19, 2012 5:59:42 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/11/2012
Posts: 126
Location: Pittsburgh area, United States
Big Hugs I'D ask her to pass along a message to him -- GOOD LUCK
Sol_Invictus
Posted: Monday, March 19, 2012 7:02:37 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/3/2010
Posts: 126
Location: Somwhere between Orion and the North Star, United
Why bother replying? You aren't going to make him feel bad. Chalk it up to experience, and move on.
Warlock
Posted: Monday, March 19, 2012 7:15:04 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/24/2012
Posts: 199
Location: Where I need to be right now, United States
suzziecat wrote:
(he emailed me that he lost his phone)
this was my reply:

by the way i really hope you dont think im that stupid. if you had lost your phone for some reason you wouldnt just email me. but whatever. i dont care anymore. i just wanted to know that you were alright but i guess you are. i found someone new and im really happy. not that you care. i was really hoping we could be friends but i guess thats not an option im tired of your childish games. when we were together i always thought you were the best man in the world i was so in love wit you i never realized how you treated me, and i dont care if you think im putting all the blame on you bc alot of it is your fault, i know i wasnt innocent in this but our relationship was way fucked up and a lot of it was you. you can play the victim and you can blame me all you want i dont fucking care anymore. i found a man who loves me no matter what and would NEVER hurt me in a thousand years! i thought you were the one and that youd always be there for me but i was wrong, i was so wrapped up in you i didnt notice the people who really were there, the ones that cared for real. im not gonna sit around and be sad that i lost you ima make the best of this. i actually cant thank you enough bc if it werent for all the pain you put me through i never wouldve realized how great of a man he is. thanks to you i met the love of my life. so i guess i should be nicer bc without your shit i wouldnt have realized how wonderful he is. so uh yeah thanks. im guessing youll never reply to this so uh bye. i hope you find someone who makes you as happy as he makes me :)


There isn't a handbook on ending relationships and each one is as different as the people and circumstances involved.. people who have been hurt in a relationship sometimes need to vent.. I think she was talking as much to herself as she was to him.. and very likely felt he was so disconnected that closure only came with great detail for his consideration.. sounds like she accomplished her goal..
Guest
Posted: Monday, March 19, 2012 7:15:59 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,383
Id say, Oh hey thanks for findng my phone, drop it into the police station with my name on it. Ill go pick it up. The rest of your message seems a bit weird because we broke years ago and you and I fucking hated each other for years. Im married now and however your life has worked out, i hope you are happy. i am and just wished I had not have been such a weak, jealous dickhead when we broke up and you had not have been so fucking cold and arrogant when you cut me out of your life, but im glad you had the foresight to see we were never gonna work. Funny I know for a fact you went off the deep end when we broke up, i think thats becuase of the cold cold way you deal with everyone you have a disagreement with. I played as hard as you did but i never ever got that fucking cold. Oh and i saw your brother the other day, give him a ring he said he hadnt seen you for ages.

I'd say that, I saw the above GF the other day when I was out with my wife. I AM SO GLAD WE BROKE UP all those years ago.

It's like the deep purple song: "I was hurt when I was young...er, by a woman who was cold, she took my name (well thankfully that didnt happen) she took my body and threw away my soul".
iflatlander
Posted: Monday, March 19, 2012 7:31:15 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 1/21/2012
Posts: 12
Location: my bed, United States
my ex who i cought in the shower with another man on our wedding day said something like that to me about the guy who now beats her.......she tryed convincing the community that i was horrable to her and they all looked at her like she was on crack b/c i would do things like bring her dinner at work and stay home with the kids all the time so she could go grind with other men at the dance club......so my reaction when i recieved a letter like that from my ex was tell her she is an idiot.......
Guest
Posted: Monday, March 19, 2012 10:10:21 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,383
"The lady doth protest too much, methinks."...Hamlet
Beta
Posted: Friday, March 23, 2012 3:43:28 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/16/2012
Posts: 156
Location: noneyabidness, United States
well this is now wrapped up. he started texting me all the time and i am with a new guy. he got mad cuz i always got upset when the ex texted me so he told him off and got him out of my life. i will be big enought to admit i did still have feelings then and was just trying to urt him it was stupid and childish but the past is the past what the hell can i do about it now?? nothing!
Magical_felix
Posted: Friday, March 23, 2012 4:31:42 PM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 4,908
Location: California
suzziecat wrote:
(he emailed me that he lost his phone)
this was my reply:

by the way i really hope you dont think im that stupid. if you had lost your phone for some reason you wouldnt just email me. but whatever. i dont care anymore. i just wanted to know that you were alright but i guess you are. i found someone new and im really happy. not that you care. i was really hoping we could be friends but i guess thats not an option im tired of your childish games. when we were together i always thought you were the best man in the world i was so in love wit you i never realized how you treated me, and i dont care if you think im putting all the blame on you bc alot of it is your fault, i know i wasnt innocent in this but our relationship was way fucked up and a lot of it was you. you can play the victim and you can blame me all you want i dont fucking care anymore. i found a man who loves me no matter what and would NEVER hurt me in a thousand years! i thought you were the one and that youd always be there for me but i was wrong, i was so wrapped up in you i didnt notice the people who really were there, the ones that cared for real. im not gonna sit around and be sad that i lost you ima make the best of this. i actually cant thank you enough bc if it werent for all the pain you put me through i never wouldve realized how great of a man he is. thanks to you i met the love of my life. so i guess i should be nicer bc without your shit i wouldnt have realized how wonderful he is. so uh yeah thanks. im guessing youll never reply to this so uh bye. i hope you find someone who makes you as happy as he makes me :)




Disclaimer: I am a bit of a prick if I get hit with something like this.


Capitalize your I's if this is a serious message. Its lazy shit like that that made me not even mad I "lost" my phone.

"i found a man who loves me no matter what and would NEVER hurt me in a thousand years!" <--- he must suck, oh my god LOL. And humans rarey live past 100 years but yeah.

"i actually cant thank you enough bc if it werent for all the pain you put me through i never wouldve realized how great of a man he is" <--You're welcome. Please please please don't fuck it up with him. I'm begging you now. Put that personality in check.

"i hope you find someone who makes you as happy as he makes me" <--- You don't sound all too happy. Just mad that you lost me and this poor guy is going to get the brunt of your anger for a while. This is what I mean by not fucking it up... Please don't fuck it up.

Okay I gotta go do anything else now.

And I am sorry for doing this to you. Just didn't see it working out and I was too chicken to tell you to your face so I acted like I lost my phone so you would eventually dump me and spare me the awful break up talk that I was cowering out of.

-Jack




crickeydick
Posted: Friday, March 23, 2012 5:51:52 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 1/18/2012
Posts: 11
Location: New Zealand
Good on you Jack for admitting you had guilt over the break up, but I think you have created more turmoil by running and hiding rather than addressing the issue with her direct ally surely she deserved to be treated with some integrity and dignity through the ending of your time together. All I can say is you need to grow some balls and Cagomay you need to stop living the drama and move on......


Personally I would not have responded to the email at all but tried to catch up for a chat if I needed too
Guest
Posted: Friday, March 23, 2012 6:06:17 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,383
crickeydick wrote:
Good on you Jack for admitting you had guilt over the break up, but I think you have created more turmoil by running and hiding rather than addressing the issue with her direct ally surely she deserved to be treated with some integrity and dignity through the ending of your time together. All I can say is you need to grow some balls and Cagomay you need to stop living the drama and move on......


.....ummmm
Magical_felix
Posted: Friday, March 23, 2012 6:25:52 PM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 4,908
Location: California
crickeydick wrote:
Good on you Jack for admitting you had guilt over the break up, but I think you have created more turmoil by running and hiding rather than addressing the issue with her direct ally surely she deserved to be treated with some integrity and dignity through the ending of your time together. All I can say is you need to grow some balls and Cagomay you need to stop living the drama and move on......


Personally I would not have responded to the email at all but tried to catch up for a chat if I needed too


How am I the one creating the turmoil in this scenario (cause I hope you realize I was just answering the thread). If she is the one that sent the message to begin with? She could have got the hint.. I mean you say living the drama and moving on.. SHE sent the dramatic as fuck message.

And maybe you can tell me the right way to dump a girl that doesn't end in them getting hurt, genius. Every way you do it is fucked up. Someone will always be hurt. I don't do the ignoring route by the way but every way you do it sucks.


EDIT: I reread this and realize I misunderstood that you said the OP needs to move on from the drama, my bad.



Guest
Posted: Friday, March 23, 2012 6:30:02 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,383
Meanie Magical_felix wrote:


How am I the one creating the turmoil in this scenario (cause I hope you realize I was just answering the thread).


....I don't think he did..
AngelHeart01
Posted: Saturday, March 24, 2012 10:08:39 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/23/2010
Posts: 3,141
Location: ♥ Southern Style ♥, United States
Magical_felix wrote:


How am I the one creating the turmoil in this scenario (cause I hope you realize I was just answering the thread). If she is the one that sent the message to begin with? She could have got the hint.. I mean you say living the drama and moving on.. SHE sent the dramatic as fuck message.

And maybe you can tell me the right way to dump a girl that doesn't end in them getting hurt, genius. Every way you do it is fucked up. Someone will always be hurt. I don't do the ignoring route by the way but every way you do it sucks.


EDIT: I reread this and realize I misunderstood that you said the OP needs to move on from the drama, my bad.



Because that's how you do ... Mr. Turmoil laughing8
Guest
Posted: Saturday, March 24, 2012 10:51:49 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,383
The best thing to do in this situation is walk out the door and dont dignify poor behavior with any response, just keep moving forward
DLizze
Posted: Sunday, March 25, 2012 9:06:05 AM

Rank: Story Verifier

Joined: 4/23/2011
Posts: 2,552
If I received that message from an ex, I'd simply hit "delete" and move on with my life.

"There's only three tempos: slow, medium and fast. When you get between in the cracks, ain't nuthin' happenin'." Ben Webster
WickedShads
Posted: Tuesday, March 27, 2012 12:48:20 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/26/2009
Posts: 1,195
Location: Pennsylvania, United States
I would not respond, other than possibly to stop by the local courthouse for a restraining order. I don't know about you, but my phone has a nice feature called "delete contact"

"I can resist everything except temptation." - Oscar Wilde
_mal_
Posted: Sunday, April 08, 2012 7:18:34 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/27/2010
Posts: 191
Location: Somewhere, United States
I've had something kinda similar happen, but the person was serious. Shades of reality.

But, if I got that message? I'd tell her to eff off and forget she existed.

But I'm a self-respecting gent. A person with no ego or an axe to grind might crawl back or bait you into a fight.
Guest
Posted: Monday, April 16, 2012 8:55:02 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,383
I wouldn't respond and cut all contact. You are clearly not over it.
Orallee69
Posted: Tuesday, April 17, 2012 2:36:10 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 6/18/2011
Posts: 88
Life goes on; turn the page and test the waters out there.....
ramrod32784
Posted: Wednesday, August 15, 2012 9:56:03 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/29/2012
Posts: 558
Location: Fl, United States
goodbye good riddance and don't let the door hit you in the ass
Ben_C
Posted: Tuesday, August 21, 2012 11:26:12 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 8/19/2012
Posts: 44
Location: United Kingdom
suzziecat wrote:
(he emailed me that he lost his phone)
this was my reply:

by the way i really hope you dont think im that stupid. if you had lost your phone for some reason you wouldnt just email me. but whatever. i dont care anymore. i just wanted to know that you were alright but i guess you are. i found someone new and im really happy. not that you care. i was really hoping we could be friends but i guess thats not an option im tired of your childish games. when we were together i always thought you were the best man in the world i was so in love wit you i never realized how you treated me, and i dont care if you think im putting all the blame on you bc alot of it is your fault, i know i wasnt innocent in this but our relationship was way fucked up and a lot of it was you. you can play the victim and you can blame me all you want i dont fucking care anymore. i found a man who loves me no matter what and would NEVER hurt me in a thousand years! i thought you were the one and that youd always be there for me but i was wrong, i was so wrapped up in you i didnt notice the people who really were there, the ones that cared for real. im not gonna sit around and be sad that i lost you ima make the best of this. i actually cant thank you enough bc if it werent for all the pain you put me through i never wouldve realized how great of a man he is. thanks to you i met the love of my life. so i guess i should be nicer bc without your shit i wouldnt have realized how wonderful he is. so uh yeah thanks. im guessing youll never reply to this so uh bye. i hope you find someone who makes you as happy as he makes me :)


Not sure why you would waste your time even writing that, depending on the truth of the situation I might respond just to have my say on the 'most of it was your fault' parts otherwise i'd prob just say fuck you and delete.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, August 21, 2012 1:39:29 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,383
I say forget the idiot.
anon47
Posted: Wednesday, August 22, 2012 3:25:08 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 8/21/2012
Posts: 33
Location: United Kingdom
If I bothered to answer (I doubt I would) I'd say: 'this email explains why we are no longer together. Goodbye, good luck and die happy!'
1ball
Posted: Wednesday, August 22, 2012 8:27:01 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/13/2011
Posts: 970
Location: United States
I always try to end on a positive note. That way if they commit suicide I can say my last words were, "I hope you have a good life."

My latest story is too hot to publish. My most recent story before that is Even Stranger In Lust
CenterLine
Posted: Thursday, August 23, 2012 12:28:05 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/19/2012
Posts: 541
Location: Cuddling with friends,, United States
I wouldn't.

Even if I could decipher what she said, what I got screams "don't respond!". That seems like an odd thing to share with the world, though. Anyway... I hope you're both happy.
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