i read all three books and loved them..i cant wait until the movie comes out..

Personally I thought they skimped the lifestyle in this book, and it's more a vanilla lovestory about a dysfunctional man than anything else.

- How much does the dominant person really trully enjoys the inflicting pain in others? in the books he really needs to do this.

Ideal D/s relationships are harmonious. They don't work when you have one person who is a sadist, and another who fear masochism. There were a lot of things in this novel that fall under the topic: NEVER DO THIS IN A REAL D/s RELATIONSHIP. Things like forcing it to work if you are a sadist and the other person fears masochism; presenting a relationship contract to a virgin; entering a relationship with a dysfuctional person.

- Is it a normal thing to have a BDSM relationship without feelings involve? In the book he cares about his subs, but he doesnt have any feelings for them.

I seriously doubt it. Only on the professional / public play level. If you are a professional Domina who offers services for pay, then you have this professional aloofness for your clients. The same can be said if you engage in public "red rooms of pain", since you usually don't have a great deal of time to get to know your partner. But Christian Grey saying he had "zero" feelings for his ex-subs only serves to emphasise his dysfunctional psyche.

- Do you think a lot of people enter this lifestyle because of a painfull background and this is the only way to cope with reality?

I don't think there is a yes or no answer to this. I tend towards "no" - not because they have pain. I believe most enter it because they desire a higher intensity of sexual emotion and pleasure than other people do.

- What about the rules? he has some insane rules like never touching him unless ask to, or never seeing him in the eyes, never sleeping in the same bed... are this the normal rules?

There are no "normal" rules. The Dom makes them, the sub either agrees to them or disagrees to them. If the sub disagrees, then the Dom has the option to change them. The rules fit the couple. So what seems insane to you is perfectly acceptable to others. There are slave-subs who are not even allowed to sleep in a bed at all. Others are allowed, but don't want to, because they crave humility.

- Do you live by this rules all the time? i mean you never have a break from them? you never can just talk to the other person like you do in a (i know normal shouldnt be the word i say but is the only one i can think of) normal relationship?

Usually. Some rules are subject to change. Let's not forget that not only the sub has rules to live by, but so does the Dom. Some couples make the rules strict forever; other couples have "normal" lives and use the rules during "play time" (sexual play or contact). It all depends on what the Dom and the sub agree to.

- If you are a dominant and you see this girl or guy you want to take as a sub and that person is really not into the lifestyle do you try a relationship or no?

Well that depends on the person. I know a female person who has a female sub, a male Dom and a male vanilla boyfriend. How in the world she keeps them separated, I will never know, but I can send you a link to her blog.

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Si vos postulo me, sed non vis me, oportet me manere.
Sed si vis me, sed non vos postulo me, oportet me abire.

I attend a "fetish" night event where people who are into the sexual deprived world attend or lets say people who like to be unconventional in the words of Dr. Frankenfurter "Unconventional conventionalists".

(It's light BDSM, they have the rack/a St Andrews cross where people can go to be whipped or spanked in a public setting) there is many Dom/Sub couples that do attend.

Then there is the gimps, the leather lovers, transexuals, costume lovers, lingere wears including corsetso, cosplayers (though they are slowly being introduced) and the ones who wear next to nothing attend. It's mainly a night club with people who are happy to be themsleves without others judging.

I see that someone else has mentioned it on here "Hellfire club".

Anyway on the FB page of Hellfire last month they made a little warning since 50 shades came out there might be some new people coming and to be welcoming to the newbies. I unfortunatly didn't go that particular night because my periods decided to flow heavy that particular night. Curse being a woman.

What can I saw I guess if people went to Hellfire because of the book to witness people getting whipped or paddled first hand I guess it would be a shock.

Though shame to say Hellfire isn't the same as it used to be since some ladies that go complained that they didn't want to see cocks out on display. It is one thing to complain that a guy is touching you without permission.

However to complain that a guy has his cock out and you don't want to see it because it bothers you. Hello you are the one with the G-string on with your butt cheeks hanging out or you have your tits out on display (yes even with the nips showing) it's kind of a double standard.

And yes I'm a chick lol. Just want to say I have seen a middle aged dude with a cock and balls strap at the club once. To see his cock restrained while he had a hard on it was amazing....

Oh wait this was about Fifty Shades of Grey. Haha here I go talking without thinking lol.

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"Sexual pleasure in woman is a kind of magic spell; it demands complete abandon; if words or movements oppose the magic of caresses, the spell is broken."

Simone de Beauvoir

Hee hee, Off topic but I guess your handle is after a certain anime character ;)

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"Sexual pleasure in woman is a kind of magic spell; it demands complete abandon; if words or movements oppose the magic of caresses, the spell is broken."

Simone de Beauvoir

I had no desire to read these books at first but the more I heard about them the more I wanted to see what the fuss was all about.. So, I bought them and began to read them.. I think the BDSM aspect of these books are sick.. It is stupid to say what CG is into is a BDSM lifestyle.. What he is, Is NOT a Dom/Master.. He has issues and is simply broken. Clearly not fixable since it took beating on women to make himself feel better. I do like the concept of the books in away. I don't like how something bad was always going on. Every other page they were in danger and the other page was them having sex. They can make it a bit more real then that. But, I did finish them, and will more then likely watch the movie"s" if they make them.

But to me Fifty Shades of Grey is NOT at all a good example of BDSM.

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