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If your man doesn't satisfy you, would you tell him?

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Rookie Scribe
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If your man doesn't satisfy you, would you tell him? why or why not?
Active Ink Slinger
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Yes. Open communication is a must in a relationship. If I'm not getting satisfied then I'm not happy. The relationship could also be in trouble. It wouldn't be fair for either of us. If i wouldn't tell him, I just might be missing out on his potential of being a really great lover ;).
Lurker
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Quote by Notenough
Yes. Open communication is a must in a relationship. If I'm not getting satisfied then I'm not happy. The relationship could also be in trouble. It wouldn't be fair for either of us. If i wouldn't tell him, I just might be missing out on his potential of being a really great lover ;).


I very much agree with this. As a man, I'd like to know if I'm satisfying my lover and if not, why not? Sometimes a little bit of gentle guidance is needed, after all how will we learn to be better if we're not told? Personally, if I wasn't satisfying my lover, I'd feel bad if she was suffering in silence, so yeah bring on the guidance!
Active Ink Slinger
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first off the name cooterlicker is hilarious..

second my now ex husband and i went thru a time where we had what i dubbed "7 minute sex". and when i gently told him id like a little more he said "well babe if you cant get it done in that amount of time i dont know what to tell ya"

i got up and went to the shower and bought a vibrator the next day. coincidentally it was right around the time i had found lush ;)

Thanks LushStories for making 7 Minute Sex bearable smile
littlemissbitch ~ professional face ripper offer, at your service..
Active Ink Slinger
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This reminds me of the thread about whether or not a man should tell his wife/girlfriend/lover that her pussy isn't tight enough anymore. I wonder if everyone's answers will be consistent between the two threads?



When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
Lurker
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Quote by cooterlicker
If your man doesn't satisfy you, would you tell him? why or why not?


I would only tell him if it was a long term issue and he hadn't spent some time experimenting and getting to know my body and responses. The journey of experimentation and discovery is far more interesting than giving him directions. The odd hint doesn't go a miss but I wouldn't want to deflate his ego by telling him he wasn't satisfying me.

Satisfying me sometimes means I just fancy being given a good seeing to and an orgasm isn't important, other times it is. Quite often it's not until things get going that I know myself what I want so it's not fair to expect the guy to know either.

In the short term I'm focussed on satisfying him before worrying about my own needs
Lurker
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On Lush you have a concentration of people who have a higher than normal sex interest. therefore I would expect that most of our sisters would discuss it with their partner.

The litrature makes it very clear, that women across the globe are much less likely to do so. Kids Money and Sex are to top of the list on relationship failure causes.

Sex being such a basic need why must this be.
Lurker
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Heck yeah I would tell him! Because I know he won't disappoint the next time around ;) hehe
Lurker
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From my experiencewhen your younger it will makes a difference. But date a man over 40 and they seem to be stuck in their ways and want to do it how they want to.

If you have a guy that doesn't make love or foreplay, or going down on you the way you like.... Move on girls and never feel guilty; because when a man kisses and goes down on you, then you'vestruck gold and never question,

"Why doesn't he satisfy me, should I tell him!"
Lurker
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Quote by lafayettemister
This reminds me of the thread about whether or not a man should tell his wife/girlfriend/lover that her pussy isn't tight enough anymore. I wonder if everyone's answers will be consistent between the two threads?


My pussy is always tight! "You can pound your boat into my bay anytime, then rest easy!" smile)))) What a cracking line!

Damn that Paolo Nutini for making me poetic!
Head Nurse
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Quote by littlemissbitch


second my now ex husband and i went thru a time where we had what i dubbed "7 minute sex". and when i gently told him id like a little more he said "well babe if you cant get it done in that amount of time i dont know what to tell ya"

i got up and went to the shower and bought a vibrator the next day. coincidentally it was right around the time i had found lush ;)

Thanks LushStories for making 7 Minute Sex bearable smile


My experience was very similar.

I love the guy in question, but he says "deal with it." I deal by finding other outlets.
Rookie Scribe
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Thanks for the feedback, ladies (and gents). I don't get a chance to get on here to often because of my career. My wife didn't wanna say anything either till it came to a critical mass... I was heartbroken but once she opened up to me I was "Johnny on the spot".
Active Ink Slinger
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You betcha! Let 'em know what you want and like!
Lurker
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I tried to once, he didnt listen
Alpha Blonde
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I would only get into it if I thought we had relationship-potential or I was thinking about him for the long-term. If it was some random fling or fuckbuddy situation, I probably wouldn't be bothered - I'd just move on. Having the ego-shattering convo with a guy about his lacking sexual skills isn't something I relish. If it's a guy that might be a 'keeper' or a guy with real potential, then it's worth it. But if not, I'd rather just take a pass and let the next woman try to fix him.
Lurker
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Obviously, sex is still a pretty big part of any relationship. I would want to make him feel good, and I would expect him to want to do the same. I would try and help him though and show him what really makes me feel good and give him advice if I could. ;)
Advanced Wordsmith
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yes!
great sex = healthy relationship.
if there is something I can do to make the sex better and if that's by telling him what I want more of or less of than so be it.
I'd definitely want him to do the same!
Lurker
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Yes I would you need to talk to each other about that so you can fix the problem before it gets to far out of hand.
Lurker
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Oh yes, I would be open and honest about it. If he/she couldn't tell by my lack of moans or body movement, I would tell them! I am a very open and sexual person, so I would not have a problem making my self be heard. I will be satisfied one way or another. Happens to many times with the same person.... then there is work to be done or a new person to be found.
Lurker
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Yes,how else are you going to fix it if you dont say anything..you need to talk to each other..
Weaver of Words
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I have
Active Ink Slinger
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It's happened, She tells me, and I fix it. No big deal, no problem.
Active Ink Slinger
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this reminds me of a milf i once did some stuff with back to when i didn't even know bout g-spot and such sh*t. Thx to her i'm a proud d**k now.
Trying to sound cool. Too much work left.
Lurker
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Oh Yes, unless he was just a one time catch and release type.
Empress of the Moon
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Of course I would. Unless I never planned to have sex with him again, in which case it wouldn't matter.
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Lurker
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Impossible to believe it would ever happen but yes of course, he needs to know my needs.
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Nope...its just easier to kick him to the curb. Just kidding...of course I'd tell him and then teach him how to do it right.
Active Ink Slinger
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Of course. The best relationships are built on communication. You have to talk to your partner always, whether it is in regards to sex or anything else.
...I thought that maybe a new life, a different life, wouldn’t be so bad. But where the hell did I put the receipt, and could you return something that was over twenty years old? Where do you go to get a new life when your old one has you so puzzled you don’t know how to fix it? Wish I knew.
-Anita Blake (Laurell K. Hamilton)
Advanced Wordsmith
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To those that have tried to no avail... good God, I am so sorry. That sucks. I am of the personal opinion that if he isn't doing it for you and doesn't care about your pleasure, you have every right to get it elsewhere, whatever that may entail.

I don't know how this is not an ongoing dialogue in just about every relationship. How does a couple keep things fresh and interesting if they don't talk about sex and their desires often?