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girls dating older men: it's a lifelong progressive pattern?Or just a temporary thing?

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I mean, the classic teenage girl who dates men in their 20s, (because boys her age are "immature"), when she herself is in her 20s will go for men in their 30s or 40s, and when she will be in her 30s will she go for men in their 40s or 50s, and when she will be in her 40s will she go for men in their 50s or 60s, and so on and on for the rest of her life?

Or is perhaps this "dating an older man"just a phase, a temporary thing young women do in an experimental way, and once they have been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, they progressively stabilize with men their own age?

But this last scenario has it's own paradox. For example, and teen girl who dates men in their 20s, when she herself is in her 20s, would she feel she is "too old" for a man her own age? Or a woman in her 30s will feel she is "too old" for a man in his 30s?

I guess each individual and relationship is different, but in general, what happens with aging women who went in the past for older men?
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My partner is ten years my senior. When I met him I didn't think he was older then me. Maybe I thought mid 20s. I was only 21 when I met him.

Now he is 38 and age is starting to show on his face. I'm 28 but I still look and feel younger then my actual years. I love him for him and not his age. Though it is amusing to hear stories from when he was in his late teens and 20s.
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Quote by Sirene_Jaune
My partner is ten years my senior. When I met him I didn't think he was older then me. Maybe I thought mid 20s. I was only 21 when I met him.

Now he is 38 and age is starting to show on his face. I'm 28 but I still look and feel younger then my actual years. I love him for him and not his age. Though it is amusing to hear stories from when he was in his late teens and 20s.



I sincerely Thank You for validating the aging process. Your man is mighty lucky...I hope he knows it.

Continue to Be Sweet...

Rick
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i like my girls a little older..lol..you must huh sugar..lol

zero cougar here

might go 2-3 years below..but that is it

my sister & bf married below

so...it is a pref...

i love to be taught

ot teach...
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This is a great question. I think there are lots of causes for this "phenomenon", and they are convoluted.

Firstly, in developmental psychology, it is an accepted standard that females develop, maturationally, much more quickly than their male counterparts. Hence, an 18 year old woman would have the maturity, psychoemotively, of a man of 23 or so. This explains the smaller variances in age in dating.

There are certainly women who religiously date men much older than them, and that might be indicative of a lack of father figure, or perhaps motivated by something else. Some women enjoy older men because they seem to appreciate their women more. Some are more financially secure, and know what they want in life. Some consider older men to be more passionate and considerate lovers etc. There are myriad reasons why some women might prefer to date only older men, but it's not unique to women. There are men who will only date (insert adjective here) women. I think this has something to do with their comfort level. It also tends to relate back to their earliest positive sexual experience (at least, this is what we see clinically).

Personally, I have dated both younger and older men. My husband is 20 years older than me. At the time I became friends with him, I'd been dating a world-ranked kickboxing champion who was 7 years younger than me for two years (we didn't break up because of my husband, if anyone thought that). I guess I feel age doesn't factor into it at all, for me at least. My husband is brilliant, compassionate, generous, considerate, funny, and a million other adjectives (all positive). Do I lament the fact that, most likely, I will live longer than him? Absolutely. But any time I get with him is better than decades with someone who is younger but not in tune with, and accepting of, who I really am.

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I'm a loner, Dottie. A Rebel...
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The Linebacker
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The older a man gets the more wealth he usually accumulates. Let's face it some women find that attractive. They desire a man that can meet their financial needs and make them feel secure. A sugardaddy if you will.

I've seen it often. A pudgy balding middle age guy, large nose, beer belly, very expensive suit, sports car, and a gorgeous young twenty-something babe on his arm.
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I only go for older guys purely for the fact that theyre of a similar maturity as me and generally more sexually experienced, as well as wanting to please their woman rather than just themselves.

My ideal age for a guy is my age or above. As soon as i become a year older, guys even a year younger are a no for me. Of course this may change as i get older but for now, any 22 year olds have until next march to woo me!
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I'll be 43 tomorrow and I currently have two live in girlfriends. Kit is 19 and works nights at Hooters. Lisa is 25 now and has been with me on/off for seven years, and is my attorney.

They are both very special to me, and neither are golddiggers simply after my money...not that I have any to speak of. We connect..simple as that. My personal physician is a 61 year old female and I date her as often as I can.

The point is, connecting is more important than the numbers on my birth certificate.

The younger ones are very savy for their ages, and my older ones have no interest in my age. They simply want to feel sexy, vibrant, and viable.

I don't believe in ouija boards, four leaf clovers, tea leaves or tarot cards.

I believe in SNAP. SNAP is the magic that happens when your eyes meet someone of the opposite sex for the first time. BAM! Then if there's any life in her soul, and she has some spirit, then I look to connect. Otherwise, nah.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not that superficial. She doesn't need to be a ten. I have some fours that are stunning...to me.

As I scroll down my friends list here, I have them from 18 to 66. None have ever discussed age with me. It doesn't matter since they know this is all there is or will ever be.

So, to me, that gives credibility to my earlier statement. It's about feeling connected..period.
Sarcastic Coffee Aficionado
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Girls under the age of 30 often date older men.

Women over the age of 50 may find that they date younger men. (is it because as you've said, they bought the tshirt and have moved on .... perhaps so!)

So, in my humble opinion, it's just temporary. Especially when one becomes the age of say, Betty White, are there many, if any, interesting energetic men older than her?

Temporary.
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Quote by assassin
I'll be 43 tomorrow and I currently have two live in girlfriends. Kit is 19 and works nights at Hooters. Lisa is 25 now and has been with me on/off for seven years, and is my attorney.


Assassin if you keep them both, as different as they are, with you long you may develop a multiple personality disorder!!!! LOL
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It's always good to date someone younger.. they can help you lift your walker into the car.. turn the lights out when your clapper battery is dead.. fetch a shawl.. remember things.. uhhh.. what were we talking about?
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Well I like younger, but I like older just as much. Nothing like an older woman, she just seems to turn on more than younger ladies, but for showing off, younger is Ok. Now don't take it wrong older ladies look great and are as firm and tight as a young girl
Well that's just my opinion, sorry if you don't like.

BigDaddyRich
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Doesn't the whole maturity thing fade out rather fast? I'm just guessing, but in my experience with people when you've reached mid 20's you're sort of set at the level of maturity you'll be for the rest of your life. Sure, we'll all change when greater things happen, like you stop school and you start working or if you ever have a kid, but I'd think that once you hit that age you're kinda as mature as you'll be.

Let it be noted that I'm not counting experience in this, simply because I consider that rather individual. There are those younger than me with more life experience and safer financial wise than I am, and there are those older than me who are less experienced and worse off financially than me.
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I think it is a personal, maturity issue. I have dated or been with men of different ages and for me it depends on how they act. I don't care about age. I have meet people that are older than me and would not date them because they act like infants and I have met the opposite, people that act much older than they are. I prefer to be around people that are mature but still know how to have fun. If you can't act like an adult, when you need to, then there is no place for you in my life.

As for the money issue, please, there is little correlation between money and a relationship. If you are looking to 'marry money' then you are not looking for a relationship, just a partnership. I personally like to make my money and not take from others. My husband and I don't even have a joint account, we have our own accounts and live that way by choice.
...I thought that maybe a new life, a different life, wouldn’t be so bad. But where the hell did I put the receipt, and could you return something that was over twenty years old? Where do you go to get a new life when your old one has you so puzzled you don’t know how to fix it? Wish I knew.
-Anita Blake (Laurell K. Hamilton)
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I also feel it is a personal choice and has to do a great deal with maturity. I know from personal experience I prefer older men due to the fact they can relate to me on the same level. I am very mature for my age and have a lot of goals and aspirations in life. Men my age tend to still be trying to figure out the "game of life." I have a good job and plan on going back to school to further my education. I am not going through life for the ride. I don't buy into the I am young so I am going to enjoy it while I can. Life is meant to be enjoyed at all ages. I want a stable person in my life that is there to support me and push me. I don't need a party partner!

As for the idea of sex with an older man. Nothing turns me on more that the idea of being with someone older. They have gotten the need for a quick fix out of the way and seem to be able to focus more on pleasing the female before pleasing themselves. I am not a girl who is all about the quick stuff! It takes time for me and I like it slow and sensual! I like a lot of foreplay and touch! And older men seem to get that! They can last as long as I require and still want more after that. As long as I am satisfied they are happy. A younger guy has never been able to satisfy me or focus long enough on me before focusing on themselves!

Also as for money... money 100% has NOTHING to do with it! I don't need a man to take care of me! I am very independent and can take care of myself. I need a man who is invested in spending quality time with me, who is there to support me and push me, who is ok with just relaxing and staying in for the night. Don't get me wrong I love to have fun and get a little wild but I am much more grounded than most men my age and I cannot tolerate immaturity! I am classy and need a classy man. I am also very old fashioned and older men seem to suit my needs!
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I have since I was a young girl taken a liking to older more experienced men and I have found that when it comes to dating men my own age I often feel bored with the conversation and just cant take an interest in them as a person....a man that can keep up with my sex drive is nice but if they cant keep up a decent conversation, forget it!!
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I think this is really a preference thing. My bf is 6 years younger than me... but he acts more mature than I do. I think its because of all the responsibilities he's had to take care of since he was young. Age never really mattered to me whether the guy was older or younger. All that matters is how he treats me and how well we get along.