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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 327,286
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My question, why are collars so important? After signing my contract my master collared me. I was okay with it at first, believing that I would only have to wear it when I was with him. Then soon realizing that it was not the case. As a new slave I want to make my master happy. But being collared, it makes me feel so degraded and humiliated. It honestly feels more of a punishment than a reward to wear it. I talked to my master about this and he told me that I should do some research on this topic and try to understand why its important and why its an honor to be a collared slave.
Can anyone help shed some light on this? I really do want to make my master happy but without feeling as if its abusing me emotionally.
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Rank: Active Ink Slinger
Joined: 7/7/2011
Posts: 12
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I always ware my Mistress' collar, it makes me feel wanted and reminds me I am loved. I was a little worried when I first wore it, wondering if people would notice it and know what it was, but no one has, or at least they don't comment on it.
My Mistress has written a part on collars on her BDSM 101 thread on here (I can't post links yet, but it is on the second page about half way down)
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Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 8,488
Location: Oz, United States
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ankara1 wrote:I always ware my Mistress' collar, it makes me feel wanted and reminds me I am loved. I was a little worried when I first wore it, wondering if people would notice it and know what it was, but no one has, or at least they don't comment on it.
My Mistress has written a part on collars on her BDSM 101 thread on here (I can't post links yet, but it is on the second page about half way down) here you go :) http://www.lushstories.com/forum/yaf_postst18882p2_BDSM-101.aspx
 Bitches in the Basement on Amazon by our own Dancing Doll
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Rank: Active Ink Slinger
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sprite wrote:
here you go :)
*Cuddles sprite* Yay =^_^=
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Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 8,488
Location: Oz, United States
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ankara1 wrote:
*Cuddles sprite* Yay =^_^=
*hugs* 9 more posts and you can post links, kitty :)
Bitches in the Basement on Amazon by our own Dancing Doll
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 6/24/2012
Posts: 119
Location: Marietta, United States
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I would like to take a moment and thank the people that responded here and helped with SlavePrincess's dilemma with her collar.
As her Master, I am sure people will come back in to read to see what I have said here, and I want to make this clear. Princess, your inability to wear the collar right now is something that stems from things that have taken place over a long period of time.
I am proud to be your Master and collar or not I know your faithfulness to me is something that will never be called into question. We can work through this in a way that will allow you to come to grips with things in a manner over time. Because time is the one thing that I know we have and that heals all things.
If you have read 50 Shades of Gray and think that you are ready to be a dom or a sub. Then you have a lot to learn.
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
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ProfessionalMaster wrote:I would like to take a moment and thank the people that responded here and helped with SlavePrincess's dilemma with her collar.
As her Master, I am sure people will come back in to read to see what I have said here, and I want to make this clear. Princess, your inability to wear the collar right now is something that stems from things that have taken place over a long period of time.
I am proud to be your Master and collar or not I know your faithfulness to me is something that will never be called into question. We can work through this in a way that will allow you to come to grips with things in a manner over time. Because time is the one thing that I know we have and that heals all things. Master, This means a lot to me.. Thank you.. 
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Rank: Lurker
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I think collars mean different things to different people. For me my collar shows that my mistress loves and cares for me and in return I proudly wear her
collar. It also acts like a wedding ring of sorts in that it reminds me of who I belong to and that in turn helps me to remain faithful to her. I also think that a
collar is important b/c it identifies an individual as living the lifestyle.
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Beck wrote:It also acts like a wedding ring of sorts in that it reminds me of who I belong to and that in turn helps me to remain faithful to her. I also think that a
collar is important b/c it identifies an individual as living the lifestyle. I couldn't agree more with what you have had to say. My close friend and I have talked about this at length, but I've never heard anyone else make the comparison before. That is the easiest way for me to explain to you how special and how much of a commitment collaring really is Princess. I see it almost as an "engagement" (remembering that BDSM is in fact a lifestyle), as does my friend - linking slave/sub to their Master/dom, I don't think it's humiliating at all. My Master is planning to collar me and I couldn't be more thrilled about it. <3 I'm not sure he understands fully the symbolic meaning behind it, but even there, it's always been an incredibly special commitment in my eyes.
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SlavePrincess wrote:My question, why are collars so important? After signing my contract my master collared me. I was okay with it at first, believing that I would only have to wear it when I was with him. Then soon realizing that it was not the case. As a new slave I want to make my master happy. But being collared, it makes me feel so degraded and humiliated. It honestly feels more of a punishment than a reward to wear it. I talked to my master about this and he told me that I should do some research on this topic and try to understand why its important and why its an honor to be a collared slave.
Can anyone help shed some light on this? I really do want to make my master happy but without feeling as if its abusing me emotionally. If you feel that being a collar'd submissive is degrading to you, I would suggest you thinking long and hard if this is the lifestyle in which you want to live. Being lucky enough to have a Master to serve, let alone him wanting to collar you as his, to own you in heart, body and soul should be something that you hold dear and close to your heart. It is in NO way degrading. It means that he feels that you deserve the honor of wearing his collar and he is claiming you for the entire world to see as his but more importantly, you know or should know what this means and how special it is and what an amazing honor you are being given. Do not feel ashamed or degraded, be proud and wear it with great honor. If you feel in anyway that you are being emotionally abused then again, please rethink this lifestyle or take a hard look at the relationship you are in. It sounds more like you are just unsure of what it all means. Read and talk to others it will help. As your Master, he should not only be taking care of your physical needs but your emotional ones as well. Being his and pleasing him I am sure is your number one goal, and if this is the case, relish what he is offering you and live everyday to please your Master.
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Ravyn, first of all your words are so true.
I can not express in words the love I have for Princess. The fact is that there is nothing in the world I love more than seeing her in her collar. I understand what her feelings are and because of her uncomfortable feelings we have worked out another arrangement that has her feeling very full.
But all of you are right. Collaring a slave or submissive is all about the level of commitment a Master believes is involved with the relationship. I know in my case there is no higher compliment.
If you have read 50 Shades of Gray and think that you are ready to be a dom or a sub. Then you have a lot to learn.
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Joined: 11/10/2011
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I don't know anything about you two or your relationship but I completely agree with everything people have said. If it is the physical collar around your neck that has you feeling degraded or humiliated, you should try getting a different kind of collar to start out with. I used to have a collar but was unable to wear one around my neck or constantly wear another type of jewelry so I wore an ankle bracelet as my collar. Something different could help you get used to the idea of wearing something for him. It's nice having just a subtle reminder of his love. Depending on your situation you could wear a collar around your neck only when you are with him, or over time work your way up to wearing a traditional collar. Some couples may choose never to have a traditional collar but it sounds like he might like you in it (ke)
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I agree with everything that's been said (and I'm still going to toss my two cents into the conversation).
Collars (in all their many forms and styles) are wonderful as a symbol of love, devotion, trust, faith, possession, submission, domination...(there's more...but I'm sleepy and my brain is a bit fuzzy). I adore my collar, it makes me feel safe and loved. I only wear it when I'm with my Master. All the other time I wear a wrist cuff. It's cool looking and handmade--subtle and less obvious than a traditional collar. Both of these items are utterly sacred to me.
That being said, I understand the feeling of a collar feeling degrading. Traditionally, we as people toss collars on dogs and cats (creatures that we view as less than us.[royal 'we' here, cause damn it I think animinals are utterly wonderful and worthy of respect and honor]) Certain standard neck collars look more like a standard animal collar (some Doms/subs prefer this look), others look like pieces of jewelry, some have bells (mine doesn't but it was a close one :)), and some are simple and relatively standard within the lifestyle.
Perhaps it is the fashion the collar that doesn't sit well with you, or perhaps you are not familiar with the feeling of a collar (I'm not sure it that is the case, just kind of wildly and randomly thinking). As others have suggested, talk with your Master. I've seen your Master's posts in response to what others have said and He strikes me as an open individual who genuinely wants you to be happy in your life with Him. Be honest with Him, but also be willing to try out things. Never know when something will click.
Just remember, the collar (in whatever form) isn't about punishment. It's a circling of the heart and it shows your Master's devotion just as much as it shows your devotion.
....wow...sorry about the rambling meandering post. I do hope it mades sense.
Cheers.
So this is what is feels like to like the idea and act of writing. Awesome!
If interested, check out my stories....especially proud of my new series...
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omg....I love the collar, but be sure as I was collared once and the Master I had at the time was a fake...I would love to be collared by red_dragon...I would wear mine proudly...I am his
doing my best to be good..
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SubTiggy wrote:I agree with everything that's been said (and I'm still going to toss my two cents into the conversation).
Collars (in all their many forms and styles) are wonderful as a symbol of love, devotion, trust, faith, possession, submission, domination...(there's more...but I'm sleepy and my brain is a bit fuzzy). I adore my collar, it makes me feel safe and loved. I only wear it when I'm with my Master. All the other time I wear a wrist cuff. It's cool looking and handmade--subtle and less obvious than a traditional collar. Both of these items are utterly sacred to me.
That being said, I understand the feeling of a collar feeling degrading. Traditionally, we as people toss collars on dogs and cats (creatures that we view as less than us.[royal 'we' here, cause damn it I think animinals are utterly wonderful and worthy of respect and honor]) Certain standard neck collars look more like a standard animal collar (some Doms/subs prefer this look), others look like pieces of jewelry, some have bells (mine doesn't but it was a close one :)), and some are simple and relatively standard within the lifestyle.
Perhaps it is the fashion the collar that doesn't sit well with you, or perhaps you are not familiar with the feeling of a collar (I'm not sure it that is the case, just kind of wildly and randomly thinking). As others have suggested, talk with your Master. I've seen your Master's posts in response to what others have said and He strikes me as an open individual who genuinely wants you to be happy in your life with Him. Be honest with Him, but also be willing to try out things. Never know when something will click.
Just remember, the collar (in whatever form) isn't about punishment. It's a circling of the heart and it shows your Master's devotion just as much as it shows your devotion.
....wow...sorry about the rambling meandering post. I do hope it mades sense.
Cheers. I couldn't have said it better than this. I can say that you should be really proud that your Master chose you to give his collar to, it should be something special to you. Treat it like a wedding band if you want.
Teased and Tormented -My very first story and competition entry is now up!
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