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Orgasms

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MoonlightSerenity
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I'm kinda embarrassed to talk about this but I have a hard time trying to achieve an orgasm. I've never had one in my life and I keep trying to have one but I keep on failing.

During sex I can get worked up but I can never keep going long enough. And I can't seem to get off with some of my toys either (I don't know if this helps any but I'm not allowed to turn them on at the moment as I'm at my mothers - the sound of an ann summers rampant rabbit is like a drill even when used in the shower).

I used to get excited and worked up looking at porn and such but I forced myself to look at it as studying for art at the time because I felt like it was inappropriate for a female such as myself to go looking at things (and the ridicule and that as well). So now whenever I look at sensual images I just see the artistic quality. I don't know why. And it's sorta frustrating knowing this.

Anyone got any suggestions to help?
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freakycactus
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It sounds like you've got to the point where you'll be thinking about this a lot which must make it difficult to relax enough to have an orgasm.

When you've got some time, when you'll be uninterrupted, spend some time relaxing and exploring your body, teasing yourself, maybe leave the toys and just use your fingers. It might take a while, it might take a few attempts, but try it and see what happens.
overmykneenow
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It's easy to say but you have to let go of your frustrations. It's all about enjoying the journey rather than getting to the destination.

THis may not go down well but I'd also suggest spreading your wings (no pun intended) on here to find out more about what you like and what you don't like. I know you have a "master" on here, but if that's not working for you then maybe you should consider exploring other avenues.

Have you tried stimulating your urethal sponge? Slowly stroking it might produce a very different reaction to just clitoral stimulation
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1ball
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I know that you've said viewing porn doesn't do it for you, but if you go through profiles here and see what others have posted on the comments section, there are a great many clips that include motion. If you find one that just gives you even a hint of an urge, leave that on your screen while attempting to get yourself off. Look away, look back, look away, look back,...

Of course, relaxing is important. Maybe a small amount of alcohol or caffeine or chocolate might help. Whatever helps get you in the right physical and mental space. Try to get as many conditions right as possible. The right lighting, sensual aroma, pleasing sounds, pleasing textures on your skin, etc.
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overmykneenow
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Quote by 1ball
Of course, relaxing is important. Maybe a small amount of alcohol or caffeine or chocolate might help. Whatever helps get you in the right physical and mental space.


Sugar, alcohol and/or caffeine WILL NOT help you relax - if anything all it will do is heighten your frustrations and increase your blood pressure. Light/moderate exercise is a much better way of getting relaxed - or maybe just try when you have the luxury of a lie-in one morning.
Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.

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MoonlightSerenity
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Quote by overmykneenow


Sugar, alcohol and/or caffeine WILL NOT help you relax - if anything all it will do is heighten your frustrations and increase your blood pressure. Light/moderate exercise is a much better way of getting relaxed - or maybe just try when you have the luxury of a lie-in one morning.


So that will mean once I move out of here again. Actually... With my disability caffeine does relax me, but I'm not that big a fan.

Thank you to everyone who has given me advice, me shall try them out.
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1ball
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Quote by overmykneenow


Sugar, alcohol and/or caffeine WILL NOT help you relax - if anything all it will do is heighten your frustrations and increase your blood pressure.


That's not true for everyone, for alcohol especially, but even moderate doses of caffeine will help some people achieve a peaceful state, regardless of what happens to their blood pressure. The point is to find where your mind is in the game.
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MoonlightSerenity
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Quote by 1ball


That's not true for everyone, for alcohol especially, but even moderate doses of caffeine will help some people achieve a peaceful state, regardless of what happens to their blood pressure. The point is to find where your mind is in the game.


Okay. Peaceful states for me are few and in between (I really need to chill out more). It can be difficult for me to achieve a peaceful state that often. But I shall try more.
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1ball
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Okay. Peaceful states for me are few and in between (I really need to chill out more). It can be difficult for me to achieve a peaceful state that often. But I shall try more.


Peaceful doesn't necessarily mean calm and serene. It's more like being comfortable with your current environment. Not worried about interruptions, not worried about people hearing your rabbit, not feeling rushed or anxious or disturbed by strife.
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MoonlightSerenity
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Quote by 1ball


Peaceful doesn't necessarily mean calm and serene. It's more like being comfortable with your current environment. Not worried about interruptions, not worried about people hearing your rabbit, not feeling rushed or anxious or disturbed by strife.


So that's never for me here so far. As I never have a time where I'm living right now were I feel comfortable, not even doing coursework at the moment because my mother always ends up getting me to the point of tears very easily. And when I'm at Masters we have the issue sometimes of people hearing us and walking in on us depending on where we are.
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1ball
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Quote by MoonlightSerenity


So that's never for me here so far. As I never have a time where I'm living right now were I feel comfortable, not even doing coursework at the moment because my mother always ends up getting me to the point of tears very easily. And when I'm at Masters we have the issue sometimes of people hearing us and walking in on us depending on where we are.


Wow, that must suck. As in introvert, I have to have "alone time" or I can't function. It's as necessary as air or water, but not as immediate.
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MoonlightSerenity
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Quote by 1ball


Wow, that must suck. As in introvert, I have to have "alone time" or I can't function. It's as necessary as air or water, but not as immediate.


It does, big time. For me I can manage as I've had to deal with this all my life. But when I constantly get shouted at for talking to Master all day and not doing anything else it can get really hurtful for me (When in actual fact I'm doing a lot more than that). I think she thinks I'm doing nothing but sitting on my computer all day (which I need to do for coursework) and so that's why she barges in so much. Also when she's too damn lazy to do things herself and demands that I do them. So I have very little peace from it all.
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Quote by MoonlightSerenity


Also when she's too damn lazy to do things herself and demands that I do them. So I have very little peace from it all.


I feel your pain. I'm 36 years old with two kids of my own but I struggle with the same thing every day. The only reason I moved back in was because I lost my home in my divorce. Once you move out, don't ever EVER move back in with family.
MoonlightSerenity
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I feel your pain. I'm 36 years old with two kids of my own but I struggle with the same thing every day. The only reason I moved back in was because I lost my home in my divorce. Once you move out, don't ever EVER move back in with family.


I have no-where else to go sadly. And what a dick to not give you the home after the divorce despite you having the kids. Sorry, I just think guys like that are dicks.
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1ball
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But when I constantly get shouted at for talking to Master all day and not doing anything else it can get really hurtful for me (When in actual fact I'm doing a lot more than that).


I'm very familiar with emotional abuse and while we all can react differently, I would not be surprised if a lifetime of that is somehow linked to your hopefully temporary dysfunction. If she ever goes away on vacation or otherwise leaves you alone in the house for a day or so, you might get the privacy you need to set the conditions. I've heard of something that might help then. Maybe some other gal could elaborate, but it's done in the bathtub where you run warm water down on your clit. Maybe a shower massager could also do it. Supposedly it's both relaxing and stimulating. I hope you get this bug worked out and your life improves when you finish your coursework.
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MoonlightSerenity
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Quote by 1ball


I'm very familiar with emotional abuse and while we all can react differently, I would not be surprised if a lifetime of that is somehow linked to your hopefully temporary dysfunction. If she ever goes away on vacation or otherwise leaves you alone in the house for a day or so, you might get the privacy you need to set the conditions. I've heard of something that might help then. Maybe some other gal could elaborate, but it's done in the bathtub where you run warm water down on your clit. Maybe a shower massager could also do it. Supposedly it's both relaxing and stimulating. I hope you get this bug worked out and your life improves when you finish your coursework.




Thank you. Master has been trying to help me over some of the issues that has been caused by my past and it's difficult on me mentally, so I think it may help me overall. And if my mother does leave I still have puppies to care for. I was actually thinking of asking Master to allow me to get some toys for in the shower when I have the money to buy them. I hope I can get this sorted out as well.
Teased and Tormented -My very first story and competition entry is now up!