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A new sub that needs help Options · View
oreo_kiss
Posted: Monday, July 30, 2012 1:23:08 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 7/22/2012
Posts: 3
Location: some were , Dominica
Okay to start off i DID NOT READ 50 SHADES OF GRAY, I came to like this way before I knew there was an whole lifestyle but the reason i am here was to ask if i can be better. i am new and i have a master and he said i was doing very good he said but i did fuck up big time another master wanted to play with me just on the web cam and he said he would help me be better for my master. ( ok the stupids thing i have ever done) , and i told my master about it and he was very mad. he made me delete him ever were and it made me cry because i displeased him he forgave me but now i want even talk on privet chats and every thing my master as asked of me i have done with no questions asked. am i the worst sub ever or is there still hope for me?
jerseylynn
Posted: Monday, July 30, 2012 10:25:48 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/10/2009
Posts: 1,391
Location: around and about Hell, United States
Oreo, at some point we have all disappointed somebody. So was it a smart thing that you went to another, nope What i think you failed to understand is once you accept your Master then you need to discuss limits. Things like are you exclusive, is this online or is this part phone/cam and making it more personal. Until you have an understanding of what is expected in some basic ways you will mess up. Now if he had told you, you will not private/play with another then yes you broke a rule and need to be punished for it.


Of course you can be better we all can be better. The key is to discuss your limits and know where you stand with what you can and can not do, what is permitted and what isn't permitted. A true Master will not con you into forgetting you belong to another. That is just wrong and means he was probably a wanna be just wanting you to get his "rocks" off. I have found in this lifestyle people want to help they want to talk about their experiences and even mistakes they have made in their journey to learn.

Read the BDSM forum some very knowledgeable people post there and give their input and ideas, ask questions after your Master has cleared it to talk to others, if that is his wishes. There is so much to learn and not everybody has every single answer. This lifestyle gives a lot of individuality as well as letting you custom build your relationship with your Master. The important thing is you learn from your mistakes and keep constant lines of communication open with your Master as once that trust and communication breaks down, so does the relationship.

No one can make you jealous, angry, vengeful, or greedy -unless you let him.
- Napoleon Hill
Ravyn
Posted: Monday, July 30, 2012 11:48:49 AM

Rank: Cock Connoisseur

Joined: 4/26/2010
Posts: 2,088
Location: Bend, United States
Yes there is hope for you. You are new and learning you are going to make mistakes. The first and foremost key to this type of relationship is communication and honesty. As JL said you must have rules put in play and consequences for those rules if broken. Your Master is there to guide you and help you become better. Its not something that will happen over night. This "other" Master, clearly isn't one if he spoke to you about doing something like that knowing you were already in a M/s relationship.

Use this forum to help you learn and read the BDSM 101 thread it will help as well.

Know you will make mistakes and you will learn from them. Punishments will be handed out and as long as your limits are known and make sure you have a safe word, and don't be afraid to use it. Communication is so important, I can't stress that enough. If you don't have that, the relationship is doomed. Trust and loyalty are something that you need to have in and for your Master. No matter what another tells you, he is your rock, your lifeline, your Master. Always keep that in mind when approached by anyone asking you to break that bond.

Remember, you are your Master's submissive, you are nobody's doormat. Always have respect for yourself. Do not be afraid to tell others who approach you no, and send them to your Master if need be. He is there to protect you and keep you safe as well as teach you to be the best you can be.

Good Luck Oreo and welcome to a wonderful lifestyle. Don't be afraid to reach out to those of us here.



oreo_kiss
Posted: Monday, July 30, 2012 12:23:22 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 7/22/2012
Posts: 3
Location: some were , Dominica
Thank you both and i shall read up more about the lifestyle. I have read alot about it but i still have a long way to go thank you for all of your help
Guest
Posted: Thursday, August 02, 2012 11:28:47 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,741
wow can't add anything more than jersey and ravyn covered the question very well bravo to both .
airdrop
Posted: Monday, November 05, 2012 8:41:17 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 10/22/2012
Posts: 3
oreo_kiss wrote:
Okay to start off i DID NOT READ 50 SHADES OF GRAY, I came to like this way before I knew there was an whole lifestyle but the reason i am here was to ask if i can be better. i am new and i have a master and he said i was doing very good he said but i did fuck up big time another master wanted to play with me just on the web cam and he said he would help me be better for my master. ( ok the stupids thing i have ever done) , and i told my master about it and he was very mad. he made me delete him ever were and it made me cry because i displeased him he forgave me but now i want even talk on privet chats and every thing my master as asked of me i have done with no questions asked. am i the worst sub ever or is there still hope for me?
Look up Gloria Brame and the books she wrote on BDSM, She is a Domme and a Docter to boot :) . She had a web site for discussing BDSM on line to so look that up as well. A great Lady and the people on line are great to.
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