I know my own body very well. While MTF trans, I'm bio-male and it's 99% likely I'm going to stay that way. Just for context, I'm aware of how the procedures work. I mention it because my orgasms while physiologically similar to male orgasms, are psychologically much more female- for example, I have to want to cum, no matter how skilled or intense the physical attention I'm getting is, I won't if I'm not there mentally, and in my experience that's an almost universally female trait. However, keeping my orgasm going, or making it more and less intense is not a challenge on me (or on other guys, despite the differences), but I've (relatively) recently found myself in a long term monogamous with a woman and there are some things I don't understand yet, as most of my prior experience is with men.
It's not a challenge to get her to cum during the encounters she wants me to. That's fine. Got it down, which I'm happy about, but what I don't understand is how to keep it going. I think I'm being too intense after she starts to cum and it's shutting her down (something I've experienced), but I'm not sure what do do once I get her there besides continue what I've been doing up until that point. Should I go back to varying the routine the way I was before she cums?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
Oh, I'm using mostly my hands and tongue in this particular part of the encounter, usually.
Well......I like variety. I am still a virgin, so this advice is coming from masturbation, but I like variety. Every girl is different. Is she a fan of pain? Is she more sexual or sensual? PM me, and I'll try to help (:
Just like every person has a different fingerprint, the same applies sexually. Not every single female has the same sexual preferences. If you take on the task with tunnel vision, your goal will never be achieved. First off, given the fact that you have already hooked up with her- you should have a general idea of what turns her on. Some people like it rough, some people like it kinky, some like it straight NASTY, others like it slow. Catch my drift? Just become better acquainted with her body, and be more in tune with what makes her respond. Don't be too pushy and if it really boils down to it.. Just ask her! Curiosity without communication is a dead end road, I think she will commend you for being bold enough to ask. Which shows that you actually care.
Good luck, Xx
That is useful advice, so thanks.
That said, let me revise my question a little. First, I have asked her, and she wasn't able to give me an answer because she's not a hundred percent sure, or probably even fifty percent. The best we've come up with is that I need to do something different when she starts to cum. I realize that there is not a single answer to this question, and that many answers will be valid and many will be invalid from woman to woman, but if anybody has some more specific advice of things we can try, that would be great.
Thanks a bunch to everybody who's responded so far, though.
Thanks. I didn't imagine anybody would be able to solve the problem directly, totally, or instantly, but any suggestions are helpful, either because they help us to find something that works, or to find something that doesn't. A lot of the problem stems from the fact that over ninety percent of my sex life before this relationship was between me and guys. Guys I know what to do with, despite my own psychological differences, I found dick much more straight forward. I do love the learning, though.
I thought of one more thing which may help spark an idea in somebody's head. I said that getting her to cum isn't a problem, which it's not, and not surprisingly she (like most women) doesn't cum from vaginal intercourse, or at least never has, but I did get her to orgasm a couple of times by going down on her.
Like I mentioned in my last post, I get male genitals much better. I can make a guy cum by going down on him with ease, but I'm still relatively new at performing oral sex on a woman and wonder if there might be advice on that front as well. She did seem to have great orgasms on those couple of occasions and I wonder if there's a correlation due to the difference in texture/pressure. I suspect that may be useful information for anybody who's trying to help. Thanks again.
Two surprising discoveries for me recently, which I will share with you...
I was recently masturbating, using a vibrator against my clit; small, circular motions at the base is the way I tend to do it, rather than using it internally...
I was imagining a particularly intense encounter with that special someone and I came. It was lovely. Now, normally, at that point, I just stop, as I find that my clitoris becomes very sensitive after orgasm. However, this particular time, I imagined him still urging me on, so I continued stroking. It felt a little uncomfortable at first, but I found that I came not just once more, but actually three more times, in quick succession. That had never happened to me before. I guess that it didn't technically extend the orgasm, but I was very happy with the result.
The other experience was when I was with that special someone and he was fucking me, doggy style, and he pushed a finger into my bottom (I've not really had much experience in that area)
I was rubbing my puss at the same time and I don't know if it was the surprise or the stimulation itself, but I came like a fucking train!! Longest and most intense orgasm I've ever had... Very nice!
Hope that helps
I tend to orgasm really intensely and pull way uncontrolably as i reach my climax. I have one FB that holds on tight, not letting up as i thrash about, but motions her tongue fingers and lips even more intently, causing my orgasm to extend and multiply. Try that!{}
I have any number of layer of orgasm from mini to very powerful and down the scale again. At my most powerful I have not the slightest interest in something stronger than that.
Have you discussed with you lady if her Orgasms are all she want or does need something more.
If not why not, she is the starting place.
I know it depends on how somebody is feeling. I'm the same way, I have orgasms that are little more than a chore because I know it's healthy to do so regularly, and some that literally black out my vision, overwhelm my hearing with a dull pulsing sound and cause my whole body to tingle so much I once actually thought I had caught fire. I know that nobody wants to feel that all the time, and this thread did not stem from my feelings of inadequacy, and wouldn't be even if I'd never gotten her to that point just like she has done to me. I just like to be as good at something I do regularly as I can be, and I feel it's my responsibility to keep getting better at it, so I can take her there when she wants to, rather than just when I happen to be doing exceptionally well.
We communicate extremely well, but I sought outside counsel because we have both sort of hit a block lately with regards t how to articulate what it is we're desirous of at any given time. Thanks for all the advice we've gotten so far.
It's just like Tazz said, you need someone who can hold onto you and keep good contact with your clit while your body jerks and spasms in ecstasy. Otherwise, once they lose contact the orgasm starts to fall away very quickly. If the guy or girl is fairly strong and can hold your hips and really keep you steady while they flick your clit with their tongue and do other stuff with their fingers while you cum, then it can go even bigger and will extend on for much longer. I even had one orgasm that just became like two orgasms?? It was like one....and then it went higher and I had like a second even bigger. He was holding my hips down with his body and his mouth was just latched onto my pussy. It was amazing and even though my body was in a total intense spasm, he held me tight and kept playing with my clit. Have any other girls had one that turned into like two?
My first day here... Ihope I'm not jumping in where I don't belong-but; I'm a 53 year old male and I used to have a lover who really knew what she wanted. While I was giving oral sex she would actually tell me what to do. The closer she got to orgasm the more it sounded like she was giving me commands. IE; She would yell - lick it- (use my tongue to like her whole pussy) or suck it - (lightly suck her clit into my mouth much like a tiny little cock). OR she would plead FLICK it - (use my tonge to RAPIDLY flick her clit). OR just lick my clit (slowly but firmly click her clit).
I have remember this and though she is no longer around, it has helped me please my other lovers. So if she can help out by telling you what to do (real time), you learn much faster.
That's decent advice. I say we're good at communication, but not so good when we're actually engaged. We both need to work on our sex voices to not sound so contrived (in her case) or so unenthusiastic (in my case - just the voice mind you). It makes us self-conscious in a way we don't quite know what to do about. Thanks again to everybody who's helped out so far.
Not a gal, obviously, but I agree with the ladies who said Keep it going and hold on (also where bondage can be helpful). Also extending the foreplay, so to speak, can intensify the climax. Once she has come on your tongue, back off just slightly like maybe three-four heartbeats, then begin again lightly licking, but quickly speed up and apply more pressure to the clitoris. Clockwise, counterclockwise, little tongue tip taps, rhythms (like to music), dance that tongue on her. Don't be afraid to improvise instead of the same licking style over and over again, surprise her. She will usually experience a number of "types" of orgasms as well as the major ones.
I've found with my wife and both of our gfs that after getting them to cum from oral, I have to pull back and just let them enjoy it. Once its over and the spasm stops, then I usually switch to internal fingering for a while. At that point they are really juicy from just coming and its the perfect time to deep massage the vaginal walls, which always gets them going again. Once their hips start making that repetitive fucking movement they are getting ready to come again, and I either go down for their clit, or climb aboard for a really good and long fuck, and either way they almost always come again and for a lot longer time. After comming twice its a whole different thing and they become more able to handle longer stretches of clitoral pressure, and they can often come and just keep coming over and over from me just rhythmically pressing down on their clit with my tongue. To make it exciting sometimes I penetrate their pussy with a couple of fingers while doing that, or I slowly insert a finger in their asshole, and that usually gets them to explode on my mouth and sometimes with multiple orgasms in a row. Hope this helps.
Hey everybody. Still checking on this one. Putting the advice to work, and thanks!
i think it's been said many time already and that is that it really depends on your woman but the main ingredient is communication - communicating with her to find out what she likes, how she likes it and not being afraid to tell you, show you etc..
on a side note, personally, my most intense orgasms have always been when i have a full bladder. so intense that i often will see stars after i cum and have come very close to blacking out on a few occassions. again, may not be the case with every woman, but it definitely sends me over the edge. good luck xx
Interesting. I've experienced that as well. Curious, considering the assumed differences in our physiology.
