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How long could you survive after a kicking a bear in the balls Options · View
elitfromnorth
Posted: Tuesday, August 14, 2012 7:52:32 AM

Rank: Brawling Berserker

Joined: 2/12/2012
Posts: 1,588
Location: Burrowed, Norway
http://theoatmeal.com/quiz/bear_balls

Take this test and see how long YOU can survive after kicking a bear in the balls!

Apparantly I would only last 32 seconds. Would be enough time to update my facebook status to "FUCK!"

"It's at that point you realise Lady Luck is actually a hooker, and you're fresh out of cash."
ramrod32784
Posted: Tuesday, August 14, 2012 8:37:02 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/29/2012
Posts: 558
Location: Fl, United States
44 seconds.I'll finish the facebook posting for you
Dudealicious
Posted: Tuesday, August 14, 2012 8:46:05 AM

Rank: Wise Ass

Joined: 11/12/2010
Posts: 5,336
Location: The center of the universe, Canada
Reminds me of this........





The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker

MoonlightSerenity
Posted: Tuesday, August 14, 2012 8:49:09 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/7/2012
Posts: 853
Location: United Kingdom
37 seconds for me here.....

Teased and Tormented -My very first story and competition entry is now up!
sprite
Posted: Tuesday, August 14, 2012 8:54:41 AM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 13,595
Location: My Tower, United States
20 seconds... then again, i would never kick a bear in the balls. :)
naughtynurse
Posted: Tuesday, August 14, 2012 10:10:41 AM

Rank: Head Nurse

Joined: 4/15/2011
Posts: 6,431
Location: Soaking up the sun, United States
49 secs! That's long enough to 'like' that status :)



A special thank you to all who read and voted on my competition Quickie, a Recomended Read: Something Borrowed
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, August 14, 2012 1:36:27 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,130
47 seconds, supposedly. I don't think I'll be kicking any bears balls, I'm too much of a pussy for that.
Shylass
Posted: Tuesday, August 14, 2012 7:49:16 PM

Rank: Gingerbread Lover

Joined: 1/6/2012
Posts: 3,591
Location: Trumpton, United Kingdom
41 seconds, long enough to tell Fred's mum he's messing with me. She'll kick his ass. evil4

Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

***
********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************
madbadpenguin
Posted: Tuesday, August 14, 2012 9:41:44 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/19/2012
Posts: 161
Location: United Kingdom
59 Seconds!

But I have eaten bear meat in Finland, so they know I have tasted their fear!
Saga
Posted: Tuesday, August 14, 2012 10:10:18 PM

Rank: Corporal Turnip

Joined: 6/7/2012
Posts: 4,826
Location: Canada
34 seconds....
madbadpenguin
Posted: Tuesday, August 14, 2012 10:19:52 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/19/2012
Posts: 161
Location: United Kingdom
Its ok Saga, you can hide behind me, we can get you to be the first person over 1 min...
nellieneska
Posted: Tuesday, August 14, 2012 11:58:45 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/21/2011
Posts: 295
Location: United States
:( 33 seconds

If you can't fuck yourself ... who can you fuck?
Saga
Posted: Wednesday, August 15, 2012 8:08:28 PM

Rank: Corporal Turnip

Joined: 6/7/2012
Posts: 4,826
Location: Canada
madbadpenguin wrote:
Its ok Saga, you can hide behind me, we can get you to be the first person over 1 min...


awe what a gentleman!!! Big Hugs
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, August 15, 2012 8:19:25 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,130
48 seconds, not to be the nerdy pain in the ass guy, but seriously, depends on what kind of a bear. Koala bear, it's too cute to be fast. Black bear, eh, might be interesting. Polar or grizzly, I think you'd be dead before you even got to kick it.
Callisto
Posted: Wednesday, August 15, 2012 8:25:26 PM

Rank: Moderator

Joined: 8/23/2010
Posts: 2,676
Location: Forever Damaged , United States
23 seconds for me.. That sucks haha
Frank
Posted: Wednesday, August 15, 2012 9:32:18 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/16/2011
Posts: 9,198
Location: Pleasure dome, United Kingdom
Dudealicious wrote:
Reminds me of this........


lol You beat me to it. A classic! clapping



________________________________________________________________

Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you.
Aldous Huxley

Frank
Posted: Wednesday, August 15, 2012 9:39:20 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/16/2011
Posts: 9,198
Location: Pleasure dome, United Kingdom



________________________________________________________________

Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you.
Aldous Huxley

Naughtygrl73
Posted: Thursday, August 16, 2012 3:37:54 AM

Rank: Story Verifier

Joined: 5/21/2011
Posts: 1,336
Location: The Naughty Mansion, Australia
Damn 33 sec, I so thought I had more ball kicking power than that

TheDevilsWeakness
Posted: Thursday, August 16, 2012 5:42:32 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/19/2011
Posts: 1,265
Location: I'm the girl that your father hoped he could date.
41 secs...
I was surprised... I didn't think I'd stick around long enough to FIND the bear's balls, let alone KICK them!
Fight or Flight reaction? This would be one of those things I'd be taking flight from.

Michael
Posted: Thursday, August 16, 2012 6:28:25 AM

Rank: Author

Joined: 10/22/2011
Posts: 2,005
Location: Expat in, Russia
55 Seconds.

But no matter how you stack it... you still die!


LauraLee_sugah
Posted: Thursday, August 16, 2012 6:58:15 AM

Rank: Purveyor of Sweetness

Joined: 9/10/2011
Posts: 2,324
Location: the sweet, sunny south, United States
i am not taking any test because i am too darned smart to kick a bear in the balls to start with.... sheesh.....

sometimes i have to watch....

read my masturbation story, Isla
Guest
Posted: Thursday, August 16, 2012 7:14:45 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,130
LauraLee_sugah wrote:
i am not taking any test because i am too darned smart to kick a bear in the balls to start with.... sheesh.....


How come I never thought of that?
Frank
Posted: Thursday, August 16, 2012 7:56:13 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/16/2011
Posts: 9,198
Location: Pleasure dome, United Kingdom
Would have to be drunk to do it.
Sneak up from behind. However, 59 seconds! Regaeman Man

________________________________________________________________

Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you.
Aldous Huxley

Pixie
Posted: Thursday, August 16, 2012 8:42:12 AM

Rank: Moderator

Joined: 9/27/2007
Posts: 5,790
Location: Never, Never Land, United States
21 seconds. Looks like I will be bear food.

♥ Listen, touch, and look around in the air and on the ground. If you watch all nature's things, you might just see a fairy's wings. ♥
Cami
Posted: Sunday, August 19, 2012 9:02:55 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/3/2012
Posts: 241
Location: Myhouse, Canada
45 seconds

I can't help but to wonder why.
adele
Posted: Monday, August 20, 2012 7:40:19 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/8/2011
Posts: 20,538
Location: if I knew where I was then I would not be here...


Looks like I'd be the first one to die. That should give everyone else a chance to kick and run!

There is no mark of self,
And no mark of others,
No mark of living beings,
And no mark of a life.


-- The Diamond Sutra
buster1959
Posted: Monday, August 20, 2012 8:07:15 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/15/2011
Posts: 113
Location: United States
40 seconds
ErotikWriter
Posted: Sunday, August 26, 2012 11:33:12 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 12/31/2011
Posts: 15
Location: Panama City Florida, United States
Hopefully, long enough to empty the magazine of my weapon into his heart before he could reach me.

You may confuse love and lust.
I'm old enough to know better.
Love is the same thing as lust, only longer.
If someone tells you that love is monogamous,
they don't love you, they want to own you.
storyo
Posted: Monday, August 27, 2012 8:31:43 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 6/12/2012
Posts: 14
Location: United States
Good thing it doesn't mention the species nor size of the bear, but all things being equal before I find myself in a position to have to kick said bear I would first try massaging his balls and quite possibly giving him a blow job if he demanded it. Then I'd wrestle him down and spank him and reprimand him for being in my apartment.
My test results however indicated otherwise at 46 seconds after a healthy dose of lying. :)
nomoremsmi
Posted: Monday, December 03, 2012 9:15:21 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 11/22/2012
Posts: 6
Location: Midland, United States
celtic_29 wrote:
48 seconds, not to be the nerdy pain in the ass guy, but seriously, depends on what kind of a bear. Koala bear, it's too cute to be fast. Black bear, eh, might be interesting. Polar or grizzly, I think you'd be dead before you even got to kick it.



How to tell the if it is a black bear or a grizzly bear. Kick the bear in the nuts and then run to the nearest tree and climb it. If the bear chases you to the tree, climbs the tree and kills you it is a black bear. If the bear chases you to the tree, knocks the tree over and kills you it is a grizzly bear.
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