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Rank: Brawling Berserker
Joined: 2/12/2012
Posts: 1,317
Location: Not on your radar, Norway
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http://theoatmeal.com/quiz/bear_ballsTake this test and see how long YOU can survive after kicking a bear in the balls! Apparantly I would only last 32 seconds. Would be enough time to update my facebook status to "FUCK!"
An entry for the humour competition! I has it!
Now you can read stuff that's like.. all funny and hillarious and amusing!Choking the Blue Snake!!
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 7/29/2012
Posts: 533
Location: Fl, United States
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44 seconds.I'll finish the facebook posting for you
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Rank: Wise Ass
Joined: 11/12/2010
Posts: 4,924
Location: The center of the universe, Canada
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Reminds me of this........
The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker 
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 1/7/2012
Posts: 816
Location: United Kingdom
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37 seconds for me here.....
Teased and Tormented -My very first story and competition entry is now up!
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Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 8,074
Location: Oz, United States
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20 seconds... then again, i would never kick a bear in the balls. :)
 Bitches in the Basement on Amazon by our own Dancing Doll
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Rank: Story Verifier
Joined: 4/15/2011
Posts: 3,809
Location: Gainesville, United States
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49 secs! That's long enough to 'like' that status :)
Who would have guessed that my little tale, the very First one I ever submitted to Lush would be read by so many? It shocks me a little to realize that it has now served over 20,000! Charge NurseThank you so very much to those who have read it!
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 12/6/2009
Posts: 3,557
Location: Hanging around, Glasgow, United Kingdom
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47 seconds, supposedly. I don't think I'll be kicking any bears balls, I'm too much of a pussy for that.
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Rank: Gingerbread Lover
Joined: 1/6/2012
Posts: 3,289
Location: Trumpton, United Kingdom
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41 seconds, long enough to tell Fred's mum he's messing with me. She'll kick his ass. 
Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.
 ***  ********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************
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Rank: Advanced Wordsmith
Joined: 7/19/2012
Posts: 93
Location: United Kingdom
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59 Seconds!
But I have eaten bear meat in Finland, so they know I have tasted their fear!
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Rank: Corporal Turnip
Joined: 6/7/2012
Posts: 3,034
Location: Canada
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Rank: Advanced Wordsmith
Joined: 7/19/2012
Posts: 93
Location: United Kingdom
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Its ok Saga, you can hide behind me, we can get you to be the first person over 1 min...
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 3/21/2011
Posts: 291
Location: United States
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:( 33 seconds
If you can't fuck yourself ... who can you fuck?
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Rank: Corporal Turnip
Joined: 6/7/2012
Posts: 3,034
Location: Canada
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madbadpenguin wrote:Its ok Saga, you can hide behind me, we can get you to be the first person over 1 min... awe what a gentleman!!! 
 http://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-poems/make-my-baby-cum.aspx
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Rank: Rookie Scribe
Joined: 8/15/2012
Posts: 5
Location: United States
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48 seconds, not to be the nerdy pain in the ass guy, but seriously, depends on what kind of a bear. Koala bear, it's too cute to be fast. Black bear, eh, might be interesting. Polar or grizzly, I think you'd be dead before you even got to kick it.
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Rank: Cum Enthusiast
Joined: 8/23/2010
Posts: 2,160
Location: It's a secret, United States
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23 seconds for me.. That sucks haha
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 11/16/2011
Posts: 5,878
Location: United Kingdom
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Dudealicious wrote:Reminds me of this........  You beat me to it. A classic! 
 If you could, would you? Satan 
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 11/16/2011
Posts: 5,878
Location: United Kingdom
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If you could, would you? Satan
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Rank: Story Verifier
Joined: 5/21/2011
Posts: 723
Location: The Naughty Mansion, Australia
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Damn 33 sec, I so thought I had more ball kicking power than that
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 7/19/2011
Posts: 948
Location: I'm the girl that your father hoped he could date.
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41 secs... I was surprised... I didn't think I'd stick around long enough to FIND the bear's balls, let alone KICK them! Fight or Flight reaction? This would be one of those things I'd be taking flight from.
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Rank: Author
Joined: 10/22/2011
Posts: 2,005
Location: Expat in, Russia
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55 Seconds.
But no matter how you stack it... you still die!
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Rank: Purveyor of Sweetness
Joined: 9/10/2011
Posts: 1,989
Location: the sweet, sunny south, United States
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i am not taking any test because i am too darned smart to kick a bear in the balls to start with.... sheesh.....
i am really excited to have two "recommended reads". they are "did you know i love your cock?" and "just fuck me". great titles, huh?
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 12/6/2009
Posts: 3,557
Location: Hanging around, Glasgow, United Kingdom
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LauraLee_sugah wrote:i am not taking any test because i am too darned smart to kick a bear in the balls to start with.... sheesh..... How come I never thought of that?
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 11/16/2011
Posts: 5,878
Location: United Kingdom
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Would have to be drunk to do it. Sneak up from behind. However, 59 seconds! 
If you could, would you? Satan
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Rank: Moderator
Joined: 9/27/2007
Posts: 5,442
Location: Never, Never Land, United States
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21 seconds. Looks like I will be bear food.
♥ Listen, touch, and look around in the air and on the ground. If you watch all nature's things, you might just see a fairy's wings. ♥
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 8/3/2012
Posts: 193
Location: Myhouse, Canada
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45 seconds
I can't help but to wonder why.
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 4/8/2011
Posts: 19,358
Location: if I knew where I was then I would not be here...
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 Looks like I'd be the first one to die. That should give everyone else a chance to kick and run!
There is no mark of self,
And no mark of others,
No mark of living beings,
And no mark of a life.-- The Diamond Sutra
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Rank: Advanced Wordsmith
Joined: 10/15/2011
Posts: 65
Location: United States
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40 seconds
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Rank: Active Ink Slinger
Joined: 12/31/2011
Posts: 15
Location: Panama City Florida, United States
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Hopefully, long enough to empty the magazine of my weapon into his heart before he could reach me.
You may confuse love and lust.
I'm old enough to know better.
Love is the same thing as lust, only longer.
If someone tells you that love is monogamous,
they don't love you, they want to own you.
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Rank: Active Ink Slinger
Joined: 6/12/2012
Posts: 14
Location: United States
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Good thing it doesn't mention the species nor size of the bear, but all things being equal before I find myself in a position to have to kick said bear I would first try massaging his balls and quite possibly giving him a blow job if he demanded it. Then I'd wrestle him down and spank him and reprimand him for being in my apartment.
My test results however indicated otherwise at 46 seconds after a healthy dose of lying. :)
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Rank: Rookie Scribe
Joined: 11/22/2012
Posts: 6
Location: Midland, United States
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celtic_29 wrote:48 seconds, not to be the nerdy pain in the ass guy, but seriously, depends on what kind of a bear. Koala bear, it's too cute to be fast. Black bear, eh, might be interesting. Polar or grizzly, I think you'd be dead before you even got to kick it. How to tell the if it is a black bear or a grizzly bear. Kick the bear in the nuts and then run to the nearest tree and climb it. If the bear chases you to the tree, climbs the tree and kills you it is a black bear. If the bear chases you to the tree, knocks the tree over and kills you it is a grizzly bear.
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