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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 11/13/2011
Posts: 1,024
Location: Canada
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When you first have sex with someone, is it more important to you that your partner is a 'good' lover or that your partner thinks you are a 'good' lover?
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 2/24/2012
Posts: 193
Location: Where it rains sweetness, United States
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being a good lover because if you put effort in to it hopefully your lover will come to meet you
Anything you think is sweet, I'm a little more than that.
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 327,262
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Only by being, can you have.
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 327,262
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Being a good lover is better.
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 8/1/2012
Posts: 106
Location: blackpool, United Kingdom
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you cannot have one without the other
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 6/6/2011
Posts: 693
Location: United States
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Happy12 wrote:Only by being, can you have. Yes!
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul. Judy Garland
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 6/6/2011
Posts: 693
Location: United States
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Happy12 wrote:Only by being, can you have. Absolutely! Perfectly stated.
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul. Judy Garland
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Rank: Advanced Wordsmith
Joined: 4/9/2011
Posts: 79
Location: United Kingdom
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It takes 2 if you are a good lover they will become a good lover
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 327,262
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being submissive i would say being a good lover, my partners needs and desires come first and are most important to me that i fulfill his needs first. in general i think to have a good lover you also need to be a good lover, it comes from that intensity to please each other, those fireworks that explode by having a good lover and by being a good lover
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 327,262
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Happy12 wrote:Only by being, can you have. EXACTLY
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 4/8/2011
Posts: 19,358
Location: if I knew where I was then I would not be here...
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I think being a good lover, because you can also inspire or teach your partner to become one as well.
There is no mark of self,
And no mark of others,
No mark of living beings,
And no mark of a life.
-- The Diamond Sutra
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Rank: Rookie Scribe
Joined: 9/6/2012
Posts: 1
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Being a good lover LEADS TO HAVING A GOOD LOVER!
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 327,262
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Strongat47 wrote:Being a good lover LEADS TO HAVING A GOOD LOVER!
Couldn't have said it better myself!
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 5/18/2012
Posts: 6,683
Location: BabyGirl Island, United States
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being a good lover
"I went into the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life... to put to rout all that was not life; and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived." from Dead Poets Society
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 1/21/2012
Posts: 661
Location: United States
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Being a good lover...
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Rank: Rookie Scribe
Joined: 8/25/2012
Posts: 3
Location: United States
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If you are a good lover, whoever you are with will come up to your standards, making them good as well......
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 3/28/2012
Posts: 4,995
Location: Around, South Africa
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I'm all for being a good lover, BUT, it stands to reason that if you had a good lover, you yourself would rise to thier "level", in time no matter which one is chosen, the end result should be that, you would both be, good lovers.
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 327,262
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Being a good lover cus I love to please and I get off on pleasing my partner. Once her back arches and the toes curl it's time to really go the exxxtra mile ;) I think when you can totally please your partner everything cums into place ;)
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 327,262
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Having a good lover. why would I want to do all the work?
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 327,262
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both
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Rank: Active Ink Slinger
Joined: 8/23/2012
Posts: 31
Location: United States
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Being a good lover of course! It' easy with the right lover.
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 327,262
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 Honestly, I think it is good to have both in a relationship. My husband isn't just a good lover, he is a great lover. I feel as if I am being a good lover me. But that's for him to answer. Lol!
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 9/27/2012
Posts: 156
Location: United States
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To answer Pinkluva, you are the PERFECT lover for me. As to the question at hand: I believe that it's more important to be a good lover. Having a good lover is a great blessing, but it seems selfish if that's all you are looking for and you may not grow sexually. I always try to be the best lover I possibly can be. I do have weak areas but my wife tenderly helps me work through them. (Well, she can be quite rough sometimes, but that works for me too!)  
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 8/7/2009
Posts: 10,591
Location: The Other Side Of The Mirror
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Strongat47 wrote:Being a good lover LEADS TO HAVING A GOOD LOVER!
So True!!!
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 7/24/2012
Posts: 1,076
Location: Central NJ, United States
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Being a good lover comes first. If you don't have a good lover, then I suppose you can always find a new one (if one is so inclined).
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 6/9/2012
Posts: 980
Location: Lawrence, United States
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Being a good lover is the main point of all sex. If I am not good for her, then she will not be good for me. Otherwise, it might as well be hand lotion and tissues.
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 327,262
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Being a good lover is most important to me, i love to please and be pleasing, knowing i am being a good lover is such an amazing turn on 
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Rank: Wise Ass
Joined: 11/12/2010
Posts: 4,931
Location: The center of the universe, Canada
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tinkerkitty wrote:Being a good lover is most important to me, i love to please and be pleasing, knowing i am being a good lover is such an amazing turn on Never mind the fact that they want to come back for more more more! 
The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker 
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Rank: Rookie Scribe
Joined: 1/17/2013
Posts: 1
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being a good lover...i gfet off on pleasing for one thing; for another thing, one can often teach pleasure by being a good example.
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Rank: Advanced Wordsmith
Joined: 1/13/2013
Posts: 50
Location: United States
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I believe it would be more beneficial that the partner be a good lover... To teach what a good lover is all about.
Sex" is as important as eating or drinking and we ought to allow the one appetite to be satisfied with as little restraint or false modesty as the other.
Marquis de Sade
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