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Rank: Rookie Scribe
Joined: 3/21/2012
Posts: 9
Location: United Kingdom
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Don't read into this guys, this isn't from Stacey teehee, It's form one of my lovely young customers who wants some advice - who better to ask than my lovely lusheees? :P
For arguments sake, I'm "Gary", I'm 18 and in my final year of school in the UK. I am insanely interested in this girl; let’s call her "Emily". I left school for a year and came back for 6th form and was re-entered into a year group that was not my own so I hardly knew anyone there. For over a year now Emily and I have been chatting and texting and getting very close.
Emily has been in a relationship with her boyfriend "Iain" for about 2 years now. Now I feel I've known her my whole life and she's exactly what I'm looking for; smart, beautiful, good sense of humour, same views, interested in a serious long-term relationship etc. When her and Iain have arguments she always texts me and tells me and wants me to comfort her to which about 50% of the time I do, but I can’t let myself appear too "comforting" to avoid entering the friend zone.
Last week I had had a few too many drinks and I called her and left some voicemails for her to find. I announced to her (I think) that I was crazy about her and she deserves better than to be treated the way Iain treats her sometimes and that with me she would never get that treatment. The next day she asked me what I said and I told her I didn't (even though I did). [This is where it gets tricky] - see, I know I like her, and she knows I like her, but she doesn't know that I know she knows I like her (still with me?).
Ok so now I have fully announced my feelings for her and I let her take it which way she wanted and stopped talking to her for a few days (not in an arrogant way, but to see her reaction). Then she started asking me what I remembered from that night and was interrogating me about it to find out (I assume) if what I said was true (which absolutely was) but the only way for me to play this (I think) is for me to tell her I didn't know about it.
It's been 10 days now and we're completely talking and texting loads now. She wants to spend more and more time with me and she's shared more private information with me (and so have I to her) and I get the feeling she wants me more involved in her life. I'm getting the impression from this girl that she wants me to be in her life more and more after hearing what I had to say about her. But the thing is there have been many guys before me that have done the same and she's turned down to be with "Iain".
I am a year older than her as she's 17 and she sees me as much more mature than anyone in her own year or her boyfriend's year (Iain is 16 and is in the year below her). She's been with him for over 2 years and he's been to hospital for a stubborn leg injury and they are extremely involved as a couple - I don't know how "far" they've been yet but I know she's not a slut.
Iain has tried to add me on Facebook and Twitter both of which I've denied and not followed back and I've never spoken directly to him (nor do I ever want to) but I get the impression that he wants to talk to me. He's a whole 2 years my junior and he seems like a nice enough guy from the outside but he's treated her badly before.
Last week at a Halloween party she phoned me 5 times and after she got kicked out of the bar was texting me while walking home alone. I texted her until she got all the way home and showed her how much I cared about her and that Iain should have been there to walk her home and make sure she was completely safe - which was when she told me he was annoyed with her and they had had a row.
I'm getting the inference that this girl likes me in a way that she hasn't liked other guys before. Iain, I'm sure, has treated her very well in the past but as soon as he drops the ball is the moment he doesn't deserve a fantastic girl like Emily any more. I have so much more to offer her than him and so much to give.
A bit about myself; I'm 18, I live in the North of England, I have had no previous girlfriends/lovers/dates or anything of the kind. I used to be socially awkward but during the ages of 13-17 I got my confidence back which was then swiftly broken down during my re-enrolment to school.
I am absolutely crazy about this girl and cannot stop thinking about her. It's the kind of feeling that you don’t just want to have sex with her; you want to care for her and be there for her and for her to be a massive part in your life.
Here are my questions:
Should I try to break them up?
Would breaking them up make me a terrible person?
If I should try to, how would I go about it?
Does it sound to you like I'm in the friend zone?
Should I tell her that I remember calling her that night and everything was true that I said?
Thank you so much for anyone who has listened and/or read this far - I'm sure there are many questions like this but there are none that are directly applicable to the nature of my circumstance.
Once again, Thank You - and I look forward to reading the answers.
Cheers you beauts!
xxx
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Rank: Penguin Wrangler
Joined: 12/25/2010
Posts: 1,542
Location: Under Your Bed, United States
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From what I gathered, you shouldn't try to MAKE anything happen. Forcing things will often make them work. What I do think is that maybe you should tell her how you feel. Just lay everything on the table and let her decide. But in my experience, if you can steal her from her guy, a guy could just as easily steal her from you. It may be different in your case because it seems as if she has strong feelings for you as well. But the worst thing you could do is put any type of pressure on her, or it'll just end badly.
"Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You." - Dr. Seuss
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 8/17/2011
Posts: 121
Location: O H - I O , United States
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Stay away.
If she decides to end her relationship with her present BF then the door etc open for you.
Forcing them apart will not insure she will not fall out of lust with you later on.
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 6/8/2010
Posts: 716
Location: United Kingdom
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Dear "Gary", You say you like this girl but you're spending you're hard earned pocket money on seeing a prostitute. How do you think she'd react if she knew what you get up to? (no offence intended, "Stacey") Emily sounds like a nice girl and she seems to have you exactly where she wants you, unfortunately for you, you're trapped in the hell of "I see you as friend". By the sound of it you're not the first either. You don't know Iain, all you know about their relationship you get from her - no matter how sweet she is, she's not going to be giving you an unbiased account of any argument or disagreement they have. Most of the time when she tells you something, she's seeking attention - or support for whatever position she's held in an argument. When you don't give it to her she'll text someone else who will. To be clear - this isn't a bad thing, it's just what some people do. Should I try to break them up?I don't think you're going to - be outright honest with her if you like but you're more likely to be dumped than he is. Would breaking them up make me a terrible person?She'd be the one doing the dumping, it's not like you're forcing her to do it If I should try to, how would I go about it?Just tell her Does it sound to you like I'm in the friend zone?Hell yes. Should I tell her that I remember calling her that night and everything was true that I said?Just tell her. PS nice tits
Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist. Why not read some stories instead
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Rank: Advanced Wordsmith
Joined: 10/15/2009
Posts: 47
Location: loveIsland
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overmykneenow wrote:Dear "Gary",
You say you like this girl but you're spending you're hard earned pocket money on seeing a prostitute. How do you think she'd react if she knew what you get up to? (no offence intended, "Stacey")
Emily sounds like a nice girl and she seems to have you exactly where she wants you, unfortunately for you, you're trapped in the hell of "I see you as friend". By the sound of it you're not the first either.
You don't know Iain, all you know about their relationship you get from her - no matter how sweet she is, she's not going to be giving you an unbiased account of any argument or disagreement they have. Most of the time when she tells you something, she's seeking attention - or support for whatever position she's held in an argument. When you don't give it to her she'll text someone else who will.
To be clear - this isn't a bad thing, it's just what some people do.
Should I try to break them up?
I don't think you're going to - be outright honest with her if you like but you're more likely to be dumped than he is.
Would breaking them up make me a terrible person?
She'd be the one doing the dumping, it's not like you're forcing her to do it
If I should try to, how would I go about it?
Just tell her
Does it sound to you like I'm in the friend zone?
Hell yes.
Should I tell her that I remember calling her that night and everything was true that I said?
Just tell her.
PS nice tits GR8 .... SIR by chance ur a COUNSELOR.........nice deduction....... 
I Beleive IN STYLE not FASHIONBeware DEVIL is here
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Rank: Alpha Blonde
Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 4,349
Location: In your dirty fantasies
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As has already been said, you're in the friend zone and have become the official 'ego-boost guy' that girls like to keep on the sidelines when they want to enjoy the qualities of 'nice guys' while still chasing the bad boys. When her relationship is in the shits, she turns to you for attention and ego-stroking. Every girl has a couple of guys like this on speed-dial, especially when they're in relationships with 'complicated' guys. You're there to listen to her and be supportive. She knows you like her, trust me, she didn't need that late night drunk confession from you to know this. Girls are pretty perceptive. We can tell. We will often ignore it with friend-zone guys until they bring it up, but at the end of the day we know you're hooked, and we know the real reason why. I think you should just let her sort her own relationship out. You've already said that she has a pattern of having guys like you around and despite these prospects, she still wants Iain. Until she doesn't want Iain anymore and has broken up with him, I'd say be her friend but don't get so emotionally invested. If you need hard answers, go ahead and tell her everything you said that night on the phone was true... and then back off a bit. State your case, and then play it cool and let her come to you (if she decides to). If you let yourself become her emotional dumping ground, you start to steadily lose the edge of being a potential romantic or sexual prospect.
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Rank: Brawling Berserker
Joined: 2/12/2012
Posts: 1,329
Location: Not on your radar, Norway
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Like Dancing Doll said:  You're so firmly placed in the friendzone you'd need a bomb to get you out of it. I know where you're coming from, I've been in the same situation myself a couple of times, although luckily with the girl I really fell head over heels for never really did take much interest in me, not even when she was drunk. You need to move on. It's gonna be hard, and it's gonna take a while, but my advice is to move on as best you can. Or at the very least try. What you shouldn't do is force the issue of her breaking up with him. One thing is drunken rambling that happens once or twice, but if you start bringing up when sober how crap he is, odds are she's gonna go on the defensive and just push you away. It's what most people do, so nothing unique about that. You've chased her long enough. If she really wants you at this point you need to make her chase you. Start dating other girls, maybe even ask her for tips on how to pick up other girls, if she has any nice single friends etc. She is using you for her own interest, not necessarily yours. Odds are it will never be the two of you, especially not until she matures and realises what kind of man she wants for a long term solution.
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 10/19/2011
Posts: 737
Location: where bugs die
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never ever do unto others..that you would be PISSED to have done to you....
if someone wants u they let you know...
why do we chase people who dont want us....
ps stay away from Iain..he is a HUGE problem waiting to happen...
move on so many other people in this world WHO dont play games...
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Rank: Active Ink Slinger
Joined: 12/28/2011
Posts: 37
Location: Lubbock, United States
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I fully agree. I've been the boyfriend when a girl fell in love (with a past boyfriend) and I never got over it. jillinjulie wrote:Stay away.
If she decides to end her relationship with her present BF then the door etc open for you.
Forcing them apart will not insure she will not fall out of lust with you later on.
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Rank: Active Ink Slinger
Joined: 8/28/2011
Posts: 27
Location: Exeter, United Kingdom
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did in the past
Love begins with an image; lust with a sensation.
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 10/5/2007
Posts: 1,987
Location: The Tundra, United States
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don't do it, lest you want that to come back on you in a harsh way.
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