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Can we dispense with the labels "MILF" and "Cougar"?

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Advanced Wordsmith
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Is it just me, or do other members here find the terms "MILF" and "Cougar" derrogatory and demeaning?

The acronym MILF for Moms I Love to Fuck originated in the film America Pie as far as I know. So, in its original context it involved an underage male wanting to have sex with one of his friend's mother.

In the meantime this has somehow spiraled out as a general wishy-washy term to encompass all women over the age of 25 who may or may not have children as "second-rate" sexual partner choices. I don't know why women over the age of 30 who enjoy having sex often are somehow portrayed as "desperate", "sex-craved", "nymphos" or "wanton".

What does the world expect? Women who have brought a child into the world are supposed to be thereafter prude?

Doesn't anyone find it strange that the expression "DILF" Dads I Love to Fuck is non-existant?

The same thing goes of the expression "Cougar". Why is there a word for a 40+ year-old woman who has sexual relations with a 20- year-old male, but for the reverse situation, there is no word? No one says "Dirty Old Man" for a 40 year-old man who has a 20 year-old girlfriend. He has to be at least 80 for this to apply. And no one calls him a "wolf" or a "coyote" or a "jackel" or anything like that.

For the story category BDSM, they don't call it "Perverted Sex".

For the story category Gay Male, they don't call it "Faggot Sex".

Hence, I would like to see the story category "MILF Sex" disappear or be re-named. MILF is sexist and derrogatory, especially when there is no "DILF Sex" category.
Si vos postulo me, sed non vis me, oportet me manere.
Sed si vis me, sed non vos postulo me, oportet me abire.
Active Ink Slinger
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I don't agree with your definition of MILF. Indeed it's not always used to describe a mother but when you use it the second part of its definition usually applies, i.e. someone you'd like to fuck. Nothing second-rate about it, it's more a compliment. As a matter of fact there are plenty of guys who actually prefer a MILF over women of their own age for the same reason a lot of girls are interested in older guys, experience. Why there's no term for the female equivalent? Perhaps you gals have to learn to come up with catchy names yourself so something goes mainstream and eventually it can be found in the dictionary as well.

As for cougar you could argue that it's a much nicer term than its male equivalent. I'd take it over pervert any day.
Active Ink Slinger
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Much ado about nothing. Who cares. The use of the terms "MILF" and "Cougar" is number 4,345,789 on the list of things that need to be changed. If that's your biggest worry in life, then you've got a great life.

Lush is a fantasy site. People that read/write MILF stories are fantasizing about what turns them on. Who are we to take away their fantasy or tell them how to label it. Whoever said that MILFs are "desperate", "sex-craved", "nymphos" or "wanton"? Maybe they are maybe they aren't, but so is everyone else.

Also, no one said that a woman has to be a prude after giving birth. Young guys like fucking older women, it's just reality. The term MILF has no designation that moms are unable to get laid. I think you're over thinking it.

In years past, men on the prowl were often referred to as "Wolves".

If you don't like the MILF sex category, don't read it. Some people don't like the Reluctance category, should we do away with it too? There is no DILF category because it's not wanted or needed.



When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
Advanced Wordsmith
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Quote by ChrisX
I'd take it over pervert any day.


So would I, but where I live the words "MILF" and "Cougar" don't exist, and they only consider them perverts if they practice necrophilia, or zoophilia.
Si vos postulo me, sed non vis me, oportet me manere.
Sed si vis me, sed non vos postulo me, oportet me abire.
Advanced Wordsmith
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A rose by any other name... :-) Personally, I like the terms even though I rarely use them. To me the term MILF or cougar could be applied to woman in ways that vary between attractive or derogatory depending on the context. I like to see the positive sides of things and so I lean towards the gentler uses of the terms. Besides, the sentance "Mom I'd like to have a long, loving happy and thrilling sexual relationship with (MILTHALLATSRW) makes for a cumbersome acronym! :-)


I also rely heavilly on a sense of humor to get through difficult days and so the terms tend to lighten things up. For example, American actress Maura Tierney played the role of a nurse who completed medical school and became a doctor in emergency medicine. During one episode, a bratty teenager spoke to his pal (in her presence) calling her a 'milf.' She corrected the boy, "I am a doctor!" and the kid said to his pal, "Oh, a DILF." OK, the kid was a brat but the scene was funny.

The term cougar could have predatory connotations but seriously, if an older woman is attractive to young men, in th elong run that's an affirmation of her attractiveness. Demi Moore had a relationship with Ashton Kutcher that was committed by Hollywood standards. If the two of them could keep each other grinnign for a couple of years more power to them. Do I wish that Demi suddenly became attracted to 65 year old, overweight diabetics? Sure but hey, life's tough. By the way, I love your avitar photo. What a MI__ oh I'd better not say it. The photo is alluring. :-)
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by PhareDuFour


So would I, but where I live the words "MILF" and "Cougar" don't exist, and they only consider them perverts if they practice necrophilia, or zoophilia.


I'm pretty sure that a group of girls would refer to that 40-year-old guy who tried to buy them a drink a pervert or a creep. Either way, back on topic, since there's demand for that category there isn't a reason for it not to be there, like lafayettemister said:
Quote by lafayettemister

If you don't like the MILF sex category, don't read it. Some people don't like the Reluctance category, should we do away with it too? There is no DILF category because it's not wanted or needed.
Advanced Wordsmith
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Quote by lafayettemister
If you don't like the MILF sex category, don't read it.


I am not opposed to the story, but to the labels. Like I said, they don't call BDSM "Pervert Sex" and they don't call Gale Male "Faggot Sex", so why can't they call it "Age Play" intead of "MILF Sex"?

Just sayin'.
Si vos postulo me, sed non vis me, oportet me manere.
Sed si vis me, sed non vos postulo me, oportet me abire.
Alpha Blonde
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I've never liked the word 'Cougar'. Although the guys they're after (young guys who like older women) are called 'Cubs'.

Around here, we call the opposite - meaning older men who go after much younger women 'Silverbacks' (as in the gorilla).

If the guy is WAY older, then as you mentioned - 'Dirty Old Man' pretty much sums it up.

There's a lot of urban terms but their popularity probably differs widely depending on social demographics and where you live in the world.

In terms of story categories however, it follows the standard of what is widely accepted in the adult industry and porn. Somehow the "MILF culture" has evolved enough to have staying power and to be recognizable for those that are into women that aren't the standard 19-24 y/o that the adult industry has deemed to be the most desirable age by the majority.
Active Ink Slinger
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I have always thought the term Cougar was stupid. But I really dont see how MILF is derogatory. It is actually a compliment. Now if it was MIWFWYC, Mom I Wouldnt Fuck With Your Cock, then that would be derogatory.LOL

I have been called a MILF and while I dont really pay attention to it, it nice to be thought of being hot enough that a younger guy or girl would want me. And I hope someday to be considered a GILF!! HAHA

As for DILF, it just doesnt have the same ring to it!!

I think you are making too big a deal about nothing!! Its not like its Old Bitch Id Like To Fuck!
CurlyFries
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Quote by Nikki703
I have always thought the term Cougar was stupid. But I really dont see how MILF is derogatory. It is actually a compliment. Now if it was MIWFWYC, Mom I Wouldnt Fuck With Your Cock, then that would be derogatory.LOL

I have been called a MILF and while I dont really pay attention to it, it nice to be thought of being hot enough that a younger guy or girl would want me. And I hope someday to be considered a GILF!! HAHA

As for DILF, it just doesnt have the same ring to it!!

I think you are making too big a deal about nothing!! Its not like its Old Bitch Id Like To Fuck!


Hey, I was going to post my next story on Lush under that category (OBILTF)!


While those terms are not my favorite, I don't find them derogatory and don't give them much thought. I would certainly rather be called a MILF than a "c*nt."

In fact, while typing this post, I had some douche I've never spoken to before send me a message saying "Hey slutty girl." I was much more offended by that than if he would've called me a MILF or cougar.
Active Ink Slinger
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AT my age i gave up on looking for cougars but i always keep an eye open for a saber tooth tiger
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by PhareDuFour


I am not opposed to the story, but to the labels. Like I said, they don't call BDSM "Pervert Sex" and they don't call Gale Male "Faggot Sex", so why can't they call it "Age Play" intead of "MILF Sex"?

Just sayin'.


Writers will hopefully want as many people to see their stories as possible, I would think there are a lot more readers finding lush through google with the search term "MILF sex stories" rather than the more policitically correct "age gap related sex stories".

A similar topic recently came up regarding the interracial category - with a lot of very interesting ideas for and against it keeping it. In my opinion though it suits us all to have as many people as possible who are interested in seeing our stuff finding it. Popular terms such as MILF, cougar etc while we may not like them are part of the porn vernacular. The categories on Lush reflect that agenda, they don't set it.

As authors we should be looking to push the boundaries or surprise readers - while at the same time giving them what they will enjoy reading. The categories can allow you to play with perceptions if you want to. Or you can just write about a good hard fuck.
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Constant Gardener
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I once enjoyed the chat company of a 27 yr old single woman from Long Island. I was forty three. She was just starting her psychiatric career and had sought me out on AOL for a variety of reasons, but mostly because of the age gap.

Imagine trying to wrap your head around being thought of as or addressed as a Daddy sometime, if you feel MILF or cougar is icky.

After awhile you (or at least I did) learn to let those droplets roll down your feathers and off your back.

I can think of a lot more derogatory things to label someone as...than Daddy, MILF, cougar or silverback. Not worth getting my panties all twisted about.
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
Advanced Wordsmith
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MILF is catchy, quick and fun to say. Hopefully nobody is saying it in formal company but I see no harm in slang being used among friends. Cougar does sound worse but silverback is just as bad.
Lurker
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BTW, there's not much DILF, 'cuse most guys are dicks. And yes, cougars and MILFS are too. Lets grow up.

How about accepting our sexuality and others without terms.

And, of course I see the potential racist remark, but I just thought it funny, not racist.
Lurker
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I understand what your saying but wonder if its an cultural thing. I was at the gym the other day and had just got out of yoga. A group of older women were walking one way a couple of guys with the classic high school jock look going the other. After they past the guys I head on say to the others "Down cougers, down". They call themselves that. Its not really considered a derogatory term here in the US.
Lurker
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I don't find the term offensive at all. Being a Grandmama, I've been called a MILF and I find it rather flattering. So I guess I'm actually a GILF and let me tell you, there's some very sexy nanas out there. I doubt if many would find the term derogatory.

As for stories in the MILF genre, I've never read one. Perhaps I shall.
Matriarch
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Quote by overmykneenow
A similar topic recently came up regarding the interracial category - with a lot of very interesting ideas for and against it keeping it. In my opinion though it suits us all to have as many people as possible who are interested in seeing our stuff finding it. Popular terms such as MILF, cougar etc while we may not like them are part of the porn vernacular. The categories on Lush reflect that agenda, they don't set it.


Yes.

"MILF" at one time, was in the Top 20 most searched for phrases on the web. It ony makes sense to give people what they are searching for.

I don't consider it derogatory at all, but then again, I don't fit into that category.
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by nicola


Yes.

"MILF" at one time, was in the Top 20 most searched for phrases on the web. It ony makes sense to give people what they are searching for.

I don't consider it derogatory at all, but then again, I don't fit into that category.


Are you just an " ...ILF" then?

FWIW, I never considered MILF or GILF to be derogatory. I always thought the terms were mostly descriptive, part celebratory of diversity, and part in awe of the lasting sexual appeal of many women around the world, but I never once thought of a MILF in a bad light. (He says as he thinks of the several MILFs he's had the pleasure of bedding through the years.)
Lurker
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Quote by nicola



I don't consider it derogatory at all, but then again, I don't fit into that category.


Matriarch ILF

As for the term MILF I don't really see a problem with it. I hear countless women talking about how they're afraid of losing their figure after giving birth and being unattractive and all that. Surely being told that yes, your stomach blew out like a baloon and you squeezed a kid out of your vag and you may still have stretchmarks or whatever, but I still wanna fuck you, is a compliment? How many women have complained about being called a MILF?

As for Silverback, I think it's fucking awesome as a term. If it wasn't for the fact that I'm 26 I'd ask to be called a Silverback, simply because it would be one of the more inventive nicknames I've had during my time
CurlyFries
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Quote by elitfromnorth


Matriarch ILF

As for the term MILF I don't really see a problem with it. I hear countless women talking about how they're afraid of losing their figure after giving birth and being unattractive and all that. Surely being told that yes, your stomach blew out like a baloon [sic] and you squeezed a kid out of your vag and you may still have stretchmarks or whatever, but I still wanna fuck you, is a compliment? How many women have complained about being called a MILF?

As for Silverback, I think it's fucking awesome as a term. If it wasn't for the fact that I'm 26 I'd ask to be called a Silverback, simply because it would be one of the more inventive nicknames I've had during my time


Despite all that, we're still fuckable! Yippee! You're right, when you put it that way, how can we not take it as a compliment???
Active Ink Slinger
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Can we have a category called SWAWCWDTMADTMDTWUGUCMTMOHDWTOTBAAHTKGDWSCSOCDWHAOASLPGTILF?

" She was a wild child who drank too much and did too many drugs then woke up, got under control, married the man of her dreams who turned out to be an asshole, had 3 kids, got divorced, went sex crazy, sort of calmed down, works her ass off and still looks pretty good that Id like to Fuck"
Lurker
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Quote by Nikki703
Can we have a category called SWAWCWDTMADTMDTWUGUCMTMOHDWTOTBAAHTKGDWSCSOCDWHAOASLPGTILF?

" She was a wild child who drank too much and did too many drugs then woke up, got under control, married the man of her dreams who turned out to be an asshole, had 3 kids, got divorced, went sex crazy, sort of calmed down, works her ass off and still looks pretty good that Id like to Fuck"


NO! That would be excluding those who:
Wasn't a wild child
Didn't do drugs
Married a woman
Had no kids, less than 3 or more than 3
Still married or widowed.
As medium sex cravings
Still fucking nuts
Lazy bum woman
Looks only semi good or looks bad
You'd only fuck after half a bottle of tequila

Remember, lush is a no discriminatory site
Lurker
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wouldnt you want to be called a MILF... i mean.. isnt that a compliment.. i mean would you rather be called a MIWNWTF (mother i would not want to fuck?)
The Linebacker
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Keep 'em!
The Linebacker
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Quote by nicola


Yes.

"MILF" at one time, was in the Top 20 most searched for phrases on the web. It ony makes sense to give people what they are searching for.

I don't consider it derogatory at all, but then again, I don't fit into that category.


Nic how long are you going to keep using 'Barely Legal'?
Matriarch
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I think our Kim Kardashian stories category can be dispensed with now, what shall we replace it with?
Wild at Heart
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Quote by Nikki703
Can we have a category called SWAWCWDTMADTMDTWUGUCMTMOHDWTOTBAAHTKGDWSCSOCDWHAOASLPGTILF?

" She was a wild child who drank too much and did too many drugs then woke up, got under control, married the man of her dreams who turned out to be an asshole, had 3 kids, got divorced, went sex crazy, sort of calmed down, works her ass off and still looks pretty good that Id like to Fuck"




How about SWAWCWDTMADTMDTWUGUCMTMOHDWTOTBAAHTKGDWSCSOCDWHAOASLPGTILFH

She was a wild child who drank too much and did too many drugs then woke up, got under control, married the man of her dreams who turned out to be an asshole, had 3 kids, got divorced, went sex crazy, sort of calmed down, works her ass off and still looks pretty good that Id like to Fuck Hard.
Wild at Heart
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Quote by nicola
I think our Kim Kardashian stories category can be dispensed with now, what shall we replace it with?


I got a little excited when I saw Nicola Post in here. Was hoping she was going to suggest a "Matriarch I'd like to fuck" category.