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I am Transsexual

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Lurker
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I just started telling people in my life and and i figured I would tell all my Lushy friends as well.

I've known for a long time I was different & something wasn't right and I've known for a while what it was but i just started admit it fully to myself and those close to me and the more people I tell the more weight is lifted from my shoulder.

When I can I will live fully as a woman as I transition. I know I have a very long way to go before I am completely happy but this is a good start. I am finally happy with myself and while it's taken over 20 years for me to say thing I am not ashamed of who I am
Sarcastic Coffee Aficionado
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*hugs* .... I know it is hard, but you are doing everything right ... the truth is always the best!

I have been blessed with witnessing the transsexual process with my daughter's friend, from a woman to a man ... and he is evolving into a wonderful PERSON, because it feels right now for him!

I encourage him, as I do everyone on this personal journey .... being the authentic you will result in a happier and healthier you!

PA
xo
Lurker
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and the name I have chosen Is Lorelei Ariana Allen
Lurker
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I'm at this point in my life where I'm sure I'm a male. Ever since I was little, I've always had this thought that I shouldv'e been born male. I hate not having a penis and I hate the fact that because of this, I desire no sex life. I don't feel right living in society as a female because I feel like I don't fit the role. Maybe it's a crisis of mine, but I've felt this way since I was 8. Dressing up in female clothes makes me feel like a drag queen. Best of luck on your transition. smile
Internet Philosopher
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You only get one shot at life and then it's game over. I'm glad you had the courage to do what you felt was necessary to be happy. Never look back and enjoy your life moving forward
Lurker
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I just want to say I have been very surprised by the people on lush. Everyone has been respectful. even if they are straight males they are very respectful and either apologize and take their leave or actually stay and talk to me and get to know m as a woman. Some have just left the chat out of nowhere but even that is great compared to the bullshit & harasment I thought I was going to get from guys (and some girls) just here to get there rocks off).
Active Ink Slinger
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I can't help but admire those people that decide to follow their hearts and live their lives as they need to..
Never be ashamed for who you are Lorelei.
I wish you every happiness
Active Ink Slinger
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Good on u Heineko!
Gingerbread Lover
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I have nothing but respect and admiration for those who are able to be sure and open about their inner self. I wish you joy and great happiness on your journey through life. Each of us must walk our own path, and I admire your strength and bravery in walking yours.
Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

***
********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************
Lurker
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Quote by Shylass
I have nothing but respect and admiration for those who are able to be sure and open about their inner self. I wish you joy and great happiness on your journey through life. Each of us must walk our own path, and I admire your strength and bravery in walking yours.
\
Thank you friend

Thank all of you
Active Ink Slinger
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I have nothing but respect for people like you that realize who they are and can say they like themselfes and don't care what other people say.Nothing but good luck in your live my dear heart
Lurker
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well I told my mother and she asked if I got my genetic material checked. Said something about phenotypes & genotypes.

I flat out asked her if she can accept her 2nd son being a woman...she is now ignoring me' texts & calls. I am giving her until 10pm (5.5 hours) to say something before I say goodbye for good.
Lurker
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so my mother got back to me and it went about how I thought it would. I ended up calling her which was a fucking mistake. At the end she had managed to turn the entire conversation around to being about her and still wasn't able to tell me she would support me & be there for me.

Now if you will allow me to I am going to use a word I hate and only say to describe the most disgusting woman on the planet *my mother is a cunt* and I just don't want her in my life anymore
Gingerbread Lover
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Quote by Haineko
so my mother got back to me and it went about how I thought it would. I ended up calling her which was a fucking mistake. At the end she had managed to turn the entire conversation around to being about her and still wasn't able to tell me she would support me & be there for me.

Now if you will allow me to I am going to use a word I hate and only say to describe the most disgusting woman on the planet *my mother is a cunt* and I just don't want her in my life anymore




You have had much longer to come to terms with this than your mother has. There are many thoughts and emotions that she will have to work through, just as you have, and will have to.

Yes, you need her support, but also remember that this is probably a big shock to her. She is of a different time and generation to you, and whilst it is no excuse for not standing by one's child, do remember that she will have her own issues to work through, not neccessarily to do with you. These can include how she was raised, what she is used to, how her default brain patterns work, and what she dreamed of when she saw your future in her head.

People never do what we expect them to, and I humbly suggest, without knowing the situation, that you give her time to let the news sink in, ask her own questions (either of you or medical experts, etc), and remember that you have had longer to deal with this drastic life change than she has.

She needs time to understand that she is not losing a child she thought she had, but is gaining one who will be transforming into a shape they are comfortable in.

I admit, I don't know a huge amount about your situation and where you will be travelling. But I do know that those who know you in your present shape need time to come to terms with the outward manifestation of who is inside you, just as you are doing.

Answers cannot always be instant. We are here for you, even if the final outcome for your mother is that she doesn't understand. Please give her time. It may be all she needs.

Love Daisy.



Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

***
********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************
Lurker
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True but I have never gotten along with my mother. I don't want to go into details but this decision is a long time coming. I will give her a little bit of time but I don't know how much time I have left for her
Detention Seeker
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Lorelei Ariana Allen It's great that your weight is finally lifted, coming out and accepting what you are takes a lot of courage. You will find many understanding and honest friends here in Lush who will help boost your confidence further.
Lurker
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I wish you well in all you are going through. It can take a great deal of courage to be true to yourself. I'm so pleased, but not surprised that you have found respect and support here at Lush. It's a great community.
Active Ink Slinger
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Stay strong within and it will work out well. Just be very, very careful of your personal health, physical and metaphysical (emotions particularly).
Lurker
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figured I would update you all on how it's going.

in 18 days I am moving to Salem. OR. I know 4 people within 2 hours of where I will be staying and all know about me. Not a bad starting support system for someone literally moving to the other side of the country.

I will start transitioning soon after I move, find a job & save up money smile :)

I am both excited and nervous
Active Ink Slinger
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Haineko, you are a very brave woman, not only for facing a life and body altering transition, but also for leaving your support system and moving across the country to do so. You the type of person I very much admire. Best of luck to you!
Rookie Scribe
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I am fairly new to lush and this forumso i just found this thread. I have great respect for what you are doing and how you are doing it. You must be a very strong person. I hope that all goes well and hope that with the transition you will find happiness.
Lurker
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Quote by Sweetaboo
Haineko, you are a very brave woman, not only for facing a life and body altering transition, but also for leaving your support system and moving across the country to do so. You the type of person I very much admire. Best of luck to you!

a better support system is waiting for me even if it is small. They know me and are waiting for me. They are helping me so much already.

They also said the Salem/Portland area of Oregon is one of the best places in the country to transition.
Active Ink Slinger
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Lorelei, please don't cut your ties with your mom..She will not be here forever,and after she passes there is nothing you can do or say..we all mess up and express ourselves in ways that we soon regret.
I don't know the problems you will have to over come-But Your having a few friends as a supprot group will be a blessing to you..Hopefully their friends will be like minded & soon you will have a larger group of friends This can & will have a snow ball effect..

My son was living with me, he soon invited his friend to move in with us..it did not take long for me to realize that josh was telling me what he thought I wanted to hear.. soon I found him hiding things he wrecked.then it became rite out lies.. which resulted in my evicting josh..Bill moved with him.. which tore me up, we are just now starting to talk to one another..

Revealing your true self to her was not a trivial thing for her to digest , If she loved you before she will love you again just as soon as the shock wears off.Best wishes & good luck Joel
Lurker
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Quote by LOVES4PLAY
Lorelei, please don't cut your ties with your mom..She will not be here forever,and after she passes there is nothing you can do or say..we all mess up and express ourselves in ways that we soon regret.
I don't know the problems you will have to over come-But Your having a few friends as a supprot group will be a blessing to you..Hopefully their friends will be like minded & soon you will have a larger group of friends This can & will have a snow ball effect..

My son was living with me, he soon invited his friend to move in with us..it did not take long for me to realize that josh was telling me what he thought I wanted to hear.. soon I found him hiding things he wrecked.then it became rite out lies.. which resulted in my evicting josh..Bill moved with him.. which tore me up, we are just now starting to talk to one another..

Revealing your true self to her was not a trivial thing for her to digest , If she loved you before she will love you again just as soon as the shock wears off.Best wishes & good luck Joel

I will try but I can not make any promises. Me and my mother have never gotten along and this is a long time in coming. This may have been the straw that broke the camel's back sadly.
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by Haineko
well I told my mother and she asked if I got my genetic material checked. Said something about phenotypes & genotypes.

I flat out asked her if she can accept her 2nd son being a woman...she is now ignoring me' texts & calls. I am giving her until 10pm (5.5 hours) to say something before I say goodbye for good.



Please be a little patient with her, if Cher had difficulty accepting her daughter's sex change.
Advanced Wordsmith
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Quote by Haineko
I am not ashamed of who I am


That says alot.... having the wisdom to accept yourself, is something you should definitely hold onto

strength thru adversity - many people don't realize that without challenges in our lives, we don't learn much about ourselves. It is only thru these challenges that we search for the strength within, and the higher the hurdle, the more strength we find to overcome it. Things may never be "ideal" but a positive attitude and a small group of people who actually give you support will get you thru anything. (I don't say friends, because many we consider to be friends withdraw their support in times such as this)

As a straight male, I admire what it takes to put yourself out there especially since you expected to be bombarded by ridicule. The ppl who speak ill of you for your decision are ppl who don't know you, and as such, their opinions of you should carry no weight. The people that don't know you DOES include the ones who thought they knew you before you revealed yourself to them, they only knew you as you projected yourself at that time.

Anyway, you have My support and respect for having the strength to allow yourself to become who you truly are
Knowledge is nothing if not shared, with your slave, your community, and those wishing to enter into it. So I will continue to look for topics to give My opinion about, yes opinion.

*** Disclaimer ***
My way of thinking doesn't fit everyone, nor does anyone elses, it is not My intention to tell anyone else here how they must see or do things, as there are as many views of what "the life" means to people as there are people in it.
Lurker
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So I found a MtF support group that meets every Friday in Portland. Now all I need is a way to get to Portland every week.
Lurker
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Haineko's story has inspired us all and she is a true inspiration for people to follow. She has been through trials and tribulations and has alway made it through. I have heard her story so many times and it continues to amaze me. But in her hard times she needs us like she has been here for us. Haineko is currently homeless and is living in a mission and is in need of a place to live. If you know anyone who needs a roommate or if you are willing to help or knows someone is will help. Please please contact her with the information. Your help is greatly appreciated.
Lurker
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I live in Salem OR btw
Active Ink Slinger
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Yes I'm and proud of it