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How to lose your job... ABC style Options · View
Guest
Posted: Friday, May 10, 2013 3:56:03 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,823
hose every single employee down with breast milk
EDWolfe
Posted: Friday, May 10, 2013 4:27:19 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/5/2013
Posts: 1,033
Location: United States
Intrude into board meetings with very visible sound equipment, saying it's for "the good of the people."
Americanheart
Posted: Friday, May 10, 2013 9:22:55 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/18/2012
Posts: 8,853
Location: Frozen, United States
J- jogging and joking all around the office

Guest
Posted: Saturday, May 11, 2013 4:27:07 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,823
K - Kill 'em all, listen to the voices
EDWolfe
Posted: Saturday, May 11, 2013 8:41:03 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/5/2013
Posts: 1,033
Location: United States
Look into peepholes that lead into the bathrooms.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, May 11, 2013 10:29:27 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,823
M - magic. Perform magic tricks during contract negotiations for the biggest job your company has ever undertaken
Guest
Posted: Sunday, May 12, 2013 9:48:28 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,823
N - Never bother turning up until one minute before you clock off
WellMadeMale
Posted: Sunday, May 12, 2013 10:59:26 AM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,281
Location: Cakeland, United States
Harass your coworkers by watching porn on your work computer with the volume blasting bad muzak and worse dialogue.

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
Poppet
Posted: Sunday, May 12, 2013 4:38:24 PM

Rank: Sweetest Cricket

Joined: 10/5/2012
Posts: 5,229
Location: You Inspire Me, United States
Openly admit you have had intercourse on everyone's desk.

Guest
Posted: Sunday, May 12, 2013 7:23:48 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,823
Pull everyones trousers or skirts down each day during the lunch period
anonymouslylush
Posted: Sunday, May 12, 2013 7:25:37 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/19/2012
Posts: 735
Location: Jersey, United States
Quit doing your work and start running a phone sex operation from your office

"I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships."
— Gilda Radner

Guest
Posted: Sunday, May 12, 2013 7:37:48 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,823
Rip your clothes off at the next board meeting.
anonymouslylush
Posted: Sunday, May 12, 2013 8:00:40 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/19/2012
Posts: 735
Location: Jersey, United States
Sell your coworkers for sex.

"I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships."
— Gilda Radner

Guest
Posted: Sunday, May 12, 2013 8:04:43 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,823
Tie up your boss and hide him/her in a cupboard all day
Guest
Posted: Monday, May 13, 2013 3:57:08 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,823
Unleash a torrent of abuse at all the customers who enter your building
Poppet
Posted: Tuesday, May 14, 2013 10:10:06 AM

Rank: Sweetest Cricket

Joined: 10/5/2012
Posts: 5,229
Location: You Inspire Me, United States
Voice you opinion about how shitty the job is in front of all your co-workers.

anonymouslylush
Posted: Tuesday, May 14, 2013 10:20:52 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/19/2012
Posts: 735
Location: Jersey, United States
Wash your sex toys in the office kitchen

"I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships."
— Gilda Radner

Guest
Posted: Tuesday, May 14, 2013 12:56:47 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,823
X - cite your co workers by giving them an eyeful of your private parts and slow their productivity to a halt.
Poppet
Posted: Wednesday, May 15, 2013 11:56:30 AM

Rank: Sweetest Cricket

Joined: 10/5/2012
Posts: 5,229
Location: You Inspire Me, United States
Yell and scream up and down the work place that you're pregnant with the boss's baby.

Guest
Posted: Wednesday, May 15, 2013 2:48:43 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,823
Zoo - turn the office into one, literally
WellMadeMale
Posted: Wednesday, May 15, 2013 3:37:58 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,281
Location: Cakeland, United States
Abdicate your job responsibilities in the middle of a network-wide router upgrade.

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
HotBttmInBriefs
Posted: Wednesday, May 15, 2013 5:23:26 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/6/2013
Posts: 1,520
Location: United States
Bathe in the sink in the employee lounge every morning

Guest
Posted: Wednesday, May 15, 2013 8:42:24 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,823
Cunt - At the end of every sentence, say the word cunt, as if you genuinely think it's the person's name.
ginger86
Posted: Thursday, May 16, 2013 12:07:32 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/4/2012
Posts: 10,838
Location: Lost, United States
don't show up at work for days cause you're partying hard

ginger86
Posted: Thursday, May 16, 2013 12:07:33 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/4/2012
Posts: 10,838
Location: Lost, United States
ooops, double post bootyshake

Guest
Posted: Thursday, May 16, 2013 12:41:10 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,823
Exhume the bodies of dead employees during the night, and put them in the seats of your colleagues.
ginger86
Posted: Thursday, May 16, 2013 12:49:38 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/4/2012
Posts: 10,838
Location: Lost, United States
fuck the bosses daughter

Poppet
Posted: Thursday, May 16, 2013 7:52:14 PM

Rank: Sweetest Cricket

Joined: 10/5/2012
Posts: 5,229
Location: You Inspire Me, United States
Give everyone in the work place food poisoning and put it on YouTube.

Guest
Posted: Thursday, May 16, 2013 8:02:06 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,823
Hump: When you're in the queue at the dining hall Hump the air and pretend it's a nervous twitch. When someone doesn't believe you, hump them. In fact, just hump everything.
Guest
Posted: Thursday, May 16, 2013 9:36:04 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,823
Incite a flash mob in the office - every day
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