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How to lose your job... ABC style Options · View
Poppet
Posted: Thursday, May 30, 2013 7:11:02 PM

Rank: Sweetest Cricket

Joined: 10/5/2012
Posts: 5,251
Location: You Inspire Me, United States
Let your kids come to work, and cause havoc.

Americanheart
Posted: Thursday, May 30, 2013 10:59:20 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/18/2012
Posts: 8,853
Location: Frozen, United States
Kick the boss in the ass and fly a kite in the office

Aussie_kitty77
Posted: Friday, July 05, 2013 6:26:40 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/5/2013
Posts: 2,168
Location: In my house invading your thoughts , Australia
mindlessly yell obscenities at customers and collegues

HK4167
Posted: Friday, July 05, 2013 6:42:31 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/1/2011
Posts: 3,307
Location: Seattle, United States
Never return your boss's emails and phone calls.

Welcome to visit my tumblr page at http://HK4167.tumblr.com for erotic arts. Or http://slice-of-moment.tumblr.com for non-erotic arts.
simply_sweet
Posted: Saturday, July 06, 2013 12:35:52 AM

Rank: Pandahug Ninja

Joined: 6/15/2010
Posts: 1,399
Location: IL, United States
Open and close the door to your boss's office repeatedly, obnoxiously, and non-stop.

Recommended Reads


Skyping With A Stranger


A Change of Heart


Good Morning Baby


Hot For Teacher: Ch. 4


Hot For Teacher: Ch. 2


A Shot in the Dark
adele
Posted: Saturday, July 06, 2013 11:27:57 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/8/2011
Posts: 20,668
Location: if I knew where I was then I would not be here...
post your resume out there using the company internet

There is no mark of self,
And no mark of others,
No mark of living beings,
And no mark of a life.


-- The Diamond Sutra
iWoMan
Posted: Saturday, July 06, 2013 12:30:18 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/9/2013
Posts: 389
Location: United States
Question your boss's choice of deodorant
adele
Posted: Saturday, July 06, 2013 8:10:10 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/8/2011
Posts: 20,668
Location: if I knew where I was then I would not be here...
run around naked

There is no mark of self,
And no mark of others,
No mark of living beings,
And no mark of a life.


-- The Diamond Sutra
simply_sweet
Posted: Saturday, July 06, 2013 10:46:50 PM

Rank: Pandahug Ninja

Joined: 6/15/2010
Posts: 1,399
Location: IL, United States
adele
Posted: Saturday, July 06, 2013 11:04:42 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/8/2011
Posts: 20,668
Location: if I knew where I was then I would not be here...
tell your boss to go to hell

There is no mark of self,
And no mark of others,
No mark of living beings,
And no mark of a life.


-- The Diamond Sutra
simply_sweet
Posted: Sunday, July 07, 2013 1:37:44 AM

Rank: Pandahug Ninja

Joined: 6/15/2010
Posts: 1,399
Location: IL, United States
adele
Posted: Sunday, July 07, 2013 6:21:30 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/8/2011
Posts: 20,668
Location: if I knew where I was then I would not be here...
Voice your opinion about what an idiot your boss is over the PA system

There is no mark of self,
And no mark of others,
No mark of living beings,
And no mark of a life.


-- The Diamond Sutra
simply_sweet
Posted: Monday, July 08, 2013 1:58:06 AM

Rank: Pandahug Ninja

Joined: 6/15/2010
Posts: 1,399
Location: IL, United States
Write your boss a letter calling them every awful name you can think of

Recommended Reads


Skyping With A Stranger


A Change of Heart


Good Morning Baby


Hot For Teacher: Ch. 4


Hot For Teacher: Ch. 2


A Shot in the Dark
adele
Posted: Monday, July 08, 2013 9:15:14 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/8/2011
Posts: 20,668
Location: if I knew where I was then I would not be here...
X-ray your privates and display it in the entryway of your office building.

There is no mark of self,
And no mark of others,
No mark of living beings,
And no mark of a life.


-- The Diamond Sutra
Guest
Posted: Monday, July 08, 2013 9:26:50 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,741
Yell cuss words randomly while on the phone with a customer, lol
simply_sweet
Posted: Monday, July 08, 2013 2:36:40 PM

Rank: Pandahug Ninja

Joined: 6/15/2010
Posts: 1,399
Location: IL, United States
Zip yourself up in Cas's rubber suit and rub yourself on everyone and anyone who passes by you.

Recommended Reads


Skyping With A Stranger


A Change of Heart


Good Morning Baby


Hot For Teacher: Ch. 4


Hot For Teacher: Ch. 2


A Shot in the Dark
adele
Posted: Monday, July 08, 2013 6:54:13 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/8/2011
Posts: 20,668
Location: if I knew where I was then I would not be here...
Answer the phone ''sex shop, who would you like to fuck?''

There is no mark of self,
And no mark of others,
No mark of living beings,
And no mark of a life.


-- The Diamond Sutra
simply_sweet
Posted: Tuesday, July 09, 2013 2:03:56 AM

Rank: Pandahug Ninja

Joined: 6/15/2010
Posts: 1,399
Location: IL, United States
adele
Posted: Tuesday, July 16, 2013 12:49:55 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/8/2011
Posts: 20,668
Location: if I knew where I was then I would not be here...
Catch a nap during an important meeting

There is no mark of self,
And no mark of others,
No mark of living beings,
And no mark of a life.


-- The Diamond Sutra
simply_sweet
Posted: Wednesday, July 17, 2013 1:34:44 AM

Rank: Pandahug Ninja

Joined: 6/15/2010
Posts: 1,399
Location: IL, United States
Guest
Posted: Sunday, August 04, 2013 8:41:13 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,741
fuck your co workers
Guest
Posted: Sunday, August 04, 2013 6:18:56 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,741
Going naked to meeting
bill11
Posted: Monday, August 05, 2013 2:47:33 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/10/2010
Posts: 19,622
Having sex on the bosses desk, without him
simply_sweet
Posted: Tuesday, August 06, 2013 8:02:26 AM

Rank: Pandahug Ninja

Joined: 6/15/2010
Posts: 1,399
Location: IL, United States
Ignoring all the customers while you chat away on the phone to your friends

Recommended Reads


Skyping With A Stranger


A Change of Heart


Good Morning Baby


Hot For Teacher: Ch. 4


Hot For Teacher: Ch. 2


A Shot in the Dark
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, August 06, 2013 10:26:01 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,741
Playing with simply-sweet boobs in the managers office
Fuct_One
Posted: Tuesday, August 06, 2013 11:06:53 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/5/2013
Posts: 1,263
Location: Does it matter?, United States
Did we skip "j"?

Jacking off on top of the copying machine.

The "notorious gunman".
simply_sweet
Posted: Thursday, August 08, 2013 3:51:31 AM

Rank: Pandahug Ninja

Joined: 6/15/2010
Posts: 1,399
Location: IL, United States
FUCTONE wrote:
Did we skip "j"?

Jacking off on top of the copying machine.


Lfunny yes, yes we did



K


Kicking your boss in the face

Recommended Reads


Skyping With A Stranger


A Change of Heart


Good Morning Baby


Hot For Teacher: Ch. 4


Hot For Teacher: Ch. 2


A Shot in the Dark
Guest
Posted: Thursday, August 08, 2013 4:51:07 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,741
Change your OOTO (out of the office) response to any of this: Guaranteed to lose your job immediately.

1. I will be on holiday from [date] to [date]. Each person may send me one email while I am gone. I will randomly delete multiple emails from you until only one is left. You have already sent me one email.

2. I've run away to join the circus. A different one.

3. I'm away until [date]. If you have an immediate issue, contact [name]. If your issue is not immediate, why are you emailing me?

4. I cannot handle your emails until I return on [date]. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

5. I'm away from my desk at the moment. My cubicle and computer are still here, but someone took my desk. I've gone off to look for it.

6. I am out for the day at a doctor's appointment. My brain is being removed so I can enter management.

7. I stayed at a motel last night because of the weather, and my cat ran under the bed, which is bolted to the floor. I can't ask the chambermaids to help me catch the cat, because I'm not supposed to have a cat in here. As soon as the cat comes out, I'll be back in to work.

8. I'm not out of the office. I'm ignoring you.

9. I am away from the office right now. Unfortunately, I will be back tomorrow.

10. I am no longer checking this email account. The company and I reached a settlement, and in exchange for my not coming within 500 feet of their offices, I will not serve any time.

11. I am away until [date]. I have full access to phone and email, but refuse to use them for work.

12. I am attending training for one week. Don't expect any difference when I return.

13. I'm out of the office, and probably drinking.

14. You have been charged £5.99 for the first 10 words of your email and £1.99 for each additional word.

15. I will be out of the office on medical leave for the next 2 weeks. When I return, please call me Loretta instead of Steve.

16. I am out of the office until [date]. Enjoy the quiet.

17. On annual leave, hope to win the lottery and never return.

18. Your message contained 15 characters too many for our system to accept at the present time. Please re-format and re-send.

19. On a beach, no laptop, no iPhone. Back [date].

20. I am away until [date]. During my absence, please contact [name]. He won't help you either.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, August 18, 2013 8:12:09 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,741
LOL, I shouldn't be laughing at those messages as I have left at least three on my email.

I think L is next?

Left the Speaker Phone on while shouting at the boss in the next office "The damn CEO is on the phone again with some more B.S. for you."
Valkyrie_angel
Posted: Thursday, August 22, 2013 1:15:27 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/31/2013
Posts: 116
Location: Canada
Mentioning to your co-worker that your boss is "such a bitch and should just die," right when your boss approaches you XD
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