Share some of your funny profanities/sayings or ones you have heard others use.
Here's some examples:
Mr. Bond n. A particularly buoyant turd that returns to the surface of the water even after flushing. 'Ah, so we meet again, Mr. Bond.'
Pie Curious adj. Descriptive of a person who, whilst not a full blown Duke of Giblets, is nevertheless not averse to a spot of sly salad-dodging from time to time.
Coconut Minge-mat n. Pubic hair you could wipe your feet on.
Penis Fly Trap n. A precariously balanced toilet seat which stays vertical for a few moments before dropping upon unsuspecting helmets in its path. A knob chopper.
Chinese firework n. The cock of a one pump chump, ie. one that goes off almost instantaneously.
I like to call people arsepieces when I'm pissed off at them.
I was playing an old Playstation game called Bloodlines and one of the insults in that was "fanny magnet".
Anything that Blackadder says in an insulting way to Baldrick is instantly funny.
You are just too muckin fuch!!
Well fuck me running, I shit you not, and are you fuckin kidding
I like Fuck you, the reason often that's the last thing that they want to do.
I have a friend that used:
1) Fuck my nutsack.
2) Son of a fuck
3) Son of a whore.
Son of a fuck always makes me laugh.
"Toaster sex". Polite expression for anal sex. Like a slice of bread, the longer leave keep it in, the browner it gets.
"Granny's flannel": A very dry pussy.
"How did you get on fucking that little sort last night, Ricky?"
"I did my best, mate, but her pussy was like a granny's flannel and couldn't get me cock in."
"Butler's cuff": A very tight pussy, the opposite of a "wizard's sleeve".
This is a snappy comeback if someone says "Fuck you" -- Say "I'd be bored, and you'd fall in love."
I have to ask because that is a new expression to me.
What is a "Twatwaffle"?
I have to ask because that is a new expression to me.
What is a "Twatwaffle"?
I like this one: That is "too mucking fuch!"
One that my brother says a lot: "Blow Balls"
One I like to write in my stories: "Coochie". . .I smile every time it comes up.
Guy I knew used to say, "Well fuck my old boots!" Which always got the rejoinder, "After you with your old boots".
And sometimes I get in a muckin' fuddle.
'No shit, Sherlock.' comes to mind
I swear like a trooper, so there aren't many swear words that haven't crossed my lips. I tend to use Shit the Bed! If I do something I really wish I hadn't. My latest favourite seems to Fucking Cock Munch! Which I've been using fair amount recently.
I love 'You are a smelly pirate hooker', from Anchorman, and try to use it daily.
when my dad got angry he always said i'm going to put the cooker to that so and so i always wondered what the cooker was and how could you get someone that big in it
in most company I can use Fandamntastic, either sarcastically or elated. I never understood using the word fuck to insult someone, considering its origin.
Twatwaffle is still my favorite.
Cum guzzling thundercunt
craptaculor. i find it fits a variety of occasions.
Asshat always makes me laugh.
"It's all shits and giggles till someone giggles and shits!" ??
p
i have seen it in mixed company....
