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lowrider1972
Posted: Thursday, August 22, 2013 3:15:40 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 8/8/2013
Posts: 7
Location: United States
Would it be possible to create a chat room for new members to get their feet wet? It seems like in the existing rooms there are cliques so to speak and it is hard for new members to interact with others. Maybe this way new people won't feel awkward with the other members. I myself feel as though I'm intruding when I go into the chat rooms. This way you know going in there are new members trying to get familiar with how things go. It's just my thoughts and observations. Thank you
Katje
Posted: Thursday, August 22, 2013 3:39:48 PM

Rank: Story Verifier

Joined: 2/17/2013
Posts: 1,482
Location: A state of Confusion, United States
Well, I'm not super high up on the important list, so I can't do anything about a newby room ...

BUT: There are some cliques, yes. The internet, world-wide, is like a cyber version of high school all over again.

Really, it's trial and error. I run a room occasionally, called Dangerous Curves Ahead. See it open, pop on in. I'll be sure to answer all the questions that I can, and help you understand the way it works to the best of my ability!

Just ask for help, too. The worst people can say is no, and you might be surprised sometimes with the response you'll get just asking, versus sitting in the room and lurking. (Regular chatters will know exactly what I mean, here.)

A competition entry...
When Detective Trish Ramirez hits a snag on a case she's working, she makes a wish. The only thing is, her answer comes with a sexy price...
lowrider1972
Posted: Thursday, August 22, 2013 3:54:55 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 8/8/2013
Posts: 7
Location: United States
Thank you for responding to my post. I'm afraid you are right about it being high school all over again sadly. I will definitely look for your room and stop in. I have asked a couple questions but never received any response that's why I thought this type of room would be helpful. Anymore I am just a wallflower because others don't want to interact. I know if I had a little more on my profile it might help but I don't want to throw too much on there until I get more familiar. Thanks again
Katje
Posted: Thursday, August 22, 2013 4:03:58 PM

Rank: Story Verifier

Joined: 2/17/2013
Posts: 1,482
Location: A state of Confusion, United States
Well, even putting just a little blurb up there would be helpful. "New here, for friends and stories. Shy, but will open up once I'm here longer."

Trust me, something is better than nothing. Knowing a little information will make you more another person to us, not just some lurking creep than wants to get their rocks off. Another good start is picking an avatar; Doesn't have to be you, just something you like/enjoy/find sexy! Most generally, we see the red and whites in a chatroom, and it makes us shudder. (Generally a guy who just wants a nut, not conversation.)

A competition entry...
When Detective Trish Ramirez hits a snag on a case she's working, she makes a wish. The only thing is, her answer comes with a sexy price...
lowrider1972
Posted: Thursday, August 22, 2013 5:05:30 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 8/8/2013
Posts: 7
Location: United States
Gotcha. Just got messaged by another member and invited to a room and had a good experience. I will work on the other things and try to get in the door a little better. You have been very helpful and I look forward to future interactions. :)
simplyjohn
Posted: Friday, August 23, 2013 11:26:02 AM

Rank: Chat Moderator

Joined: 11/24/2011
Posts: 5,526
Location: Eating steak and chips, United Kingdom
I have to say its not easy when people first enter the rooms. Please consider it not different to a real social environment and one has to make a large effort to mingle into the crowd and join in. When I first joined it was the best part of 2 weeks before someone said to me .. 'This is a chat room you know' ... lol .. that was the break I needed .. never looked back :) .. good luck and dont feel left out .. it does take a lil time :)

edit - may I please offer one piece of advice .. do get an avatar .. so many people frown on the default ones ..
Guest
Posted: Friday, August 23, 2013 11:33:07 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 530,464
I think this is an excellent idea. The first time I went into a chat room was here on Lush. I had never been in one anywhere before. Unfortunately I think I picked the lush bedroom first LOL. I went in there and was met with a mass of 'whispers' and everything else. I accepted one private chat request, not really knowing what I was accepting, and the first question I was hit with was "what are you wearing on your FEET". Now, me not being into 'feet', thought that was a little weird (I now know it's not even close) so I ran out of there screaming. To this day I think I've only ever been back in a chat room once.

It would have been nice to know there was a newbie chat room for those who weren't sure how they operate. Hell I can't keep up with the speed of the text, either that or I 'whisper' to the whole chat room.
wiseowl65
Posted: Friday, August 23, 2013 1:23:51 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 10/18/2012
Posts: 53
Location: United Kingdom
I feel that is a good idea ,as a newbie not used to chat rooms. It is over 40 years since I last tried a chat room and things have changed a lot since those days.
I have tried to join in but have been ignored . I am shy when It comes to chatting with strangers ,I am better once I get to know people ,but its the first steps that I find problems with .
sweetaz
Posted: Friday, August 23, 2013 1:39:14 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/25/2011
Posts: 9,018
Location: New Zealand
Good idea :)
Guest
Posted: Friday, August 23, 2013 9:13:47 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 530,464
I'm new here but I've been in chat rooms other places and I've found that if people are unfriendly enough to ignore you, they're probably not worth talking to when they finally decide to say hello back to you, especially if they're online and chatting up other people. Classic bullying, let's ignore the new kid. I hope chatrooms here are not like that, I will venture in them later.
nicola
Posted: Saturday, August 24, 2013 1:35:17 AM

Rank: Matriarch

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 25,416
Location: The Orgasmatron
I like the idea of a dedicated newbie chat room. I can see people using it for a couple of days and never using it again though, so it would be better if a few "old hands" ran it to answer questions etc.
lowrider1972
Posted: Saturday, August 24, 2013 10:23:02 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 8/8/2013
Posts: 7
Location: United States
I myself am in the same boat with Trinket. I had not chatted in a chat room until the other day. That is why I proposed this. I have not had a private chat yet so I haven't experienced anything like she has in that manner. I fully agree with Nicola about having experienced people run it because I would have no clue as to where to even start. I appreciate everyone's replies on this topic as I am finding them all very helpful. Btw I am still searching for the appropriate avatar once I find it I am definitely changing mine.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, August 24, 2013 12:28:12 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 530,464
Chatrooms here are really unfriendly. I went into two of them last night and both times, I got told to leave, once because I didn't have an avatar yet and once because a couple was cybersexing and the female was mad I had opened the room.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, August 24, 2013 8:15:13 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 530,464
I change my last remark, SOME of the chatrooms are unfriendly, I tried another one and met some very friendly people.
Ravyn
Posted: Saturday, August 24, 2013 9:31:55 PM

Rank: Cock Connoisseur

Joined: 4/26/2010
Posts: 2,083
Location: Bend, United States
I am sorry some of you are finding it hard to be the chat rooms. Not all of the rooms are horrible and can be quite fun. A couple of things I would like to share is that make sure when you go into a room you try and interact, I know it can be intimidating to some but it really is the best way to get to know others and let the room know you are there to chat. The chat room lurkers are the ones that most do not like, people come into a room and sit and say nothing. If you come across a rude member, just right click their name in the user list and block them.

That feature will become your best friend on here. Most of our members come here to enjoy themselves but you will come across the occasional drama queens as well as the cliques that tend to form. There is a lot of fun to be had in the chat rooms it just may take you time to find the one you enjoy the most. Also, you can create your own, sometimes that is a great way to break the ice. If you run into a problem while in a room, just click the person with a hammer icon above where you type, see which moderator is online and just drop one of us a line. We are here to help if you need it.

Above, all relax and try and enjoy what our wonderful site has to offer :)

notsurewhatnametouse
Posted: Sunday, August 25, 2013 7:40:00 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 8/5/2013
Posts: 6
Location: United Kingdom
A newb room is a great idea. It does take a while to get used to chat rooms. I have to agree, it is like the first day at school all over again! Chat room etiquette is a challenge to grasp hold off!
Ravyn
Posted: Monday, August 26, 2013 11:15:02 PM

Rank: Cock Connoisseur

Joined: 4/26/2010
Posts: 2,083
Location: Bend, United States
notsurewhatnametouse wrote:
A newb room is a great idea. It does take a while to get used to chat rooms. I have to agree, it is like the first day at school all over again! Chat room etiquette is a challenge to grasp hold off!



The trick is to keep going back :) segregating the newbies from the seasoned isn't the answer. Just join a room and jump right in you'll be surprised how welcoming some can be. If you see me in any room, don't hesitate to say hi, I guarantee I will say hello back!!!!

SydneySider
Posted: Tuesday, August 27, 2013 2:02:41 AM

Rank: Chat Moderator

Joined: 11/6/2011
Posts: 1,656
Location: Sydney, Australia
Another suggestion would be to only accept whispers from people on your friends list. Its in your settings. Honestly, some people just dont know when to stop, so this, and the block option, are two ways to control the animals. Us chat mods have long memories and we know who the serial pests are (and you know who you are). At the end of the day, you are in control. You control who you talk to. You're not in a bar where it could be difficult to get away from someone. Those options are there for a reason, so use them. And if you just ignore someone, they will go away. Giving them a response is exactly what they want. Its the attention they want. I do agree though that some of the user created rooms with their long list of rules is a little over the top, but its really simple. Its about respect. Give it, and if you dont receive it back, block them. If it goes too far, just report the chat and the mods will take it from there.



Dani
Posted: Tuesday, August 27, 2013 11:02:46 AM

Rank: Big-Haired Bitch

Joined: 12/25/2010
Posts: 4,603
Location: Under Your Bed, United States
I think this is a great idea. Sometimes it's hard to have a conversation in cliquey chat rooms even when I've been a member for going on 3 years. I used to always hang out in the chat rooms because I had a great time, but I haven't been in a chat room in going on a month now for this very reason. When I'm in a chat room, I do my best to say hi when people come in trying to introduce themselves. I hate that people come online, of all places, and feel like outsiders. I have several friends that frequent chat rooms, but I don't JUST associate with them. Granted, some people annoy me, but I still talk to them because there's really no reason not to unless they're just blatantly rude or disrespectful.

Shit, I rambled. I said all of that just to say that a newbie room sounds great. It gives people a chance to say hello and establish their own rapport with others. Because, as much as I hate it, cliques are inevitable on any social site. People establish friendships or acquaintance-ships and bonds through familiarity, and that's what they seek out. I'm not saying form a clique of newbies or anything, but it does make for a better first time experience than being completely ignored in a fast-paced room. And of course it won't limit the room to just newbies. It gives seasoned members an opportunity to go in and introduce themselves and such.

On the flip side, there will be lots of predators who love fresh meat, but there's not much to be done about that. But overall, I think this is an excellent idea.





Baby put your arms around me, tell me I'm a problem...

elitfromnorth
Posted: Tuesday, August 27, 2013 8:14:00 PM

Rank: Brawling Berserker

Joined: 2/12/2012
Posts: 1,614
Location: Burrowed, Norway
Not so sure about the idea of a newbie chatroom. Can imagine plenty of guys wanting to"help" the newbies...

Consider the chatroom as a bar. You go in and see a bunch of people. You order a beer and then dit down at a corner table and don't talk to anyone. Do you think it would be fair to call the other people in the bar cliquy because they didn't approach you? Try talking to someone. There are hundreds of people that go into the chatroom and you're sure to find someone that will say hi back. Just don't be too timid to engage in a conversation.

"It's at that point you realise Lady Luck is actually a hooker, and you're fresh out of cash."
lowrider1972
Posted: Wednesday, August 28, 2013 2:52:52 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 8/8/2013
Posts: 7
Location: United States
I have been perusing the chat rooms since I first posted this suggestion in the forum and since then I have had interactions with maybe 4 people. I have changed my avatar and each time I enter a room I say hi or hello to all and at least open the door for conversation. Its not a matter of being bullied its that people just ignore you. I am working on adding more to my profile because I know people check on it when I enter a room. It surprises me that not even the moderator of a room says hi and welcome to their room.
Nikki703
Posted: Wednesday, August 28, 2013 3:52:45 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/7/2009
Posts: 12,605
Location: The Other Side Of The Mirror
I think it is a good idea in principle but I also agree with Nicola that I can see it being good for a few days then you leaving it once you become comfortable chatting. I also can see a newbie entering the room and being there all by his/herself waiting for someone to chat with. It will be the same as the Gold Chat Room was. Very popular at first but after a while it becomes a ghost town.

I do however understand that it is hard for a newbie in a chat room. Many, not all but many chat rooms are very cliquish. And many times the ones that aren't are so crowded it is so hard to keep up. I used to frequent chat rooms often and I sometimes felt like I was intruding. Not like anyone ever said I was but I felt bad trying to get involved in an ongoing chat. I eventually found that the forum was a much better way to make friends and get to know people.
Dani
Posted: Wednesday, August 28, 2013 4:09:20 PM

Rank: Big-Haired Bitch

Joined: 12/25/2010
Posts: 4,603
Location: Under Your Bed, United States
lowrider1972 wrote:
I have been perusing the chat rooms since I first posted this suggestion in the forum and since then I have had interactions with maybe 4 people. I have changed my avatar and each time I enter a room I say hi or hello to all and at least open the door for conversation. Its not a matter of being bullied its that people just ignore you. I am working on adding more to my profile because I know people check on it when I enter a room. It surprises me that not even the moderator of a room says hi and welcome to their room.


Do you mean an actual chat moderator for the site, or someone who simply creates a room? The two are very different.



Baby put your arms around me, tell me I'm a problem...

lowrider1972
Posted: Thursday, August 29, 2013 3:57:44 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 8/8/2013
Posts: 7
Location: United States
I'm sorry for my lack of chat room lingo/terminology as I have limited experience with them. But I would have to say the site moderator. I am assuming that is the person that I have seen pop in and warn various people about their content that they were posting. In a way it feels as though we newbies are wearing the scarlet letter N and no one wants to get to know us. I guess with a new member chat room it would at least give new members a place to go to maybe be able to carry on a conversation with either another new person or another member who is willing to break the ice and actually wants to talk to a new member. At least with a specific room for it you feel like you have a chance to chat.
scarlet
Posted: Thursday, August 29, 2013 4:52:43 PM

Rank: Chat Moderator

Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 3,318
Location: United Kingdom
lowrider1972 wrote:
I'm sorry for my lack of chat room lingo/terminology as I have limited experience with them. But I would have to say the site moderator. I am assuming that is the person that I have seen pop in and warn various people about their content that they were posting. In a way it feels as though we newbies are wearing the scarlet letter N and no one wants to get to know us. I guess with a new member chat room it would at least give new members a place to go to maybe be able to carry on a conversation with either another new person or another member who is willing to break the ice and actually wants to talk to a new member. At least with a specific room for it you feel like you have a chance to chat.


Hiya hun.

I'm a chat moderator and I know sometimes I forget to welcome everyone into the room at times . Mostly because I'm off sorting out an issue or in fairyland and sometimes the chat moves to fast for even me, especially in picture rooms.

I know we had a nice chat and a laugh in the chat rooms before, and to be honest I haven't had the chance to go in there that much since crybaby But as a chat mod I do have to say that we do get a lot of people talking to us. Which I love and helps feed my chat accidiction, but sometimes an issue will be brought to our attention, that we have to focus on at the time.

I understand the Newbie thing completely which is why I reached out to you and asked you to come in. Being a newbie does fade honestly, some of the older members do get into close friendships and relationships which means at times they forget what it was like. I hope you keep your good experience and use them as a tool for the future.

And poke me (just not with yellow snow) if you see me! (By the way this isn't just for Lowrider, give a nice gentle poke and I'm happy to help)

My 2 cents As for the Newbie chatroom, I think it's a good idea but I also worry about the use it would get... As moderators we do try to help people work how all the little bits of the chat rooms work. It's a common thing that if a chat room doesn't show anyone it in then people don't tend to go inside. And if this new room is empty I can't see many people going in.

That being said I'm going to creating my own little room on Monday evening (GMT) called Newbie's Welcome. So anyone that wants to chat, or learn the chatroom ropes and find like minded people, everyone can come along. I can't promise to be there the whole time (I have 2 teething children) and I'll try and be in there as much as I can.

I'll also rope in a few of the experienced members and get them to help with the room and share there experiences. I hope it will be there start of a regular thing, time allowing and depending on the interest.

I'm also going to open a room up tonight for as long as I'm able to stay, so if anyone wants help or just to chat and find out what it's like I will be in there.
scarlet
Posted: Thursday, August 29, 2013 7:42:58 PM

Rank: Chat Moderator

Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 3,318
Location: United Kingdom
I think the room was a great success. I hope everyone enjoyed it and got the info that they wanted. If I didn't get a chance to explain things fully, I am very sorry it got a little crazy at points. But we (me, clarkie1990, Elitfromnorth and maybe a few others) will be back on Monday and if anyone has any chat questions you can pm me and the rest of the chat mod team (you can find a list by clicking here). We'll get back to you as soon as we can.
lowrider1972
Posted: Friday, August 30, 2013 1:53:22 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 8/8/2013
Posts: 7
Location: United States
Racking, I totally enjoyed our conversation we had earlier this week and I am looking forward to future ones. I'm sorry I missed the chat last night as I was busy with a prior engagement but I will definitely try to check it out on Monday. I am glad you feel it was a success and I would like to thank you for creating it. Hope to see you there and don't forget what they say about the yellow snow. rofl
scarlet
Posted: Monday, September 02, 2013 2:06:14 PM

Rank: Chat Moderator

Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 3,318
Location: United Kingdom
I've just opened the room again if anyone wants any help :)
pentup47
Posted: Thursday, September 26, 2013 3:24:14 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 9/3/2013
Posts: 68
Location: United Kingdom
I'm a newbie too. I've had good and bad chat room experieces so far, but I agree with the advice on Lush's chat room guidelines that it is courteous always to greet others on entering: like walking into a real room.

Can I pose one newbie question for one of the moderators, please? Suppose you're getting on well with one other person in the room, but are rather shy (I'm extremely shy!) about being too explicit in front of strangers? Short of creating your own room, where can the two of you go for a private one-on-one?
sprite
Posted: Thursday, September 26, 2013 1:29:39 PM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 14,405
Location: My Tower, United States
pentup47 wrote:
I'm a newbie too. I've had good and bad chat room experieces so far, but I agree with the advice on Lush's chat room guidelines that it is courteous always to greet others on entering: like walking into a real room.

Can I pose one newbie question for one of the moderators, please? Suppose you're getting on well with one other person in the room, but are rather shy (I'm extremely shy!) about being too explicit in front of strangers? Short of creating your own room, where can the two of you go for a private one-on-one?


you can do the OMs (black boxes) or chat (blue box) if you're both into it. you can also simply whisper in the room, although chat mods can still see the whispers - no one else can, tho.

http://www.lushstories.com/stories/hardcore/west-coast-games-part-one-the-beach.aspx
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