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What is your experience with affairs? Options · View
drillsarge2
Posted: Monday, September 02, 2013 7:22:48 PM

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Location: United States
Have you had an affair with a married man? Was it something you would do again? How much are you willing to share? As one who has never had an affair in a lot of years of marriage, but has often considered it, I wonder...
VanGogh
Posted: Monday, September 02, 2013 11:33:48 PM

Rank: Sarcastic Coffee Aficionado

Joined: 2/10/2012
Posts: 3,039
Location: Vancouver, Canada
I was a mistress (not the bdsm kind) for 3.5 years ....... although there were great moments, essentially it's time one has wasted. Once those years are gone, they are gone. I could have, perhaps, met someone who was available and developed a long term relationship. Instead ... 3.5 years later .... or even 10 years later ... I have nothing.

I would not recommend it to anyone, unless it's just sex. If there are any emotions that develop ...... well, someone is gonna get fucked, and it's not pretty.

A Milf series combined with Office Sex *fans face* .... The Secretary and The Student
starting with The Secretary and The Student - first part

Enjoy!!

For the Anal Lovers .... come enjoy my RR honoured An Alluring Ass

Another Sex in the Office Poem (I know you love those!!) In Your Office

Guest
Posted: Monday, September 02, 2013 11:40:24 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,325
I didn't have an 'affair', I almost had a one-nighter with a married man, his wife was out of town for the weekend. I walked into their living room and there were family photos of him with his wife and children, and many of just his children. I asked him to call me a taxi and I walked out of there. I couldn't do it. I imagined if I were her..... and I didn't want to do that to another woman.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, September 03, 2013 4:30:03 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,325
drillsarge2 wrote:
Have you had an affair with a married man? Was it something you would do again? How much are you willing to share? As one who has never had an affair in a lot of years of marriage, but has often considered it, I wonder...

I'm glad I'm not married to you.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, September 03, 2013 5:56:58 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,325
lisad83 wrote:

I'm glad I'm not married to you.



I'm curious to know why you would say that?

Guest
Posted: Tuesday, September 03, 2013 6:53:07 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,325
trinket wrote:



I'm curious to know why you would say that?


Hi Trinket
I guess for the same reason you walked out of that guys house when you saw pictures of his wife and kids. I feel if you are in a committed relationship you should honor that relationship or get divorced. Or at least separated. If I was married I would want to know that my husband wasn't trying to have sex with other women unless it was agreed that we would have that type of relationship. Reading what the OP said, I don't think he had that type of relationship with his wife. If in fact that was the case though, I would tell him to go for it.
adagio_sabadicus
Posted: Tuesday, September 03, 2013 7:55:04 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/24/2013
Posts: 1,279
Relationships have more lasting power, hopefully leading to better things, Affairs usually are pit stops and cause wrecks.

[
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, September 03, 2013 7:56:19 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,325
lisad83 wrote:

Hi Trinket
I guess for the same reason you walked out of that guys house when you saw pictures of his wife and kids. I feel if you are in a committed relationship you should honor that relationship or get divorced. Or at least separated. If I was married I would want to know that my husband wasn't trying to have sex with other women unless it was agreed that we would have that type of relationship. Reading what the OP said, I don't think he had that type of relationship with his wife. If in fact that was the case though, I would tell him to go for it.



Thank you... it was what I thought :)

chiefnorm
Posted: Tuesday, September 03, 2013 9:07:34 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 8/14/2011
Posts: 21
Location: United States
Everyone has different reason for having an affair I was in a loveless marrage. I would work 2 or 3 jobs when I came home I had to fix my own meals after I left she would feed the kids ( she didn't work) When I got home from my next job the sink was full of dishes. The good news is when we had are affair we found Love and after being together for 10 years married for 8 we are still very much in love.
Willyc2licu
Posted: Tuesday, September 03, 2013 9:19:33 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/30/2012
Posts: 334
Location: United Kingdom
I take it that the difference between an affair and extramarital sex or swinging is that the two people involved fall in love, and so it becomes about much more than sex. This kind of relationship is the real marriage breaker since the party having the affair wants to spend all their time with their lover to the exclusion of their spouse. This can happen when the guilty party still loves their spouse, it is just that their feeling fro their lover are much more intense, and the sex is therefore much more exciting. A particularly vulnerable time for men is when the children are still young and the wife's attention is focussed on them more than her husband. My advice is, only indulge in extra marital sex if your marriage is very strong, and preferably wait until the children have left home when you will have much m,ore freedom to experiment.

Inseminating Sandy - Susie initiates Sandy into the pleasures of a threesome
A Tale of Two Threesomes


drillsarge2
Posted: Tuesday, September 03, 2013 6:13:10 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/8/2013
Posts: 135
Location: United States
Thanks for the responses so far. You know, I have been married for many years, the children are out on their own, the love in the relationship is strong. But, the what if...that's the reason for the post in the first place. I don't think I'm looking for an affair or a quickie - this doesn't seem to be the type of website that would facilitate those kinds of extracurricular activities. I just wonder, how it has been for others? I am thankful for my faithful wife and the intimacy that we share.
secretgem69
Posted: Tuesday, September 03, 2013 8:04:53 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/13/2013
Posts: 105
Affairs are definitely out of the question for me. A relationship, in my opinion, is love between two people and should be treasured. Adding in extras just makes things messy and hurts people beyond repair sometimes.
psychiee
Posted: Tuesday, September 03, 2013 8:11:30 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 10/19/2012
Posts: 77
Location: Stoke on Trent, United Kingdom
lisad83 wrote:

I'm glad I'm not married to you.


Glad you said that Lisa... couldnt agree more...what gets my wick is the deciet.. I agree with your answer to trinket... if a man thinks he is stuck in a bad marriage .. a loveless one ... not necessorily sex less.. marriage then do the decent thing and separate ... then go and sow your wild oats.. for all any one cares... but deception is despicable..I think... and i am a man...and have NEVER ever decieved any one ... but have been decieved tho... and i am not proud either for being so gullable.... but then we all learn...
Metilda
Posted: Tuesday, September 03, 2013 8:13:14 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/10/2013
Posts: 982
Location: United States
drillsarge2 wrote:
Have you had an affair with a married man? Was it something you would do again? How much are you willing to share? As one who has never had an affair in a lot of years of marriage, but has often considered it, I wonder...


My experience: no matter what happened, no matter how long ago it was, who did what, who didn't do what, you mention a former partner of yours, or you fooled around, while online - and people flip the hell out and jump to all sorts of conclusions.

Which is ridiculous considering the high number of people who claim to have cheated / had an affair.

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drillsarge2
Posted: Tuesday, September 03, 2013 8:19:52 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/8/2013
Posts: 135
Location: United States
I've obviously hit a nerve for some - please accept my apologies...
MadMartigan
Posted: Tuesday, September 03, 2013 8:28:49 PM

Rank: Story Verifier

Joined: 6/17/2013
Posts: 2,095
Location: United States
They piss me off honestly and I have low opinions of those that engage in them. Whether they are the one doing the cheating or the one being the "other person."

Maybe it is because I can relate to people too well and understand the emotions behind them, but...

I can't understand how someone could willingly be the "other woman" or "man". Especially where children are involved. That's the epitome of selfish sleazery. You may not give a shit for the SO, but fucking around with the lives of children...That's low. Real low. And more than likely, the person who's using you as the other woman/man, is just using you as a fuck toy to get their jollies off. I mean, you'd never wanna engage seriously in a relationship with someone like that. They're liable to cheat on you as well if you do.

And god's sake, grow some GD balls (both men and women who "cheat"). If you're in a crappy relationship, man/woman up about it. I guess I can't understand trying something that isn't working. Don't be a bitch and lie about it.

I'm sensitive about these things though I guess. dontknow


Guest
Posted: Tuesday, September 03, 2013 8:41:54 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,325
trinket wrote:
I didn't have an 'affair', I almost had a one-nighter with a married man, his wife was out of town for the weekend. I walked into their living room and there were family photos of him with his wife and children, and many of just his children. I asked him to call me a taxi and I walked out of there. I couldn't do it. I imagined if I were her..... and I didn't want to do that to another woman.



I wanted to add that I did not know he was married until I walked into his living room and saw the photos of his family. If I had known he was married, I would never have considered it.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, September 03, 2013 9:30:15 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,325
trinket wrote:
I wanted to add that I did not know he was married until I walked into his living room and saw the photos of his family. If I had known he was married, I would never have considered it.


SecretGem, Psychiee, NadMartigan, Lisad83, Trinket...you all are my hero's. Cheating, whether yer involved in a sexless marriage or an emotionally void marriage, or whatever your justification for cheating...it is betrayal of the most hurtful kind. Doing the responsible thing FIRST...and then doing whatever you gotta do is the right and proper way. Hey...if ya'all said "I do...for richer or poorer" and all that...doesn't it mean something? It's your word on the line. Or have we gone so far into a McDonalds-like disposable society, an "I do for as long as I shall dig it (smacks gum loudly) and then we will do whatever we want" type of society?

Trinket is my super special hero. That was character in action. Way to go girl.
apainter
Posted: Tuesday, September 03, 2013 9:51:27 PM

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Joined: 10/20/2011
Posts: 21
Location: toronto
All your responses seem very black or white, where are all the shades of grey that define us as human?. Pain love sex devotion pleasure loyalty children friendship desire hope, lust loneliness ect ect all these adjectives describe why someone "has an affair" whatever that patriarchal term is intended to imply. Isn't this website a"type of äffair" in and of itself.
VanGogh
Posted: Tuesday, September 03, 2013 10:01:28 PM

Rank: Sarcastic Coffee Aficionado

Joined: 2/10/2012
Posts: 3,039
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Kristind wrote:


SecretGem, Psychiee, NadMartigan, Lisad83, Trinket...you all are my hero's. Cheating, whether yer involved in a sexless marriage or an emotionally void marriage, or whatever your justification for cheating...it is betrayal of the most hurtful kind. Doing the responsible thing FIRST...and then doing whatever you gotta is the right and proper way. Hey...ya'all said "I do...for richer or poorer" and all that. It's word on the line.

Trinket is my super special hero. That was character in action. Way to go girl.


isn't that nice!! How I love the judgmental tone. coffee

now, just to clarify something ..... when I was involved with a married man ..... I was single. The person cheating was him. I have never cheated on MY partner, but I am sure you don't give a shit on that angle.



A Milf series combined with Office Sex *fans face* .... The Secretary and The Student
starting with The Secretary and The Student - first part

Enjoy!!

For the Anal Lovers .... come enjoy my RR honoured An Alluring Ass

Another Sex in the Office Poem (I know you love those!!) In Your Office

Guest
Posted: Tuesday, September 03, 2013 10:07:22 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,325


Guest
Posted: Tuesday, September 03, 2013 10:10:16 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,325
PersonalAssistant wrote:
isn't that nice!! How I love the judgmental tone. coffee

now, just to clarify something ..... when I was involved with a married man ..... I was single. The person cheating was him. I have never cheated on MY partner, but I am sure you don't give a shit on that angle.


wow...I'm not passing judgement on you PA. I am applauding those who agree that making a vow with another person actually means something. Betrayal is one of the most hurtful feelings anyone will ever have to deal with. Even you said you wouldn't recommend it...and you weren't the one cheated on.
WellMadeMale
Posted: Tuesday, September 03, 2013 10:33:53 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,289
Location: Cakeland, United States
PersonalAssistant wrote:


isn't that nice!! How I love the judgmental tone. coffee

now, just to clarify something ..... when I was involved with a married man ..... I was single. The person cheating was him. I have never cheated on MY partner, but I am sure you don't give a shit on that angle.



Meh, don't let the sanctimonious get to ya, PA. I've walked a coupla miles in your moccasins too. They haven't...or they've been cheated on and were duped and are thus - pissed at themselves for being duped.

I've been cheated on, and I've cheated on women. I've fucked married women who were cheating on their marriage vows cuz they weren't getting any dick at home, or their husbands were out fucking around on them or their husbands or boyfriends decided drinking kegs of beer and growing an extra four chins was more important than ..

You get my drift.

Don't want to get cheated on? Don't be a fucktard to your significant other.

If you don't like that answer...

Then fuck off, it's the truth and that shit hurts worse than anything else, doesn't it?

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
bustyreadhead
Posted: Tuesday, September 03, 2013 10:36:45 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/30/2012
Posts: 192
Location: seattle, United States
whew. too hot for me in here.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, September 04, 2013 1:00:15 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,325
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, September 04, 2013 1:58:36 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,325
apainter wrote:
All your responses seem very black or white, where are all the shades of grey that define us as human?. Pain love sex devotion pleasure loyalty friendship desire hope, lust loneliness ect ect all these adjectives describe why someone "has an affair" whatever that patriarchal term is intended to imply. Isn't this website a"type of äffair" in and of itself.



I would appreciate if you would explain to me how these words describe WHY someone has an affair? Especially 'loyalty' and how an erotic literature site is a "type of affair"? I'm just curious is all and I want to make it clear I'm not judging anyone here btw. None of us know the life circumstances of others or have the right to tell others how to live their lives.

I was sure I posted this earlier in the thread, if a mod is removing my posts, could you please let me know why so I don't repost the same thing?
DutchMike88
Posted: Wednesday, September 04, 2013 2:41:55 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/17/2012
Posts: 118
Location: Netherlands
trinket wrote:



I wanted to add that I did not know he was married until I walked into his living room and saw the photos of his family. If I had known he was married, I would never have considered it.


I fully agree with you here! I kind of live by a Dutch saying.. translated it means something like: Never do anything to an other you would not want to happen to you.

My ex-girlfriend and I are still great friends since we broke up. As of lately she has started dating this other guy.. not extremely serious yet but they're dating and share the bed. Still sometimes when she comes over she tries to indulge in very passionate lovemaking. We've done so since we broke up and also after she had her first date with the guys. But when she started seeing him more often I stopped her every time. Not because I didn't want to, but because I would feel quite bad if I was the guy she was dating currently dating(who fell for her big time).

Wow.. what a morale code here! :P

Anyways.. Don't Cheat, Communicate!
overmykneenow
Posted: Wednesday, September 04, 2013 3:16:32 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/8/2010
Posts: 1,022
Location: United Kingdom
It is an interesting fact that amongst women on Lush, those who are over 34 are FOUR times more likely to be interested in "Wife Lover" stories than those who are under 24.

This would suggest that opinions on the morality of cheating change as people get older. It's not just hair that turns grey, your opinions do too.

Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.

Why not read some stories instead

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Mazza
Posted: Wednesday, September 04, 2013 3:50:39 AM

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Joined: 9/20/2012
Posts: 3,040
Location: Scotland, United Kingdom
Interesting how some threads just polarize people.

While I don't think that cheating is generally a good thing, it really isn't as cut and dried as some people imagine it to be. It can be a lifeline to some. I mean, how many people here on Lush dabble with others who are married or in relationships? Is that cheating? If someone plays with someone who's already involved online, is that cheating? Obviously, if you go out and fuck someone who's already in a relationship it is cheating, but I mean, there are different levels of cheating too, well, I think so.

There are those who cheat just for the fun of it, the game, the thrill. I don't like to see that.

There are those who cheat because there are areas of their life which are lacking in some way. Perhaps it's not quite as straightforward as being able to simply separate in order to pursue their goals?

Life is complicated, not black and white at all. We all have our buttons that can be pushed, differing opinions and motivation, baggage, damage, goals etc.

I think it's important that while our points of view may be very different, we should try not to be too judgmental of others - you can never really know a person or what they're going through.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, September 04, 2013 4:00:23 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,325
I have, and I really enjoyed it. The way he treated me, the things he would do to me mmmm,
I would do it again in a heartbeat.
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