I got asked a great question and wanted to make it a topic here to get some feedback.
Is a Brat a real Sub? They assert themselves sexually. They don't always do as they're told. Does it feel like a deeper submission when you make your Dom fight for it?
I've been told by a Dom that he sees Brats as being more trouble than they're worth. When you act like a Brat, is there something you do to redeem yourself? Is there something that Brats bring to the table that makes them worth the struggle? Are there men who specifically look for Brats? Have you ever been rejected or broken up with because you're a Brat?
When I first got into the kink scene, I thought I was a Brat. I liked to tease, act playful, and be silly. I've found out that being a Brat is more and not me. I'm playful but I'll do as I'm told with the drop of a hat. I know I'm not a Brat but I've always been curious about the dynamic and how it plays out.
Any on-topic contribution will be appreciated.
I have alwys been called a brat, I love to tease and prod, just to see how far i can push my Master until he lets me have my just deserts. The feeling of not knowing exactly how far i can push drives me sexually NUTS.
I believe that this is also called a SAM. A Smart-Ass- Masochist...
"When its too kinky for everybody else, its just gettin' good for me."
(Kinky Freedman)
Are brats a "real" sub? I guess that depends on who you ask or the write-up you read. So I will leave that answer for each person to determine for themselves.
To me, I view them as controlling people who simply love to be dominated with a fight (nothing wrong with that, if that is what you are into). To me, I see them as liking the IDEA of being a sub, but don't truly want to give up what they consider their power and control. I think the whole process is one of THEM controlling the partner and getting exactly what THEY want, but they try to disguise it (even to themselves) as something else because in the end they are in a "submissive" position (this is also known as one of the ways one can "top from the bottom"). To me, simply being controlled and dominated in the end does not make you a "sub" by default, it makes you dominated and controlled (and there is a difference, IMO). I think they (brats) get a sexual and emotional high out of the struggle and then release (and I see people in "normal" relationships do this all the time as well). And the Doms or partners who enjoy them, imo, get the same from the relationship. I view their final sexual submission as a submission behavior but not the behavior of a "sub"; it is simply the end to the power play which the brat actually controlled. To ME, I believe that a sub WILLINGLY and without a FIGHT, submits to their Dom. There is not a power struggle, nor IMO should there be. So the whole "brat" thing, to me, just does not work well in traditional D/s relationships. I think that is why many Doms (as the one you talked to) view brats as more trouble than they are worth. But I am sure, like many aspects of BDSM, views on this vary and you will find folks who disagree completely.
If you ARE a brat though, it is best to let prospective Dom(s) know this right away (if they have not already figured it out). It can be very frustrating (understatement) to have someone represent/present themselves as one thing, only to find out shortly after that they are NOT what they profess to be. As pointed out, there are Doms that simply do not enjoy the constant struggle or "maintenance" required of a brat. There are, however, people who DO. So again, it comes down to having a good match and being honest with each other. And I will also point out that a lot of couples fall within a range of behaviors or "titles" and are not fixed in one or the other; much like sexuality in general. What degree certain aspects or personality traits are seen is often different and can be fluid, and even change.
I dont think brats are real submissives, they just like getting their way. They say they are submissive for whatever reason, but like the struggle and trying to top from the bottom. Maybe it makes em more switch. I dunno. I just dont think they are a true submissive who wants to obey and be a good submissive.
†Jinxy Approved†
Being a brat and a sub seem to be synonymous. Being a brat lets the dom do her thing.
I would love to work with a brat. Challenge is good.
I guess I've been lucky, even before I signed with my two, I never played with a true Brat, but I've heard of a few. Sorry, topping from the bottom is not acceptable to me and if I had found one, she'd have been out the door so fast...
Let me try to say it differently... what a brat does in BDSM is not the Alpha Challenge. The brat's control extends past issues of conflict and apparent control. They dictate and lead the relationship and dynamic, in both times of struggle AND in times of conflict. The Alpha Challenge is a game that is played by some, yes, but is not really a part of the D/s dynamic involving brats. It can LOOK that way, but only if you ONLY focus on times of conflict. In the BDSM community, the brat is the one in control... or attempting to be.... in both conflict and peace.
As for a "Brat" being a "real/true" sub. ??? I don't know.
As for a "Brat" being a Switch? I do not know either.
As for Alpha Challenge Games? (???) or other stuff, all I know is this forum is for BDSM...
Relationships as a whole have Alpha/Beta, they also have S/M to whatever degree... whether someone is aware or not and Uke/Seme...Top/Bottom, etc.
"Games" are different than the BDSM community & actually knowing who you are and your natural personality and understanding that when you come into the BDSM fold. It's not about games... not really. It is more about having come to terms or coming to that understanding within in the MORE indepth BDSM scope of things. Games you can turn on or off and come and go and change, change rules, but BDSM is more of a lifestyle. Mild or hardcore is a personal thing - WITHIN BDSM, not just a personna or mask.
I do not know as all the same rules apply
It is not merely casual sex like ordinary sleeping around nor would I think like a gay bar scene or a London Boots club...there is what seems to me more of a "general" responsibility and understanding of that where I think that makes BDSM a bit more complex.
For me a brat is not a submissive they're a brat, and that's it.
A sub/little may have a bad day/mood/PMS whatever and that's normal, but to purposefully challenge - nah! That's a brat.
Only ever had one brat to deal with.
I finally settled her down by saying:
"If you're good I have a surprise for you."
"Really?"
"Yep."
"What, what, what?"
"First you have to out on this blindfold"
And she did. Then I took to her house.
Out of the car. Gave her a kiss.
Opened her front door, put her inside, pull the screen door closed
"Now you wait right here and you'll get your surprise."
"What, what, what is it?"
I went to my car, got in and yelled out, "SURPRISE" and drove away.
Never saw her again.
Or IF I was a brat. Its great to know not only for myself but for him too. Because then he knows how to do things. What ways to take control and what ways to punish and what ways to have fun. 
