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What kind of love have you got? Options · View
NightMan
Posted: Tuesday, January 07, 2014 11:28:58 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/30/2013
Posts: 141
Location: United States
love3 True Love. Have you ever had it. Not just ordinary love but that I would die for you love. I thought once I had it but I was just fooling myself. Truth is other than my children ( Paternal instinct )I have never really felt that kind of love for anyone.I realize this now. I feel like I have missed out on something special, almost like failing at life, So the Question is: Have You ever found true love or like me only experienced lust and/or infatuation?sad1
asleep
Posted: Tuesday, January 07, 2014 11:40:03 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 12/30/2011
Posts: 3,215
Location: United States
Yes...and it really about destroyed me when she left the marriage.

http://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-stories/exit-33-trust.aspx

Guest
Posted: Wednesday, January 08, 2014 12:33:32 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,826
I thought I had found it too. Same as you though, I was just fooling myself.
NightMan
Posted: Wednesday, January 08, 2014 12:35:59 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/30/2013
Posts: 141
Location: United States
Sorry to hear that asleep mine divorced me too. I felt a lot of anger even though I knew it was inevitable.I hate to admit it but it was mostly about what we fought over throughout most of our 23 year marriage, Money!angry9
NightMan
Posted: Thursday, January 09, 2014 5:06:14 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/30/2013
Posts: 141
Location: United States
Wildcat wrote:
I thought I had found it too. Same as you though, I was just fooling myself.


It's no surprise women experience the same insights as men.Having it confirmed helps though. Thanks for posting.Hugs
NightMan
Posted: Thursday, January 09, 2014 7:28:02 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/30/2013
Posts: 141
Location: United States
I wonder why lush buries some posts like this while they leave others up forever.Brick wall
Ruthie
Posted: Thursday, January 09, 2014 10:27:41 PM

Rank: Story Verifier

Joined: 10/21/2010
Posts: 2,402
Location: United States
NightMan wrote:
I wonder why lush buries some posts like this while they leave others up forever.Brick wall


This one is still up. You didn't get many replies to your original post, so the post moved down the list as people replied to other posts. Those posts rose to the top position. Just as this one will when I click the post button.

And yes, I have found true love.
NightMan
Posted: Friday, January 10, 2014 12:35:24 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/30/2013
Posts: 141
Location: United States
Ruthie wrote:


This one is still up. You didn't get many replies to your original post, so the post moved down the list as people replied to other posts. Those posts rose to the top position. Just as this one will when I click the post button.

And yes, I have found true love.


OK so explain this. Writing A whole novel has not had A post since Dec.15 It's still on the main page.I had A post day before yesterday & was archived today.The only reason it's back up now is because I posted on it today.It will probably be archived again tomorrow.And writing A whole novel will probably still be on the main page.Next question how can people comment on it if they never see it ?
This is only 1 example there are others read the main page dates.Read it
hayley
Posted: Friday, January 10, 2014 11:57:29 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/19/2012
Posts: 608
Location: NYC, United States
NightMan wrote:
love3 True Love. Have you ever had it. Not just ordinary love but that I would die for you love. I thought once I had it but I was just fooling myself. Truth is other than my children ( Paternal instinct )I have never really felt that kind of love for anyone.I realize this now. I feel like I have missed out on something special, almost like failing at life, So the Question is: Have You ever found true love or like me only experienced lust and/or infatuation?sad1


ok i'm just 20.. so when I say I have.. people laugh.. seems I have to age considerably to be allowed the privilege ..... and yes I have experienced lust [I was a teenager until a few months ago Embarassed ] and a schoolgirl to boot.. which involves infatuation no end [had my share of crushes Embarassed Embarassed ] ... so I actually know the difference..

seems older people.. who, I suspect, have never experienced it [not a dig at u sweet NightMan] .. decry younger people who claim they have found it.. like patting a child on the head with perfect condescension.. .
yes, Love comes in many degrees.. True Love remains while all the rest fade and die.. and no matter what happens.. good or bad or downright terrible.. it just lasts.. it never goes.. it makes distance irrelevant .. circumstance inconsequential .. trust absolute.... it can be absolute joy and absolute misery all in a heartbeat ... but no matter how deep the pain.. the Love remains...
yes.. I have found it..
lanne
Posted: Saturday, January 11, 2014 1:26:40 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/4/2014
Posts: 274
Location: Ba Sing Se
true love? I think I've found it. though it is a love-hate relationship with a LOT of fights.
Ruthie
Posted: Saturday, January 11, 2014 3:16:02 PM

Rank: Story Verifier

Joined: 10/21/2010
Posts: 2,402
Location: United States
NightMan wrote:


OK so explain this. Writing A whole novel has not had A post since Dec.15 It's still on the main page.I had A post day before yesterday & was archived today.The only reason it's back up now is because I posted on it today.It will probably be archived again tomorrow.And writing A whole novel will probably still be on the main page.Next question how can people comment on it if they never see it ?
This is only 1 example there are others read the main page dates.Read it


On the main forum page, whichever post has been posted on most recently is listed by the category in which it is posted. When I post this, this thread will be shown on the Think Tank until someone else posts on another thread in this category. When they do, whatever thread that they are posting on will appear on the front page.

When nobody posts on a thread in a category, such as Site / Forum Guidelines, for awhile, whatever post was last posted on that category remains in place. In the case of Site / Forum Guidelines, the last post was made on August 30, 2013.

When people click on Think Tank rather than just the post listed, the Think Tank page opens. Your thread is in sixth place on that page now. When I post this is will, temporarily, move up to first. If someone posts on a thread right after that, their thread will move to number one, and yours will move into second position.

You can't expect your thread to be always on the main forum page. It will only appear on the main forum page as long as nobody else has posted anything on that category.
kornslayer1
Posted: Saturday, January 11, 2014 7:11:28 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/1/2011
Posts: 603
Location: Mishawaka, United States
Well, I say true love, because I'm in a long distance relationship. It's been nearly 4 years now, and I still love her more than anything, or anyone, expect my mom and sister.

Thanks for reading, or looking at my posts, now go to my profile, and check out my stories.
If you have, thanks for reading. It's always appreciated. I know I don't have a Recommended read, or Editors choice for you to choose from, but I think you'll be happy with any story you choose. I write the way I write, and try my best. I know a lot of you like my stories that was in the removed category, but I hope you can appreciate the rest of them. Check this one out.
http://www.lushstories.com/stories/taboo/my-step-brother-wants-me.aspx
niki1993
Posted: Saturday, January 11, 2014 7:25:26 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 8/23/2012
Posts: 85
Location: United States
hayley wrote:


ok i'm just 20.. so when I say I have.. people laugh.. seems I have to age considerably to be allowed the privilege ..... and yes I have experienced lust [I was a teenager until a few months ago Embarassed ] and a schoolgirl to boot.. which involves infatuation no end [had my share of crushes Embarassed Embarassed ] ... so I actually know the difference..

seems older people.. who, I suspect, have never experienced it [not a dig at u sweet NightMan] .. decry younger people who claim they have found it.. like patting a child on the head with perfect condescension.. .
yes, Love comes in many degrees.. True Love remains while all the rest fade and die.. and no matter what happens.. good or bad or downright terrible.. it just lasts.. it never goes.. it makes distance irrelevant .. circumstance inconsequential .. trust absolute.... it can be absolute joy and absolute misery all in a heartbeat ... but no matter how deep the pain.. the Love remains...
yes.. I have found it..


I'm also only 20, and people have laughed at me too, but you know, what who cares. I have found true love, and he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. In fact we are getting married next weekend.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, January 12, 2014 6:51:27 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,826
Yes I have and experience it in abundance everyday. I do think that just because a relationship doesn't work it doesn't mean the love wasn't true while it lasted.
jdmagic
Posted: Sunday, January 12, 2014 10:17:44 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 10/2/2012
Posts: 53
Location: Seattle area, United States
Yes, I have. And after 20 some years, she died. I often pose the old question to myself: is it better to have loved and lost, or to never have loved at all? and my answer is obvious to me: to have loved and lost…
Bobsadventures2013
Posted: Monday, January 13, 2014 2:39:31 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 8/28/2013
Posts: 85
Location: Australia
I feel I have the deepest and most emotional love any one could have for a partner right at this moment. It has taken me several girlfriends, 1 marriage of 12 years, and around 30 years to accidentally find her(I believe it was fate that drew us together) Read my story about us and tell me what you think. An unexpected meeting of two souls ( How I met my soulmate )
sprite
Posted: Monday, January 13, 2014 2:52:23 AM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 14,662
Location: My Tower, United States
Ruthie wrote:


This one is still up. You didn't get many replies to your original post, so the post moved down the list as people replied to other posts. Those posts rose to the top position. Just as this one will when I click the post button.

And yes, I have found true love.


shush. you promised not to tell. Embarassed

http://www.lushstories.com/stories/hardcore/west-coast-games-part-one-the-beach.aspx
NightMan
Posted: Monday, January 13, 2014 3:44:05 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/30/2013
Posts: 141
Location: United States
jdmagic wrote:
Yes, I have. And after 20 some years, she died. I often pose the old question to myself: is it better to have loved and lost, or to never have loved at all? and my answer is obvious to me: to have loved and lost…


I think there may be A misunderstanding here.The thing I came to realize is that I have never felt true love for anyone else. I thought I did once but came to the conclusion that I never did. It wasn't for lack of trying, I just realized I never could put anyone before my self totally. So if it came down to giving my life to save hers, I probably wouldn't have been able to make the sacrifice.I guess that makes me A selfish bastard. I never meant to be that way or ever realized it until now.dontknow
So if you believe you truly love some one. This would be A good time to take An honest look inside. I hope you don't find what I found. ( So I guess the question should have been. Have you ever truly loved someone? )

"I can't make you love me if you don't. You can't make your heart feel something it wont. Here in the dark in these final hours. I will lay down my heart & I'LL feel the power. But you wont, no you wont."
( Bonnie Raith ) Good luck young lovers.Big Hugs
avrgblkgrl
Posted: Monday, January 13, 2014 6:58:17 AM

Rank: Story Verifier

Joined: 9/28/2011
Posts: 634
Location: Look up, I'm the one smiling., United States
I think that your "idea" of what true love is changes as you get older. I can honestly say that I was truly in love in my early 20's. It was the kind of love that made your heart ache. I would have willingly sacrificed anything for him. Was that type of love a good thing for me? No. I still love that person. We can talk to each other on a level that we can't talk to other people because we "know" each other in the deepest sense. I don't have to explain why I do things, because he knew me when and knows how it has shaped how I evolved. We have a child together.

Of course, after you have children love takes on a totally new shape. Just the thought of the love I have for my children can bring me to tears. They taught me how to love, just not to fall into it. I'd fight to the death for them and everything I have is theirs.

I've been married for 1 year, second marriage for both. Both of us swore off marriage a long time ago, disillusioned and hurt. We were friends with benefits for quite a while and fought hard to just keep it that way. But, we were being monogamous and wanting to be together more than apart. We lived 2 hours away. Is it love? Yes. Mature. Truly supportive. Healthy. Sexilicious. Respectful. We are good together and independently. That's love. Money isn't a problem--Gawd that helps.


My latest Poem explores the power of submission--A Recommended Read:




~Sit back and enjoy several voice readings of my poetry too~
GardenerGuy
Posted: Wednesday, January 15, 2014 11:06:20 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/29/2013
Posts: 1,092
Location: Victoria, BC
great - now that Eagles tune is stuck in my head because of the title of this thread.

there were two relationships where I've experienced *varying degrees* of what I *think* is true, almost unconditional love, but I'm sure the next woman in my life will once again re-define that word for me.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, January 15, 2014 11:25:20 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,826
titaniumcufflinks wrote:
great - now that Eagles tune is stuck in my head because of the title of this thread.

there were two relationships where I've experienced *varying degrees* of what I *think* is true, almost unconditional love, but I'm sure the next woman in my life will once again re-define that word for me.

All your friends are on the expectation. Who will be? lol "kidding"
Romantically speaking I do not believe that love truly exists,
but a passion that may clear without friendship, reciprocal respect and admiration.
BelleduJour
Posted: Wednesday, January 15, 2014 4:24:32 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/13/2011
Posts: 1,509
Location: Canada
I did find amazing love with when I married my ex husband. As already echoed, the failure of that union and subsequent death of "the dream" was one of the most painful experiences of my life even though I was the one that ended things. I was bruised and beaten and exhausted and jaded and became cynical about love for a long while after my break-up. Thankfully, I did the work that was needed to better myself and managed to heal a lot of old wounds and make peace with it all.

These days, I'm so grateful to have found love again for the second time.

NightMan
Posted: Thursday, January 16, 2014 1:17:27 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/30/2013
Posts: 141
Location: United States
avrgblkgrl wrote:
I think that your "idea" of what true love is changes as you get older. I can honestly say that I was truly in love in my early 20's. It was the kind of love that made your heart ache. I would have willingly sacrificed anything for him. Was that type of love a good thing for me? No. I still love that person. We can talk to each other on a level that we can't talk to other people because we "know" each other in the deepest sense. I don't have to explain why I do things, because he knew me when and knows how it has shaped how I evolved. We have a child together.

Of course, after you have children love takes on a totally new shape. Just the thought of the love I have for my children can bring me to tears. They taught me how to love, just not to fall into it. I'd fight to the death for them and everything I have is theirs.

I've been married for 1 year, second marriage for both. Both of us swore off marriage a long time ago, disillusioned and hurt. We were friends with benefits for quite a while and fought hard to just keep it that way. But, we were being monogamous and wanting to be together more than apart. We lived 2 hours away. Is it love? Yes. Mature. Truly supportive. Healthy. Sexilicious. Respectful. We are good together and independently. That's love. Money isn't a problem--Gawd that helps.


I don't think age has much to do with it. I have been divorced 10 years & it has given me A lot of time to reflect on my life. During that time I have met others too but nothing.Honest examination of myself has convinced me that I'M just not capable.True love requires giving up of one's self to become Us instead of Me. And I just can't seem to give up the me.I spent A life time trying to put others before myself.( Wife & children) Tried as hard as I could but could never manage to give up the me totally.It took many years but I think she figured that out eventually herself.And that was the beginning of the end. Unfortunately it took me A lot longer to admit the truth to myself.Perhaps "To thy own self be true" Wasn't such A bad concept after all. dontknow
avrgblkgrl
Posted: Thursday, January 16, 2014 8:04:59 AM

Rank: Story Verifier

Joined: 9/28/2011
Posts: 634
Location: Look up, I'm the one smiling., United States
NightMan wrote:


I don't think age has much to do with it. I have been divorced 10 years & it has given me A lot of time to reflect on my life. During that time I have met others too but nothing.Honest examination of myself has convinced me that I'M just not capable.True love requires giving up of one's self to become Us instead of Me. And I just can't seem to give up the me.I spent A life time trying to put others before myself.( Wife & children) Tried as hard as I could but could never manage to give up the me totally.It took many years but I think she figured that out eventually herself.And that was the beginning of the end. Unfortunately it took me A lot longer to admit the truth to myself.Perhaps "To thy own self be true" Wasn't such A bad concept after all. dontknow


___________________________________________________________________________________
You may be being too hard on yourself. I'd like to think that if someone was pointing a gun over in our direction you would at least scream get down before you try to save yourself. That means that you do have some form of natural affection. Therefore, able to love.

If how you feel about yourself is an absolute, I would guess that in your case age would not play a role in your ability to truly love someone. In love there is a certain amount of give and take. You seem to agree with this. I've always been the type of person willing to extend myself on the behalf of love from an early age. I have always desired what it offered in return. I basked in it, both from my lovers and from my children. Even when it only lasts for a short while, I wish that type of happiness for other people. Without it, I think they have missed out on one of the truly beautiful things that makes living worth the effort. And, life takes effort. Someone that loves you does not request that you abandon yourself for them. That isn't what love means. But, you can't be so obssessed with maintaining your seperate identity that you can't let someone close or even bother to extend your inner self to them. (Hmmm, I feel that may be grounded in insecurity verses inner security. My opinion though, so it's not worth much.) Nope, then you will never experience love and I feel sorry for the people that may try to love someone like that. Specifically, I feel sorry for children that find themselves parented by someone more interested in "saving themselves" than extending everything that they are to their offspring. That is the sadest type of love to do without. I'm not trying to be mean or judgemental. You may have had something in your life that made being selfish in that area of your life necessary, rather for sanity or just survival. Those types of situations do exist and they are sad as well. You can't judge someone until you have had to survive that way. I'm blessed, I have not.

But :), you know yourself. And, if that satisfies you, you are fine--I suppose even happy. Of course, that would possibly be why you started this thread? Are you happy.

Be true to who you are.

I told one of my students one time: There is nothing wrong with being a dog [in relationships] as long as you let the other person know that's what you are. Then whatever happens you can say, "I told you I was a dog. What were you expecting?" You might want to consider that as you move forward. It would have saved your wife a lot of time, and you too. Sometimes that's what a woman wants at that stage in her life--a dog. Then those two people are perfect for one another. I'm not saying your a dog. No, that's just an example.

I think too much. It's just a stupid thread.

Big Hugs

My latest Poem explores the power of submission--A Recommended Read:




~Sit back and enjoy several voice readings of my poetry too~
LovingHer17
Posted: Thursday, January 16, 2014 8:31:49 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 8/19/2012
Posts: 69
Location: Miami, United States
The kinda Love i have is the caring,compassionate kinda Love,either if it's for a friend,my family,a lover in my life.Either way I'm going to have love for them might not be the same kinda love for each one,but it all contains the same feelings.I admit I am a sucker when it comes to loving someone,but that's just cause I have a lot to give.I know there is a balance between to much and not enough love in any relationship.I know putting all your energy in one person can leave you feeling drained.

I'm not shy when it comes to giving someone some sugar,that I really care about. Hugs LMAO!
SweetPain
Posted: Thursday, January 16, 2014 10:47:26 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 9/23/2013
Posts: 14
No,never. I marroed young for a person that has no emotional sences and makes fun of people that show their emotions. I knew he was like that, but back then i was heart broken and thought that its better to have an emotionless but loyal relationship, than search for true love. I dont know the deffinition of true love, but i know that if its not mad, extraordinary and passionate its not worth it..
NightMan
Posted: Saturday, January 18, 2014 1:29:50 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/30/2013
Posts: 141
Location: United States
avrgblkgrl wrote:


___________________________________________________________________________________
You may be being too hard on yourself. I'd like to think that if someone was pointing a gun over in our direction you would at least scream get down before you try to save yourself. That means that you do have some form of natural affection. Therefore, able to love.

If how you feel about yourself is an absolute, I would guess that in your case age would not play a role in your ability to truly love someone. In love there is a certain amount of give and take. You seem to agree with this. I've always been the type of person willing to extend myself on the behalf of love from an early age. I have always desired what it offered in return. I basked in it, both from my lovers and from my children. Even when it only lasts for a short while, I wish that type of happiness for other people. Without it, I think they have missed out on one of the truly beautiful things that makes living worth the effort. And, life takes effort. Someone that loves you does not request that you abandon yourself for them. That isn't what love means. But, you can't be so obssessed with maintaining your seperate identity that you can't let someone close or even bother to extend your inner self to them. (Hmmm, I feel that may be grounded in insecurity verses inner security. My opinion though, so it's not worth much.) Nope, then you will never experience love and I feel sorry for the people that may try to love someone like that. Specifically, I feel sorry for children that find themselves parented by someone more interested in "saving themselves" than extending everything that they are to their offspring. That is the sadest type of love to do without. I'm not trying to be mean or judgemental. You may have had something in your life that made being selfish in that area of your life necessary, rather for sanity or just survival. Those types of situations do exist and they are sad as well. You can't judge someone until you have had to survive that way. I'm blessed, I have not.

But :), you know yourself. And, if that satisfies you, you are fine--I suppose even happy. Of course, that would possibly be why you started this thread? Are you happy.

Be true to who you are.

I told one of my students one time: There is nothing wrong with being a dog [in relationships] as long as you let the other person know that's what you are. Then whatever happens you can say, "I told you I was a dog. What were you expecting?" You might want to consider that as you move forward. It would have saved your wife a lot of time, and you too. Sometimes that's what a woman wants at that stage in her life--a dog. Then those two people are perfect for one another. I'm not saying your a dog. No, that's just an example.

I think too much. It's just a stupid thread.

Big Hugs


No I'M not being hard on myself just coming to accept the truth about myself.And your wrong If I saw someone with A gun I would duck first & warn others second.Sorry that's just the kind of person I am. I would take A bullet for my children But that in itself would be to selfishly protect my bloodline.Besides The worse pain you can ever experience is to out live your children.sad1
As for being Happy, I would say no but I'M content with my life. Now if I won the Mega Millions lottery I would be ecstatic.dancenude
Dirty_D
Posted: Saturday, January 18, 2014 10:55:33 AM

Rank: Head Nurse

Joined: 4/15/2011
Posts: 7,230
Location: Soaking up the sun, United States
I don't think that not ducking first means you don't love another person. The self preservation instinct is a strong one!

Myself I have been in love a few times. I was married to a man I loved. It was not a die for you love. But it was a solid contentment.

I have a couple girlfriends I love. Again, I would not die for them. but I love them. I have family I can barely tolerate, yet I still love them. I have an ex bf I love, I don't want to date him again, but I still love him. Love is one of the most complicated things to define and pin down.

According to the dictionary these are the different definitions of love. I notice dying for someone is not listed :D
an intense feeling of deep affection.
a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone.
a great interest and pleasure in something.
a person or thing that one loves.
a friendly form of address.
used to express affectionate approval for someone.
(in tennis, squash, and some other sports) a score of zero; nil.
feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone).
like very much; find pleasure in.




BlueEyes031886
Posted: Monday, January 20, 2014 6:51:48 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 12/19/2012
Posts: 13
Location: United States
I love the responses in here. I wish I could have a direct conversation with every one of you! As for true love, I think Aristotle actually has a lot to offer, saying that we must first be friends, and that being friend means to wish for and do good for the other for their own sake, as opposed to doing good for them in order to gain some benefit for ourselves. My general story:

I grew up in a home that was pretty severely emotionally and psychologically abusive. Like it or not, it shaped what I thought it meant to receive love and to give love,as everyone's environment does. I used to have a hard time relating this to people who grew up in a home that nurtured their basic human self. I think people take for granted that they weren't raised to believe they are an insult to the universe, or even to question their self worth.

The first time I thought I was in love, I was just emotionally dependent on my partner. I was 16. Suicide was the plan after that one. The second time i thought I was in love, I was just an arrogant possessive prick out of boot camp supercharged with testosterone and thinking I had to die to prove my love. I lost her quick. Martyrdom in Iraq was the plan after that one. Anyone who has done the research will tell you that, given my background, it was 10 times more likely that I would become abusive in my relationships, and that's what happened in both of these cases.

I spent the next 7 years of my life single... learning about myself, taking responsibility for my life, and dealing with my past.

A couple years ago I was dating a girl who I think I actually succeeded in loving. Unfortunately, I was not ready to be "in love". I tried to make the point to her that I was NOT ready to fall in love, that I was doing some serious internal work and often shared my progress with her, and frequently commented that I wasn't the idealized version of me that she saw. I wanted to know that she saw me for all of my strengths and all of my flaws. I couldn't get that point across to her in time and she left me. Ironically she left me because she thought I wanted to leave her, and even pointing out that I didn't seemed to only strengthen her conviction to not work things out. She had a thing about not contradicting herself or exposing her own errors. I was devastated. It was kind of weird that even after dating a short time we had connected so well that anywhere we went people assumed we had been together for 6 years. It felt like I had lost someone I was with for 6 years. As tragic as it was to lose her, it was a turning point for me. As a result of the heartache and everything I learned about myself I found closure about a lot of things that have happened in my life. I worry about her a lot. In any case, I had achieved what I set out to do, and that was to love her and myself, and care about what's good for both of us. Her for her own sake and me for my own sake. It was like the lonely years of my life leading up to that relationship were about becoming a better person so that I could be better for her. I think I still love her, although I don't know if I could ever date her again just because of how she ended things.

Two years later I'm still single although I have dated some friends, and I've begun volunteering as an advocate at a domestic violence shelter. Realizing how far I've come in my life I've started to consider that I may actually be worth loving, that it's now safe to love me, and that I may actually be capable of loving again. Until then, I'll just keep doing good in the world.
thor12300
Posted: Monday, January 20, 2014 8:37:10 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/3/2013
Posts: 113
Location: Poole, United Kingdom
Yes. With my wife, I truly loved and worshiped her but like most good things I dont think she felt the same and unfortunately after 11 years we split up. Luckily with no children. Since then i dont think there has ever been true love just a hope of it. I think i shut that door when I left my wife. :(
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