Hello every one, I'm 19 and a freshman in college and I just wanted to know how long do you think too long to be a virgin? I don't really think I'm an ugly (I don't think) but never really had much luck with women. I've had had a few sexual encounters like naked pics and fingered a girl but never gotten the chance to actually have sex. As i grow closer to being 20 and I grow more and more concerned about it. Should I be?
Don't be concerned. It's not a race, its about relationships and it's worth taking time over. Sure, people do make a song and dance about sex, which makes you wonder if you are inadequate. But, in case it isn't obvious, a good deal of that posturing is all about flaunting social status - as measured by sexual success. Like any other kind of social competition, making other people feel bad about themselves and unable to measure up is all part of the ridiculous game.
But don't take this as saying that it is OK to sit back passively and vaguely hope that things will happen, either! Get into the habit of dressing well, expressing yourself well, listening to people, making yourself an attractive person to hang out with. And figure out how to make someone else understand that you're interested in them.
[I wish someone had said this to me thirty-something years ago!]
I used to think 22 was too long.
But more people are waiting until married, as maybe they once did but now it is for reasons becauses expectation or the norm. They may wait for love, committment, that right person, whether for personal or religious reasons/vows... and more persons are also marrying later on purpose than has been in the past.
Trends are changing.
It SHOULD be whenever YOU are ready (not a set time expectation or demand).
I say it should be when people want AND ot is a personal choice, so that is your own choice~ some people "want" and are not ready or prepared. I encourage you to try your best to be BOTH, emotionally and physically, etc. (Contraceptives, protection, emotionally ready). I suppose that is part of the risk, like marriage, and like children, even WITH planning, some people are really not ready or are not really prepared. We are not born with skills at anything but crying and making a mess, lol, so in order to support your desire and need, I think that you should ask yourself what it is you are wanting and looking for and "how" you want it to be.
I promote safe sex.
Do you want love or lust?
Either way, my views have changed, and we can often change our views, so be aware of that, in what you may want now vs. looking back in rettrospect. I express to people that they will always remember their first time- whether it is good or bad. They may also remember the person and their motives, so choose to make it SPECIAL... something you will want to remember and recall with a fondness if that is something that seems right.
*whether you end up with another virgin (at the time -both of you) or someone more experienced I hope they will be considerate of YOUR feelings, (and if nervous) and that you will be their considerate to them. VERY Important. I think communication is key or understanding each other, being on the same page about where you are at and what you like, don't like, want. You kinda have to open up and be free about things and let go- and that is the scary & GREAT thing that makes intimacy & sex so intimate & personal: risk and exploring possibilities
Until the end of your life I guess.
If you make it to 50, that's a pretty good haul.
Take your time, find the right person, and you'll enjoy it all the more. Sure, you could just rush into a relationship or have a quickie hook-up just to get it over with but that wouldn't be as enjoyable in the long haul or leave as many great memories. I'm saying this as someone who didn't "lose it" until I was 24 and in my one and only great romance (which has cooled off but is far from dead).
I was 22 when i lost my virginity, that was long enough i thought
It's not a race when your ready you will know..
It's not a race when your ready you will know..
It's not a race when your ready you will know..
It's not a race when your ready you will know..
People who don't "have luck" with the opposite sex are often people with "different" personalities. Whether it's good or bad. I know a girl who everyone loves, because of her personality, and she is attractive, but not over the top. Myself on the other hand, I have been called attractive (by a few daring people) but not many people tell me they like me because they are scared of me and I have a... really mean personality (TBH)
To answer your question: I think you should stay a virgin until you are completely ready, which for me is when I am married.
Hello, BlackStar, and welcome to the Lush forum (I see this is your first post).
I was your age when I lost my virginity, and it was something I used to worry about a lot. I used to think that it would get to the point where it had been so long that no woman would even want to go near me, and I wouldn't know what to do with any that did. I started to feel like that again after a very long "dry spell" which ended recently.
However, what I have realised is that you don't have to worry, because it will happen with the right person at the right time, quite naturally. Just enjoy your life as it is, meet interesting people, pursue romantic interests, if any. Don't agonise about sex, and don't let your preoccupation with it drive your social interactions. Just trust in the fact that it will happen for you and it will be fantastic.
There is no set time for it being too long. The right time is when you are with someone you care about, are happy and comfortable and it will feel right and natural. Don't worry about it anddon't go looking for it. Just be available, be yourself, enjoy your life and the people in it and it will happen at the right time.
I lost mine too young I feel, I wish I had waited longer.
While I hate to sound cliche, there's no correct answer I can give to that question. Any advice any of us were to give you would be based on our own perceptions, and many factors that aren't relevant to your life. There is no amount of time that is 'too long' to be a virgin. Personally, I think it's too early if you aren't ready for sex, or don't want to have sex. After that point, it's just up to you.
It doesn't matter if your 19 and still.a virgin. It feels good if you wait for the right person you want to have sex with. What Im saying is its a better and special experience to have sex with the one you live. You can feel the connection and passion when you do it with the one you love.
I went out with a woman that was 40 and a virgin until we started dating. Unfortunately she had too many taboos for me.
Even though I started fairly young (it was right for me) I am not sure there is a "correct" answer. It is right for you when it happens. The only exception I would say, for men and women, is not to wait until you are married. I had a fem friend who was convinced that she had to wait to she was married to loose her virginity. I tried, in a very gentle, reasoned, way, to explain how wrong this could go but she was totally convinced. Last I heard she is still unmarried, no BF and in her late 30's.
Don't wait too long or you could wind up like this c**t Anne Widdecombe.jpg)
