I've been dating Sarah for over a year now and it's been a tough but rewarding year, However now a girl that i've liked for years (Marina) and who's also liked me for years is coming onto me. I like both of the girls and don't want either of them to get hurt. I really don't know what to do ... HELP!
Can you see your self in a long term relationship with either one? Would either one be the one you would want to have children with? Think past the dating and the fun times and see if one or the other fits. If not, then enjoy both! But treat them both with respect and don't play one against the other.
Mmmmm....you have liked Marina FOR YEARS and she has liked you FOR YEARS, but only now after a TOUGH but rewarding year with Sarah, is Marina REALLY interested in you. I don't believe dating should ever be TOUGH, and I can't tell what "rewarding" really means here. But Sarah seems like she might be a pain in the ass (if you really wanted her you wouldn't be asking this stuff) and Marina, assuming she knows about Sarah, a spoiler - I doubt that either of these girls will "get hurt." You probably will though.
If you've liked this other girl for years and she's liked you for years, why are you dating someone else?
I heard a quote once. I'm paraphrasing, but it went something like:
"If you are married and become attracted to another woman, go with the second woman. Because if you are looking for other women, you are not truly happy with the first"
thanks guys for the replies this is why i love lush @cydny i could see things with marina getting serious but im my previous relationships i've always got nervous when it comes to commitment and always looked for a way out. I don't want to be like this with Marina because i don't want to mess it up , i think i will start going out with her at some point i just don't know if now is the time, like @mentalcase says i also dont know is it fair going out with sarah while i like another woman?
@lS63563 we've never been togetehr because i don't want to mess it u and for the last couple of years either one of us have been in relationships
@shannon3k you could be right about sarah its not easy like it should be but then there are times when get along so well i coould never imagine not being with her
Introduce them to each other and see what happens. There could be an interesting experience for you all.
I hope those are not their real names and one of them stumble upon your indecisive dilemma post.
You could STOP being monogamous, change the status of your relationship by telling "Sarah" that you do not wish to be disrespectful or loose her and to keep on growing together (or whatever is true for you) but it feels a little fast and heavy for the time being you wish to step back and sort some things out privately first {loose-ends] and make the relationship open , there is no softer way, (-because you cannot be selfish- she should be be able to see someone else too if she wants to or make her choices, even if that means distancing from you)... because to do it another way is behind her back and could do even more damage, OR you can be faithful to the one you are with, if you made that committment, and not regret not trying with that other person. Just be nice and tell Sarah she is special. You are not tied or in a no choice deal, but our chices are always uncertain and I have picked the WRONG one before and had to quickly mend... IF you understand what I mean ~ neither way is risk free, but I thinik this way makes it easier on you. Tell her you are going to take a break, or else know with certainty in your heart 100% you do not have any doubt or indecision. The fact that you asked this, that tells me you really do not know.
Taking a break is okay. It is especially okay if you do not want to have regrets and need to sort it all out and do not want to let that opportunity with that other girl pass you by. It is VERY okay to respect the relationship enough not to be sneaky or deceitful. She may not like it. It may be sad for her -especpecially of things do go heading toward this other person. It may not feel okay, and she has that right, but at the same time you are not married. Hopefully you would afford her the same chance at happiness. It is tough, but I think "What if's" can haunt people and build resentment, so it is good to be certain and not let your indecisiveness be a cause of vexation when if you handle it well, you may get closure or a firmer grasp on the best decision for you.
Good Luck.
Hi John, you need to add a little more here because, as you state it, there's really no problem. Someone coming onto you is hardly a problem. If you are committed to "Sarah" then you should be clear about that. If however you are finding yourself severely tempted by her attention, then you need to spend a little time figuring out what your feelings are. Then once you know what you want (and that could be tough), it's time to be open and clear with both women - as Kitsune wisely points out.
And, sure, you could lose the trust of one or both women in the process. But that must be their choice to make, not yours. Otherwise any future relations with them are based on a kind of deception and so lack informed consent.
Good luck!
don't listen to any of them. have a threesome. girls dig that kind of thing.
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
