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RumpleForeskin
Posted: Sunday, July 05, 2009 9:45:01 PM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,899
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
Written by me, and submitted for your consideration.


How To Be A Happy Hooker
by Rumple Foreskin

For the benefit of any unsuspecting reader, let me state now that this in NOT an article about how one can become a smiling strumpet. Nope, sorry about that. This assault on good taste and English letters is concerned with the fine art of creating attention grabbing hooks in the opening lines of your next Pushcart Prize winning short story or Nobel Prize contending novel.

For starters, here’s the biggest single rule those eager to create successful hooks should always keep in mind. There is NO single rule that can guarantee success. There are, however, some guidelines that might be of some help, maybe. Here are five.


1. The mission of your first sentence and opening paragraph is to intrigue, not inform, your reader. Don’t fall into the trap of using that priceless piece of writing space to describe people, places or things that can be mentioned later. Consider the following opening line by Nobel Prize winner Gabriel Garcia Marquez.

“Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice.” One Hundred Years of Solitude

The reader doesn’t know who the Colonel is, or any of the other W’s (what, where, when, why). But ask yourself, would including any of that information have made the sentence stronger and the “hook” more compelling?


2. Instead of falling back on description, try to open with action. That doesn’t mean you need to begin with a car chase, shoot-out or at the mid-point of a sex scene. There’s nothing wrong with those, of course, especially here at Lush. It’s just that action doesn’t have to mean frantic activity. Here are a couple examples:

“It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.” 1984, George Orwell

“They shoot the white girl first.” Paradise, Toni Morrison


3. High on the list of things to avoid describing, is the weather. Granted, the opening to 1984 includes a brief mention of the climate. But even if you pull off an Orwellian caliber job, editors, agents, reviewers and other such literary flotsam and jetsam seem predisposed to not liking the practice. No doubt this goes back to the infamous opening line from the novel Paul Clifford by, Edward George Bulwer-Lytton:

“It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents--except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.”


4. One of the better was to intrigue and thereby “hook” readers is to begin with a question. It doesn’t have to be explicit. In fact, implied questions often work best. For instance:

“Nobody was really surprised when it happened, not really, not on the subconscious level where savage things grow.” Carrie, Stephen King

“There once was a boy named Eustace Clarence Scrubb and he almost deserved it.” Voyage of the Dawn Trader, C S Lewis


5. If you feel compelled to use a quote, try to make it very short. The problem with a quote is your reader has no idea who is speaking or the circumstances. Since that can’t be established until the end of an opening quote, if it’s long, there’s a risk readers will stop reading to go back and re-read the quote. Here’s one example of a great short-quote opening:

"Take my camel, dear,” said Aunt Dot as she climbed down from the animal on her return from High Mass. The Towers of Trebizond, Rose Macaulay

That’s all well and good, you say, but what about erotic stories? Glad you asked.

Writing, is writing, no matter the genre. That includes erotica. To quote the great Dooley Wilson, “The fundamental things apply.” Still, when writing fiction intended for Lushstories or lesser sites, there are a couple special items you might want to consider when crafting the opening.

note: The examples that follow are all taken from stories I’ve inflicted on unsuspecting readers. I did this as an act of outrageous hubris and to avoid the challenge of trying to pick good examples from among the works of all the good writers such as those here at Lush, honest.

Shorter works seem to do best when they have a strong, active opening. There are many, award-winning, money-making exceptions to that rule-of-thumb and the opening does not necessarily have to be in a sex scene. For instance the first example (incest) hints at what may be about to happen, while the second (Wife Lovers) opens in the middle of all the action.

“Horny, nervous, and half-naked, Kelly Layton peeked through the open bedroom door. Inside, her kid brother lay stretched out on his unmade bed, reading a paperback.”
More Than Sisterly Interest (now appearing on Lush @ http://www.lushstories.com/stories/incest/more-than-sisterly-interest.aspx

“Donna Faircloth, newly minted nurse and young wife, was getting gloriously fucked. Waves of ecstasy surged through her writhing body as the powerfully built man lying between her long, outstretched legs hammered his demanding cock in and out of her very willing cunt.”
Nurse Made (appearing soon on Lush)

Meanwhile, in categories such as Novels and Love Stories, readers don’t seem to mind openings that are more involved and/or less explicit. For instance:

“Sensual and seductive, she lay amid the rumpled sheets of the bed where we'd just made love—relaxed and at ease within the golden skin of her petite, perfect body. Not posing, not looking at the camera so much as through it, into the photographer, into me, waiting with an expression of amused tolerance for me to finish and rejoin her.”
Special Photo

“Headlights off, three cars glide through the muggy Louisiana night like nocturnal birds of prey.”
Evening In The Spring of ’68..

And in conclusion my fellow writers, let me say that the main thing to remember about writing fiction is there are NO hard and fast, unbreakable rules. In what passes for the real world of publishing, it’s not what some English teacher considers right or wrong that counts, but what is considered effective or ineffective by agents, editors, and the reading public. That includes openings that are happy hookers.


==


And now, at no additional charge, here are some of my all-time favorite opening lines from novels.
Feel free to add any others that turn your crank.


It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.

Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen

--

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

A Tale of Two Cities, Charles Dickens

--

Call me Ishmael.

Moby Dick, Herman Melville

--

Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy

--

They shoot the white girl first.

Paradise, Toni Morrison

--

My mother was a virgin, trust me...

Emotionally Weird, Kate Atkinson

--

Once upon a time, there was a woman who discovered she had turned into the wrong person.

Back When we Were Grownups, Anne Tyler

--

The small boys came early to the hanging.

The Pillars of the Earth, Ken Follett

--

There once was a boy named Eustace Clarence Scrubb and he almost deserved it.

Voyage of the Dawn Trader, C S Lewis

--

He was an old man who fished alone in a skiff in the Gulf stream and he had gone 84 days now without taking a fish.

The Old Man and the Sea, Ernest Hemingway

--

I have been afraid of putting air in a tire ever since I saw a tractor tire blow up and throw Newt Harbine's father over the top of the Standard Oil sign.

The Bean Trees, Barbara Kingsolver

--

ON THE THIRD DAY OF THEIR HONEYMOON, infamous environmental activist Stewie Woods and his new bride Annabel Bellotti were spiking trees in the forest when a cow exploded and blew them up. Until then, their marriage had been happy.

Savage Run, C.J. Box

--

"Take my camel, dear", said Aunt Dot as she climbed down from the animal on her return from High Mass.

The Towers of Trebizond, Rose Macaulay

--

It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.

1984, George Orwell

--

"My name was Salmon, like the fish; first name Susie. I was fourteen when I was murdered on December 6, 1973."

The Lovely Bones, Alice Sebold

--

If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.

The Catcher in the Rye, J.D. Salinger

--

Francis Marion Tarwater's uncle had been dead for only half-a-day when the boy got too drunk to finish digging his grave and a Negro named Buford Munson, who had come to get a jug filled, had to finish it and drag the body from the breakfast table where it was still sitting and bury it in a decent and Christian way, with the sign of its Saviour at the head of the grave and enough dirt on top to keep the dogs from digging it up.

The Violent Bear It Away, Flannery O’Connor

--

They threw me off the hay-truck about noon. I had swung on the night before, down at the border, and as soon as I got up there under the canvas, I went to sleep. I needed plenty of that after three weeks in Tijuana, and I was still getting that when they pulled off to the side to let the engine cool. Then they saw a foot sticking out and kicked me off.

The Postman Always Rings Twice, James M. Cain

--

Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice.

One Hundred Years of Solitude, Gabriel Garcia Marquez

--

Nobody was really surprised when it happened, not really, not on the subconscious level where savage things grow.

Carrie, Stephen King

--

I am living at the Villa Borghese. There is not a crumb of dirt anywhere nor a chair misplaced. We are alone here and we are dead.

Tropic of Cancer, Henry Miller

--

Whenever my mother talks to me, she begins the conversation as if we were already in the middle of an argument.

The Kitchen God's Wife, Amy Tan

--

Describe, using diagrams where appropriate, the exact circumstances leading to your death.

Red Dwarf, Grant Naylor

--

If you're going to read this, don't bother.

Choke, Chuck Palahnuik

--

I am an invisible man.

Invisible Man, Ralph Ellison

--

‘Once upon a time when the world was young there was a Martian named Smith.’

Stranger in a Strange Land, Robert A. Heinlein

--

‘A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that the balances are correct.’

Dune, Frank Herbert)

--

I’ve watched through his eyes, I’ve listened through his ears, and I tell you he’s the one.

Ender’s War, Orson Scott Card

--

On this particular Thursday, something was moving quietly through the ionosphere many miles above the surface of the planet; several somethings in fact, several dozen huge yellow chunky slab-like somethings, huge as office blocks, silent as birds.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams)

--

Hobbits are little people, smaller than dwarves.

The Hobbit, J.R.R. Tolkien)

--

It is true that I have sent six bullets through the head of my best friend, and yet I hope to show by this statement that I am not his murderer.

The Thing on the Doorstep, H.P. Lovecraft

--

Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongye taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta.

Lolita, Vladimir Nabokov

--

It was a queer, sultry summer, the summer they electrocuted the Rosenbergs, and I didn't know what I was doing in New York.-

The Bell Jar, Sylvia Plath

--

Scarlett O'Hara was not beautiful, but men seldom realized it when caught by her charm. –

Gone With The Wind, Margaret Mitchell


Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, July 07, 2009 11:31:49 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,753
And here I thought we were going to learn to be Xaviera Hollander.
RumpleForeskin
Posted: Tuesday, July 07, 2009 2:12:42 PM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,899
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
chefkathleen wrote:
And here I thought we were going to learn to be Xaviera Hollander.


Works for me, though truth be told, I lack the vital equipment required for her profession.

Catnip, never forget, To err is Rumple. d'oh!

Rumple Foreskin glasses8

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, July 07, 2009 7:05:20 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,753
"All this happened, more or less. The war parts, anyway, are pretty much true."

~Vonnegut, "Slaughterhouse Five"

"It was one of those nights when the sky came down and wrapped itself around the world."

~Spillane, "The Big Kill"

Good thread, Rumple.
RumpleForeskin
Posted: Tuesday, July 07, 2009 8:22:38 PM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,899
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
roccotool wrote:
"All this happened, more or less. The war parts, anyway, are pretty much true."

~Vonnegut, "Slaughterhouse Five"

"It was one of those nights when the sky came down and wrapped itself around the world."

~Spillane, "The Big Kill"

Good thread, Rumple.


Thanks, Rocco. Glad you like it.

Great quotes. I'm going to add those openings to my keeper list.

Rumple Foreskin glasses8

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
Catnip
Posted: Wednesday, July 08, 2009 1:00:41 AM

Rank: Internet Sensation

Joined: 3/30/2009
Posts: 3,969
Location: Cloudy dreams., Sweden
I prefer how my mind named you. *nods*

RumpleForeskin
Posted: Thursday, July 16, 2009 10:13:15 AM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,899
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
Looks like we really got things stirred up with this thread, Rocco. (imagine your SARCASM tag)

I'm going to post one more by an author who frequents another (lesser) site. After that, whaddaya think about moving the list to the Ask The Author forum?


She stood at the microphone, waiting for her cue, worrying a cigarette and gripping the mike stand like a spear.

Jazzy Girl – (Novella) - Dixon Carter Lee


Rumple Foreskinrr


Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
AppleOfYourEye
Posted: Thursday, July 16, 2009 7:18:52 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/19/2008
Posts: 101
Location: Pacific Ocean
It was the evening on which MM. Debienne and Poligny, the managers of the Opera, were giving a last gala performance to mark their retirement. Gaston LeRoux Phantom of the Opera

As far as Brian Donnelly was concerned, a vindictive woman had invented ties to choke the life out of man so that he would then be so weak she could just grab the tail of it and lead him wherever she wanted him to go. Nora Roberts Irish Rebel

The terror, which would not end for another twenty-eight years-if it ever did end-began, so far as I know or can tell, with a boat made from a sheet of newspaper floating down a gutter swollen with rain. IT Stephen King

True- Nervous- very very dredfully nervous I had been and am! but why will you say that I am mad? Edgar Allan Poe The Tell Tale Heart



Apple
Guest
Posted: Thursday, July 16, 2009 7:50:49 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,753
"It was the size of a small house, weighed nine thousand tons, and was moving at fifty thousand kilometres an hour."

~Arthur C. Clarke, "The Hammer of God"
RumpleForeskin
Posted: Friday, July 17, 2009 5:35:06 AM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,899
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
First-rate openings, Apple. I especially like Poe's "very, very dreadully nervous," which both "tells" and "shows."

Rocco, the line by Clarke strikes me as an almost perfect hook. It's hard to imagine anyone putting a story down after reading that one.


"Elmer Gantry was drunk." Sinclair Lewis, ELMER GANTRY

Rumple Foreskinrr

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, July 21, 2009 7:13:24 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,753
Hi, I'm new here, and a little shy, but I really like this thread. study

I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show. Charles Dickens, David Copperfield.

Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in it, "and what is the use of a book," thought Alice, "without pictures or conversations?" Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.

When the phone rang I was in the kitchen, boiling a potful of spagheti and whistling along to an FM broadcast of the overture to Rossini's 'The Thieving Magpie', which had to be the perfect music for cooking pasta. Haruki Murakami, The Windup Bird Chronicle.


Maous
Posted: Friday, August 14, 2009 12:53:49 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 7/10/2009
Posts: 57
Location: Seattle
In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.
-The Hobbit, J.R. Tolkien
Sal
Posted: Tuesday, October 06, 2009 9:21:04 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 10/4/2009
Posts: 37
He was first. In my ass.
~ Toni Bentley, The Surrender
RumpleForeskin
Posted: Friday, December 11, 2009 8:12:47 PM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,899
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
Sal wrote:
He was first. In my ass.
~ Toni Bentley, The Surrender


Great hook, Sal!


While off-line due to eye surgery, I read a lot, including a few books I first read decades ago, such as the one with this memorable opening line:

"Elmer Gantry was drunk."
Elmer Gantry by Sinclair Lewis

Rumple Foreskin rr



Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
nicola
Posted: Tuesday, August 16, 2011 8:21:17 PM

Rank: Matriarch

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 25,495
Location: The Orgasmatron
Bump fish
RumpleForeskin
Posted: Wednesday, August 17, 2011 3:25:42 AM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,899
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
been bumped by, Nicola. Happiness is mine :). The opening to Hunter Thompson's, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" might be worth inclusion, but I can't recall the exact quote. Any help would be depreciated.

RR

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
nicola
Posted: Wednesday, August 17, 2011 3:36:45 AM

Rank: Matriarch

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 25,495
Location: The Orgasmatron
I lent my copy to someone and have never seen it since. However, the interwebs were at my fingertips:

We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like "I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive..." And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, which was going about a hundred miles an hour with the top down to Las Vegas. And a voice was screaming: "Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?"
sprite
Posted: Wednesday, August 17, 2011 8:44:04 AM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 14,538
Location: My Tower, United States
nicola wrote:
I lent my copy to someone and have never seen it since. However, the interwebs were at my fingertips:

We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like "I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive..." And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, which was going about a hundred miles an hour with the top down to Las Vegas. And a voice was screaming: "Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?"


It wasn't me! I just realized i can't find MY copy either! Damn those thieviing fairies! for the record? best opening line ever!

http://www.lushstories.com/stories/hardcore/west-coast-games-part-one-the-beach.aspx
RumpleForeskin
Posted: Wednesday, August 17, 2011 9:30:23 AM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,899
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
Many thanks, youse guys. Now you done gone and flung a craving on me to re-read some HST stuff.

RR

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
DirtyMartini
Posted: Friday, August 19, 2011 2:43:06 PM

Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,790
Location: Right here on Lush Stories..., United States
I just read an interesting quote about story writing that I think sort of relates to this discussion about hooking the reader in...

"Not sure how to begin? Try NOT at the beginning."

In other words...get right to the chase, jump right in with the action...I'm not sure it's always the best advice, but I liked the quote and wanted to post it somewhere...I thought here seemed like a nice enough place...happy8


You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

RumpleForeskin
Posted: Saturday, August 20, 2011 7:35:20 AM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,899
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
Much agreed, DM. It should be a crime, punishable by being forced to spend ten days diagraming sentences, to begin with a description of the narrator or some other character. The punishment should be doubled if the description includes precise, numerical measurements.

Just a thought.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
Coco
Posted: Friday, September 09, 2011 12:43:06 PM

Rank: Story Lover

Joined: 7/22/2011
Posts: 4,446
Location: Fantasy City, United States
And so now I know how to begin. The authors here are wickedly talented, I am only an amateur but am open to learning. Wish me luck.

RumpleForeskin
Posted: Friday, September 09, 2011 4:54:02 PM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,899
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
Well, in actual matter of fact, with luck, you may have picked up an idea or two about what not to do. The really tough part about writing is coming up with something that's works for your story. Courage.

glasses8

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
DirtyMartini
Posted: Monday, May 21, 2012 3:14:48 PM

Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,790
Location: Right here on Lush Stories..., United States
Here you go Reverend...I'm going to post this here as a bump to your thread...

Someone just posted this in a writing group...it sort of relates to this thread, about hooking the reader in from the start...

What Makes a Winning Short Story?
http://thewritersabcchecklist.blogspot.com/2012/03/what-makes-winning-short-story.html



You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

DirtyMartini
Posted: Tuesday, May 22, 2012 9:50:49 AM

Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,790
Location: Right here on Lush Stories..., United States
Here you go again Rev...this just came out in the P & W newsletter...

Earlier this month, the shortlist was announced for the Caine Prize, a contest that awards a ten-thousand-pound prize for a short story.

Head over to G&A: The Contest Blog to read first lines from each of the five finalists' entries and learn more about the award, which aims to widen the global audience for new and innovative African fiction.


Five Stories From the 2012 Caine Prize Finalists
http://www.pw.org/content/five_stories_from_the_2012_caine_prize_finalists



You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

RumpleForeskin
Posted: Thursday, May 24, 2012 7:34:21 AM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,899
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
Thanks for the bump, DM, and the links. In my (very) humble opinion, the 'How To' article is first-rate.

glasses8


Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
RumpleForeskin
Posted: Tuesday, July 03, 2012 5:50:50 PM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,899
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,

From the P.D. James mystery, "The Private Patient"
"On November the 21st, the day of her 47th birthday and three weeks and two days before she was murdered, Rhoda Gradwin went to Harley Street to keep a first appointment with her plastic surgeon,and there, in a consulting room designed, so it appeared,to inspire confidence and allay apprehension, would make the decision which would lead inexorbly to her death."

(note: I transcribed this from a recorded version. All spelling and punctuation errors are mine. I'm not even sure if she used numbers for the date and age or spelled them out.)

To me, this is one of the best 'long' openings I've come across. It's not punchy and there are no 'action points' but IMO the average reader would never put the book down after reading that sentence.

glasses8

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
DirtyMartini
Posted: Saturday, January 12, 2013 6:44:11 AM

Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,790
Location: Right here on Lush Stories..., United States
Had to post this somewhere...this thread will work...




You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

budwilliams
Posted: Friday, March 15, 2013 2:45:59 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/17/2011
Posts: 494
Location: United States
"I usually don't meet people off line, but after several hot chats with this charming young man, he convinced me it was about time I spent a little less time on the net talking about my fantasies and little more time on my back fulfilling them."

--- Meet Me In the Park
Redhot363236
DirtyMartini
Posted: Sunday, April 07, 2013 11:12:38 AM

Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,790
Location: Right here on Lush Stories..., United States
Speaking of finding that perfect hook...had to share this one with my writer friends here today...happy8




You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

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