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Be Careful What You Wish For......... Options · View
Guest
Posted: Friday, March 09, 2012 9:38:16 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
Granted -- but since kids never play with spinning tops at night your toys are total flops in the marketplace and you lose all of your savings.

I wish that using butter as a lubricant would prevent pregnancy and STDs so that I'd never have to use birth control pills or condoms again
spearone
Posted: Friday, March 09, 2012 11:50:21 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/23/2011
Posts: 1,479
Location: Here
Granted - but your toys work only under the open sky

Wish i was lounging by a pool right now drinking a martini

Sig removed by admin: Too awesome.

(500px x 150px max)
Guest
Posted: Saturday, March 10, 2012 11:25:24 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
Granted -- the pool is of polluted water in the middle of the desert and you are on foot.

I wish there was a way to see Russia from my house
Guest
Posted: Monday, March 12, 2012 4:40:30 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
amyboston wrote:
I wish there was a way to see Russia from my house



Granted....And the view should be unimpeded from where you built the house....right in the middle of Tunguska!


I wish I could apply a nice layer of lubricant without using my hands....anyone? Embarassed
Guest
Posted: Monday, March 12, 2012 5:35:23 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
Granted, unfortunately you made such a mess of the job by trying to use your ears, your woman isn't happy. You need lessons, my dear.

I wish Coach could attend my weekly classes... how to apply lube AND make your woman happy
Guest
Posted: Monday, March 12, 2012 6:06:13 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
Wildcat wrote:
I wish Coach could attend my weekly classes... how to apply lube AND make your woman happy


Granted...but I fear his presence would be disruptive to the ladies in the class...and you know what a "slippery slope that is and the HARD time" you will have regaining class discipline! 430-128

I wish sex wasn't such a slippery subject...and had a firmer grip on it! Whistle
poizenivy
Posted: Monday, March 12, 2012 8:49:42 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/5/2011
Posts: 9,099
Location: In a suspended state of permanent horniness, Unite
Granted but now your grip is super glued to it

I wish I could tell a certain someone what is really on my mind

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. ~Swami X

Guest
Posted: Monday, March 12, 2012 8:51:55 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
Granted but now you tell everyone what is on your mind no matter how inappropriate it is to tell them

I wish I got a modeling job
bill11
Posted: Tuesday, March 13, 2012 3:36:35 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/10/2010
Posts: 19,612
Granted, but your modeling job has you modeling plastic toy play houses, for production.

I wish I was on thee beach today and not having to go to work.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, March 13, 2012 4:48:39 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
Granted but today happens to be a day FILLED with deadlines you miss them all, get put on the top of your boss's shit list and have to make up the work by the end of the day tomorrow.

I wish I didn't have to buy a new computer
mischiefmaker
Posted: Wednesday, March 14, 2012 12:52:11 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/26/2010
Posts: 429
Location: Southeast part of the state, United States
Granted, you steal one, but alas you get caught and are now in the slammer.

I wish I could get an anatomically accurate female cyborg who would do my every bidding
Guest
Posted: Thursday, March 15, 2012 1:56:06 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
Granted, but she's only got a two hour battery life. I wish for the perfect brain.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, March 17, 2012 6:57:17 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
Granted my dear, it's a perfect brain you have there, sitting in pride of place on the mantle in a little glass jar. Now all you need is Dr Frankenstein.

I wish I hadn't eaten one of my "special" brownies, with no one to giggle with.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, March 17, 2012 10:35:16 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
Wildcat wrote:
I wish I hadn't eaten one of my "special" brownies, with no one to giggle with.



Granted...but then in honor of the 17th...you wouldn't be able to say..."and they are magically delicious!"


I wish every time I went to bed sleeping naked...my hands weren't so conveniently located next to my...Whistle
Guest
Posted: Saturday, March 17, 2012 4:48:56 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
granted my dear, your hands aren't located next to your Whistle they're located next to your bootyshake instead. Mmm nothing like a nice firm butt to grab onto.

I wish my landlord would allow my to keep a pet


Guest
Posted: Saturday, March 17, 2012 4:53:53 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
granted, when will you expect me?

i wish for a new car
Guest
Posted: Saturday, March 17, 2012 6:27:29 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
Granted, but it was considered new 30 years ago and it no longer works.

I wish I could stay home tomorrow all day long
BornyHouseHusband
Posted: Sunday, March 18, 2012 4:11:07 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 1/21/2012
Posts: 67
Location: Newquay, United Kingdom
Granted but you have religious fanatics knocking on your door all day.

I wish for an amazing kiss from slutpuppy
adele
Posted: Sunday, March 18, 2012 4:33:53 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/8/2011
Posts: 20,668
Location: if I knew where I was then I would not be here...
granted, slutpuppy from the website sluttypets will be knocking at your door soon. they're REAL dogs over there. have fun!!!

I wish I had 3 more wishes

There is no mark of self,
And no mark of others,
No mark of living beings,
And no mark of a life.


-- The Diamond Sutra
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, March 20, 2012 8:12:36 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
granted, my dear, 3 more wishes it is.
1. I wish I could think of what to wish for
2. Damn! I wish I hadn't wished that.
3. I wish I could just make up my mind
4. Oops... all gone!

I wish I could speak all languages fluently
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, March 20, 2012 8:18:16 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
Granted but you never pick the correct one and no one understands you.

I wish I could spend some quality time with that special someone.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, March 25, 2012 11:47:30 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
Granted, however the special someone's idea of "quality" time is selling and eating burritos at Taco Bell! Ugh!

I wish that I could hold my breath for two minutes!
Guest
Posted: Monday, March 26, 2012 9:05:51 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
amyboston wrote:
I wish that I could hold my breath for two minutes!



Granted....but the girl you are "nibbling" gets dehydrated from a tsunami size orgam!


I wish my new invention "orgasmic orange" the bottle sex drink would make me millions!
Guest
Posted: Monday, March 26, 2012 5:30:57 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
Granted my dear, you make buckets of cash, unfortunately orgasmic orange had a side effect... population explosion... you're now being sued by all drinkers.

I wish I could write the perfect love song
Guest
Posted: Monday, March 26, 2012 9:39:46 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
Wildcat wrote:
I wish I could write the perfect love song



Granted...but the lyrics are in a dialect of a dead Arabic language...too bad....but it looks like the camels want to hump you...beat_deadhorse


I wish Wildcat would let me watch her broomstick slide in-between her legs when she "gets off"...or....I mean "launches"....ok...."takes off"...f-hihi
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, March 27, 2012 6:38:23 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
Granted, my dear, I let you watch me "mount" my broomstick. However, you get way too close and get a nasty poke in the eye, ooh, that's gotta hurt.

I wish my broomstick was jet propelled
cecilesfun
Posted: Tuesday, March 27, 2012 10:10:20 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 11/22/2011
Posts: 95
Location: Paris, France
Granted ... However you flew too quickly and you wrecked with a heavy landing

I wish I could see in the dark

What does not kill you makes you stronger
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, March 27, 2012 12:15:50 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
cecilesfun wrote:
I wish I could see in the dark




Granted....and then.... BOO!


I wish I could see through your clothes!!!!!!! jerk
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, March 27, 2012 12:26:40 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
granted, i lead you to my closet, oh you said see through not see them. damn

i wish for a new car, mine is crap
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, March 27, 2012 4:17:41 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
Granted, my dear, your shiny new GoGomobile is parked outside. don't you love it... very economical



I wish I had a gorgeous chauffeur to drive me around
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