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Rank: The Right Rev of Lush
Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,535
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
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RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber BarHome of the Lush "IN" crowd: indecent, intoxicated, and insolvent    Need a place to gossip, share news, talk sports, pimp a story, piss & moan, or just grab a drink? If so, you’ve come to the right gin joint.
RUMPLATIONS features strong coffee, cheap booze, dirty floors, loose women, indecent men, forum whores, and if you're really on a losing streak, a cranky old fart behind, and/or under, the well-used bar.
So welcome. The lava lamp is now on.  Rumple Foreskin 
Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN FROM: Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love a Festive contest winner - honest (audio version - very sexy) HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 4/10/2009
Posts: 1,891
Location: United Kingdom
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I watched the film Perfume: The Story Of A Murderer the other day and need someone to talk to about it. I love it!! Intriguing yet weird storyline, brilliant acting and beautifully shot!
*Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?*
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Rank: The Right Rev of Lush
Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,535
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
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MMonroe wrote:I watched the film Perfume: The Story Of A Murderer the other day and need someone to talk to about it. I love it!! Intriguing yet weird storyline, brilliant acting and beautifully shot! Not trying to run off business, you understand, but a "Talking About the Movies" sort of thread might attract a lot of interest. You're always welcome here (this joint ain't got NO standards) but why not give it a shot? Rumple Foreskin
Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN FROM: Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love a Festive contest winner - honest (audio version - very sexy) HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
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Rank: Forum Whore
Joined: 7/9/2009
Posts: 2,519
Location: Cuffed to the forums, having things my way, United
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"loose women" Eh, Rumple? You forgot Forum Whores! [chuckles about Will's comment about "smarts"]
Wishing you well,
LydiaPlease check out:
My love poem: Gone From Me
An office part takes an interesting turn in Drunk Off Lust
Friends exploring their newly found affection in Wake Up Shower
I've also finally found the Best Cure for Boredom
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Rank: Moderator
Joined: 9/27/2007
Posts: 5,453
Location: Never, Never Land, United States
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For those of you who know that I am out of a job right now, guess what?? I have a job interview!!! Yay me! Its the same type of work that I was doing before, so I am comfortable with that AND it's a job!!
See, this is the kinda stuff you can talk about in a bar! No drinks for me though.....gotta be sober for the interview! LOL
♥ Listen, touch, and look around in the air and on the ground. If you watch all nature's things, you might just see a fairy's wings. ♥
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Rank: Forum Whore
Joined: 7/9/2009
Posts: 2,519
Location: Cuffed to the forums, having things my way, United
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Pixie wrote:For those of you who know that I am out of a job right now, guess what?? I have a job interview!!! Yay me! Its the same type of work that I was doing before, so I am comfortable with that AND it's a job!!
See, this is the kinda stuff you can talk about in a bar! No drinks for me though.....gotta be sober for the interview! LOL  Good luck on your interview, Pixie!
Wishing you well,
LydiaPlease check out:
My love poem: Gone From Me
An office part takes an interesting turn in Drunk Off Lust
Friends exploring their newly found affection in Wake Up Shower
I've also finally found the Best Cure for Boredom
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Rank: The Right Rev of Lush
Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,535
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
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Lady_Lydia wrote:Pixie wrote:For those of you who know that I am out of a job right now, guess what?? I have a job interview!!! Yay me! Its the same type of work that I was doing before, so I am comfortable with that AND it's a job!!
See, this is the kinda stuff you can talk about in a bar! No drinks for me though.....gotta be sober for the interview! LOL Good luck on your interview, Pixie! Yes indeed. We'll chill the champagne for a post-hiring celebration. Okay, so it's really, Sloe Gin Fizz. Drink enough of the stuff and you'll never notice the difference. YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE! THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT. My latest insult to good taste and English letters, OUTDOOR ABBY: a cautionary tale, has just been posted. So what else is know, you ask.? This one is supposed to be, funny, or at least a bit amusing, sorta. Anyway, check 'er out (there's a link in my slig line) and let me know what you think. Rumple Foreskin
Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN FROM: Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love a Festive contest winner - honest (audio version - very sexy) HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 7/17/2008
Posts: 1,177
Location: AZ
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I spent a good 2hrs washing and brushing my fake christmas hair yesterday. I thought it would lose some of it’s natural curls but it didn’t – it’s not as good as having regular extensions that I can wear all day and not worry about them clipping off but I’ll take what I can get. I missed them! THANKS Ram! 
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Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,358
Location: Right here on Lush Stories...
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Is this the place I heard has "Warm beer and cold women"??? Hmmm...give me a double bourbon with a bourbon chaser...it's one of those days...put it on my tab...
 You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 327,267
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I'm thinking many bottles of BudIce beer ,, several packs of Camel non filters ,, and all the lies you folks want to tell.
Oh ,, and can I stomp the cigarette butts out on the floor??
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 11/9/2009
Posts: 1,124
Location: In my own little world., United States
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shameless009 wrote:I'm thinking many bottles of BudIce beer ,, several packs of Camel non filters ,, and all the lies you folks want to tell.
Oh ,, and can I stomp the cigarette butts out on the floor?? Any thing my little Sin Verguenza wants to do or have here is the place with all the women he could ever dream of as long as he does not let his buddy Marcos tell any more cheistes mongos (lame jokes).
 Behind every strong soldier there is even a stronger woman who raised him " Proud Army Mom"
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 327,267
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Pixie wrote:For those of you who know that I am out of a job right now, guess what?? I have a job interview!!! Yay me! Its the same type of work that I was doing before, so I am comfortable with that AND it's a job!!
See, this is the kinda stuff you can talk about in a bar! No drinks for me though.....gotta be sober for the interview! LOL  Strongs for you pixie, babe! I hope all goes well:)
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Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,358
Location: Right here on Lush Stories...
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Hey Shameless...can you spare a cigarette? I left mine in the machine...
You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 327,267
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redhotmommacita wrote:shameless009 wrote:I'm thinking many bottles of BudIce beer ,, several packs of Camel non filters ,, and all the lies you folks want to tell.
Oh ,, and can I stomp the cigarette butts out on the floor?? Any thing my little Sin Verguenza wants to do or have here is the place with all the women he could ever dream of as long as he does not let his buddy Marcos tell any more cheistes mongos (lame jokes). I have no control over his actions.
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Rank: The Right Rev of Lush
Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,535
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
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shameless009 wrote:I'm thinking many bottles of BudIce beer ,, several packs of Camel non filters ,, and all the lies you folks want to tell.
Oh ,, and can I stomp the cigarette butts out on the floor?? Wimp. Crush 'em out in the palm of your hand, you know, like the forum whores all do. Drinks are on Shameless! (Don't bother hunting, I've hidden all the "good" stuff, ie: over two weeks old. Rumple Foreskin
Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN FROM: Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love a Festive contest winner - honest (audio version - very sexy) HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 327,267
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Exakta66 wrote:Hey Shameless...can you spare a cigarette? I left mine in the machine... I will fix you right up. ,, could you hand me another BudIce Please???
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 327,267
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Exakta66 wrote:Hey Shameless...can you spare a cigarette? I left mine in the machine... I will fix you right up. ,, could you hand me another BudIce Please???
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Rank: The Right Rev of Lush
Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,535
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
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Lady_Lydia wrote:"loose women" Eh, Rumple?
You forgot Forum Whores!
[chuckles about Will's comment about "smarts"] Egads, he says, smacking his head. Forgive me, my Lady Lydia. The oversight is now corrected. Rumple Foreskin
Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN FROM: Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love a Festive contest winner - honest (audio version - very sexy) HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
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Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,358
Location: Right here on Lush Stories...
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Speaking of bars... A man walks into a bar with a St. Bernard and asks for a martini. The dog requests a double martini. The bartender says to the man "So you're a ventriloquist. Big deal. We don't serve dogs in here." The man gets up to go to the men's room, and the dog again requests his drink. The bartender is amazed. "Good God, you can talk. Will you do a favor for me?" The dog replies, "What's in it for me?" The bartender goes to the cash register and takes out a $20 bill. "Here's $20. Go across the street to Riley's bar and tell the guys in there that they are a bunch of wimps and that our softball team will whip their a**es when we play them this weekend." The dog goes out. His owner returns and asks "Where's Rex?" The bartender says "He went across the street to do me a favor." The owner is visibly upset and says "I don't let Rex out alone!" The dog's owner leaves immediately to retrieve Rex, but Rex is not across the street. He is in the gutter in front of the bar going at it fast and hard with an Irish Setter. The owner is amazed. "Rex, what's come over you? You've never done anything like this before." Rex responds, "I've never had money before." 
You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 327,267
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Good ,, just ,, Good !!
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Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,358
Location: Right here on Lush Stories...
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Hey Shameless...did you get that beer yet??? I'll tell you the service in this place sucks... Anyway, here's something to think about while you're having that beer... It is time to do a comparison between two things treasured by men, beer and pussy... A beer is always wet. A pussy needs encouragement. Advantage: Beer. A beer tastes horrible served hot. A pussy tastes better served hot. Advantage: Pussy. Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied. Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton. Advantage: Beer. Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones. Pussy does not. advantage: Tie If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not disgusted. Advantage: Pussy 24 beers come in a box. A pussy is a box you can come in. Advantage: Pussy Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer. Advantage: Pussy. If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible. Advantage: Beer. If you come home smelling like beer, your wife may get mad. If you come home smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad. Advantage: Beer. 6 beers in a night and you better not drive. 6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need. Advantage: Pussy Buy too much beer and you will get fat. Buy too much pussy and you will get poor. Advantage: Tie It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game. You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game. Advantage: Pussy If a cop smells beer on your breath, you are going to get a breathalyzer. If a cop smells pussy on your breath, you are going to get a high five. Advantage: Pussy With beer, bigger is better. Advantage: beer. Wearing a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable. Advantage: beer. Pussy can make you see God. Beer can make you see the porcelain god. Advantage: Pussy If you think all day about the next pussy you will have, you are normal. If you think all day about your next beer, you are an alcoholic. Advantage: Pussy Peeling labels off of beers is fun. Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun. Advantage: Pussy. If you try to snag a beer at work, you get fired. If you try to snag a pussy at work, you get hit with sexual harassment. Advantage: Tie If you suddenly drop a beer, it may break. If you suddenly drop a pussy, it may hunt you down like the dog you are. Advantage: Beer. If you change to another beer, your old brand will gladly have you back. Advantage: Beer. The best pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it. Advantage: Pussy. The worst pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it. Advantage: Beer. Bad beer: Schlitz, PBR, Old Swill. Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright. Advantage: Tie Good beer: Samuel Adams, Moosehead, Pete's Wicked Winter Brew. Good pussy: Almost all but the above. Advantage Pussy. The government taxes beer. Advantage: Pussy.
You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 327,267
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Good stuff kid.. !!
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 2/9/2008
Posts: 1,981
Location: Miles From Nowhere
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Quote:The government taxes beer.
Advantage: Pussy.
~~TechTwo wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do...
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Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,358
Location: Right here on Lush Stories...
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And if you ever do get that beer you can ponder: 25 Good Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Women 1. You can enjoy a beer all month long 2. Beer stains wash out 3. You don't have to wine and dine beer 4. Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car while you play baseball 5. When you beer goes flat, you toss it out 6. Hangovers go away 7. A beer labels come off without a fight 8. Beer is never late 9. Beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer 10. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer 11. Beer never gets a headache 12. After you've had a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents 13. A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer 14. If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head 15. A beer always goes down easy 16. You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty 17. You can share a beer with your friends 18. You always know you're the first one to pop a beer 19. Beer is always wet 20. Beer doesn't demand equality 21. You can have a beer in public 22. A beer doesn't care when you come 23. A frigid beer is a good beer 24. You don't have to wash a beer before it taste good 25. If you change beers you don't have to pay alimony
You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 4/7/2009
Posts: 1,774
Location: Helena, Montana, United States
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Exakta66 wrote:And if you ever do get that beer you can ponder: 25 Good Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Women 1. You can enjoy a beer all month long 2. Beer stains wash out 3. You don't have to wine and dine beer 4. Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car while you play baseball 5. When you beer goes flat, you toss it out 6. Hangovers go away 7. A beer labels come off without a fight 8. Beer is never late 9. Beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer 10. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer 11. Beer never gets a headache 12. After you've had a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents 13. A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer 14. If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head 15. A beer always goes down easy 16. You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty 17. You can share a beer with your friends 18. You always know you're the first one to pop a beer 19. Beer is always wet 20. Beer doesn't demand equality 21. You can have a beer in public 22. A beer doesn't care when you come 23. A frigid beer is a good beer 24. You don't have to wash a beer before it taste good 25. If you change beers you don't have to pay alimony Us Women can say the same things about why beer is better than men. 
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Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,358
Location: Right here on Lush Stories...
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SilverArdorDragon wrote:Exakta66 wrote:And if you ever do get that beer you can ponder: 25 Good Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Women 1. You can enjoy a beer all month long 2. Beer stains wash out 3. You don't have to wine and dine beer 4. Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car while you play baseball 5. When you beer goes flat, you toss it out 6. Hangovers go away 7. A beer labels come off without a fight 8. Beer is never late 9. Beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer 10. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer 11. Beer never gets a headache 12. After you've had a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents 13. A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer 14. If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head 15. A beer always goes down easy 16. You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty 17. You can share a beer with your friends 18. You always know you're the first one to pop a beer 19. Beer is always wet 20. Beer doesn't demand equality 21. You can have a beer in public 22. A beer doesn't care when you come 23. A frigid beer is a good beer 24. You don't have to wash a beer before it taste good 25. If you change beers you don't have to pay alimony Us Women can say the same things about why beer is better than men. I didn't post that list...it was actually much longer...
You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 4/7/2009
Posts: 1,774
Location: Helena, Montana, United States
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Okay I think I have lost my mind. Has anyone seen it? 
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 327,267
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here it is ,, do you want it back??
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 4/7/2009
Posts: 1,774
Location: Helena, Montana, United States
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Hmm... maybe not. It's always getting me into truble. 
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Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,358
Location: Right here on Lush Stories...
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I'd give you a piece of my mind, but I really don't have much to spare... Since we are hanging out in a bar, I have one more bar joke...well, for now... 3 Ducks walk into a bar, The Bartender thinks thats strange but they have money and are paying customers. He walks up to the first duck, and says "so fella... what's yer name..how ya been doing? The duck smiles up and says "I am Huey, and I am pretty good, I been outside playing in puddles all day long, thats as good as it gets with a duck, I'll have a Beer. So he serves the Duck and moves to the 2nd Duck "how about you?" The 2nd Duck smiles and says "I'm Dewy, and I am pretty good too, I have been outside playing in puddles all day long too, thats as good as it get's for a duck...I'll have a scotch, neat Now the Bartender see's how this is going and moves to the 3rd duck "I bet your name's Lewy The 3rd duck smiles and shakes his head "No...I'm Puddles
You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories
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