Welcome Guest Search | Active Topics | Members | Log In | Register

RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar Options · View
LadySharon
Posted: Monday, June 25, 2012 11:12:55 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/5/2007
Posts: 2,120
Location: The Tundra, United States
triple digit temps *bitch slaps typist* Scooter! I missed you!

The Roommates Trilogy:
Roommates with Benefits
Roommates with Benefits: Snowed In
Roommates with Benefits: The Working Vacation is now available for your reading pleasure

Latest poem, Longing, is out now!

College Sex:



New story now available!
Guest
Posted: Monday, June 25, 2012 4:19:43 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
Someone sent this to me. I thought you might be interested.

"The" Ten Commandments, just for (in) case.

and what they mean to Beer Church


1. "Thou shalt have no other gods before me."
This means that it is okay to like wine, or whiskey, or what have you, but you must love Beer above all others.

2. "Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image."
Remember those hats that were vaguely popular back in the 70’s? The hats that were made of macramé and old beer cans? Don’t do that.

3. "Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain."
No beer bashing. Never say things like, "fuck beer" or "beer sucks." Also, try to refrain from dissin’ on beers that you yourself would not chose to drink. For instance, you may not like Hamms, but that does not mean it sucks. It simply means that you don’t like it. Someone else does. All beers have their place. Just because it’s place is not in your fridge, that doesn’t mean you should call it names. That creates bad beer karma. An example: Upon first tasting a premium American lager, a famous English humorist once said, "Put it back in the horse!" Not long after that, while adventuring in New Guinea, he found himself stripped naked, lathered in honey, tied to a pole and fed to vicious hordes of fire ants for the amusement of a native tribe. Fire ants go for the "soft" tissue first. Ouch.

4. "Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy."
There are two reasons why you should not work on Sunday: Hangovers and the NFL.

5. "Honor thy father and thy mother:"
I grew up around Seattle. That means my Dad had to choose between being a Rainier man, or a Oly man. My Dad was a Rainier man. I respect that. My Mom sometimes adds a couple pinches of salt to a glass of draught beer. She doesn’t really have a reason, she just likes it that way. That’s cool. And if your parents don’t drink beer, it's okay to pity them as long as you honor them by having a cold one in their name!

6. "Thou shalt not kill."
Do not waste beer. We all joke about "party fouls," but truthfully we should morn the loss of a perfectly good beer.

7. "Thou shalt not commit adultery."
When considering this commandment, the lessons learned by former President Bill Clinton come to mind. In short, you should never aspire to be President. No job in the world is tougher to do. No job will expose you to such high levels of stress. It therefore follows that no job will make you want a beer more than being President. Also, since beer is easier to obtain when you are a person of such significant power, it is a bizarre twist of fate that being President so seriously hampers your ability to drink freely. Something as simple as drinking a beer in the Oval Office will likely cause a blatantly political and hypocritical outcry of disapproval. You will be forced to humble yourself and apologize to a nation of ungrateful people who likely would have done the exact same thing given the opportunity.

8. "Thou shalt not steal."
This one is pretty obvious. Don’t steal someone else’s beer. Always share the last bit in the pitcher evenly. When splitting a 6 pack with someone, don’t drink extra fast just so you can have 4 beers. Respect your fellow human being’s appreciation of beer.

9. "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor."
This means that you should always invite, or at least advise, your neighbors when you have a party.

10. "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house, nor anything that is thy neighbor’s."
There is no reason to be jealous of, or to harbor ill will for your neighbor just because he has beer. You can have beer too. Every grocery store and every convenience store has got beer for sale to the public, and you are free to go there and get some beer of your own. However, if your neighbor has a stainless steel Snap-On Beer Fridge, a 42" plasma screen TV, a pair of Lazy Boy recliners, and a urinal in his carpeted garage, nobody will blame you for being jealous.
The_Young_Swell
Posted: Monday, June 25, 2012 4:19:44 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/8/2012
Posts: 158
Location: Canada
scooter wrote:
I got this one, one young swell of a fella...


Thanks Scooter, your way sounds almost gentle.

My way is to sing to them, songs of the old sod (any old sod, so long as someone has written a song about him) in a voice of purest sulphur.

They fall asleep right quick, either through force of willpower, squeezing the pressure point above their throat until they pass out, or banging their head against the wall until the desired condition has been attained.

It’s a most effective weapon, but as you might imagine, not nearly selective enough for most occasions. More useful in quelling a riot, than an isolated incident of fisticuffs.



Always drink upstream from the herd and never miss a good chance to shut up..
RumpleForeskin
Posted: Monday, June 25, 2012 5:15:29 PM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,898
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
Sister Chef, let me be among the first to exclaim, AMEN!

Young Swell, your approach to 'sleep inducement' could give the Sandman nightmares.

glasses8

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
sugarbabe
Posted: Monday, June 25, 2012 10:31:55 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/30/2010
Posts: 691
Location: northeast, United States
Hey Rumple....





Hey Rumple.....






I heard a new ...............new pen name

Leggs

Magoo...

gotta go!

sex is like a joke...it's only good if you get it


scooter
Posted: Monday, June 25, 2012 11:26:47 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/24/2010
Posts: 2,689
Location: Ohio
I think sugarbabe wants to start posting her music again.

Thanks swell,

RumpleForeskin
Posted: Tuesday, June 26, 2012 5:07:13 AM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,898
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
Morning, lustful legions of Lush. Today's coffee is another heapin' helpin' of the Caffine Fairy's ambrosia. There's also some Danish Busty found passed out near the dumpster. Judging from its aroma, this one may be a bit past the 'sell buy' date.

Sugar, isn't 'Leggs' a brand of panty hose? Just asking.

glasses8


Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
scooter
Posted: Tuesday, June 26, 2012 10:19:12 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/24/2010
Posts: 2,689
Location: Ohio

RumpleForeskin
Posted: Tuesday, June 26, 2012 1:06:28 PM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,898
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
That pretty much says it all, Scooter. (slides over a double Long Island Tea) Here you goNow use this to take a couple salt tabs, then rest your over-heated brain in a cool place. :)

glasses8

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
The_Young_Swell
Posted: Tuesday, June 26, 2012 6:38:23 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/8/2012
Posts: 158
Location: Canada

Great, Scooter, but of all the Angelina Jolie’s Leg meme photos that I’ve seen, this is still the best.





But that’s only my opinion. I really haven’t a leg to stand on.

Always drink upstream from the herd and never miss a good chance to shut up..
scooter
Posted: Wednesday, June 27, 2012 3:32:14 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/24/2010
Posts: 2,689
Location: Ohio
Good morning Rumpster, and swell.

Thanks for the double Long Island Tea Rump.
I don't get too excited when my brain over heats, it's only just a tiny little problem.

Nice pic. swell,
Miss piggy has much nicer legs than Angolina. I don't know how Brad puts up with them?

Were starting to get a little turbulence from Debbie doing the whole East coast,
but should still prove to be a good day for golfing

Regaeman Man
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, June 27, 2012 3:35:35 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
Good morning, my fellow Lushies!

Haven't stopped by in a while, hope there's some nice, strong coffee on the go? I could sure use one!

It's a driech, wet day here in Scotland, so I'm determined to get a load of work done...

Hope you're all well.
scooter
Posted: Wednesday, June 27, 2012 3:46:51 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/24/2010
Posts: 2,689
Location: Ohio
Hi mazza,

It's great to see you and your nice set of bubbles around again!

If your having a driech of a day, maybe we should all head to a nice gig somewheres.

Grab a few bottles, and I'll bring the stuff,,

Regaeman Man
RumpleForeskin
Posted: Wednesday, June 27, 2012 7:50:48 AM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,898
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
Morning, denizens of this den of delightful debauchery. (slides cup of the Caffine Fairy's coffee over to, Mazza) With the CF providing mercy shipments, there's been a seismic upgrade in coffee quality around here. However, be advised that Busty still slips in a pot of her own brew now and then so stay on alert -- even if the 'lert' keeps bitching about the situation.

Speaking about situations worthy of a good, old-fashioned bitch. Temps hit 109 yesterday here in East Luckenback. That's a new all-time record high for June. We are not amused, trust me, but we are sweaty. Therefor and forthwith, iced coffee with a stiff shot of Costco brandy will be today's special.

glasses8

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
LadySharon
Posted: Wednesday, June 27, 2012 10:51:12 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/5/2007
Posts: 2,120
Location: The Tundra, United States
HI, rump. an iced tea sounds good. It's supposed to hit 100+ tomorrow and I'll walk around in my birthday suit for the occasion. I went to a job fair and the place was so crowded, people were turned away towards the end of the fair. I'm going back under my air conditioner and get to writing.

The Roommates Trilogy:
Roommates with Benefits
Roommates with Benefits: Snowed In
Roommates with Benefits: The Working Vacation is now available for your reading pleasure

Latest poem, Longing, is out now!

College Sex:



New story now available!
sugarbabe
Posted: Wednesday, June 27, 2012 2:59:49 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/30/2010
Posts: 691
Location: northeast, United States
Hi to all you over heated Lushkin bumpkins.
I hope you all are wearing your deodorant!
That could be what you're smelling Mr. rumple.
That was supposed to Leggs Magoo. Not just the pantie hose name.
But I'll keep you in mind for another pen name.
Hope ya all stay dry and drink lots of fluids,
so no one dehydrates in this heat wave. And what better place to do
that then in Rumps Place!!!!!

Pint Drunk Pint Drunk Pour Wine Pour Wine

sex is like a joke...it's only good if you get it


The_Young_Swell
Posted: Wednesday, June 27, 2012 7:37:20 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/8/2012
Posts: 158
Location: Canada
I don’t know why but somehow Muppets and 180-proof sarsaparilla just ain’t cutting it for me. We need a little racket and rhythm around here.

Jayne Mansfield’s no punishment, either.





The Girl Can’t Help It (1956) starring Jayne Mansfield, Tom Ewell and Edmond O’Brien (not to mention an uncredited Phil Silvers as the Milkman) featuring the music of Little Richard, Fats Domino, Eddie Cochran, The Platters and many more

Always drink upstream from the herd and never miss a good chance to shut up..
RumpleForeskin
Posted: Thursday, June 28, 2012 6:33:45 AM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,898
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
Morning, searches for sex, suds and satiation. The Caffine Fairy dropped off a strong, dark roast this morning. Says it'll wake us up now and make great iced coffee later when the temp spikes.

Ah, Jayne MansfieldJust your typical, run-of-the-mill Texas sex pot. (warning: old fart moment) Back in the day, a car load of us sophistacated, suave, worldly-wise LSU guys went to a drive-in to see her nudie flick, 'Promises, Promises'. So we're all sitting in the car, drinking beer and maintaining our cool. Then she comes on-screen topless -- and the windshield immediately fogs up. Faster than the proverbial speeding bullet, the heads of four bug-eyed cinema buffs (or buffs of the fuff, as the case may be) shoot out of the car's windows as they struggle to get their money's worth, visually speaking, of Ms Mansfield's enchanting epidermis.

And now, y'all know the real reason I went blind. :)

glasses8

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
Buz
Posted: Thursday, June 28, 2012 6:47:43 AM

Rank: The Linebacker

Joined: 3/2/2011
Posts: 5,769
Location: Atlanta, United States
Rumpy it's hard to imagine that you LSU guys were not already drunk when you arrived at the theater. You know, keeping up that LSU image. Being a UGA guy myself, they usually patted us down for booze at the ticket window!

How often did you and your buddies hit New Orleans for the weekend? I've enjoyed some great parties there!

Time for some coffee...




Guest
Posted: Thursday, June 28, 2012 8:09:22 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
Man that woman was loaded in curves wasn't she? I miss woman with curves being popular and in the media, news and movies.


This does not have curves. Is not womanly imo.
scooter
Posted: Thursday, June 28, 2012 10:33:30 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/24/2010
Posts: 2,689
Location: Ohio
RumpleForeskin wrote:
Morning, searches for sex, suds and satiation. The Caffine Fairy dropped off a strong, dark roast this morning. Says it'll wake us up now and make great iced coffee later when the temp spikes.

Ah, Jayne MansfieldJust your typical, run-of-the-mill Texas sex pot. (warning: old fart moment) Back in the day, a car load of us sophistacated, suave, worldly-wise LSU guys went to a drive-in to see her nudie flick, 'Promises, Promises'. So we're all sitting in the car, drinking beer and maintaining our cool. Then she comes on-screen topless -- and the windshield immediately fogs up. Faster than the proverbial speeding bullet, the heads of four bug-eyed cinema buffs (or buffs of the fuff, as the case may be) shoot out of the car's windows as they struggle to get their money's worth, visually speaking, of Ms Mansfield's enchanting epidermis.

And now, y'all know the real reason I went blind. :)

glasses8


On that note, I'm gonna close my eyes and imagine Jane, topless
The_Young_Swell
Posted: Thursday, June 28, 2012 12:59:05 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/8/2012
Posts: 158
Location: Canada
Open your eyes for a moment, Scooter.





This is Jayne Mansfield from back in the day
when the Atomic Energy Commission wasn't
the only government agency worrying about
fallout.






Always drink upstream from the herd and never miss a good chance to shut up..
sugarbabe
Posted: Thursday, June 28, 2012 2:26:43 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/30/2010
Posts: 691
Location: northeast, United States
Just for you Bat!!!!!!





sex is like a joke...it's only good if you get it


Guest
Posted: Thursday, June 28, 2012 3:14:44 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
The_Young_Swell wrote:
Open your eyes for a moment, Scooter.





This is Jayne Mansfield from back in the day
when the Atomic Energy Commission wasn't
the only government agency worrying about
fallout.






Pretty bewbies and my gate doesn't even swing that way.
AngelHeart01
Posted: Thursday, June 28, 2012 3:16:50 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/23/2010
Posts: 3,139
Location: ♥ Southern Style ♥, United States
Hey all ... Happy Thursday!

We have had the most beautiful weather here (with no humidity, and the perfect breeze here and there).
Today was so Hot and Humid, and we are expected to have it around for a spell.

Thought I would drop in and cool off.

I could use something wet and cold, and just the sounds of people talking to one another.


CHEERS!
scooter
Posted: Thursday, June 28, 2012 4:27:50 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/24/2010
Posts: 2,689
Location: Ohio
Something sure smells nice around here today Rump, couldn't be Coma and Tose could it be?

Your gate only swings one way Huh chef? My gates swinging towards Jane at the moment,
that pic. was worth your efforts swell.

Nice to see you AngelHeart01,
I heard you were looking for something cold and wet, so I went out and got you a nice box of beer.

Pull up a stool there and I'll help you polish these babies off




Regaeman Man
RumpleForeskin
Posted: Thursday, June 28, 2012 6:09:33 PM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,898
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
Welcome to this pot hole on the info highway, Angel. Dang decent of Scooter to offer you some beer and then offer to help you drink same. That man's got manners he ain't never used. :)

For those of you who might have been wondering, a quick check of Wikipedia revealed the following figures about Jayne Mansfield's figure: 40-21-35. Another figure relating to her was she being the mother of five (5) kids she acquired the old fashioned way. IMHO, both are impressive statistics.

glasses8

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
The_Young_Swell
Posted: Thursday, June 28, 2012 7:18:53 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/8/2012
Posts: 158
Location: Canada
Besides her measurements, Jayne was Playmate of the Month in February 1955, made Blackwell's Worst-Dressed List in 1961 along with Marilyn Monroe, Sophia Loren and Shirley MacLaine (something is definitely fishy with that Blackwell fella), spoke five languages, had an I.Q. reputed to be 163, and had the torpedo-shaped front bumper extensions introduced on several American-made automobiles in the late-1950's nicknamed after her.

Oh, yeah, Jayne turned down the role of Ginger Grant in "Gilligan's Island,” and with Sophia Loren appeared in one of the all-time funniest classic candid celebrity shots from 1957.




Always drink upstream from the herd and never miss a good chance to shut up..
bat
Posted: Thursday, June 28, 2012 8:02:48 PM

Rank: Bat out of Hell

Joined: 3/18/2012
Posts: 2,106
Location: Teleporting anywhere I would like
Starting Vacation Friday !!! So If your looking trying to find me you can Look me up in Put-in-Bay



Thanks Sugarbabe Let's get this Party started!!!Regaeman Man Hugs Pour Wine fish

Infinite Love IS the Only Truth...Everything else IS Illusion!



http://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/my-own-slow-ride.aspx

Guest
Posted: Friday, June 29, 2012 8:51:27 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
I've been to Put-In-Bay before. They used to have decent wine.
Users browsing this topic
Guest 


Forum Jump
You cannot post new topics in this forum.
You cannot reply to topics in this forum.
You cannot delete your posts in this forum.
You cannot edit your posts in this forum.
You cannot create polls in this forum.
You cannot vote in polls in this forum.

Main Forum RSS : RSS

Powered by Yet Another Forum.net version 1.9.1.6 (NET v4.0) - 11/14/2007
Copyright © 2003-2006 Yet Another Forum.net. All rights reserved.