Forum posts made by freakycactus

I take everything far too seriously, I find stupid things funny and can't stop laughing, I always laugh at my own jokes and despite being too open and too loud when I get to know someone, I'm really shy at first. Also, I still love to watch Count Duckula!

Giggles....You did!

Ok, if I met a man who was amazing and short, I wouldn't date him (even if I was single) because his height would get in the way.

I wouldn't let height be an issue with an amazing and short woman - as you well know

Well i'm 6ft1 and height makes no difference to me but short girls are more attracted to smaller fellas in my opinion and tall girls to tall fellas! This is my opinion!


I'm 5' 4 and I adore tall men, particularly if they're 6'+. I'd like to think that if I met someone amazing and short I wouldn't let their height get in the way, but the reality is that I went out with someone who was 5' 8 once and it drove me crazy. I can go as low as 5' 10 but no shorter

Shaved balls just makes me think of stubble on my tongue while I lick and suck them.

Do any of you ever find it instinctive to submit or have rougher sex with a dominant male? I sometimes think about what kinds of raw animal instincts lay below the surface of us all.

Like in nature a male lion will pounce on a female and have his way with her. The lioness can struggle all she wants but she isn't going anywhere. Do any of you ever like a guy to just take you and have his way with you? Do you think this is instinct that you get off on submitting or even fighting back (mutual here, not talking rape against someones will) for awhile before giving in to him?

Do you ever role play or simulate getting raped? I dunno, to me it seems like animal instincts play a role in our sex lives no matter how enlightened and civilized we think we are.

For me it's instinctive to submit to a man and to have rough sex because I'm a straight submissive. I struggle to fight back because it goes against my submissive nature. I love giving in to my instincts and going with what my body wants, satisfying him, serving him, pleasing him.

I don't expect my instincts to be the same as others, what about submissive men? Switches? People who prefer gentle, loving sex?

I enjoy some reluctance on occasion but I do not and will not role play rape scenarios, I've been through the real thing and I'm still dealing with it.

I have had a lot of ups and downs, sexual and otherwise, since I was a virgin. Some really great and some were really, really bad. But each one made me the person I am today who I happen to like a lot. So with the possible exception of ending my marriage sooner, I wouldnt change a thing really.

Dont harp on the past, learn from it!!

I completely agree, other than a long term relationship that I sometimes wish I ended sooner, I wouldn't change a thing, everything I've been through - good and bad - had made me who I am.

It certainly isn't dead, for Valentine's Day my lovely boyfriend is taking me to his favourite restaurant, 3350 miles away in New York! I can't wait! Then there are all the other lovely little touches of romance that he adds to my day, wrapping his arms around me, holding my hand and kissing me on the cheek, on my neck, just because he feels like it. And it works the other way round too.

Without romance, life would be dull.

I'm 5' 4 and I prefer 6'+ but I have dated guys shorter than that. For me it's almost like a fetish, there's something about a tall man towering over me that makes my knees go weak. I once had a basketball team walk past me and the shortest guy was at least a foot taller than me, I started drooling and had to wipe my mouth!

I'm quite tight, I once had a nurse ask if I struggled having sex because my opening is so small! And yes, I have struggled at times but always with guys who skip the foreplay and go straight to the sex. Take your time, lots of foreplay, lots of teasing, keep talking and enjoy yourselves, laugh and giggle - it's fun!

Personally, I'm not that bothered. I go for the guy underneath the hair. If you're happy to get rid of some of your body hair then go for it, otherwise, who really cares?

I love to be spanked, it doesn't matter what with. I just like the feeling of being spanked. It's a big turn on. Even if I'm being punished it still turns me on though I know I've done wrong and do learn from what I did.

This.

Sometimes it's because I love it and all I can think about is having his cock in my mouth, especially if he's just been inside me, sometimes because I'm horny and I want it to lead to more and sometimes it's because he tells me to, which I love.

This is something that intrigues me and I would like to try if the opportunity arose

Ignorance
Arrogance - a little is ok, a lot isn't
Being submissive - I understand the need to submit but if a guy asks me to take control of him I lose all interest. I imagine it would be the same for him when I tell him I'm submissive and need a guy to take control of me.

If you're hiding it from her then yes, it's wrong.

Try working out why you're not having sex. Do you listen to her, help her with things, talk to her about her day and tell her about yours, do you do things together, have quality time together, do you talk during the day when you're apart, have a date night?

Are you still attracted to her, is she still attracted to you? Is she stressed at work?

If you want to rekindle the romance in your marriage then you need to sit down with her and find out what's going on, there won't be a quick fix, but if you both love each other and want things to work then it'll be worth it.

Any position that provides more stimulation to my g-spot, then I just cum and cum and cum.

Thanks to everyone for their responses. You've shown compassion and given me a lot to think about. A lot of you have brought up the "being friends" thing so I wanna give you my perspective on that.

We were good friends for a long time before we got together and helped each other through a lot of hard times, as friends. From the first time we met, we just clicked and that, no matter what else has happened, has been a constant. After we broke up, the relationship reverted, by default, back to that. Yes, I still have strong feelings for her but I don't spend time with her to try to persuade her to get back with me. Likewise, she doesn't hang out with me because she feels "guilty" about breaking my heart. We're genuinely friends and we would spend time together like that even if the relationship had never happened.

I understand people saying that I should put some distance between us and give myself time away from her. Indeed, I recognised that as a good idea very soon after the break-up. However, it has gotten to the point where we now spend time together as friends again (I'm finding this difficult to put into words). I don't even know how I would now go about creating that distance - we have classes together, we share mutual friends, we are part of each other's lives. Do I just cut her out of my life? Do I start avoiding her in hallways and ignoring her texts? Do I tell her, "Hey, I'm still insanely in love with you so we can't hang out any more."?

We just are close and I don't know how to change that. People often say you can't be friends with your ex but it's more like I'm exes with my friend (if that even makes sense) .

A little bit more information: We were together for nine months; not a terribly long relationship, I know, but my longest and it was, at one point, really going somewhere. We broke up after a miserable summer apart - something changed, we're not sure what, and she didn't feel the same about me physically (she felt awkward kissing me, holding hands, etc.). She felt it was unfair to me to carry on like that. So when I say "she broke up with me" it was more that her feelings had changed such that we both knew the relationship had to come to an end.

I know it sounds like I'm dismissing a lot of your comments but I'm not; I'm just trying to figure out how to actually best put them into action. There's part of me that really doesn't want to let her go and is even content to wait, however long it takes. I'm not unhappy about being alone, only about not being with her. I know that's not healthy but it's a very difficult internal battle for me.

Thanks again, really.

I can understand how difficult it is and I hadn't realised how much you're forced together through your everyday life.

Maybe you need to tell her that you're struggling with things as they are, if she's as good a friend as you say then she should understand. I guess you just have to treat her as one of the gang and avoid too much extra contact. It'll be difficult and awkward for a while but if it helps then surely it's worth it.

Christmas day 2012, at home, in bed with my current boyfriend.

No worries, the Doctor has your back

http://images.lushstories.com/freakycactus/52486810152322007585212840543172n.jpg

Never fear, the Doctor saved the day!
http://images.lushstories.com/freakycactus/52486810152322007585212840543172n.jpg

Of course I will watch, I find it funny if a guy sees that I watch and feels a little awkward, LOL. That's my type of humor I guess ;)
Not making me horny at ALL;
http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT_Bo215DG_04owBk14-EjTWGcox51uwR4wRi-pWTL-MZ2LOTvs
This one looks much better;
http://stumblesthroughparenthood.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/daniel-craig-grabbing-his-crotch1.jpg

What she said.

Also, I came a little bit when I saw the picture of Daniel Craig

I've done it in the past, as long as you're careful I don't see any issue with it.

I agree, C; DD and OMKN have said it best...

Time, distance and distraction are probably what's best for you right now...

I agree that less/no contact would make it easier for you to move on, get some perspective, because while you still have a close relationship with her, I don't think it will be easy to do that. It will just perpetuate the feelings of hope, loss, regret etc...

You'll always notice things that will remind you of her; songs on the radio, things that you see which you'd normally share with her, times of year.. all the usual stuff...

You need space now, to get your own feelings in order, perhaps even to grieve, process and let go.

Perhaps once you've been able to do that, you'll be able to pick up a relationship with her? Perhaps you won't want to or maybe she won't. I think though, without taking a break from it, you won't be able to get to that good place...

Go have fun, get your end away! It gets easier, the more you do to fill the gap.

Good luck! xxx



Mazza says it best.

Same as above, guys going over and over and over the same spot, guys focusing too much on my clit - yes, it's sensitive and you will get a reaction but I'm more sensitive somewhere else, then there are the clit obsessed guys who can't find the damn thing and very enthusiastically attack the wrong spot that provides no pleasure. And, not forgetting about the guys who just lick very gently, so gently you're barely aware that they're doing anything. If guys aren't going to put in a decent effort, I'd much prefer they didn't bother.

The main problem is not recognising the signs when I'm enjoying something, you know the sort of thing I mean, crying out, hands grabbing at the sheets or his hair, back arching. I wonder if they'd notice me twiddling my thumbs in boredom?

I do

The Twelve Dancing Princesses. I only remember reading it when I stayed at my grandparents, maybe that's part of why I liked it so much - it was a treat to read it.

Happy birthday! Have a fantastic day x

I wonder if people confuse guilt with regret? (Maybe I am, here.)

Guilt is very negative, often misplaced and largely the result of something done intentionally. With regret, most often the only person you have to apologise to is yourself.

Regret shouldn't be paralysing but it should be motivating enough to make sure we do better in the future. It's ok to make a mistake, it's not ok to repeat it.

Surely a life with no regret would be like a life with no guilt: who would be impelled to repair any damage when you don't feel any of the consequences of your actions?

You're the guy telling us to unload our regrets so we can have a fresh start in 2013!

The solution it identifying people who have such rage inside themselves. I don't know what you're talking abotu with volleyball and blame. The solution is fixing what is wrong within our society, not with fixing the symptoms... guns. It's like taking a cough drop for the flu.

Avoiding responsibility isn't evil. Some men avoid being responsible for fathering babies. They're not evil, dumb or misguided yes. Evil no. Evil is planning a massacre. Evil is choosing grade school children because you know they won't be able to defend themselves. Evil is killing your mother in her sleep. Evil is thinking that massacre is a viable option to anything going on inside your head.

Yes, I blame him. He knew what he was doing, it matters. Because there are others out there that would know what they're doing too. That's where the focus needs to be. Finding and interceding before it's too late. I'm assigning blame to him, damn right.

I've pinched this from the other thread about the same topic, I feel it bears repeating, especially when people keep trying to avoid the gun issue. I agree that the people are the problem but until a suitable way of finding them and dealing with them before it gets to this stage is found, limiting their choice of weaponry is key. I've highlighted certain sections.

New York Times
EDITORIAL | THE GUN CHALLENGE
In Other Countries, Laws Are Strict and Work
Published: December 17, 2012


Like other shootings before it, the Newtown, Conn., tragedy has reawakened America to its national fixation with firearms. No country in the world has more guns per capita, with some 300 million civilian firearms now in circulation, or nearly one for every adult.



Experts from the Harvard School of Public Health, using data from 26 developed countries, have shown that wherever there are more firearms, there are more homicides. In the case of the United States, exponentially more: the American murder rate is roughly 15 times that of other wealthy countries, which have much tougher laws controlling private ownership of guns.

There’s another important difference between this country and the rest of the world. Other nations have suffered similar rampages, but they have reacted quickly to impose new and stricter gun laws.

Australia is an excellent example. In 1996, a “pathetic social misfit,” as a judge described the lone gunman, killed 35 people with a spray of bullets from semiautomatic weapons. Within weeks, the Australian government was working on gun reform laws that banned assault weapons and shotguns, tightened licensing and financed gun amnesty and buyback programs.

At the time, the prime minister, John Howard, said, “We do not want the American disease imported into Australia.” The laws have worked. The American Journal of Law and Economics reported in 2010 that firearm homicides in Australia dropped 59 percent between 1995 and 2006. In the 18 years before the 1996 laws, there were 13 gun massacres resulting in 102 deaths, according to Harvard researchers, with none in that category since.

Similarly, after 16 children and their teacher were killed by a gunman in Dunblane, Scotland, in 1996, the British government banned all private ownership of automatic weapons and virtually all handguns. Those changes gave Britain some of the toughest gun control laws in the developed world on top of already strict rules. Hours of exhaustive paperwork are required if anyone wants to own even a shotgun or rifle for hunting. The result has been a decline in murders involving firearms.

In Japan, which has very strict laws, only 11 people killed with guns in 2008, compared with 12,000 deaths by firearms that year in the United States — a huge disparity even accounting for the difference in population. As Mayor Michael Bloomberg stressed on Monday while ratcheting up his national antigun campaign, “We are the only industrialized country that has this problem. In the whole world, the only one.”

Hello guys and gals, here goes.

I've been with my current girlfriend for about 5 years, I'm 24 and shes 21, we've always had a really fun and healthy love and sex life and had no problems up to now, things are actually going really really great! She's just got a promotion at work which meant we had to move which made me working life a bit harder (i drive trains so often commute at unsociable hours) but the salary increase meant we couldn't say no!

Well anyways more to the point, last week she went out with her work colleagues for a Christmas party and I'd agreed to pick her up around 3am from the venue, but she later text me saying she would be staying at a friends and I could get her in the morning. When I picked her up she confessed to having drunkenly gotten a tattoo with a work friend, it is very small and discreet and on her ankle, I couldn't really tell what it was at first but when I asked she seemed a little odd and told me it was her friends idea. We got home and things got heated and I ended up going down on her, I noticed she tasted different but I put this down to her being partying all night, she was wetter than normal but it only made things better.

As the weeks progressed I've noticed she started wearing an anklet that matches her tattoo so out of curiosity I googled what it could mean, I wa thinking maybe it was a friendship thing or maybe something to show she loves me ( i dunno, totally confused) but it actually transpires that this 'design' means she's in an 'open relationship' and its almost a form of 'advertising' herself to other men? It also turns out it was an idea of a male colleague of hers.

What do I do?! How can I know if she knows? Surely she must? What do I do? I'm really confused at this discovery and its not mistaken, the designs are exactly the same! I want to marry this girl but is this her way of showing she has other intentions?

Help us :-( I loved how our life was shaping up, we bring in close to 100k a year and were getting settled in life..!!

His story has discrepancies, unless he meant, 'as the week has progressed', rather than, 'as the weeks progressed'. Even if its the former then he's got awfully suspicious very quickly.