About frenchtoastman

A friendly, polite Southern gentleman, uprooted from his home turf and replanted in California. Tall, thin, with thick brown hair (now flecked with grey), blue eyes, pale skin, glasses. A snappy dresser on a budget. Big clumsy feet and long, elegant fingers. In a relationship of many years standing, so I'm NOT here to hook up -- just to make friends. Admittedly, I do love to flirt... though my objective is more about being charming than lewd.

By the way, the avatar picture does not happen to be of me, but it IS a clue to my alias... though you'd have to be one seriously oddball hipster to pick up on that.

Date Joined:
12 Jul 2010
Last Visit:
17 Apr 2014 (1 day ago)
Relationship Status:
a state of bewilderment, California, United States
LIKES: Films, books and music... beautiful women of all shades, shapes, heights and sizes... hiking and long, relaxed walks... cake and pie... lesbian erotica... Chinese, Thai and Italian food... libraries and pleasant hours spent in them... afternoon naps... cats and dogs... jigsaw puzzles... the wonders of language... life. Most of all, my wife B., who will always be my reason for living.

DISLIKES: bullies, bigots, misogynists, homophobes, rudeness, moral scolds who can't mind their own damn business, huge corporations (see: bullies), religion as a weapon, capitalism as a weapon, wealth as a weapon, social position as a weapon, political correctness, bad films, bad books, bad music and American Idol.
Favorite Authors:
William Faulkner, Samuel Beckett, Cormac McCarthy, Madison Smartt Bell, Flannery O'Connor, Will Self, Neal Stephenson, P.G. Wodehouse, William Vollman, Mark Twain, Philip K. Dick, Harold Pinter, Margaret Millar, Jean Genet, Georges Perec, Thomas Pynchon, Jorge Luis Borges, Russell Hoban and loads more.
Favorite Movies:
My favorite directors include Ingmar Bergman, Yasujiro Ozu, Jacques Tati, Preston Sturges, Akira Kurosawa, Robert Bresson, Mike Leigh, Fritz Lang, Alfred Hitchcock, Jean-Luc Godard, Douglas Sirk, Andrei Tarkovsky, Sergio Leone, Wes Anderson, Krzysztof Kieslowski, Max Ophuls, Guy Maddin, Federico Fellini, Abbas Kiarostami, Jan Svankmajer, John Cassavetes, Bela Tarr, Rainer Werner Fassbinder and Stanley Kubrick.

(Why yes, I AM a film snob... you got a problem with that!?)
Favorite Music:
John Coltrane, The Stooges, Rolling Stones, Muddy Waters, Charles Mingus, Charlie Rich, Captain Beefheart, Bessie Smith, Soft Machine, Fela Kuti, Lee Dorsey, Miles Davis, The Kinks, Robert Johnson, Ali Akbar Khan, The Raincoats, Louis Jordan, Black Flag, Etta James, Sly & the Family Stone, R. Stevie Moore, Otis Redding, Hank Williams, Al Green, The Minutemen, Blind Willie McTell, Ivor Cutler, Lee "Scratch" Perry, Big Star, Louis Prima, Pere Ubu, Nurse with Wound, Wire, Velvet Underground, The Cramps, John Fahey, This Heat, Betty Carter, James Blood Ulmer and thousands of others. I have too many records.
Page Viewed:
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Latest Forum Posts
Topic: Post the title most recent song that you listened to
Posted: 02 Oct 2013 00:49

Tav Falco & Panther Burns "Shade Tree Mechanic." (It's an old song from bluesman Z.Z. Hill, but Tav does it mighty nice for a white guy.)

Topic: Curlygirly and Mazza's BIG sandwich!!
Posted: 12 Jul 2013 09:51

Oh, hell. Am I late...? Got held up in traffic -- major tie-up on 680, y'know.

Um... yeah, I just need to know where the fridge is. Gotta get this champagne on ice. Great, thanks.

So, er -- where do we leave our clothes? This bad boy is ready to PAR-TAY!

Topic: Keep them related!
Posted: 14 Feb 2013 23:35

Robert Ryan

Topic: Use My Last Word First - in a 5 word sentence..
Posted: 21 Dec 2012 00:50

Expecting pancakes for breakfast...

Topic: One word
Posted: 21 Dec 2012 00:48


Topic: Where do you get your sexy pics?
Posted: 18 Apr 2012 00:52

Good golly Miss Molly, what a plethora of photo sites you've unearthed, Mistress Katland! My hat is officially doffed in honor of your mad skills. Or as my Zen master might put it, "Your lesbian erotica fu is indeed powerful." I'll be checking out some of these immediately, if not sooner.

Me, I only discovered the Joy of Tumblr a few months ago, but the pull of these photo archives is irresistible... if the internet is an ocean, such sites are like a riptide dragging innocent souls into a smutty grave. (Davy Boner's Locker?) Unlike in the ocean, we are smiling as we go down for the third time.

Truly, this is a golden age for connoisseurs of erotica. When I was a youngun, we had to score our porn at convenience stores, where glossy beaver mags jostled for shelf space with dirty novels like "Lola On the Loose," "His Hot Little Sister," or even "Mom Does the Dog." And since the vast majority of erotica was heterosexually inclined, a devotee of sapphic delights like your humble servant had to make do with whatever meager crumbs of lesbianology he could scare up.

Now we have erotic story sites, photo sites, film clip sites... a veritable landslide of titillation to fill our wicked heads. Thanks, Katland, for adding another ton or two to this sinner's personal avalanche. You will be included in my prayers tonight.

Topic: Precious Things
Posted: 18 Dec 2011 02:06

Wonderfully done, Sprite. It can be brutally hard, trying to make sense of it all in what often seems like a senseless world...

Thank the Fates that there are good souls like you out there making the effort, inspiring the rest of us to do the same.

Topic: Word association game
Posted: 19 Apr 2011 00:50


Topic: Keep them related!
Posted: 19 Apr 2011 00:48

Carlos the Jackal

Topic: What kind of sex would you have with the person above you?
Posted: 19 Apr 2011 00:47

a firm handshake.

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Recent Activity
Stories Published By frenchtoastman
Shopping with Mom

Sarah stole a glance at her watch as she turned into the entrance road to Crestwood High School, then grimaced. Ten minutes late. Pulling up to the curb outside the front entrance, she smiled sheepishly at her daughter Cathy, who was seated on the steps. With an amused roll of her eyes, the pretty sixteen-year-old picked up her satchel, bouncing down the stairs to the car. Opening the door...

Added 01 Apr 2014 | Category Incest | Votes 16 | Avg Score 4.94 | Views 13,098 | 6 Comments

My Dominant Sister

The party turned out to be an utter snoozefest. Crap music, bad wine in paper cups, and not one guy that was worth my time, held in an apartment that smelled like stale potato chips and Axe body wash. So I made up a bullshit excuse about having to get up early to visit my parents the next day and made my escape. All the way home I fumed about how royally I'd been screwed by my so-called...

Added 31 Oct 2013 | Category Incest | Votes 16 | Avg Score 4.5 | Views 6,986 | 3 Comments

Sisters on the Rebound

My name is Polly. Short for Polyhymnia, if you can believe that. I'm nineteen years old. I'm 5'5", and weigh 130 pounds. I have long, jet black hair that falls down to my ass and hazel eyes. I've got a nice round butt and large tits. Let me say that yeah, I'm kinda chubby. I prefer it that way. I like food and I like being who I am -- a shapely, beautiful girl. I may be a few...

Added 23 Jun 2013 | Category Incest | Votes 20 | Avg Score 4.67 | Views 7,162 | 2 Comments

My Daughter's Seduction, Part 2: Our New Life

"Mom?" sixteen-year-old Becky called as she entered the house, dropping her backpack to the floor with a thud, then kicking off her shoes. "I'm in the bedroom, honey," Connie called back. "Hey, Mom," Becky chirped as she padded into Connie's room in her stocking feet. She sat on the bed and watched as her mother, naked and still damp from an evening shower, briskly toweled her body. ...

Added 25 Mar 2013 | Category Incest | Votes 30 | Avg Score 4.93 | Views 20,637 | 3 Comments

Mom Comes Calling

My name is Marilyn. I'm twenty-four now, and the story I'm going to tell you happened when I was eighteen. Basically, it's all about how I came to find the true love of my life -- only it happens to be with a lover who practically no one knows about. That's the way we both want it. It was my first year of college. By that time I'd had a few boyfriends, and gone all the way with one of...

Added 27 Feb 2013 | Category Incest | Votes 37 | Avg Score 4.91 | Views 18,240 | 5 Comments

A Teacher's Discipline, Part Two

Reading Part One before delving into this second chapter is strongly encouraged.) ***** Emily nibbled at Sandy's lower lip as she guided the girl onto her back, gently lowering her body onto the sixteen-year-old's slighter form without breaking their kiss. She fondled the student's bottom, fingers delving between her thighs to lightly brush Sandy's vulva as they kissed, their...

Added 24 Oct 2012 | Category Lesbian | Votes 10 | Avg Score 4.9 | Views 5,317 | 4 Comments

A Teacher's Discipline, Part One

Firmly clutching the strap of her shoulder bag, sixteen-year-old Sandy Ratledge hesitantly made her way down a hallway deep in the heart of Crestwood, the elite private school she attended. The last class of the day had ended fifteen minutes earlier, and this part of the building, where the faculty offices were located, was all but deserted. Sandy halted before one particular door, pausing...

Added 23 Oct 2012 | Category Lesbian | Votes 40 | Avg Score 4.97 | Views 12,691 | 10 Comments

Spanking Mom

I was fifteen years old when my father was killed in a car crash. Losing him was a horrible experience for me, but it was much worse for my mother Sarah -- she was utterly devastated. Even after a year and a half, she was unable to overcome the grief and put her life back together. My name is Julia, and I am her only child. Watching my mother suffer was breaking my heart. Before...

Added 16 Aug 2012 | Category Incest | Votes 48 | Avg Score 4.84 | Views 31,002 | 8 Comments

A Journey To My Sister

A brief valentine to love, written in an especially romantic mood. Not much plot, but loads of atmosphere. Hope you enjoy it . ***** I can still remember when I saw her, really  saw  her for the first time -- because that was the moment that would ultimately change everything between me and my sister. Carly was the younger sibling who I'd never paid much attention to, at least, no...

Added 22 Jul 2012 | Category Incest | Votes 41 | Avg Score 4.92 | Views 19,690 | 6 Comments

Saying Yes to Love, Part Two

Please read the previous chapter before tackling this... you will enjoy Part Two that much more, I promise. ***** The three women stood quietly for a moment, as if suddenly realizing the enormity of what they were preparing to do. Then Anne unfastened the remaining buttons of her nightgown and shrugged the garment from her shoulders to puddle on the floor. She stood before her...

Added 27 Jun 2012 | Category Incest | Votes 18 | Avg Score 4.89 | Views 5,477 | 5 Comments

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Friends Comments
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Posted: 14 Apr 2014 13:14
Hello Danny..I was gone for 2 weeks..I couldn't login..thank you for the offer of hugs and for reading my last poem..big hugss ..kiss...xxoo
Posted: 01 Apr 2014 11:01
Thank you for the lovely complement you posted on my wall. I am truly honoured to be receive a tip of the hat and a blown kiss. Thank you. You are a true gentleman.

Posted: 25 Mar 2014 04:09

Posted: 25 Mar 2014 04:07

Posted: 25 Mar 2014 02:40
aww thank you Danny..thank you for my great surprise.....always happy to hear from you..good night..a sweet kiss for your cheek...hugsss.xxxx from Margot
Posted: 15 Mar 2014 09:25
To all my friends: Monday is St. Patrick's Day, the patron saint of Ireland. For that occasion, enjoy the song below. It's an exceptionally melancholy song, but as G.K. Chesterson said, "The Gaels of Ireland are the men that God all made mad, for all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad."

Posted: 28 Feb 2014 06:55
Well met and welcome to my small group of friends. Enjoy your time on here and everywhere else. You have an especially aesthetic group of friends and I hope they give you the attention you're due.

Posted: 09 Jan 2014 13:33
thank you for the add....hope to get to know you

at least musically!

Posted: 01 Jan 2014 00:20
Happy Birthday from the Lush team.

Posted: 31 Oct 2013 11:07
Happy Halloween, Danny!

Posted: 03 Oct 2013 14:13

Posted: 26 Sep 2013 17:47
Love when you stop in for a visit, Danny! xoxo

Posted: 30 Aug 2013 07:51
oops I'm still working on my sexy walk!

Posted: 27 Jul 2013 05:41
Look at that; you're famous. Well, by Lush standards...

Posted: 31 May 2013 15:47
Thanks, but I dont want to be in debt. Heres my share
Posted: 31 May 2013 08:07
Sweet Danny, happy we're friends. Look me up sometime. Tina -- xoxo
Posted: 17 May 2013 15:38
Hot Comments @ AdultProfiler.com
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Posted: 16 May 2013 13:38
Posted: 15 Feb 2013 12:42
Toasty Thanks for the birthday wishes, misses you terribly. We need to send more emails, more often!

Posted: 14 Feb 2013 06:55

Hope your Valentine's Day is a sweet one! Great seeing you around the Hood!
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