Wine

pines

Mia Farrow

Being a Scotsman, I always tuck my kilt under me and flatten the pleats or they get 'sat' out of shape.

You didn't expect a man of here, did you?

Four hours!

My dick would fall off

An erotic afternoon, evening, or night, can last a couple of hours where we can fuck 2, 3 or 4 times, and I've always found that's well enough for both.

Andy Williams

Can I post for someone else?

Yip!

Dregs of humanity


You're mind is so filthy... you should should be washing every part of you out with soap.
If your thoughts can go dirty, they do. Almost everything is NC-17 to you!

Thank fuck for that

A guy with a gun enters a bar.

"Who the fuck had sex with my wife?" he snarled.

A voice was heard in the background, "You don't have enough bullets, mate!"

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I fucking hate double standards! Some bird gets a rampant rabbit and it's seen as 'a bit of naughty fun'. But when I ordered my 240 volt Fistmaster 5000 latex revolving pussy with elasticated anus, imitation shit dribble with breast nipple discharge and semen collection tray with built in realistic rape cry sound system, I'm known as some kind of sick pervert.

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My mate said, "What's the news today then?"

"Scattered showers."

"I meant the news, not the weather."

"So did I. The Bathroom Fittings warehouse blew up."

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Last night I was talking to a beautiful young lady.

She asked me whether I liked breasts or legs.

I said I liked a nice shaved pussy ...

Apparently I'm not welcome at KFC any more

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Steps - spots