I couldn't do it, I've had a few offers over the years, I told one woman (who I thought sexually was a perfect match) that it would be so much fun, but it wasn't a good idea. If the spouses found out there would be so much pain, its not worth it.

I agree sweet'n'naughty, but she's a real friend. I think its complex, but I do enjoy hearing from her. Janet is right, I enjoy it. Not sure what to say.

Janet you're right, I do like it. I have started texting my wife (before I read this, I seem to be slightly ahead of you), and I will follow your advice. To the other replies, nothing is going to happen, she's not in my head, but I do enjoy the attention, and I know it really boosts her ego. Confusing, that is why I posted this question. Thank you everybody for the replies.

thanks anonymously lush, I agree!

Janet, those are good questions. No, my wife doesn't know, she does know her. If a guy was doing this with my wife I would shake his hand and ask him his secret, if it fired her up and she initiated sex with me, that's fine with me. I'm pretty secure. And I tried phone sex with my wife tonight, and I failed (this is before I read these replies).
As one person said, its not black and white.

OK, to answer the questions, I just drive her nuts until she agrees to have sex with me, its not forced or anything.
Yes, I know her, she's worked very hard to look great (she works out a lot), it is an ego boost to her that she has an effect on me. No, there is no sexual chatting, but there is some fire between us when we see each other. That said, nothing is going to happen, this has happened to me before and I've never acted on it (from other women over the years), which is sad because usually when that happens I lose somebody who was a great female friend, I don't like that at all. As far as focusing on my wife, I try, and I try, and I try, I have tried everything. I am a fun loving guy, who almost died 5 years ago, I'm easygoing like Sunday morning. I'm romantic, lusty, hardworking, in great shape, I come home every night. My wife has a hormone problem, and is very conservative. But I love her and care about her, so don't tell me to find a new mate. Did you ever see the episode of Everybody Loves Raymond, where Debra is doing aerobics, the instructor is a hot guy, Ray gets more sex, thinks that this guy is getting her worked up, and confronts her, she says:" so you think I'm cheating on you... with you?"
That's what this is! Does this help?

Ok, here's my question: I have a female friend who will text or facebook message with me. Its non-sexual, just friendly, but she's younger and in great shape. I've noticed when I interact with her I am so fired up that I insist on sex with my wife. I do not pretend its this other woman, I'm having sex with my wife. This other woman knows she is having this effect on me and enjoys it. She is also married, I do not believe she has any interest in ending her marriage, as do I. What does anyone think? I deal with a lot of people each day, I have had offers of affairs, always turned them down, but I really enjoy the effect she has on me, but would not cheat, and the texts are innocent. Years ago before I was married I had a girlfriend who would go see Chippendales (male dancers), as soon as the show was over she would call me, I loved it! She was preheated! That's how I view this on me.

yes! it can be so frustrating, I remember one female friend who wanted to have an affair with me (we were both married), I told her "no, it would be so much fun, but no", she would have been the greatest sexual partner, but it would've have all fallen apart.

yes, a few!

sex can be a release, sometimes your hormones are boiling, you need release.
love is much deeper, its what's inside, its knowing someone is there, good times and bad.
I'd like to think they can be separated, but I like to think the person I would have sex with is at least a good friend, but it seems like my female friends want to possess me, just like my wife, so at least with my relationships it doesn't seem possible.