17 Jul 2014 19:36
I have this terrible habit of not being a wealthy divorcee.
30 May 2014 07:54
If any of you guys ever need anything, and I do mean anything...no
07 Apr 2014 07:39
Sorry I'm such an adorable bitch.
11 Feb 2014 04:53
Valentine's Day gift idea: a boquet of breakfast burritos
05 Feb 2014 05:44
Wednesday is cancelled. Everyone can go back to bed
24 Nov 2013 05:35
I have a feeling something is missing this Sunday morning. I have a craving or a yearning or a hunger for something, maybe it's tater tots.
22 Nov 2013 07:24
Of course there are no stupid questions. Why would you even ask me that? Moron.
10 Nov 2013 09:17
06 Nov 2013 04:44
Who delivers decent mac and cheese before 7am in Texas? PM me with the info, thanks.
04 Nov 2013 06:12
Desperate to know men's opinions on boobs, I joined lush. Boobs. That's why we're all here, isn't it?
03 Nov 2013 01:08
Fall back! Unless you're drunk. Stumble around and fall forward flat on your face or something.
31 Oct 2013 03:24
My bastarding bed doesn't want to sleep with me.
18 Aug 2013 21:22
I'm sleepy and I want to be spooned by the night breeze, its fingers in my hair.
15 Dec 2012 13:53
excessively avoiding moderation
08 Dec 2012 11:54
funny how hearts are just the right size to fit in a person's hand. so squeezable.
02 Dec 2012 14:09
YOU GUYS ARE SO GREAT I CAN'T HANDLE IT OK sorry for yelling.
01 Dec 2012 06:48
I wish cum tasted like the cream cheese frosting that's on my breakfast cupcake. What?
27 Nov 2012 10:56
it's cold here. come take my clothes off and warm me up.
11 Nov 2012 05:41
Why yes, I am cute & sweet. In a 'you should sleep with one eye open' kind of way.
10 Nov 2012 04:41
I would like some coffee, toast, and my panties pulled to the side this morning, please.
05 Nov 2012 13:47
Baking cookies with lots of raisins in them for my enemies.
05 Nov 2012 07:36
Don't forget to vote for me for president.
21 Sep 2012 00:10
whispers hello everyone
19 Sep 2012 10:28
I'm a closet freak.
17 Sep 2012 14:38
I've been sitting outside, under a tree, reading a book all afternoon. Just like in 2000 B.C.!
16 Sep 2012 10:19
Cuddle me to near-death then revive me with kisses ok
12 Sep 2012 06:27
I'll have the best of everything, please! And I will pay for it with this magical TO INFINITY credit card I just made.
11 Sep 2012 20:45
Here I am, drinking champagne from the bottle & eating raw cookie dough. Just a typical Tuesday night.
09 Sep 2012 06:13
Good morning all you lovely, filthy-minded freaks! xoxo
04 Sep 2012 07:18
Hmmm, my freshly made bed looks so inviting....must. resist.