Forum posts made by magical_felix

If you get caught or things come to light - there's nowhere for you to run if hubby comes looking for you. Proximity really isn't in your favour on that one.



That's when confidence is king. Tell him you will fucking slit his throat and enjoy it. Most guys that are too stupid or "putting their heads in the sand over their girl fucking around, are total bitches. I'm telling you... It's really shocking and they wont do shit about it. Not a fucking thing beyond "I know".

Watchmen was good. I agree.

I think Rocky may be the best movie without a traditional happy ending in my opinion.

Of course they do... Look here.

Formicophilia - deriving sexual pleasure from insects crawling on the body, specifically on the genitals.
Plushophilia - sexual attraction to stuffed animals or people dressed in animal costumes.
Vorarephilia - arousal by the thought of being eaten by someone, eating someone else, or watching someone eat somebody else.
Inflatophilia - attraction to inflatable animals and toys, deriving sexual pleasure from wearing inflatable suits, or just being aroused from the thought of people inflating like balloons.
Robot fetishism - the thought of having sex with a robot, having sex dressed as robots, or having sex with a person who is transformed into a robot.
Klismaphilia - deriving sexual pleasure from receiving an enema.
Hybristophilia - often known as the Bonnie and Clyde Syndrome, it is a sexual attraction to someone who has committed a gruesome crime.



I think the question was about things you wouldn't do... A couple things on that list seem to be right up your alley.

Maybe the sweetest song ever written.

http://www.youtube.com/embed/NEFnxazWLIg

Meeting her parents too soon... This one chick wanted me to meet her folks like within a week.. dafuq.

LadyX

Funny, you know. She tells good jokes, it's funny, she's a funny girl. It's just, you know. It's... funny, the way she tells the story and everything.

I bet you southern boys are put off by the "in-law" part eh? *nudges you with elbow* ;)

Are you kidding... Those are the worst.

No religion havin', twisted little fuckdolls who don't remember the vice president's name are the best.

You fuck a catholic girl in the ass then you spend the next few weeks trying to convince her there is nothing to feel guilty about so she'll let you do it again. Fuck all that.

"let's pretend we're catholic."

Any advice on how to get my hubby more interested in just plain old boring sex and how to keep him hard longer?



Let him have a hot mistress, then ask her what her secret is for turning him into a stallion that fucks all night long.

That may sound harsh. But let that be a lesson kids, the world is harsh as a motherfucker.

http://24.media.tumblr.com/a4f719a4accb4b983d83725b00cc176e/tumblr_mmtu5lXI3u1rbyvn6o1_500.jpg

I can't believe you guys let nudiepants rile you up like this...

This is a guy that said he never misses a shot with his guns... Never misses.

That's like some basketball fan saying he never misses a shot when he is shooting hoop. A person like this can't be taken seriously. Statements like that make me suspicious there is some sort of mental handicap going on. I mean, can you imagine someone saying that in person, in a serious manner? You'd be dumbfounded then you would look around and see more handicapped people and their handler and realize it's their field day. You would probably just walk away dismayed that you were arguing with this fellow.

And cab drivers across America rejoice.

There is only one difference in nipple taste... Dirty nipples and clean nipples. That's it. So if a guy says "oh wow your nips are so flavorful girl..." he really means. "take a shower bitch."

My furry tendencies were on display here hmm... Maybe it is true what they say... There is a little truth in every joke. Disturbing.

http://24.media.tumblr.com/4271e4e1bfa486814ebd3882c7fdb7df/tumblr_mmnmfakwSR1qzjqrio1_500.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/embed/NdukOus7muE

I never saw the point in trying
Cause I would only let you down
And I just couldn't take you down there with me
I just can't stand to see you drown

I never saw the point in crying
Cause I can't be the way you want
And I don't want lay around here waiting
Waiting for you to change your mind

I
Just keep on telling myself
That I
I don't need anyone else
Yeah I'd
Be just fine on my own
That I
Can make it out
I should
I know

I never saw the point in trying
Cause I would only let you down
And I just couldn't take you down there with me
I just can't stand to see you drown

I never saw the point in crying
Cause I can't be the way you want
And I don't want lay around here waiting
Waiting for you to change your mind

I
I don't know what else I can do
Now I'm,
Done trying cause you
Yeah I
Could never stop loving you
But there's
Nothing else for me to do

I never saw the point in trying
Cause I would only let you down
And I just couldn't take you down there with me
I just can't stand to see you drown

I never saw the point in crying
Cause I can't be the way you want
And I don't want lay around here waiting
Waiting for you to change your mind

What I wouldn't give for the chance to see you smile
I did what I could to be yours just for a while
What I wouldn't give for the chance to see you smile

It's all good.

http://www.youtube.com/embed/oCLek4aSpbo

Furries.

http://ist1-2.filesor.com/pimpandhost.com/4/8/4/0/48406/n/q/i/5/nqi5/FSaGr_S1.a_m.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/embed/h0RQnGhxZzg

I've been sleeping for forty days and
Yeah, I know that I'm sleeping cause this dream 's too amazing
She got gold doorknobs where her eyes used to be, yeah
One turn and I learned what it really means to see, yeah

It's the magical mystery kind
Must be a lie
Bye bye to the too good to be true kind of love
Oooooh I could die
Oooooh now, I could die

Now I've been sleeping for sixty days and
Nobody better pinch me
Bitch I swear, go crazy
She got jumper cable lips
She got sunset on her breath

I inhaled just a little bit
Now I got no fear of death

It's the magical mystery kind
Must be a lie
Bye bye to the too good to be true kind of love
Oooooh I could die
Oooooh now, I could die

It's the magical mystery kind
Must be a lie
Bye bye to the too good to be true kind of love
Oooooh I could die
Oooooh now, I could die

http://www.youtube.com/embed/Zd6zTuklghY

If you're listening , whoa oh oh oh oh oh
Sing it back, whoa oh oh oh oh oh
String from your tether unwinds
(String from your tether unwinds) whoa oh, whoa oh
Up and outward to bind
(Up and outward to bind) whoa oh, whoa oh

I was spinning free , whoa oh oh oh oh oh
With a little sweet and simple numbing me.

Are you listening? whoa oh oh oh oh oh
Sing it back , whoa oh oh oh oh oh
So tell me what do I need
(tell me what do I need) whoa oh, whoa oh
When words lose their meaning
(When words lose their meaning) whoa oh, whoa oh

I was spinning free, whoa oh oh oh oh oh
With a little sweet and simple numbing me.
Yeah, stumble till you crawl , whoa oh oh oh oh oh
Sinking into sweet uncertainty

(Are you listening? Are you listening?)

If you're listening, whoa oh oh oh oh oh
If you're listening, are you listening?
Sing it back, whoa oh oh oh oh oh
If you're listening, are you listening?
I'm still running away
(I'm still running away) whoa oh, whoa oh
Won't play your hide and seek game
(your hide and seek game) whoa oh, whoa oh

I was spinning free, whoa oh oh oh oh oh
With a little sweet and simple numbing me.
What a dizzy dance, whoa oh oh oh oh oh
This sweetness will not be concerned with me.
No the sweetness will not be concerned with me.
No the sweetness will not be concerned with me.

don't lie to me and tell me you never took a piss in public, Jack. we all know better. :)

I have yeah... But I shouldn't have to hide it. It's natural GODDAMMIT!

or worse, what if Magical Felix was dating your daughter? holy fuck, i am SO not ever having kids now!

I usually have the moms totally fooled. Moms are easy. Moms love me.

Alright so this was the deal in 1978-1980... It's not happening now, but...

That woman was the very definition of Cold Fish... I dated her youngest daughter for almost 3 years and was never invited to a holiday or family dinner.

Hell, I was never invited inside the house...as in not through the fucking front door. I had their daughter home before the 11pm curfew, then before the midnight curfew...then (well she was at college the third year and there was no curfew - and by that time I didn't give a shit about the familial home...I wanted her room mate out of her dorm room on weekends).

So, Auntie...how do you deal with a parent who apparently doesn't like you, just because you aren't the guy she wants her daughter to be infatuated with?

ps...Me and the girl's father got along pretty well, but he didn't wear the pants in the family as he never invited me inside or out to his back deck either.

The mother even asked me on a phone call (around month 34 or so of us dating steadily)... "I hope you and Marilyn have never had..."

"No, Ma'am...your daughter and I have never......"

Yeah, I wasn't going to be a total asshole about the whole thing. "Your daughter and I invented about 7 new positions, Mrs Smith, you'd be a grandmother by now, except we both know you can't get pregnant by swallowing cum."

How do you deal with a parent who detests the very sight of you...while you're in love with their daughter (or son)?

That can't be the only time a parent didn't like you... I mean I would be pretty annoyed if my daughter was all about wellmademale too... Can you imagine? wellmademale is dating your daughter? fuuuuck that.

Truer than the streets, muthafucka.

Tallest: 6'2"


That's a big bitch.

PPL need to stop being so sensitive about breast feeding in public. It's natural and for the ones who complain should know they were breast feed in public so grow up.

Pissing and shitting is natural too. Just sayin

I dreamt that I was at a fancy restaurant waiting for a table and I was typing out a text with my phone up in front of me. Brad Pitt was waiting too and he was being such a prick because he thought I was taking his picture, which I wasn't. So I was like, "fuck off Brad, no one wants your picture..." and that was that. So after a bit Barack Obama walks in and he was like, "what up Jack? Is this place the shit or what?" and I tried to talk to Obama but then Brad was pretending to be my buddy now so he could get at Barack. Such a bullshitter... We took a group picture then my alarm went off.

I see it everyday in my house. My youngest daughter nurses my granddaughter in public. It is a very natural thing. If there are visitors in thee house she covers up, but still nurses. I don't look at her in lust. I admire that her body can provide nourishment for her child. I have several woman friends who nurse in public. They are open about letting me see them. They ask for my help when pumping milk from their breasts.


http://upload.lushstories.com/1757099238-tumblr_inline_mh8ro8YMEy1qz4rgp.gif