He had a painful breakup about 2 years ago and is a bit cautious about relationships now- afraid of getting hurt.

Last night as part of a conversation he told me I should be "wary" of him as his level of emotional commitment sometimes was not as great as his level of sexual interest.

This is hard to read...sounds like he could either be insecure about how emotionally unavailable he is (which takes more self-awareness than lots of people have) or he's hedging his commitment, having sensed that you seem to want this for a long-haul relationship and maybe (for whatever reason) he doesn't.

also said that occasionally he wondered if he was using me as a sex object. Now I have no problem with relationships which are sex only, no strings, if that's what both people want. However I don't want that and right from the start I've made it clear I want a full relationship, not just sex only.

Take it from someone who has the same issues at times...there is such a thing as too much honesty...telling you he's worried about using you is just that- I've never conveyed that sentiment without the woman hearing an essential admission that she's being used RIGHT NOW.

that's because that's what it is, genius, and you're surprised when you have problems??


I'm now left wondering what to do - should I.....
- do nothing and just see how his behaviour is - everyone has the occasional moment of uncertainty and self-doubt
- confront this directly and say I'm not willing to be "wary" with him, I want to be able to trust him, and if I can't trust - then we can't have a relationship
- any other option ?


If you want to end the whole thing upon finding out he's not ready to be long term with you, then confronting him is a good option...otherwise, I can't imagine anything good coming from it. Take it as a blessing of information, and pay close attention...l'm guessing you'll be able to read his body language and the way he talks to you to figure out what is what. At least he's not leading you on, which again can't be taken for granted.

points for not being a complete dick, hmmm dubious.


bassman199 wrote:
Once again, I agree with Van ...


Well you would... you are Mr Boring Nobody

And you must be the Mr. Asshole I've heard so much about. Maybe you're lacking in wisdom here; rumor has it you're decent with grammar though.

a blowhard calling a kettle black. take it easy with dbarclay, nobody can take a fucking joke anymore.

But sex addiction is when someone will fuck a person they aren't even attracted to, just because they need sex.

after a perusal within the hallowed cyber-halls of wikipedia (which is the trusted authority on EVERYTHING), it looks like there's a lot of resistance within the psychological community to buy into the concept of sexual addiction. You do see a lot of mention of hypersexual activity and tendencies as symptoms of OCD, bi-polar disorder, and other mental illnesses or instabilities.

I tend to agree with that assessment as opposed to "poor guy, he doesn't want to fuck the equivalent of a cheerleader squad every week, but he just can't help himself...and oh, how his soul is tortured!"







you don't have any idea what the fuck you're talking about, but you use enough words it seems like make sense hahaha. Sex addition exists, you just enjoy sex so real adversity you can't fathom. just go paint something

my sex education consisted mostly of dumb-ass brother's tales of rounding the bases with girls, shared advice from equally dumb friends of mine, and porn.



wow haha how did that turn out for you, Romeo? Not well I would guess.

basically any bullshit rumor that anyone says or believes, reached my threshold for all that haha

being taken off a friend list without explanation *looks at willinbk*

finding out that in your absence, somebody has been claiming you're in love with them when that's well established not to be the case, haha. yes, that pisses me off

support group time! hahaha

Happens to me too, Alex, be proud of your arousal!

Not only have I dated interracially, I tend to prefer it. My family doesn't flip out, but I know it makes them nervous.

I like the way the melting pot tastes!

Painter I did play sports and I am American and sure shit like seeing a dick is just gonna happen but what I'm saying is don't let that be the only thing we see.

You're right, we should see stock pics of underwear models once in a while too....

What ??I love greased up well defined male strippers grinding and ripping off their underwear.....*happy look*

http://www.hirethings.co.nz/photo/image/1037/large/abs.jpg

It must be a South African thing Lois!!

nope, that's an American thing too....at least for this American!

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