Forum posts made by morganhawke

Topic The 7 Letter Game
Posted 10 Feb 2011 07:42

O P T I O N S

Ophelia Pendleton's timely intervention aroused nightly secretions.

R E Q U I E M

Topic Word association game
Posted 10 Feb 2011 07:35

Rock

Topic Around the world.
Posted 10 Feb 2011 07:33

Afghanistan

Topic Keep them related!
Posted 10 Feb 2011 07:31

Frederick Mellinger (Frederick's of Hollywood)

Topic So, you wanna write SEX?
Posted 10 Feb 2011 04:19

So, you wanna write SEX?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The easiest way to plot an Erotic Story is to decide on what you want for your climactic sex scene – then build a story and characters around it to make it VITAL for that scene to happen. Once you know who and roughly what you want to happen… Then what?

HOW do you get what's in your imagination down on Paper?

Writing Sex is easier than you might think because it's formulaic. I don't mean the story plots, I mean the sexual actions themselves:

Action A > triggers Reaction B, which triggers > Reaction C...

Once you know what you want to happen, the rest is practically Plug & Play.

Where do you get the actual Gymnastics to put on paper?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Research my lovelies, RESEARCH.

Porn
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I recommend watching porn -- real porn, as in, live-action movies with people actually doing it. NOT anime porn! While extremely pretty, anime leaves out a LOT of important details such as what’s actually getting wet (sweat, drool, other fluids…) when and how lube is used, and the actual physical reactions that occur, (shudders, flinches, goose-bumps, moans, writhing…)

Be CHOOSY about what you watch. Some of that stuff is NASTY…!

Erotica
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An easier though less accurate method is by digging out your favorite erotic stories and highlighting the sex scenes you liked best.

Once you have your favorite scenes highlighted, break down what happened and how, then rewrite the whole scene in your own words. You don’t ever want to use exactly the same words, especially not the dialogue, that’s plagiarism. Paraphrasing, on the other hand, is perfectly acceptable.

However…!
-- Be aware that the authors you are borrowing from may have missed something or gotten something totally WRONG. This is especially true if you are borrowing from Fan-fiction. A little back-up research on using that particular position or toy might turn out to be physically impossible or might reveal a few exciting tidbits you can use.

My Recommendations:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Porn:
-- Anything by Ninn Workx (Google is your friend!) The participants are actually attractive, the sets are very high class, and their genre selections go from sweet & sensual all the way to hard-core kink.

For Het Erotica:
-- Books by Angela Knight & Laurell K. Hamilton. They write detailed sex that doesn’t make you wanna hurl.

Slash/Gay/Yaoi:
Go to: Minatour's Sex Tips for Slash Writers
-- Google is your friend!

On Anal Sex & LUBE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- From: Minatour's Sex Tips for Slash Writers .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- If lube is not used , how much pain there really is? Could it come to real injuries, as in requiring medical treatment?
-- Madwoman
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Well, it depends on the guy (or girl) and the circumstances. If the catcher is experienced, and relaxed, it can actually be possible to have non-lubricated anal sex without too much damage or pain. There would probably be some tearing of the anal ring tissue, and some bleeding, but not so much as to require medical attention. On the other hand, if the pitcher is rough, or the catcher inexperienced (or the situation is non-consensual), there could be substantial bleeding requiring a trip to the ER and maybe some stitches (though I don't actually know if stitches would be the best treatment for a tear in that area).

The real danger in anal sex is the possibility of tearing the inner membrane of the anal canal, which can lead to peritonitis, but that is VERY rare in normal sex. It's more likely to happen from rape or inexperienced fisters (fingernails can be sharp).

For the most part, non-lubed anal sex is a no-go . The catcher wouldn't be able to stand the pain, though there are guys who are able to relax the muscles enough to do it.
-- Minotaur
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In Short:
-- If the receiver is extremely excited and EXPERIENCED enough to know how to relax their muscles voluntarily enough to allow comfortable penetration, then lube isn't needed. If they're not that experienced then Lube is definitely a necessity.

Okay, so now that you know what you want to happen
How do you Write it?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Writing Sex is easy because it's formulaic - not the stories, the way the sex scenes are written.

SEX Scene = ACTION Scene
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A sex scene is nothing more than an ACTION Scene, with emotional bits tossed in for flavor, and all Action sequences MUST be written in the Order in which they happen - Chronologically! If you want the reader to SEE the actions that you are trying to portray as a movie in their minds, Chronological Order is the ONLY way to do it.

ACTION Scenes = Chronological Order
ACTION then REACTION

Something happens TO the character -- starting a
CHAIN of REACTIONS .

1. The Character knee-jerk REACTS - Physically...
2. AND they feel the physical sensations of the Happening -- suffering a Physical Reaction.
3. AND THEN they have an Emotional Reaction reflected in their Thoughts and/or Dialogue about what just happened.
4. AND THEN they Do Something in Retaliation.

This Retaliation Action incites the Other character to do something NEW -- starting the whole Chain of Reactions again.


Violating Chronological Order is Bad.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Incorrect:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The flash of pain exploded in my cheek as her hand lashed out to slap me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Correct:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Her hand lashed out in a slap.
My cheek exploded with a flash of pain.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WHY is Reversing the Actions Bad?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you knock the actions out of order, the Reader's Mental Movie STOPS and the Reader has to STOP READING to mentally rearrange what they just read into the correct order to get the movie back. Do it too many times and reading become a chore rather than a pleasure. Never forget, if your story is too hard to read, the reader can always find another story.

Watch out for the Evil ' AS '.
-- Nine times out of ten, ‘as’ in a sentence means that your Actions and Reactions have been reversed.

-- Quick Test : Replace the word ‘ as ’ with the word ‘ and ’. If ‘ and ’ doesn’t read right in the sentence, you can pretty much guarantee that it’s because your Reactions came before the Action that caused it.

WRITING Sex
The Magic Formula!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stimulus > Reaction > Perception > Emotion > Response
(> = leads to...)

1. Stimulus - Something happened TO the main POV character
2. Reaction - Their immediate physical reaction (jerk, twitch, kick, punch, groan, shout...) >
3. Perception - What they sensed physically (saw, smelled, tasted, felt, heard) >
4. Emotion - How they felt Emotionally >
5. Response - What they Did or Said* because of what just happened. (*Dialogue is an ACTION!) >

In Detail!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
External Action
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. Physical Act/ what was done TO the main POV character >

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Viewpoint Character’s Reaction
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2. Physical Reaction / Did they: shudder? flinch? writhe? Shout? Kick? Punch? >
3. Sensory Reaction / What it felt like physically >
4. Emotional Reaction / Internal dialogue or Vocal Comment >
5. Deliberate Reaction / What they did or said in retaliation >

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
External Reaction
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
6. Next Character’s Physical Action and/or Dialogue. > (No Internal Narration! Putting Internal Narration here means you’ve just head-hopped!)

Begin whole thing again:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Viewpoint Character’s Reaction
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. Physical Reaction / Did they shudder? flinch? writhe? >
2. Sensory Reaction / What it felt like >
3. Emotional Reaction / Internal dialogue or Vocal Comment >
4. Deliberate Reaction / What they did or said in retaliation >

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Partner’s (External) Reaction
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
5. Physical Action/Action or dialogue or Action & then Dialogue. >

Begin whole thing again.
-- Are we having fun yet?

In ACTION!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Partner’s External Action
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Physical Act/ what was done >
-- In a sudden rush, Sam grabbed Rina's wrist and shoved her back against the wall. His lips came down and covered Rina's.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Viewpoint Character’s Reaction
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Physical Reaction / Did they shudder? flinch? writhe? >
-- Rina stiffened in shock.

Sensory Reaction / What it felt like >
-- The firm lips covering her mouth were surprisingly soft, and moist. She could feel a tongue sweeping against her bottom lip.

Emotional Reaction/ Internal or Vocal Comment >
-- Sam was kissing her? Sam was kissing her? Sam was kissing her!

Deliberate Reaction / What they did or said in retaliation >
-- She closed her eyes tight and tried to pull back, but the wall was right against the back of her head. Sam's arms blocked her from moving to either side. Her wrist was trapped, pinned by Sam's hand, so she couldn’t punch some sense into him either. She opened his mouth to shout at the big brute.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Partner’s External Reaction
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Physical Action/Action or dialogue or Action & then Dialogue. >
-- Sam's tongue swept into Rina's open mouth to engage Rina's tongue in a warm wet duel.


On the Page...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a sudden rush, Sam grabbed Rina's wrist and shoved her back against the wall. His lips came down and covered Rina's.

Rina stiffened in shock. The firm lips covering her mouth were surprisingly soft, and moist. She could feel a tongue sweeping against her bottom lip. Sam was kissing her? Sam was kissing her? Sam was kissing her ! She closed her eyes tight and tried to pull back, but the wall was right against the back of her head. Sam's arms blocked her from moving to either side. Her wrist was trapped, pinned by Sam's hand, so she couldn’t punch some sense into him either. She opened her mouth to shout at the big brute.

Sam's tongue swept into Rina's open mouth and engaged Rina's tongue in a warm wet duel.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grammar Keys:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ACTION goes BEFORE Thoughts & Comments.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- The body reacts faster than thought. Ask any martial artist. On the other hand, a reactionary comment such as "Ouch!" can go first as it plays the part of an ACTION, rather than a thought.

It has been brought to my attention that someone has been telling the Internet writers that Dialogue always comes before Actions in a paragraph, that paragraphs should Begin with dialogue. This is WRONG. Not one grammar book I own supports this in any way. I also brought this little ‘rule’ to two of my publication editors. They laughed their butts off, then told me that if they ever caught me doing it, they’d kick my ass.

Watch for the Evil 'AS'.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- Nine times out of ten, if you see the word 'As' you've reversed your Actions with your Reactions.

ONE Point of View per Scene!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- Or it gets really confusing as to who is feeling & doing what.

NO SHARING!
-- Separate each character’s actions & dialogue from the next.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- Characters do NOT share Sentences or Paragraphs - EVER. Having two people doing stuff in one paragraph makes the Reader's visuals muddy. The Reader's mental movie - your story - comes to a screeching halt while they try to figure out what the hell just happened.

Put each individual character’s Actions -- AND the Dialogue that goes with those actions -- in a new Paragraph**. It may look choppy on the page, but the reader has absolutely no doubt as to who is doing what. The Reader's perceptions are more important than whether or not your type looks tidy.

** (Yes, the dialogue AND the Actions of one character go in the SAME paragraph TOGETHER.)

When describing Sensations & Emotions, Adjectives are your Friend.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- THIS is where you use all your purple prose. Make every adjective highly opinionated to get the reader right into the action as though THEY are feeling it.

In Conclusion:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AFTER figuring all this out the hard way, I discovered that this whole routine (Action / Reaction) is explained in exquisite detail in the Writer’s Digest book: Scene and Structure by Jack Bickham.

Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DISCLAIMER: As with all advice, take what you can use and throw out the rest. As a multi-published author, I have been taught some fairly rigid rules on what is publishable and what is not. If my rather straight-laced (and occasionally snotty,) advice does not suit your creative style, by all means, IGNORE IT.

Topic Word association game
Posted 10 Feb 2011 03:33

subdue

Topic Keep them related!
Posted 10 Feb 2011 03:31

Friedrich Duerrenmatt (playwright 1921-1990)

Topic Around the world.
Posted 10 Feb 2011 03:27

Orlando (Florida)

Topic Keep them related!
Posted 10 Feb 2011 03:26

Caspar David Friedrich (19th-century German Romantic landscape painter.)

Topic Keep them related!
Posted 10 Feb 2011 02:25

Roger Ebert (Thumbs up!)

Topic I am naked because .....
Posted 10 Feb 2011 02:23

I'm naked because I'm in the house alone writing Smut!

Topic Around the world.
Posted 10 Feb 2011 02:18

Guam

Topic Word association game
Posted 10 Feb 2011 02:13

rebuke

Topic The 7 Letter Game
Posted 10 Feb 2011 02:07

BRAISED

Busty Rebecca always insists salivation equals delicious.

NOVELTY

Topic Around the world.
Posted 10 Feb 2011 01:59

Lithuania

Topic Keep them related!
Posted 10 Feb 2011 01:57

Roy Rogers

Topic Tricks for Writing DESCRIPTION
Posted 10 Feb 2011 01:49

Hi Nicola, thank you for the warm welcome!


Thank you for posting. I have referred people to your blog in the past, stickied in this section. You offer some excellent tips icon_smile

So I saw! I wasn't even sure it was mine until I clicked it. I'm deeply honored.

We have removed the option for people with less than 20 posts to include links (anti-spam measure), however if you'd like to forward them to me, I can post them.

I'll do that! Both are writing links to help with Description. Thank you so much!

Or you could head into the word games section for 2 minutes and get your post count up to 20!

Now there's an idea!

Topic Tricks for Writing DESCRIPTION
Posted 10 Feb 2011 01:05

Tricks for Writing DESCRIPTION
------------- Original Message -----------
“I think the biggest problem I have is lack of detail. I can see things in my head, but other than the general surroundings, I'm always too intent on what my characters are thinking, or doing, or about to do to remember to add the details necessary to paint a really clear picture of where they are and their environment.” -- Wanna Rite Reel Gud

The way to deal with that is by writing what you can. When you’re done, go back and put in all the rest. Also, in situations like this, a beta-reader is your best bet at seeing where you skipped something.

As for What to describe and How Much to describe…

Getting the IMAGE on Paper
Avoid Simple Nouns:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Use a Specific Noun rather than a simple and vague noun to automatically pop in description.

Instead of: the door, the car, the tree, the house, the sword, the robe, the hat...

Write: the French doors, the Subaru, the oak, the Victorian cottage, the claymore, the yukata, the fedora...

Adjectives are your Friend!
Adjectives give your objects and locations emotional flavor and impact. The trick is not to over-do it! Moderation - moderation - moderation.

One adjective per Noun:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ADD an Adjective to a specific Noun. The ornate French tapestry, the rusty Subaru, the quaint Victorian cottage, the gleaming claymore, the blood-stained yukata, the gray fedora.

Two adjectives per Sensation:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sight, Sound, Taste, Texture, Scent - are all perceived through the senses. The glaringly red French doors, the seductively throbbing jazz, the creamy bite of yogurt, the nubby white dishcloth, the pungent musk of wet dog.

------------- Original Message -----------
"...I think that particularly striking or important items deserve a few sentences to sketch them in and give the appropriate details. Still, for many scenes, most readers have enough 'stock imagery' in their memories to supply a working interpretation. They will garb members of a corporate meeting in dark suits, give soldiers rifles or spears depending on the era and place, and so on." -- Literature Aficionado

Absolutely! Using a direct noun with only one or two adjectives can create an entire image.

Members of a corporate meeting:
- His shimmering black Armani suit
- Her expensively tailored scarlet Kaspar suit

Soldiers
- The red-coated British soldier
- The Roman centurion
- The woad-painted Celtic warrior
- The Viking

Buildings
- The gleaming steel and glass skyscraper
- The run-down Victorian mansion
- The towering Chinese pagoda
- the rustic Japanese sukiya cottage

The Not-So Dreaded -ly and –ing Words:
Every once in a while you will hear someone whine that you shouldn't use words that end in –ly or -ing. The "No -ly or –ing words!" whiners are usually the same people that say: " Don't use Adjectives !"

The "No -ly or –ing Words" rule DOES NOT APPLY to Fiction!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This rule comes from Basic School Grammar - grammar that was intended for NON-Fiction, such as reports, essays, and other boring, description-less, education-related, or business-related writing that doesn’t require description. Fiction THRIVES on description.

Think people, how the heck are you supposed to describe something without adjectives? You CAN'T.

Still Feeling Guilty?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you can find another word that says the same thing without ending in -ly, use it. If you can't, then use what you have.

Making the Reader FEEL the Passion -- Make the prose PURPLE!
Sensually-Descriptive words are the key to Passionate and Romantic fiction. If it implies a Sense, sound, taste, sight, texture, scent…, you're halfway there!

So, where do you get those passionate words? From Trained Professionals: Other Writers. I pulled out my favorite trashy novels and hunted down phrases that really caught my attention and then I made a list of all the PRETTY words.

salacious humor
carnal gratification
languorous bliss
shrieking culmination
disconcerting stimulation
brutal carnal rapture
exquisite torment
lustful cravings
irresolute yearning
skittish laughter

(It’s Not plagiarism unless you are copying whole paragraphs word for word.)

I also dug through my thesaurus and made another list of all the adjectives I use over and over and over...

Assault
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
attack, advancing, aggressive, assailing, charging, incursion, inundated, invasion, offensive, onset, onslaught, overwhelmed, ruinous, tempestuous, strike, violation,

Beautiful
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
admirable, alluring, angelic, appealing, bewitching, charming, dazzling, delicate, delightful, divine, elegant, enticing, exquisite, fascinating, gorgeous, graceful, grand, magnificent, marvelous, pleasing, radiant, ravishing, resplendent, splendid, stunning, sublime,

Dangerous
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
alarming, critical, fatal, formidable, impending, malignant, menacing, mortal, nasty, perilous, precarious, pressing, serious, terrible, threatening, treacherous, urgent, vulnerable, wicked,

Painful
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
aching, agonizing, arduous, awful, biting, burning, caustic, dire, distressing, dreadful, excruciating, extreme, grievous, inflamed, piercing, raw, sensitive, severe, sharp, tender, terrible, throbbing, tormenting,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Looking for a Quick List for commonly used words in Erotica?
The Erotic Thesaurus - http://www.darkerotica.net/EroticThesaurus.html

Looking for a Quick List to describe Emotions and Body Language?
The Non-Verbal Thesaurus - http://darkerotica.blogspot.com/2006/02/non-verbal-thesaurus.html

------------- Original Message -----------
"I'm surprised the purple prose avocation didn't have people up in arms. That's normally frowned upon here, but I think there's a difference between bad/overly done purple prose and vivid description." -- Fan-fiction Writer

I think the main problem with purple prose is when it goes on to the point of being ridiculous. Purple prose is a lot like candy. Too much and it will make you sick to your stomach. Used in tiny amounts, a word here or there, can add emotional punch to an otherwise clinically dry scene.

How & When to Describe It:
Rule of Thumb #1:
-- The moment the Viewpoint Character notices it -- DESCRIBE IT!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Picture the scene in your head like a movie. If it shows up in your scene - it belongs on the page.

Rule of Thumb #2:
-- Description should always reflect the OPINION of the Viewpoint Character.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oscar the Grouch is not going to see - or describe - a field of roses the same way as Big Bird. Darth Vader's opinion (and description,) of Yoda is not going to resemble Luke Skywalker's. The Heroine is NOT going to describe the Villain the same way she would her Hero.

Rule of Thumb #3
- Limit your detailed descriptions to stuff that MATTERS.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How do you tell what's relevant & what's not? How IMPORTANT is it to the story? Will this object/setting/character matter later?

* If it's Important, then describe it in loving detail.
* If it's only incidental, than only the tiniest sketch is needed.

Note: Fantasy Characters should get the opportunity to show off the full extent of their powers at least once because those powers are what make that character who they are.

Rule of Thumb #4
- Moderation! Moderation! Moderation!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once you have described a setting or a person thoroughly, you don’t need to Keep Describing them -- unless they change. A small clue here and there, such as keeping to specific nouns, will do.

WHAT to Describe:
Scenery
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Every new scene should open with a snapshot of description that details the stage the action is about to happen in.

No more than 60 words max. If you need more than that to describe your setting - splice it into your Action.

Location Changes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Every time the scenery changes: every new room, every new view, every new place they arrive at - gets described; so the reader can see it, and experience it too.

Locations get 30 words max, because that's about how much the average person can catch in a single look. The rest of the details should be mixed in between the actions and dialogue as the character gets a better look around.

Note: Fantasy and Sci-Fi Require MORE description.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In most sci-fi's and fantasies, the otherworldly SETTING is just as important as the characters because the differences between Fantasy & Reality actually affect the plot -- such as things that are possible in a Fantasy setting, but aren't in the normal world, and vice versa.

If your story is based in the normal world, and only the characters are fantastic, then the setting only matters in their immediate location and how it affects them directly. For example, rain has more of an immediate effect on characters than would sunshine - unless they're a vampire.

The snapshot at the beginning of every scene is still the same length (60 words) - but you have to continue to add more description as the characters move through the world.

------------- Original Message -----------
"It's also a good idea to visit a place that is similar to the scene of the happenings; if you can of course. You can't well describe something you don't have an idea of." -- Word Scholar

Nothing can replace first-hand experience for describing something, but one should never underestimate the power of the Internet.

Just about any place in the world is available for your viewing pleasure from photographs and interactive panoramas to maps and floor plans. Journal blogs written by travelers can also be a really good resource for those writing about places they have never experienced.

No one resource will ever cover it all, but then that's what browsers such as Google.com are for.

People
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Think of how you see characters in a movie. THAT'S how you describe the people your character sees. Start at the top and describe down. Bottom to Top description implies that the Body is more important than the Mind. It implies that the person being viewed is an OBJECT, their feelings are of no consequence to the viewer.

People get three whole sentences max. If you need more than three sentences, thread the rest in with the dialogue.

------------- Original Message -----------
"While it may be convenient and easy to describe someone from head to toe every time, it gets dull after the second or third such 'shot'..." -- Literature Aficionado

No argument there. However, it's a good idea to describe the characters and their settings at least ONCE, preferably when the POV character first lays eyes on them. After that, only tiny reminders are needed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Describing the Viewpoint Character - Yes or No?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
YES! YES! YES! I don’t know about you, but when I’m reading a story, I wanna know whose head I'm in -- as soon as I'm in that head! And I want to know what that person LOOKS LIKE! (Damn it...)

NEVER assume that the person reading your story is familiar with the fandom! For example, I would have never bought and read the ‘ Yu Yu Hakusho ’ manga series if I hadn’t read some rather compelling fan-fiction.

------------- Original Message -----------
"...I'd like to emphasize that you wrote "viewpoint character" since that's different than when the thing or person is first introduced." -- Fan-fiction Writer

Actually it SHOULDN'T be. The only one who should be noticing anything and have an opinion on what is being viewed should be the viewpoint character - unless you are using an omniscient POV, the Camera's Eye viewpoint. When using the Camera's Eye viewpoint, those descriptions should be very cut and dried with no emotional impact at all, strictly, "this is here, they are there".

The "story-teller/ fairy-tale" style of writing is completely different. In this style the story-teller is a character too, such as in the Lemony Snicket books.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Describing the Viewpoint Character is Tricky - Literally.
You have to use tricks to do it.
The simplest way to describe the POV character is by having them see their reflection, (which, is also why it’s the most commonly ABUSED technique.) The other way is by having the character ‘notice’ themselves, one little action at a time. This works best when the character is highly opinionated about their appearance.

The trick I prefer to use is threading the Description into the character's Actions. Using their Actions brings other parts of the character into focus, rather than describe the character in one lump paragraph.

Example:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The frantic thumping and grunting in the executive office was getting louder.

Penelope scowled. Sitting at her desk less than three feet from the closed door, she couldn’t avoid hearing the sounds of the occupants’…personal enjoyment, loud and clear.

Not that they were bothering to be quiet about it.

As usual on Friday and only an hour before it was time to leave, her tall, dark, and handsome boss was banging yet another tall, dark, and statuesque visiting executive on his desk like there was no tomorrow – while she played door guard. Not that anyone wouldn’t know what was going on from the sounds alone.

Very nearly growling in annoyance, she pulled out the slender bone chopsticks holding her pale blond hair in its French twist, then reached into her pink clutch purse for the small brush. What did he see in that…woman? Or rather, what didn’t he see in her? Deliberately not looking at her boss's door, she viciously brushed out then coiled her long pale blonde mane back into its tight, neat twist.

What the hell was wrong with her?

Penelope jammed the pale bone chop-sticks back into the excruciatingly neat blond coil then dropped her brush back into her pink clutch purse, and snapped it closed. Nothing, so far as she could tell. She was pretty. She was sweet. Prettier and sweeter than that…vamp he had on his desk. She didn't need half the make-up that...woman used.

So why couldn't she catch his interest?

She was everything an elite executive assistant should be. She was organized, efficient, and reliable. She was always on time and ready to be of assistance. She kept a pleasant smile on her face at all times with plenty of lip-gloss. She maintained a professional and lady-like appearance with extremely tailored shell pink and cream business suits that were always neat and tidy.

All that effort and...her handsome boss barely noticed her. Not even a second glance to notice that she wore lace-top stockings rather than pantyhose. He saw every other female that breathed, but not her.

The only time he did notice her was when he needed her to fetch an expensive gift for one of his paramours, or guard his door so he could bang yet another female on his desk.

She crumpled the scrawled notations she was supposed to be entering into his itinerary. It was so damned -- unfair!

The moaning in his office reached a crescendo.

She kicked the leg of her desk. The desk made a hollow bang and slammed against the wall with a nice solid thunk. Stupid boss.

“Oh, baby, I’m right there!” Her boss’s voice was husky and loud. “Let me cum on your tits. Yeah, that’s it. Fuck! I’m cumming, ah…fuck! I’m cumming!”

Just what she didn’t need to hear only an hour before her long empty weekend started.

Penelope snatched her purse from her desk, got up, and shrugged into her pale pink suit jacket. Screw them. They could deal with whoever walked in on them on their own.

She walked toward the elevator, not even bothering to make her strides a lady-like mince. Yeah, she was leaving an hour early, but she was a good girl, she never did anything wrong. Her boss would just assume she had an appointment that he’d forgotten about.

She ground her teeth. He’d forget his head if it wasn’t attached .

She got into the elevator and hit the button before anyone else could get on. In perfect privacy, she indulged in a small bit of refreshingly loud wall kicking.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
From: Bad Girl

DESCRIPTION ~ NOT just for pretty Pictures.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING! ~ Missing descriptive cues can cause: Author Angst!
Once upon a time, when I was a beginning writer of Smut, I wrote a kick ass, "World of Grim Darkness" werewolf erotica story. I had a right to think the story kicked ass. I got a lot of letters telling me so.

And then, one day, I got a lovely letter gushing on how much they liked my story. It was so funny! They went into detail explaining exactly how pleased they were and how witty my story was in so many places - but I hadn't ended it right. Where was the punch line?

The PUNCH LINE ?!

Yes, fellow writers, my serious "World of Grim Darkness" werewolf erotica had been completely misinterpreted - as an erotic Comedy!

Talk about your total author disillusionment.

This misinterpretation happened because I had written strong sarcastic dialogue, (a trademark in all my stories,) but I had left too many other cues out. It was not apparent at all, to this reader that my characters were speaking sarcastically - counter to their true feelings.

In short, I didn't have enough of the POV character's feelings displayed through inner dialogue or body-language cues for the reader to pick up what I was really trying to show. Sigh… And that's how I learned the most important rule of fiction:

What CAN be Misinterpreted WILL be Misinterpreted.

According to my current fan letters, I DON'T make that mistake any more.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DESCRIPTION - The Only way to get your vision across to the Reader.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DISCLAIMER: As a multi-published author, I have been taught some fairly rigid rules on what is publishable and what is not. If my rather straight-laced (and occasionally snotty,) advice does not suit your creative style, by all means, IGNORE IT.

Topic Writing Fetish Fiction
Posted 10 Feb 2011 00:31

Writing Fetish Fiction

-----Original Message-----
"Could you do a guide on how to make a decent PWP revolving around fetishes with things like 'Add detail,' and 'Don't make it choppy?' -- Furry Fan
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What makes Fetish fiction unique from any other kind of fiction?

Actually, this same question can be applied to any genre of fiction. What makes ANY genre of fiction unique from any other?

The DETAILS or more specifically, what is being detailed.

~ In a Romance, the Drama is detailed.
~ In a Mystery, the Puzzle, or rather the clues to the puzzle are detailed.
~ In a Sci-Fi, the underlying Theory or Technology is detailed.
~ In Erotica, the Sex is detailed.
~ In Pulp Fiction, the Adventure is detailed.
~ In Fetish Fiction, the featured FETISH is detailed.

Okay, that seems rather simple -- until you realize that not only does the key element to each genre need to be detailed, it needs to turn the PLOT too! That key element must not only be there and detailed, it must be what makes your story HAPPEN.

Why?

To forward any story's plot you need Dramatic Tension. If all the dramatic tension in your Fetish story comes from somewhere OTHER than the Fetish scenes, then the Fetish scenes aren't necessary to tell the story. If the Fetish scenes aren't necessary to tell the story then you're NOT writing FETISH fiction, you're writing whatever else is turning your plot.

In fact, if the Fetish scenes aren't necessary to tell the story then they don’t belong in the story. ANYTHING that isn’t necessary to tell the story doesn’t belong in the story!

Memorize this:
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If it CAN be pulled out - it SHOULD be pulled out.

It's the basic law of fiction of every genre.

Azimov codified it for Science Fiction:
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"If you can remove the Science from the Science Fiction and still have a viable story in another genre - you did it WRONG!" (He does not consider space operas to be science fiction. He considers them high-tech Westerns.)

Edo Von Belkom said it in his book “ Writing Erotica ”:
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"If you can remove the Sex from the Erotica and still have a viable story in another genre - you did it WRONG!"

For Fetish Fiction this means:
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"If you can remove the FETISH from the Fetish Fiction and still have a viable story in another genre - you did it WRONG!"

In ANY genre of fiction, that genre’s main element MUST drive the plot to BE that genre.

~ In Romance - The Relationship drives the plot.
~ In Mystery - Unanswered Questions drive the plot.
~ In Science Fiction - Scientific Ideas and/or Technology drives the plot.
~ In Fantasy - Magic drives the plot.
~ In Historical Fiction - Historical Figures or Events drive the plot.
~ In Paranormals - Paranormal Creatures or situations drive the plot.
~ In Erotica - Sex drives the plot.
~ In Fetish Fiction -- The FETISH drives the plot.

So, how do you make your Fetish drive the plot?

HOLD IT right there!
-- Before we go any further, make sure you know WHAT you're writing! Are you writing Fetish fiction or Kink fiction?

Fetish ISN'T Kink.

A Kink is something that makes sex exciting, also known as Slap & Tickle. No matter how many whips and chains are used, no matter how much blood is spilled carving your name into someone's back Kink is a form of sexual Play, pure and simple.

A Fetish ISN'T Play. It's a very personal, very individual, and a very private APPETITE. Fetishes are something one NEEDS like food, water, or air to breathe -- to get off, and that ' getting off ' ISN'T always Sexual. When a Fetishist has access to what gratifies their needs, they can reach fulfillment without orgasm because their need is more than merely sexual. According to many Fetishists that I know personally, fulfillment grants a euphoria they swear is better than orgasm.

A sexual sadist with a Fetish for screams that plays Slap & Tickle with a lover isn't doing it because they want to f~ck their lover. They're playing Slap & Tickle to feed their true hunger . Once they get the screams they're after, they may not even want to f~ck at all because they HAD their gratification already - the screams.

A sexual sadist with a Kink for screams DOES want to f~ck the screamer, preferably WHILE they're screaming.

Someone with a Fetish for women's feet, or boots, or uniforms, or bondage gear doesn't need to have sex with those in such garb. Observing the wearer, touching the objects, smelling the material, hearing the sounds associated with them, and sometimes even tasting them is more than enough to completely satisfy a Fetishist. <-- THIS is why detail is so vitally important in Fetish Fiction.

On the other hand, someone with a Kink for women's feet, or boots, or uniforms, or leather bondage gear DOES want to f~ck those in such garb.

In short:
~ A Kink is when you use a feather to cum.
~ A Fetish is when Touching the feather will make you cum.

Whether you are writing Fetish, or Kink, make sure you Label your story properly! This way, the readers seeking your particular kind of story can find you and appreciate what you've written!

Okay, back to the lecture...
-- So, how do you make your Fetish (or Kink) drive the plot?

Making the Fetish MATTER!
Show something. Prove something. Make something Happen.

Show something:
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What can a Fetish show? It should at the very least reveal something about the base personality of the character that is focused on it: tender, sweet, attention to detail, aggressive, controlling, power-hungry, humorous, serious…

Prove something:
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Fetish scenes can prove domination, or submission, but rarely does a scene like that involve a true Fetish. Fetishes are about HUNGERS and such needs make excellent metaphors! What does your character's Need say about life, or love, or hate, or anger, or devotion?

Make something Happen:
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This one is the easiest of all. How can you're character's drive to fulfill their Fetish get them into deep trouble -- or out of it?

WRITING Fetishes
DETAIL ~ DETAIL ~ DETAIL

The rest of your story can be a bare bones sketch if you like, but the Fetish MUST be executed in exquisite loving detail . Your story is there to feed a NEED, so ALL the senses must come into play: Sight, Scent, Sound, Sensation, and Flavor.

Your story can be so simple that the characters don't even have names. However, where the Fetish comes into play, every thought, feeling, and sensation that focuses on that fetish MUST be written in loving detail.

What it looks like, what it sounds like, what it smells like, what it feels like, what it tastes like... What does it do? How does it affect your characters? How does it make them feel physically, emotionally, and possibly spiritually? Do they like the fetish? Hate it? Wish it would go away? Try to fight it? Revel in it? Try to convert others into liking it too?

All-righty then, here's the hardest part of writing Fetish Fiction:

How do you plan to END your Fetish story?

Where will this Fetish take your main character? What will become of them because of this Fetish? Will it make their lives better -- or worse? Will they find a safe outlet to satisfy their Fetish, or make a terrible error in judgment that destroys them? Do you want a happy ending, or a tragic one?

REALITY CHECK! ~ There is NO CURE for a Fetish.
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A Fetish isn't something that goes away. A Fetish is NOT an addiction -- though a Kink can be! Fetishes are rooted deep in the psyche and while a shrink might be able to find the cause, there is No Cure. The only treatment is to find a safe outlet that feeds the need. The only other options are becoming a Victim or a Predator.

Make sure you understand this BEFORE you write your ending. Those of us that have fetishes really appreciate it when someone actually tells the Truth.

In Conclusion:
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Whether you're writing serious Fetish Fiction or merely Kink Fiction, the key to writing either one is Detail and Focus. However, what makes it satisfying is how you conclude your tale.

Enjoy!

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DISCLAIMER: As with all advice, take what you can use and throw out the rest. As a multi-published author, I have been taught some fairly rigid rules on what is publishable and what is not. If my rather straight-laced (and occasionally snotty,) advice does not suit your creative style, by all means, IGNORE IT.