nicola's Blog Entries

21 Oct 2013 17:29

29 Sep 2013 19:43

Frequently Asked Questions at Etch-A-Sketch Technical Support

Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
A: Pick it up, turn it upside down, and shake it.

Q: What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up, turn it upside down, and shake it.

Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up, turn it upside down, and shake it.

Q: How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch document?
A: Don't shake it.

26 Jul 2013 17:15

I went to the local sports centre to sign up for Yoga classes. The woman behind the counter said, "How flexible are you?" I replied, "I can't do Tuesdays".

11 Jul 2012 18:12

I went to my allotment last week and found someone had covered it with 2
inches of soil. I went again yesterday only to find it covered again with
another 2 inches of soil. The plot thickens...

16 Jun 2012 22:47

21 May 2012 14:32

Rarely do you get a humourous Financial Journalist: "It may be the 'best in breed' in its industry, but winning a dog show does not change the fact that a dog is a dog."

27 Mar 2012 18:56

"Fool," said my muse to me, "look in thy heart and write."

29 Feb 2012 16:10

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass It's about learning to dance in the rain.

22 Feb 2012 13:21

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?

21 Dec 2011 13:10

The three wise men arrived to visit the child lying in the manger. One of the wise men was exceptionally tall and smacked his head on the low doorway as he entered the stable.

"Jesus Christ!" he exclaimed.

Write that down, Mary," said Joseph "It's better than Derek."

03 Nov 2011 01:58

I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor standing at the foot of my bed.

At first I was afraid.....then I was petrified.