08 Sep 2010 16:19
...Oh yes, I remember - to-MAH-to sauce, said as if it were some rare delicacy when it was some horrid concoction of sugar and vinegar and, I don't know, pigs' snouts and Albino eyeballs, frapped in a blender, served in a ridiculous, to-MAH-to shaped plastic condiment container. Thankfully, since I left England, I've never had to eat - or see - any to-MAH-to sauce again. Good currie though.
07 Sep 2010 13:56
Ah, I knew I could count on you. Your mind is firmly in the gutter....just a few levels above mine. Someone at work received a present from England - a can of Mushy Peas. Has some poncey Limey prat decided to cash in by exporting the WORST of British cooking, already the worst 'cuisine' in the world? And what the Hell is 'Red Sauce'......haven't you heard of Ketchup? What's it made of, blood?
06 Sep 2010 05:03
...'Canadian Syrup'!!!!! - MAPLE syrup, fer Chrissakes. Only Brits could call French Fries 'chips' and chips 'crisps'. ..Aluminium instead of aluminum....and just what the Hell is an 'articulated lorrie'? Have you ever SPOken with one. Pray, tell me....what did it say?
05 Sep 2010 20:40
Monday, Monday. Can't trust that day. Limey bastards gotta work, but I've got a hol-i-dayyy...
05 Sep 2010 02:03
...."Then something went wrong, for Fay Wray and King Kong, they got caught in a celluloid jam. Then at a deadly pace it came from Outer Space and this is how the message ran:" .....You fascinate me, Loislane.
03 Sep 2010 17:44
..."Stiff as......" - Aw, forget it. My heart won't take anymore.
02 Sep 2010 18:03
Is it being 'Martinized'? Cause, you know, that only takes an hour. I could, uh, wait.
01 Sep 2010 17:07
...fake mustache and sucking on a cigar whilst wearing a BUNNY suit and I would follow you everywhere, like a panting. big-pawed puppy. Coincidentally, my Birthday is Sept. 2. I'm taking the day off.........
01 Sep 2010 02:56
...'Tubes' and 'nests'? 'Lubes' and 'pests'?...actually, I've got a thing for Groucho Marx. Karl Marx too if the truth be told. BUt, yeah, 'Hoobs' and 'Creasts', they're up there too. (yours anyway).
31 Aug 2010 17:21
...I hate to tell you this, but right now? The, uh, eyebrow waggling is turning me on. And I've just been to my Doctor's. Blood pressure is fine. He even gave me a double dose. I'm proTECted, 'Girly Bits'.
31 Aug 2010 00:41
So, taffy s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-s, right? - and gets thin and kind of see-through? Especially if it was caught in, say, a marshamallow mixer? Um, how long till it, uh...breaks?
29 Aug 2010 15:56
(Rifling through hardware drawer, taking plyers into the bathroom): "Dom'p mooff. I'rrll be bachkk im a mimute!"
29 Aug 2010 13:44
I won one, I won one!!! Next it will be 15 - Love..........I'm going to brush ALL my teeth when THAT happens!
29 Aug 2010 12:34
...pretty presumptuous of you to point out that precise particularity.
29 Aug 2010 10:35
You be Cleopatra. I'll be Marc Anthony. 'Course you'll die tragically, bitten by a snake....making an asp of yourself again.