Topic My Little One is Suffering
27 Nov 2013 00:19
My baby girl is back home and recovering. Thank you all for all your prayers and well wishes this community has been wonderful to both of us through our entire relationship. Lots of recovery to go, but together my baby girl and her Daddy will get through this.
Topic My Little One is Suffering
23 Nov 2013 19:26
Thank you both for your kind words. I just got word that the problems were caused by a medication that was prescribed that should not have been and it had an adverse reaction causing a heart related issue.
They have said that my precious baby girl skye will be able to go home tomorrow.
Thanks for the prayers and for everything.
Topic My Little One is Suffering
23 Nov 2013 13:29
I know this is personal but I had to just talk to some people about it.
Many of you know that for almost a year now skye, has been my prime and is my precious little one. Well two days ago my pet was admitted into ICU. There is very little I can do, and I feel helpless. This is the one area where even as my baby girl's Sir, Master and Daddy, all my power, control and strength pale in the face of mother nature and people of science that know more than me.
I have no other reason for posting this other than I needed a place to just get out how I was feeling.
Topic Fifty Shades of Grey
10 Sep 2013 17:30
This is the topic that doesn't end.
And it goes on and on dear friends.
One person started writing it because of what it was.
And people kept responding forever just because.
This is the topic that doesn't end......
Topic How to pick a Master?
24 Aug 2013 19:18
The post little_kitty is referencing was posted by littlebirdie92.
After typing that I had to pause for a second.
I agree with Ravyn it is not like picking out a ripe watermelon or any other fruit or vegetable. It is about asking questions of people and learning about yourself. I would say that the fact that you know you have limits is a good start. If I had a nickel for everyone that said "I am willing to do anything" let's just say I would not have any financial problems ever.
But feel free to bend the ears of people on here that you are friends with. Don't be afraid to reach out and ask questions of people. There are people here who are labeled as Masters and some of them are very willing to just answer questions and help people.
People like Ravyn or Skye who are very comfortable with who they are and know a good bit about the differences and the path in the lifestyle can be great people to ask about feelings and in some cases what to avoid.
I will always answer questions from anyone wanting to learn. I feel that is something that is completely necessary in figuring out who you are.
Topic Giving Commands and Dialogue............
24 Aug 2013 15:45
Holy cow what a series of questions if I may I would like to take them one at a time.
Some of the language used is kind in these stories can only be described as very degrading, is that the intent?
Keeping opinion as far out of it as possible. I think that in many cases the extremism of the language in many of the written stories is to help paint a clearer picture in the mind of someone reading as the weight of the situation that is actually occurring. When you can not hear vocal inflection or see the body language of the people this can be needed. In writing those two things are very hard to bring across which pushes the writer to use a different form of language to bring it across. So I would say the intent is to bring across that the person is supposed to get a feeling of being put in a subservient place even at the expense of what society deems as their dignity.
There's clearly consent (rather a lot of consent!) so what's with the derogatory language?
This answer is the one I think most people have a hard time understanding. Not saying you are one of those people, just prefacing it with I expect people to double take here. There are people, where the simple act of degrading them actually heightens and increases the gratification and can help take that person in that situation closer to reaching subspace.
The fact is that much like there are people who love intense pain, such as knife, needle, enema and even high end medical play that to others simply looks outrageously extreme. This is also the case with people that have a need to be humiliated and in some cases extremely degraded as part of what helps them reach that plateau.
In fan writing and fiction however, this gets taken to even higher extremes which I think leads to your question. In those cases I chalk it up to creative license.
The reason I ask is I'm thinking of writing up my experiences as the basis for some future stories, I guess I'd like to know what is the realistic norm?
Another tricky one. The "realistic norm". Having been in this lifestyle for 16 years, I can truly say that I have yet to put my finger on what I would call the "norm" and I definitely have had my eyes opened as to what is realistic. This is something that is individual to each person and I am not sure if there is a "realistic norm". I would say that there is probably stuff that a "majority" of people like. But even within that group I don't know if you would ever get complete agreement.
That is what makes this lifestyle so incredible. It is as individual as the people within it and the couples that are involved. I know that sounds like an almost cop out answer but I think that is just what makes it special.
Finally as to your reason for asking. Because you are thinking of writing out your experiences. I say go for it. Whether they were unusual or not who cares. If you enjoyed them, if they were something that made an impact on you and you want to bring that out for people to read. I think that is incredible and I will read them for sure.
I hope I didn't muddle the intellectual thicket to much.
Topic Is it ok?
24 Aug 2013 15:01
First of all ShyLittleWolf, let me just echo that everything Sprite said is right on the money.
First of all if you feel something, whether by need, want or desire. That is completely okay. There is no reason in the world for someone to shy away from what it is they feel they need to be happy or reach a place of contentment
Secondly, I would say that you should never be afraid to ask questions. There are people on here that are incredibly knowledgeable and caring and will give you the right answers based on nothing more than what they have seen, lived and experienced with no premeditation or ulterior motives.
Sprite is on of them, Skye Blue is one of the of them and so is Ravyn. This is not an exhaustive list, just three that I highly respect and with reading their comments, writings and in the case of Skye her being mine; I have come to truly respect and know that they see this as a place to help, reach out and guide.
I welcome you to the site, I hope that you find what you are looking for and the answers to the questions that you have. I will always answer any question you may have as well.
Topic Wondering If I Am The Only One....... House in Order
05 Aug 2013 06:35
You know the truth of the matter is, you never know when you are going to get a piece of knowledge that truly works to start changing the way you think.
Not long ago I was having a conversation with someone who I consider a good friend. They were speaking about how they had just taken their kids to their grandparents house and had a great time but on the way home one of the children asked their mother "How come it always seems like Grandma and Grandpa never fight".
Needless to say this led to a discussion later that night between the parents.
That really hit me and then I started thinking about some of the things I have run into on in the BDSM community, this site over the year I have been involved and other sites.
As most of you know I am not the most prolific poster. Nor am I the kind of person who is going to just start a topic out of the blue. But after a year here I have seen a consistency and I just had to vent.
I worked long and hard for my title of Master as many of us that have been in lifestyle for a at least 5 or more years have. And I was always taught on my way up that there was a standard that you lived up to when you carried that title. One of the things that was most important was to always have "your house in order".
Before you can exercise a full power exchange relationship with another person. Before you can take on the responsibility of having someone TRUST you with their mind, body and soul. You have to be able to trust yourself with your own.
It means that if you are in a relationship, you need to make sure that first one is solid and that you have established ways to talk before you go back to training or trying to expand your presence as a Master or Mistress.
Even the best of us make mistakes, take risks and sometimes have relationships that don't go the way we want. But I think the true measure of how effective one is as a Master or Mistress is how those people relate with you after they are no longer a part of your lifestyle life or family. And how your lifestyle family treats them.
None of us are perfect, but as Master's and Mistress's we have a responsibility to those that we proudly call our subs or slaves to work hard at trying to achieve that perfection.
Am I there. No.
But I just don't know if everyone still believe's this way that carries the title of Master or Mistress.
So that leads to this vent and the obvious can of worms it is going to open. But I would like to know who else might agree that the community seems to maybe have lessened what we are looking for out of someone we call Master or Mistress.
Topic Fifty Shades of Grey
23 Jun 2013 20:49
But this site is good at that or they wouldn't have an emoticon for it.
Topic RACK vs SSC
25 Apr 2013 05:49
Now see being in the lifestyle for 16+ years (just had my birthday April 16th so it had to change) this is by far one of the more interesting topics I have seen here in a while and brought me out of my self imposed non commenting hiatus on this board.
First thank you for defining RACK and SSC for those that might not have known what it meant. I think anytime we talk it is important that we make sure that anyone that reads the posts have a complete understanding of the terms being used as that is key in any level of communication.
As for me personally, I think all my slaves and subs, those that are mine, those I have trained for others and those I have rehabilitated know that it is always Safe (as defined by the guidelines of the relationship), Secure (with all safety precautions taken, including quick release in bondage situations) and in ALL CASES Consensual (hope I spelled that right).
That said there is always a Risk (if it were completely safe there would be no reason to take precautions), they are always Aware (they know what they are getting into from the beginning), Consensual (see above point as it can't be made enough. It must ALWAYS be Consensual) and I could have now misspelled that three times. And it would be hard not to admit that it is Kink (just by definition alone).
I would say that it is less one or the other and more a combination of practice from the SSC side and awareness from the RACK side and so both parties may be in the same relationship and see it from one side or the other.
Topic Good guy or Bad guy
25 Apr 2013 05:32
Oh definitely the abusive guy. Who needs manners and chivalry when you can go out with a douchey & disrespectful wad of fuck?? I mean no self-respecting woman would ever put up with a guy that showed her the utmost respect. That's why it's called SELF-respect...we have enough for ourselves so other guys don't need to bother respecting us.
And as far as my best experience on a date? Well we went to McDonald's, and he got me the best meal the Dollar Menu could offer...and then he forgot his wallet, so I had to pay. After we got in MY car, he looked over at me and said, "You're cute. Let's fuck." And I was like, "Cool. Your place or mine?" He said my place because he lived with his mom, who locks him out if he stays out past his 10:00 pm curfew...so he ended up sleeping over because he knew she wouldn't let him in. And then we both got to my place, and stripped naked. He saw my boobies, so he came a little in his undies. But I have to give it to him, he was trying really hard not to, I saw it in his face. So then we finally got down to it...best 15.3 seconds of my life...well his life. One and a half pumps and he was done. He rolled over on his side, farted, and sucked his thumb...and about 5 seconds later I heard snoring. It was the cutest thing ever. The following morning (since he had to sleep over because mom locked him out) I woke him up with a BJ. And he said the sweetest words I've ever heard: "I'd return the favor baby, but I just don't do that." Of course it was just fine with me. I cooked him breakfast. It was intended for the both of us, but his appetite was ravenous after our rigorous lovemaking the previous night, so he didn't bother to leave any for me, which was so thoughtful because I was trying to lose weight. After that he asked me for my wi-fi password because he ran out of data on his cell phone. And he played on his phone for a while, totally ignoring me...and then I gave him a ride home. I thought everything was magical, but he never called back. But I call him every single day and send him text messages, but for some reason he hasn't received any of them. I assume this because he never responds. But I just know he's the one for me, so I'll let fate handle the rest. BEST. DATE. EVER!
Can I just say as posts go this was the funniest damn thing I have read in forever. I laughed so hard I fell out of my chair literally and hit the floor. Sorry, I know Sprite quoted this earlier, but it just needed to be done again. Incredible post.
Topic Hits and Misses of the Oscars for you?
25 Feb 2013 08:21
Biggest hits in my book. Jennifer Lawrence for Best Actress in a leading role. Great character, great movie and fantastic to see her rewarded for that role. Also Anne Hathaway for Supporting Actress for her role in Les Mis.
I loved the speech by Ang Lee director of Life of Pi. That was an awesome moment as well.
As for flops. Christoph Waltz.... REALLY? That should have been Tommy Lee Jones all the way. The speech by Quentin Tarantino was just the most self aggrandizing I have heard in a while.
But the thing that pained me the most was the beginning. The whole bit with William Shatner and Seth MacFarlane call me crazy and old fashioned if you must but to say that a show sucked before it even really got started... that seemed to me to put a damper on the whole evening.
Topic 50 Shades of?
14 Feb 2013 23:04
50 Shades of Whey - The Further Stories of Little Miss Muffet
50 Shades of Ben Gay - The Story of Shaquile O'Neal's Career
50 Shades of Stay - The True Story of Rin Tin Tin
Topic Safe words online?
13 Feb 2013 12:58
I was really debating how to go about responding to this. Let me start by saying that I will not respond to certain things you have said. Such as commenting on my handle or taking shots at me. The reason is that frankly that adds nothing to this discussion but to distract from what I think the question was and the answers have been.
Like if a sub is too emotionally fragile for bdsm sexual releases then they shouldn't be participating to begin with. Especially if words are enough to scar them mentally. I mean if words are too much, how are they gonna do with physical pain which scars both mentally and physically? In real life the physical pain is accompanied by words as well. It's like an alcoholic staying away from bars. A war vet with PTSD not watching overly gory and realistic war movies. etc.
I find it irresponsible for a master to try and introduce such a fragile mind to this sort of activity. And yes I know it's the sub trying to please the master but what exactly is the pleasure a master gets from putting a fragile girl through this? Reminds me of a bully and a victim.
You bring up physical scars and PTSD. But the mind for anyone whether a submissive or a Dominate can be manipulated with the right touch (both physically and metaphorically speaking) to bring about a negative or positive change in a persons behavior.
You talk as if the solution to online bullying or people that are of a weak mindset getting taken advantage of is to remove them from the world, limit their choices or protect them from themselves.
I would say that is as harmful as the bullying itself and really the same thing in a different form.
Safe words are just what they say. "Safe". There is nothing weak about having a safe word in place and ANY real dom or Master understands that having one in place is not to make it so they don't have to communicate, but to make the communication that much better.
See I know that my girls will let me push their boundaries as far as they can take it. Because they know that if at any point they feel that something is happening they are not able to handle, they can stop it immediately, enter a mode of conversation that takes place on a very even base that allows us both to understand where, why, how and what to do in the future to make sure this doesn't happen again OR to make it so they can proceed more comfortably.
This is needed online and in person. Especially if you are on cam with someone.
My answer stands as it did in my first post that a safe word is a safety net. Protection and a way to enhance the consenting communication between the two parties in the relationship so that they can both get 100% out of it and feel that both parties are respected.
Lastly, my thanks to Ravyn was not because I felt that I needed someone to defend me. Trust me, I have no problem defending myself, opinions, beliefs and status. It was because I read her response and saw someone who understood what I was saying and gave a very good explanation of it.
Topic Safe words online?
09 Feb 2013 23:24
Safe words online are a must if you are doing serious play. Because the mind is a very fragile thing and you can damage it psychologically with play that you can't stop. As for closing the window of course you can. But then you have to avoid Online Messages and all the other possible ways you have let that person get in touch with you. Just set up a safe word. It is "SAFER"
Topic Top, bottom or switch?
07 Feb 2013 18:57
Top and I think the name says it all.
By the way I think that imitation is the greatest form of flattery. I like your tag line findingnichole.
Topic Getting Back To Before...
05 Feb 2013 08:00
Wow, this is a huge question. Not just rambling I think, but the flowing thoughts of someone who has truly been hurt deeply. As I read through that, I get a stream of consciousness mentality that almost cries for help. I won't have any guaranteed answers. But I can give my opinion based on the 15+ years I have and maybe somewhere in there is something that will help.
First, when you put time and effort into something that shows a level of caring and passion. I would say that means it was something that in the very heart of you, you cared about. Not just with the person you were with but as a whole. In BDSM just like in a 'Nilla relationship, things happen. In my case it was twice this year. I lost a former slave named Lindsey, when she passed away. She was truly the first slave I ever really truly loved, then I recently lost a slave named Princess who I started mentoring, but now she is talking with others and she may end up being mentored by someone else.
Why? Because that is what she needs. And while I would love for her to stay. She needs to grow. That might very well mean casting off the very person who introduced her in the first place.
Would that feel good? No. BUT.... If it is what is for the best then by all means it is what needs to happen. I say all that too let you know I can sympathize and if you will let me even at some level empathize with you.
But my concern is not in the way you will deal with the loss. Why? Because loss while tough, is something that we overcome a lot in life. What I am concerned with is that it is driving you back to where you "were before it all".
That to me, and once again this is an opinion.
Seems like it is throwing the baby out with the bath water so to speak. I mean if you still love anything about this lifestyle there is going to be someone else in it for you. If you have doubts, I can speak again from experience. I never thought I would ever care about a sub/slave again when Princess left. I was hurt to the core. And then a chance email from someone who read my posts. Sent a friend who had experienced a loss to me. And a Master deserted another incredible sub/slave and once again we began to talk. Now I have two incredible girls that I care deeply for, that both love me and I them.
Two that I think most people might have never thought would end up with *takes two thumbs and points at himself* this guy.
I do not know the extent of the loss and so I was a little hesitant to post, but then I figured, if you were truly trying to get some sort of focus back that maybe just a few opinions offered here and there and you might find the words that speak to you and allow you to move forward.
As always if you want to talk on a more personal level feel free to send me a PM.
I hope this helped a little.
Topic Last Post Wins!
29 Jan 2013 07:59
See I don't have to post often just effectively. The win is mine.
Topic Last Post Wins!
25 Jan 2013 23:10
If you are a sub and posting after me, realize that you are directly spitting in the face of a Master and I hope your Dom/Dommes treat you accordingly.
That said I win.
Topic Last Post Wins!
23 Jan 2013 22:23
I refuse to laugh. So there I win.
Topic A Sad Day A Hard Goodbye
22 Jan 2013 07:52
SydneySider first let me say that a person's personal opinion never upsets me. Why, because opinions are like assholes everyone has one and there is too much stress in life as there is. Your concerns are absolutely right in all ways no one should have to chose between what it is that makes them happy and the people they love the most in life.
I would never make any slave that I have or pet or friend or lover ever choose. In fact I lost my first wife over it. She eventually after choosing me decided she was going to divorce me to spend "More time with her family".
In this case it was Princess's family that was making her choose, and in horrible form using religion to force it.
It was with great heartache and pain that I stepped back and told her that she "made the right choice, you can find another Master, you only get one family." The day before her mother picked her up.
Cactus you were right and thank you greatly for your complement. I try my hardest in these forums to show that this lifestyle is something of great pleasure, fun and a part of life. It is something that should be learned about and embraced.
SydneySider I appreciate your comment. Most people that believe what you do, just judged me and moved on never pausing to see what the answer might be. Is it painful to relive yes. But it is sometimes a necessity in times like these because hopefully now you see me in a different light and therefor the way many Master/slave relationships are in a different light. I thank you for allowing me to explain.
I thank the community for all their support. You have all been great.
Topic Last Post Wins!
22 Jan 2013 07:38
Thanks for keeping the place warm for me. I win.
Topic Last Post Wins!
20 Jan 2013 08:43
Nope I am back. And I am calling on all my family members to help me win.
Topic Last Post Wins!
19 Jan 2013 22:52
Just showing you how it is done. Now it is won.
Topic Guys perspective?
19 Jan 2013 11:35
For all the guys saying organic, I can tell you now there are women that are getting augmentation done and you can not tell. Just because it is natural doesn't mean she was "born" with it.
Topic Finger nails?
19 Jan 2013 11:33
The most beautifully crafted structure in the word is the woman's body. I like attention to be drawn to that. I think nails are one of the ways to do that. I explain that so you will understand.
1 inch minimum, 2" is ideal.
Red as red can be.
Fake as can be
Slutty as can be