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cordite74
Over 90 days ago
Male, 154

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Quote by Porgy87
Am I cheating?

We are not who you need to ask. You need to ask your partner. If you have to ask/justify/skirt the lines then it probably is. However, each couple has its own idea of where the lines are drawn. Where I see the line doesn't really matter unless you're in a relationship with me.
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I'm not sure I can pick just one. Some favorites:

Aidra Fox
Anissa Kate
Chanel Preston
Franceska Jaimes
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Don't know the exact time but several hours. Full on would only take a matter or seconds so it's a lot of edging.
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Not mine but I have in a former girlfriend's office overlooking a major street.
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Nope. Never did with a married woman but I have with women in committed relationships when I was younger. Close enough for me to say "been there, done that" and I'm not looking to do that again. If she wants to play she needs to be free of strings or in a relationship that allows that. I don't mess with other people's relationships.
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We can provide input but you really need to be able to effectively communicate with her. We're only getting your take on the matter and we have no idea what you're getting right, what you're getting wrong and what you might be missing. Being able to effectively communicate likes and dislikes is a basic skill every couple needs in (and out of) bed. There are any number of reasons why she responded the way she did and it is not an effective approach to seek out every possibility when she has the answers.

Talk to her. Find out her concerns. Find out if she doesn't like penetration at all or if she didn't like how it went. It's very common for guys to take it way too fast and to not use enough lube. Like anything else with sex you have to discover what she specifically likes and dislikes
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I don't think so. Not all fantasies have to become reality. I've never had problems with a partner's fantasies and vice versa.

Quote by Leighton
I've not told my wife about all the things that turn me on, because I know (100%) that she wouldn't be into it and I think it would make her realise that what we do sexually, is not enough for me.

Unless you have actually talked to her you don't know 100%. You may be surprised but you won't find out by not communicating. I haven't always been into the fantasies of my partners and they haven't always been into mine but we have alway gotten off on getting each other off.

Quote by Leighton
Although I guess I'm leading a double life by having sexual experiences outside of my marriage, I genuinely think it's the only way for me to have that 'release' and keep my wife.

Only if you have her consent but how are you getting it by not discussing that with her? Without consent is a great way to lose it all.
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I did it with a previous partner many times and enjoyed it. Have not tried with my current partner but I think she would be really good at it. You really just have to try (finding the right person, toy(s), position(s), etc) and see for yourself.
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Quote by BraveBitch
threesome : which one you prefer FFM/FMM/FFF/MMM ?

Haven't tried them all so I can't say for certain. FFM was awesome but I think FMM and MMM could be fun. Can't take part in FFF but that could be fun to watch.

Quote by Leighton
Admittedly the only FFM threesomes I've experienced, were when I was younger and they weren't entirely successful because there always seemed to be one spectator.

All depends on how you do it. We never had a spectator.
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Quote by butterfly_love
Do you think it's possible to love or be in love with two people at the same time?

It's certainly possible. However, being in love with multiple people and actually being able to manage multiple relationships are two entirely different things.
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Definitely have hair down in that area but not on the shaft. What is there is trimmed. Balls are usually kept smooth.
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Guys are not all exactly identical. As I stated in one of the other threads, I prefer shaved but anything other than a wild jungle is good. There are certainly those that prefer completely natural. All that matters is what you and your partner(s) prefer.

Quote by hotbeth
"what's the matter with natural?"

Never confuse popular with right. Shaved may be popular but that doesn't mean it's what you should do. Nothing's the matter with any option whether it's truly natural and wild, trimmed, shaved, or something else. Don't worry about what others like or dislike. Worry about what works for you and your partner(s).

Quote by hotbeth
I trim my bush to a neat clean shapely island on my mound but you want completely shaved which looks more like raw chicken.

My preference has nothing to do with raw chicken. It's a cleaner look and there's no hair. I love eating out my partners. I hate hair stuck in my teeth, throat, etc. However, my preference isn't relevant to you.
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Love both. Nothing odd about liking none, one, or both. Different people like different things.
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I prefer shaved but anything aside from a wild jungle is good.
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Yes but like anythng else with sex it depends on the skill of the other and how well we read each other. I like having mine licked, sucked and gently bitten. Enjoyed tugging when I was pierced but I'm not anymore. It's even better while I'm cumming
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Quote by Metilda
How do you handle the mess?


Towels. Tissues are a waste. I'm not worried about whatever trace amount of whatever is left in laundry after the wash.
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Quote by WellMadeMale
So where exactly does this cheating part actually cum into play?
There's no penetration, no kissing, no embracing, no emotions being shared...no whispered declarations of undying love being traded.

Cheating isn't about doing X. It's about breaking trust. Whether X qualifies as cheating or not is all about what the those in the relationship have agreed upon. In many cases, one assumes what the agreement is and violates the trust. The line certainly varies from relationship to relationship and person to person. In my current relationship a lap dance would be cheating. In a former one it would not have been and, in fact, we went to a strip club together. In my current relationship penetration, kissing, etc would be cheating. In a former one they were not.

You can't just assume that X is cheating for everyone and every relationship and that Y is not. There may be common ground among many but that's irrelevant. The trust established with those in the relationship is what's directly relevant.
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Quote by dpw

My problem with your post is that you seem to think that everyone, including a young kid, is as intelligent as you so obviously are! Well I know that there a lot that aren't and I also know that there are a lot of guys that will take advantage of that.

My intelligence is neither here nor there. People of varying levels of intelligence are certainly capable of distinguishing fantasy from reality and making sound judgement calls. I've certainly made poor judgement calls in my past and even now but the problem is always me and not what I have watched on a screen.

Again, people are ultimately responsible for their own actions, regardless of age, gender or sexual orientation. Porn doesn't make anyone do anything just as any other media does not make anyone do anything. Violence, drug use, etc in media does not turn viewer into serial killers and drug addicts, etc. If one can only mimic what one sees on a screen then what's on the screen isn't the problem.

Porn is intended for adult audiences. I'm well aware that adults aren't the only ones to view porn but, again, porn isn't the problem in such situations either.

Changing porn doesn't fix the problems that you describe. It only addresses symptoms. The problems you're describing need to be addressed directly.

I'm really just repeating myself at this point so I don't see the value in the discussion here and, as I said, we're just going to disagree on this.

Quote by dpw
if you'd seen a few of your friends die of AIDS you might think differently.

Doubtful but one never knows until one is actually there. Emotions are powerful.
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Quote by Hardallnight
Does any one know why she would hate them?

I don't know her so no. There are any number of possible causes and it's certainly possible that there could be a combination of causes. Talk to her. Communication is a basic and necessary thing in any relationship. Don't rely on asking others, speculation or assumption. The cause(s) may have nothing to do with sex.

Quote by Hardallnight
Do you really think I'm that stupid and haven't asked her?

We only know what you say in your posts. Asking and effectively communicating aren't necessarily the same thing. If you haven't been able to get her to open up then you haven't established effective communication. You may need to do other things to get her to a point where she's comfortable discussing the matter. Again, I don't know her and I can't tell you how to do this.

Quote by Hardallnight
She says and I quote "I don't know why"

The two of you will have to find out. It's possible that she's embarrassed about why. It's possible that she's not willing to acknowledge why. It's possible that your approach in asking her is making her reply that way. Again, countless possibilities on the why. You can read all of them but to find out why she dislikes giving blowjobs you'll have to be patient, loving and supportive to get to the bottom of this as a couple. You may need an outside and objective perspective on the matter (i.e. therapy).

Quote by Hardallnight
Is meant to say "germs" not "hers" sorry

There we go. Finally, one possible cause. Find a way to make her comfortable about this, if possible. There's a chance that another issue is causing the concern over germs. Sex is inherently messy and dirty even when we're careful with our hygiene. Given the way we're made it's impossible to eliminate all germs but you might be able to make her more comfortable by always showering beforehand, using condoms, gloves, dams, etc. Again, you really need to communicate with her to determine what she needs. We can suggest all sorts of solutions but the ones that work specifically to address her concerns are the only ones that will help.

Quote by Hardallnight
when it comes to sex and talking about it with my wife she goes all quite and embarrassed even tho it's our sex life I'm talking about.

That's something that the two of you will have to work on. You have to be able to freely, honestly and effectively communicate with each other whether the topic is sex or anything else. The only way to answer your question is for her to give you the answer.
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Quote by phoenix072
or you think best way is to go get one girl??

What's best is going to vary from person to person. It's really up to you to determine which is best. Have fun finding out!
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Quote by candyflossbaby
Didn't see this topic on the search so thought I'd ask you guys myself, do you find tattoo'd women sexy? If so, what kind of tattoos and where on the body do you find them most appealing.

Depends on the woman and her tattoos. There are tattooed women that turn me on, tattooed women that turn me off and those somewhere in between.

It's really not any specific tattoos, placement or number that do it for me but the overall aesthetics and even the story/meaning behind her tattoos. One tattoo can be sexy. Several can be sexy. Sleeves and other larger areas covered by tattoos can be sexy.
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Quote by PersonalAssistant
So, my question is this to you guys .... is going down on your lady a turn off? (I'm kinda shocked at that one) Or is it something you warm up to over experience?

Neither. It seems sad that you've come to assume that it's one of the two. I've always enjoyed it from the outset.
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The meanings of the words at play are fairly vauge but the OP is making it clear that "type" refers to "certain physical attributes that one finds attractive". Any person is much more than just appearance. I don't find it surprising that one would find another attractive despite one's own aesthetic tendencies. I certainly have my own and few of my significant others have fit but it really doesn't matter to me as everything else trumps what a person looks like.

I can't say for certain if I match my significant other's "type". We've been together for 7 years and I've never worried about it.
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We're just going to disagree on this one. As I said, fantasy and reality are two entirely different things. Porn is fantasy. Anyone that can't make the distinction is the problem -- not the porn. Anyone that can only mimic what they see is the problem. Anyone deciding to overlook the related health concerns is making the decision to do so. People, not things, are ultimately responsible for their own actions. Young people of any gender and sexual orientation have to learn to deal with a world full of all sorts of influences. Hiding the influences is not a solution. It's a band-aid for one of the symptoms.

I don't understand the eastern European and established actors comment. If you think bareback porn is a bad example then the country and the actors shouldn't matter.
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Quote by sweet80sarah
Can you really ever stop loving someone after the relationship is over?

One certainly can. People and relationships differ. Some will end up not loving the other. Some will continue to care for the other to varying degrees with the love changing from what it was in the relationship to something different.
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It's like conversation with any person of any gender. Start one up. Like any other discussion forum site, responses aren't guaranteed.