He sounds uncannily like Kevin Spacey. Bit depressing for my liking. I need cheering up gad dammit!

I want one :) Not for the practical uses, but I need a new table, and one that has water effects when you put something on it would be cool.

Go girl!

I guess you shouldn't laugh...no really.... .75 to 1 inch flaccid

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=2291364

A woman goes into Wal-Mart and tells the clerk she wants
a refund for the toaster she bought because it doesn't work.

The clerk tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it
on special. All of a sudden, the woman throws her arms
up in the air and starts screaming!

"GRAB MY BOOBS! GRAB MY BOOBS!"

The clerk, not knowing what to do, runs to get the store manager.
The manager comes up to the Woman and asks, "What's
wrong?"

She explains the situation with the toaster. He tells
her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.

Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming,

"GRAB MY BOOBS! GRAB MY BOOBS!"

In shock, the store manager pleads, "Ma'am,
why are you saying that?"

In a huff, the woman says, "BECAUSE, I LIKE TO
HAVE MY BREASTS GRABBED
WHEN I'M GETTING SCREWED!

Her money was refunded.

There was a drunk showing some friends his new apartment.

He was showing them his bedroom and there was a brass gong next
to his bed. One friend asks what the gong was for. The drunk
says it a talking clock.The friends were curious as to how
it worked.So the drunk picks up a mallet and hits the gong
with ear shattering sound.

Suddenly from the other side of the wall someone screamed

"IT'S 3 OCLOCK IN THE MORNING
YOU ASSHOLE"

Yes, there's something in it for sure. Kind of creeps me out a bit though...

That's just plain sad! Mind you, have read much worse.

If you're going to crash the stage at a Stones concert, make sure Keith doesn't see you coming: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAhEQETH4mw

http://www.shiveredsky.blogspot.com/2006/12/top-10-most-ridiculous-products-for.html

Here's a taster - damn freaky if you ask me

http://img404.imageshack.us/img404/6145/freakypz3.jpg

Setting everything out just the way I wanted took quite some time.   I started in the bedroom by first placing a kitchen chair next to the bed. I set out the handfuls of candles I had gathered in various positions around the room, creating soft gentle reflections. I stripped the bed of it’s used linen and replaced it with the new ‘so-soft’ sheets. To add more allure I sprayed ...

Added 23 Apr 2007 | Category Straight Sex | Votes 26 | Avg Score 4.75 | Views 6,588 | 3 Comments

A while back, a friend and I were chatting and he asked if Leah and I had ever been in a threesome with another man. I told him that we once had considered it with a good friend of ours named Tye, who Leah found very attractive and someone I trusted would not only be a good lover for her but also his participation would not threaten our relationship or harm the friendship. Although we had...

Added 14 Dec 2006 | Category Group Sex | Votes 26 | Avg Score 4.42 | Views 13,567

It was one of those lonely days that spilled over into the darkness where again nothing awaited me but empty silence, or the droning hum of the television. It had been a long time since we’d done anything really spectacular together. He was always working; I had my own career, but nothing that even mildly interfered with my loving him. I still had a good body, I was clean, and...

Added 12 Dec 2006 | Category BDSM | Votes 11 | Avg Score 4.82 | Views 21,715 | 4 Comments

I used to go out with this girl, she was beautiful, she was full figured, not fat, made life fun and it was the best sex of my life. Our sex life got even better after she made me take it from her. For some people sex is a little dull, not for me, I love missionary usually called vanilla sex I love the intimacy involved. Kissing touching grabbing ass and pounding her pussy. But I have...

Added 09 Dec 2006 | Category Reluctance | Votes 34 | Avg Score 3.97 | Views 67,339 | 13 Comments

"Crawl over here!" he was told. Madam had a wicked swing, so he knew better than to argue. He did his best to position himself the way she had pointed for him to do. She stood before him in all her glory with the cruelest instrument of torture. He hated and loved it when Madam chose to give him her attentions. "Now, worship my feet as you have been taught!" he crouched farther down and...

Added 09 Dec 2006 | Category BDSM | Votes 9 | Avg Score 4.44 | Views 11,783 | 1 Comment