Forum posts made by rembacher

Topic What are they?
Posted 08 Apr 2014 15:47

For married couples (like me), I prefer husband/wife or spouse if it needs to be gender-nonspecific. "Partner" has, IME, always meant unmarried (though not necessarily same sex) longterm relationship.

Mendalla


Must be a Canadian thing. That's also what I think of when the term "Partner" is mentioned. Someone who lives with you in a romantic relationship that isn't marriage.

Topic A warning for all males on Lush from a common phenomenon.
Posted 19 Mar 2014 05:15

Having been here long enough to remember what this place was like before we had our own profiles, I think I have a different take on this. We can say that the name is still Lush Stories, but in truth, there is now just as much emphasising (and greater bandwidth) on the social networking side of things too. If it was truly just about the stories, why would we give profiles to non authors?

And once we start down the social networking road, it's inevitable that emotional connections are going to be made. Its human nature to feel connections with the people you talk to regularly. Unfortunately here, and elsewhere on the internet, people are not always who they say they are. I've been fooled twice, by longstanding "friends" who turned out not to be real. I know others on this thread who have dealt with the same thing. It can be devastating when it happens. But I also know people here who regularly create new characters here to keep it exciting. I don't understand why, but it's a fact of life here. It's why my friends list is small now. I may "friend" you here for a little while, but I don't let you in unless you can show me something outside of lush.

So while it may not be something the administration wants pointed out, I don't think it hurts to remind people of both sexes that what you might consider a burgeoning romance or even just a deep friendship, could be someone else's way of having a little fun and seeing what they can get away with.

Topic #prayforvenezuela
Posted 16 Mar 2014 07:14

Not sure about the US, in Canada it gets mentioned once in a while, but most of the media's attention is still focused on Ukraine.

Topic The Ukraine Crisis
Posted 13 Mar 2014 18:22



On April 10, 1938, a vote was held in Austria on whether to join Germany. The "Anschluss" was approved by 99.73%.

I expect a similar result in Crimea, for the same reasons.

I think comparing Putin to Hitler just muddies the water too much for logical debate. To me, from what I've read, there is a large group of ethnic Russians in the Crimea region.

Being Canadian, I compare this to what might happen if Quebec separates from the rest of Canada. There would still be regions such as the Montreal area which prefer to be Canadian, rather than Quebecois. Now, if the whole process was done democratically, or at least similar to Ukraine's separation from the USSR, then I don't think that group would really do anything about. However, if independent Quebec suddenly lost it's government and devolved in to violent protests, then the Montreal area would probably go looking to the Canadian government to help them out, and maybe even take them back. I'm not sure the world would see that as Canada acting with malice, or aggression. So that makes me wonder if our perspective on this is shaped by us wanting to hate Putin. Or even wanting to have proof to back up our hatred of him.

Topic The Ukraine Crisis
Posted 08 Mar 2014 19:30


I think you have to look a bit deeper into the history of the Ukraine under Stalin and other Soviet leaders.

Enlighten me. What does that history have to do with the current votes?

Topic The Ukraine Crisis
Posted 06 Mar 2014 20:06

Crimea is holding a referendum on whether to join Russia. Will that outcome change how you view this situation? For me, if they want to be part of Russia, then that does lend some legitimacy to some of Putin's claims. The parliament in Crimea has already voted for joining Russia. It's clearly not as black and white as the western world would like to believe.

Topic The Ukraine Crisis
Posted 03 Mar 2014 20:27

It's definitely going to be interesting to see how this plays out. I've read some political experts who think that the EU needs Russian oil, and the Russian market more than Russia needs the EU. If that truly is the case, then it might leave the Western world with the choice of either letting Putin take Ukraine, or taking military action against him.

Topic The Official Olympics Thread: Sochi 2014
Posted 08 Feb 2014 08:29

http://www.cbc.ca/news/world/alleged-olympic-vote-swapping-deal-would-keep-canada-from-gold-1.2528489

This is troubling to see pop up again. Even just having the story out there affects how the event will be perceived. If the Canadians win we'll wonder: "Did they give preferential treatment to the Canadians to try and avoid any appearance of the story being true?" And if the Canadians lose, we'll also be wondering if there just might have been something to the story.

Topic The Official Olympics Thread: Sochi 2014
Posted 08 Feb 2014 08:25

ok, so... i used to think curling was some sort of joke, but... *thinks* 2 lympics ago, i watched curling, actually watched, and they explained it and it was fascinating! i mean, it's all this strategy and stuff, and i just sort of got really into it and now, it's one of my favorite winter sports.

If you haven't already, you need to watch the movie "Men With Brooms" Best curling movie ever! (Ok, probably the ONLY curling movie ever, too)

Topic Washington Redskins: Time to change the name?
Posted 03 Feb 2014 14:44

Facebook claims this wasn't allowed to air as a super bowl ad. I haven't confirmed that, but I still think it's worth watching.
//www.youtube.com/embed/mR-tbOxlhvE

Topic Justin Bieber Arrested
Posted 31 Jan 2014 20:22

I'm betting Bieber will be dead by the time he's 27.

27 does seem to be the magic number for that type of thing.

Topic Justin Bieber Arrested
Posted 31 Jan 2014 15:13

This is an interesting piece on this subject, based on some old comments by Craig Ferguson.
http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2014/01/23/265243793/rather-than-joking-about-justin-bieber-watch-this-video

There are a few different Bieber fans at my office and it's also about a 30 minute drive from Stratford, where Bieber is from, so he is a common topic of discussion. One of the points made there hit home with me. He's 19 years old. Think of all the stupid shit we did when we were 19? I almost rolled my grandpa's Chrysler Dynasty driving too fast with my buddy in the car. If I had the money, I sure as hell would have been racing Ferraris and Lamborghinis too. I could legally drink then, being in Canada, and I definitely did.

I think we do need to feel sorry for Justin in some ways. Not too many kids are well equipped enough to handle instant millions at the age of 16. I'm sure his parents have an almost impossible time telling him what to do, since financially speaking, he really doesn't need them any more. He takes care of them more than they take care of him. It's a shift in the power dynamic that leaves him without anyone to really give him firm guidance. Maybe this will be his wake up call and he'll figure out his life. But, it would not surprise me at all if he ends up dying of an overdose or in a car crash because he just couldn't handle the early fame and money.

Topic Ever fallen in love with someone you can't have?
Posted 12 Jan 2014 08:38

Unfortunately, yes.

Topic Thoughts about a threesome
Posted 09 Jan 2014 15:22

I have to side with LadyX on this. Far less drama with two women than two men. Especially if it's as part of a relationship, because the male would need to some how maintain his dominance/protect his alpha status. With women, there tends to be less of that, especially if she's bi, which seems to be more common in women than men.

Topic What do you do to earn that paycheck, and are you happy?
Posted 01 Jan 2014 15:23

I help Canadians eat fresh food. Not that exciting, but it will do for now.

Topic Court decision on prostitution laws in Canada
Posted 21 Dec 2013 20:18

The decision definitely makes sense from a legal point of view. Prostitution is not, and was not, illegal in Canada, so it seems unfair to have laws that put people in danger while partaking in a legal activity. I'm curious to see whether the Conservatives try to outlaw prostitution, or just try to tighten up the laws surrounding it again.

Topic Washington Redskins: Time to change the name?
Posted 15 Dec 2013 19:12

Why now? What has triggered this? Why was it not an issue 5 years ago? 10 years ago? Longer? Ok, so it was likely always an issue, but why has it taken this long for someone to say, ok, this isn't right.

I would guess it just took that long to progress to the point where we were able to focus on this. First we had to fight for equality. And while we haven't fully reached it, we have the basic rules and cultural norms in place to work towards that. Once equality became normal, then the things that go against that equality seem unnatural. But that change doesn't happen overnight. So it took a while for enough people to reach a point where they recognized that naming a team "the Redskins" just wasn't right. And it took even longer for enough people to move beyond that to the point where they felt they had to speak out against it.

Topic Terrorists or Freedom Fighters?
Posted 15 Dec 2013 05:18


To be called a freedom fighter, the group should be fighting for freedom.

What freedom is Al-Qaeda or Hamas fighting for? The freedom to lock women away in burqas or crush homosexuals and throw acid in the face of children?

It is a weak moral equivalence argument.


Hamas is fighting to free Palestine from the oppression Israel has it under. In fact, if you look at the NCTC's description of them, a lot of it sounds like what Mandela went through. Particularly being asked to disavow violence as a way to make progress. http://www.nctc.gov/site/groups/hamas.html

And Al Qaeda is trying to free Muslim states from the American political and economic interference they believe is hurting those countries and their citizens.

That's why this is a tricky topic. What we now call terrorism used to mostly fall under the term "guerilla warfare." Tactics used by a smaller army against a much larger/more powerful one. You attack supply lines, the chain of command, and transportation routes to and hurt the long term viability of your opponent.

Attacks on random civilians will always be terrorism to me. They serve no other purpose than to cause terror in the population. But attacking embassies, or corporate hubs like the world trade centre, I can see argued as being attacks against the authority. Especially if you believe as many around the world do, that corporate America is who is really in charge of that country.

Topic Drunk Teen kills four, injures nine. Gets probation.
Posted 12 Dec 2013 16:01

I think this quote from the DA sums it up well: "There can be no doubt that he will be in another courthouse one day blaming the lenient treatment he received here."

I do agree that in most cases treatment makes more sense than incarceration. The numbers prove that. You incarcerate people, and all they do is sit around and talk to other incarcerated people. Learning how to be meaner, or how to avoid getting caught in the future. BUT, if you take someone's life, not to mention 4 people's lives, you have to do at least some jail time. Otherwise there is no real negative message being sent to you, or to anyone else who might drink and drive and kill people.

Topic Atheist church
Posted 08 Dec 2013 08:46

I think it's a good idea. It's good for people to feel a part of their community. I don't agree with a lot that happens in most christian churches; but I think the idea of getting together and socializing with like-minded people is one of the positives. Whether you call it a church, temple, shrine, or gathering place, I don't see it as an oxymoron. It's people getting together, connecting with their community and trying to improve/inspire their lives.

Topic Online Friends
Posted 07 Dec 2013 11:48

I have to agree, friendships developed online can grow to be just as fulfilling as the ones in real life. They definitely have their advantages and disadvantages, and I've seen both.

I had an 11 month friendship with someone here long ago. We chatted for multiple hours pretty much every single day. Then she disappeared, and eventually I figured out that she wasn't who she claimed to be. Knowing that makes it hard to trust someone from online again when it's a strictly online thing.

The person who is probably my best friend right now I also met online. One of the benefits of online friendships is that it doesn't matter where you move, that friend is always with you. I've moved around a lot in the last 6 years chasing my career goals, so it's been hard to maintain friendships in the real world. But for the last 4 years, this friend has always been just an email or a text away.

The few people I've had the pleasure of knowing both online and in real life were the same, which has helped shape my view that the internet is a communication device, not an alternate reality. So if you truly get to know the person online, it's no different than if you got to know them on the phone, or even via letter as people used to with "pen-pals."

Topic What do you think of this woman lying about an anti-gay note for attention?
Posted 02 Dec 2013 16:36



Sorry but I don't get it. I don't see how us paying what we could afford hurts the server's earnings, we only added to it, not significantly, but I still say something was better than nothing. The only scenario I can think of is if we took the space a person who would have paid higher would have taken, but that was never the case, there were always plenty of empty seats. It's not that we wanted to not tip well, it's that we financially weren't able. I'm not getting why that means we shouldn't have gone out at all.

The point you are missing in this Magma, is something called "Opportunity Cost" in the business world. Your $2, or whatever it was is definitely more than nothing. But what could the waitress/waiter have made if they weren't spending their time on you? In a slower restaurant, it's not really an issue, but in a busy restaurant, you are taking up time that could have been spent on customers who would have tipped $10, but only tipped $8 because the waitstaff was slow. Or, maybe you being seated meant that the $10 tipper had no table at all, and went to a different restaurant. In that case, your $2 tip actually cost the waitstaff $8.

In North America it is a cultural norm to tip. So if you want to fit in, you should do it. That being said, I don't think it should be treated entirely as an obligation. If that's the case, just put it on my bill, and I will pay the say regardless of how good the service was. I like to reward good service, and will tip less, but still provide some sort of tip, for service that was poor, but probably wasn't the server's fault. (cold food, ran out of a certain item, took over 30 minutes to bring me my food, etc) If the service of the server herself/himself was horrible, I would probably not leave any tip, but thankfully, that's never been an issue for me.

Topic NFL Football Fans
Posted 28 Nov 2013 20:44

I got 2/3 based on yesterday's spreads, but 0/3 going straight up. (Off) I'm going to be pissed if they wipe out the games, but I guess it's better than going 0/3.

Topic California "Revenge Porn" law.
Posted 20 Nov 2013 19:15

Who was "weepy eyed"? Who was whining about the poor "victims". The ONLY thing they were victims OF was their own stupidity. So, lock up the person they idiotically left with photos or videos they SHOULD have known better than to leave behind and then pissed off that person off by screwing around on them or screwing them over in some way. Not army. no high horse. But SPEAKING of high horses; why don't you climb down from yours and EXPECT adults to BE adults and use their heads? Oh, that's just asking WAAY too much isn't it? Better to WHINE about the "innocent victim". And, btw; IF you don't LIKE the way I post, the solution is VERY simple, DON'T READ THEM! Actions have consequences; ADULTS realize that; there enough over grown juveniles in this country now!

OK. What about the person who didn't screw around on his or her partner? Some relationships just fall apart on their own and you don't get the chance to ask for your stuff back. Maybe it was the poster of the video that moved on, moved in with a new partner, then later decided to post the videos of the former lover. That would be an innocent victim. And those should be protected.

Topic Should the NHL ban fighting ?
Posted 31 Oct 2013 15:22

if they did no one would go lol

To me, this is the least valid argument for keeping fighting in hockey. Olympic hockey does not have fights, and people watch it just as much as, or even more than, NHL hockey. Also, NCAA doesn't allow fighting either, and somehow their arenas still get filled.

Aside from that, if you look at the stats, NHL hockey averages 0.5 fights per game. And the average fight lasts less than two minutes. You're telling me that everybody who shows up to watch hockey watches 60 minutes of hockey just for a 50% chance to see a two minute fight? Doesn't sound logical to me. Could it be that they enjoy the 60 minutes of hard hits, brilliant passing, laser shots and great saves just as much, if not more?

Topic Time to Ban and Burn confederate flags
Posted 29 Oct 2013 03:40

I read a little of the thread, and I must say so people replying are very uneducated and only look it things from their point of view or experiances. First of all the confederate flag stands for a lot more than slavery or race whatever, I'm neither for or against the flag, but what I am for is the history, so learn what something represents before you start to assume stuff. It's people's right to display any flag they want. I see many different flags displayed on military installations. If its so wrong to have a confederate flag why would the military of all organizations not have any issues with it. It's not the flag or the history of the flag that gave it a bad name it's the racist shitheads that have it the bad reputation.
You are for history, yet you cite the US military as the ultimate judge of whether something is offensive? This is the same US military that had don't ask don't tell, right?

Topic Time to Ban and Burn confederate flags
Posted 28 Oct 2013 17:27





Comparing the Mexican Flag to the Confederate Flag ...
I'm surprised an American or Mexican would lump the two in the same category. I personally don't know of anyone who would, let alone my Mexican family, friends and acquaintances.

In the context of the states mentioned, it makes sense. It's a defeated army/nation's flag that still means a lot to the people who live in the conquered state. How is that any different? If anything, it makes more sense to fly the Mexican flag, because that country still exists.

Topic NFL Football Fans
Posted 27 Oct 2013 16:18

WSH is taking it to DEN right now. And we all thought that division was a lock for DEN lol. KC has had an easy schedule but they also have the talent to be as good as they are playing, its no fluke.

Denver has almost the same schedule as KC, so if we're not going to complain about Denver's schedule, then we shouldn't about KC either. Also, part of the reason those teams have bad records is because they have to play 4 games against Denver and KC.

Topic Help with Obama/Clinton Health Law
Posted 25 Oct 2013 15:51


I don't have any facts for figures to back up my suspicions above, so take it with a grain of salt if you want. But, poor to lower middle class people generally have bad credit and are notorious for not paying their bills. Most of the time, it's because they just can't produce the money to do so no matter how badly they want or try. It's hard to get ahead when you're already behind. The more we learn about this, the more it seems to be a tax on the poor. More bills for those that can't afford the ones they already have.

Like I said, we need something. I just don't think this is going to work. There needs to be discussion, there needs to be a truly objective approach to what will work for everyone and not "this is how it's going to be" sort of mentality.

Ok. To your point on low income families, it sounds like neither of us have enough facts on it. I'm not sure if anyone else (LadyX, Research Guru) knows what the deductible is. To me, that's an obvious way that insurance companies would try and get around having to insure everyone. If you have to cover pre-existing conditions, raise your deductible so you have to pay for less of the more common minor ailments. If they find the right number, they won't pay out any more than they did before. It's such an obvious solution, that hopefully the ACA thought of it, and limits what the deductible can be. Otherwise the whole act is useless because it does nothing for the lower income people it's supposed to help.

As for your second point, there can be no approach that works for everyone when a vocal minority is so strongly against any type of health care plan that it is willing to shut down the country to try and stop a nationalized health care solution. At that point you do have to tell them "this is how it's going to be." Or you can keep letting people die because they are too poor to get healthcare. What possible solution can cover the poor without being a comprehensive government health care plan?

Topic Help with Obama/Clinton Health Law
Posted 24 Oct 2013 15:47

Now we've created a whole new generation of people who will be in debt, medical debt. Eventually that customer will be turned away by that particular doctor, and the doctor will lose that money. Then he'll raise his rates, then insurance rates will go up again.. .it's a vicious cycle. Credit scores will go down, making it harder to buy a car, a house, rent an apartment.

I'm behind a better way to get the medical help to those that can't afford it, but I don't think this plan is going to work. Sooner than later, it's going to hurt the people it was meant to help.



I don't know enough about the rules to comment on the deductible on the lower end. If the situation you described presents itself, I agree it will be a problem, though I would hope that it would be only a small minority of adults who are unable to comprehend that they still need to pay a portion of their medical bills. Those with car insurance should at the very least be familiar with the concept. Maybe I'm naive, but I just can't believe that large portions of your population are so ignorant and uninformed that they would go from having to pay for everything (due to no insurance) to believing they didn't have to pay for anything; without looking into the details to see what their insurance covers.

As for the comment about wanting a plan to help those who can't afford medical coverage, but not liking this plan, what is the alternative? You've seen how much the Republicans have fought this plan. Anything eliminating the risk of poor people not covering the deductible would be closer to socialized medicine than this, and you saw how hard the Republicans fought this plan. Socialized medicine is needed in your country, but it's a political non-starter. So you are stuck with this as a starter until people get more accustomed to the idea.