About Simon66
Biography

Married and happily so, though sometimes frustrated and missing that exciting spark that I get from some of the stories I read here. Have a list of stories I'm wanting to write and after sending in just one had a lot of respect for those who have published several, especially if they're fiction cos that's some imagination!

Have got a few more stories in mind and would love to collaborate on one with a female member in order to give the story full perspective on thoughts, deeds and sensations. - I don't profess to know it all and am always willing to learn! :-)

Name:
Simon
Date Joined:
21 Aug 2012
Last Visit:
21 Apr 2014
Sex:
Male 
Sign:
Pisces
Relationship Status:
Married
Orientation:
Straight
Location:
Interests:
Reading ( especially a good Lush story) kayaking, walking. The latter may sound boring but its beautiful out there and full of fantasies. . . . Mine! Enjoy taboo stories, especially knowing how close I've come to taboo sex. There's a great thrill to be had from 'shouldn't'! Hell even Lush is taboo isn't it?
Favorite Books:
Thrillers. Pure escapism. Mind you, there's quite a few authors on here that I would gladly read in print
Favorite Authors:
Most good thriller writers, but also like a good poem. The choice in both cases is endless
Favorite Movies:
Any good thriller and on a bad day any good Disney classic
Favorite Music:
Deacon Blue, Billy Joel, Fleetwood Mac, Paul Simon and a lot of the stuff he did with that other fella
Twitter
Page Viewed:
1,955 times
Latest Forum Posts
Topic: Is anyone horny right now?
Posted: 26 Mar 2014 16:35

Yes, and apart from my hands and a bottle of baby oil no outlet! Any offers/suggestions?

Topic: Where is the riskiest or oddest place you've had sex?
Posted: 26 Mar 2014 16:30

On a monument just outside a local town about 50 yards from a main road. She was sat on a ledge and I wanted to go down on get, but she wouldn't let me, so we went for the quickie instead. Still smile whenever I drive past there

Topic: The little things that turn you on...
Posted: 12 Feb 2014 16:49

I melt for eyes and a nice accent. I find a nice shaped ankle extremely sexy (find a pair and tell me I'm wrong) and what I really found a turn on was being told by the woman in my first story that she'd been checking out my package as we sat having a coffee in a service station on our shortage ways home from a meeting up country - just as she pulled out of the car park. Had to have a wank on the drive home thinking about that one!

Topic: Is girls masturbating still considered taboo?
Posted: 12 Aug 2013 08:29

Taboo? It should be compulsory with me allowed to watch!

Topic: What accents are sexy for you
Posted: 12 Aug 2013 04:37

French always does it for me. I'd melt if chatted to by a French woman as they are effortlessly sexy and the accent so seductive. I've heard loads of UK accents and think that its the voice that goes with the accent that to me is sexy. Fell in love with a woman with the most gorgeous Yorkshire accent, so homely as well as sexy and the woman in my first story had a west Midlands accent which was lovely to listen to

Topic: I LOVE THE NEW FEATURE!!!!!
Posted: 07 Apr 2013 05:12

It is a cracking little feature. Answers a lot of the little puzzling questions I had.

Topic: This is the funniest thing I have read in a long time!
Posted: 13 Mar 2013 06:21

This is defo the funniest thing I've read in ages. Thank you Pixie and thank you to the idiot who tried this, but better still saw fit to relate the story! faf

Pocket Tazer Stun Gun - a great gift for the wife

A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer Stun Gun for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer.

The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse effect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home... I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.

I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.

Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another.
The directions said that:
A one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant;
A two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and
A three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.
Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it.

I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and...

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE... !!!

I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note:

If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer, One note of caution:

There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor!

A three second burst would be considered conservative!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.

My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was.

My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching.

My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.

I had no control over the drooling..

Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone.

I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair.

I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!

PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it! If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!!

Topic: Best brand of Lubricants for Masturbation
Posted: 12 Mar 2013 10:55

Wow, d'oh! may try that myself, my own way!

Freshly Cut Ginger in my Ass.
Then a little piece rubbed against my clit.
By the time, I reach for my battery friend, I am so lubricated, I need a sponge!

Topic: What's the sexiest text or email message you've ever received?
Posted: 08 Mar 2013 13:02

I've received loads from the wife but the sexiest texts I've had are the series of texts that I relate to in my story. How the hell I managed to remain at my desk I don't know. had to walk through the office with a stalk on to the loo for a wank, pretty much as described. Have received a series of e-mails from someone I know on here and that was made all the more erotic with a few pictures attached. They fill in the blanks that your imagination can't.

Topic: What's the naughtiest thing you've done sexually at work?
Posted: 11 Nov 2012 03:51

My story takes place in work, but I guess like many of the men and women on this site you can add multiple wanks

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Stories Published By Simon66
Not Just a Walk in the Park

It had been a long cold winter and a slow climb in temperatures through spring to this late warm spell in May, my favourite month. Trees were still in mid leaf, Cherry blossom brightened the avenues of trees in parks and along streets. Spring bulbs were coming to the end of their flowering and being overtaken by the promise of the heady scent of roses as June neared and they pushed their...

Added 04 Apr 2013 | Category Voyeur | Votes 20 | Avg Score 4.78 | Views 5,583 | 7 Comments

Vintage Lady

Angie, this is for you should you still be reading on Lush as a guest. There’s ways of staying in touch should you want to. Big love to you. Remembering your long smooth limbs And tender olive hues of skin Your looks demure with hazel eyes The hands that rested on your thighs No shyness, you didn’t look to hide Your naked form displayed with pride A figure proud...

Added 12 Mar 2013 | Category Love Poems | Votes 3 | Avg Score 5 | Views 594 | 4 Comments

Ops Meeting

I’d met Kelly some six weeks previously on a cross functional meeting which I’d organised and invited her along to as a field supervisor. She was one of a number of supervisors from each of four regions who’d been forwarding me the gripes of field based staff about their counterparts in the ops room, so being new and somewhat more dynamic than the time served managers I decided on a meeting...

Added 03 Nov 2012 | Category Masturbation | Votes 8 | Avg Score 4.88 | Views 2,238 | 6 Comments

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Friends Comments
Friends Comments

Shannon3K
Posted: 18 Apr 2014 07:35
AndreaDetroit
Posted: 23 Mar 2014 02:55
Yes I did Simon

Shannon3K
Posted: 19 Mar 2014 07:27
Hi Simon !!!

Shannon3K
Posted: 12 Mar 2014 10:11
AndreaDetroit
Posted: 04 Mar 2014 09:16

Shannon3K
Posted: 19 Feb 2014 07:21
anyone you like?
AndreaDetroit
Posted: 14 Feb 2014 01:32
AndreaDetroit
Posted: 06 Feb 2014 09:36
Simon66
Posted: 17 Jan 2014 12:08
Oh dear me yes! Being a regular hiker it remains the fantasy of me and my two cohorts to come across a group of ladies like this. We live in hope, but meantime - I would xxoxx gladly ride with you girls.

Shannon3K
Posted: 14 Jan 2014 15:18
Ride with us, Simon !!
AndreaDetroit
Posted: 12 Jan 2014 04:43
Wanna go for a ride?

Shannon3K
Posted: 27 Dec 2013 14:37

Shannon3K
Posted: 20 Dec 2013 15:02

Shannon3K
Posted: 17 Dec 2013 08:47

Shannon3K
Posted: 08 Dec 2013 07:48
Simon66
Posted: 03 Dec 2013 12:17
Whatever you two says, goes!
AndreaDetroit
Posted: 03 Dec 2013 09:13
Do as she says!

Shannon3K
Posted: 03 Dec 2013 06:16
Bow indeed!!!
Simon66
Posted: 01 Dec 2013 04:41
I refuse to bow to the Queen too!

Shannon3K
Posted: 30 Nov 2013 13:16
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